Why Is The Message Not Getting Through???

[PunkyDiva]

Too close to home and I'm sad but also very angry.

My DD16 mates were involved a a serious single car accident in the wee hours on the weekend. Speed, alcohol, inexperience, open rural roads and unlicensed being factors.
DD was grounded and had not asked to go to the party, thank god, and it was supervised by parents.

The driver has a few scratches but the girl in front passenger seat has broken bones, damaged organs, in an induced coma and has just been rushed to theatre to relieve swelling on the brain. the other passsenger s although not life threatening have enough broken bones between them that rehab is going to be a long ordeal.
The drivers brother and owner of the car had apparently let his bro drive because he was too tired(had not been drinking though) knowing that his brother was unlicensed and drunk.

Not only have these children been damaged physically but mentally as well because of guilt. The older brother having just attempted to take his life and now in pysch care. The driver will go to juvi and maybe worse if his girlfriend dies. There is also the parents supervising who are racked with guilt for not having taken away all car keys and organised beds and then the parents and families of children directly involved.

One wrong decision has caused all of this and I just don't understand why the message which is everywhere is just not getting across.
People say you can't learn from others mistakes but in this case that is sooo very wrong. Something that should never have happened and will have repercussions for a very long time if not forever.

I worked as a carer with people who became full Quads from exactly this sort of thing. I introduced my children to them not just so they could see the result of one wrong decision in life but also to understand that they are just like you and me but with a modified lifestyle.My DD is understandably upset and I'm trying hard to console but at the same time wanting to ram this very hard lesson down her throat.

It just terrifies, saddens and angers me so much and I thank you for letting me vent here cause my DD needs my strength not wrath at the moment.

[MrsDribbleDrawers]

My thoughts are with you while you try to help your daughter through this. I hope that by the time my daughter is old enough to drive that the message will be received loud and clear. Good luck. Cate - My smilies aren't working, so here's hugs ((()))

[Elfin]

Punky that is awful. I don't know why the message is getting through, I just think kids think they are invincible.

My son is only 8 but I am teaching him road safety already, we talk about speeding and how dangerous it is, overtaking all sorts of things. I am hoping if I start early the message may get through.

[PunkyDiva]

Thanks ladies.
Situation just gets worse as apparently the young girl had a complete hysterectomy and would appear prob paralysed, if she survives at all.
DD is just beside herself as the boy in psych is her good mate but noone can see him for a few days yet (suicide watch and drugged out to calm him)and the young girl is his girlfriend.
Her friends are at the hospy and she really wants to go too but I don't think it's appropriate at the moment. But I understand too why she wants to be there. ohhhh let the light shine please and all our thoughts and prayers be with these kids and their families.

Start the message young, driving is a privilege and not a right to be abused. Make sure seatbelts are on and tightened correctly so sitting across hips not stomach.

[punkbaby]

My thoughts are with you as well punkydiva and my thoughts are with all those involved, you, your dd her freinds and their families as well

[Pixie]

My god that poor girl that is so, so tragic :(

I think a lot of the time the message doesn't get through as a lot of teens, are indestructible (for the teens reading this not saying all, just some) they live the way of life a lot of people do of the "it won't happen to me" things are rare until they happen to you.

It's finding a balance of drumming it into them and letting them be free. I was hit by a drunk driver when I was 12 and then when I started driving I would never drink and drive the image of myself laying in the road was enough to stop me, it crossed my mind though.

I drove fast the lanes "green laning it" I didn't know my limits. and it wouldn't happen to me. Thankfully it didn't.

I don't know the answer but I hope the message gets through to your DD love :hugs:

[sam's mum]

I think that it is not just teens, it is humans. Until something makes you think that it could be you, then it is only something that happens to other people.

I can do xxx because I won't get hurt, I know other people do, but not me. They keep doing it until something happens to make it personal to them. In my family it was smoking. My Gran getting diagnosed with emphysema didn't stop Dad and me. Dad getting diagnosed with the start of emphysema showing on his lungs stopped him, but it didn't stop me. Me getting pregnant stopped me.

Same with the kids in the cars. They all think that they can drive better and so it will never happen to them, until it does...

I hope that your DD and her friends come through this as best they can given the injuries (mental and physical) they have already sustained.

:hugs:

[studyingECS]

i dont really know too much what to say but you helped me when i needed someone to talk to so i can imagine how supportive you would be to your own daughter.

Just be your supportive, compassionate, loving self and i am sure that will be some of what your daughter needs at this emotional time.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Ashleigh<3]

I'm so sorry to all PD.
:(

It's so hard to figure out what to say when these things happen.

:hugs:

[Beany]

I'm so sorry PD :(

I don't know what to say - it all seems so empty knowing the condition of the girl and the mental state of her boyfriend.

[PunkyDiva]

Thankyou again ladies, it is one of those "what do you say?" moments huh.

Guess life goes on but for these people certainly not in a way they ever invisaged.
No news so hoping young girl pulled through surgery, although I beleive strongly in life I also know the cold hard facts, the pain, embarrassment, humility, anger and a broad spectrum/roller coaster of emotions ahead of her and my heart just hurts. Times like this I guess people will be questioning thier faith in a lot of things. xxx

[Shanaynay]

That is just so awful :gloomy:
What makes it so awful too is this just never should have happened. Accidents do happen, but the ones invloving drunk drivers just shouldn't happen :gloomy:
That poor girl. And your poor DD, she must be beside herself. If one good thing can come out of this, it's the hope that your DD will never ever ever consider getting into the car with anybody not fit to drive, and be a careful driver herself.
Hugs to her, you, and the other kids and famillies involved :hugs: