Going for custody

[rollercoastermum]

My partner and I are going to be going for custody of his 9yr old son.
This poor little boy has been in foster care as his mother is not capable of caring for him and sadly his father hasnt been around.
But since him and I have been together (4yrs) I have been really encouraging him to see his children he has with this other female ( :barf: ) she doesnt deserve to be called a person...he has two children to her... how he could ever have done it is beyond me..

Anyway CFS would just let DSS come live with us as DP and his son needed to build up a relationship and work on things.. so we have been doing that and on the day before Good Friday we found out that my partner's son was coming to live with us for good!!:thumbsup:

We were all so so happy...

My step-son is still under a order with CFS but this will be revoked when we get custody of him through the Family court.. this is so his "mother" cannot remove him from our care...

She will most likely never re-gain custody of the children she has lost to family services.
She has no where to call home and drinks and smokes.. goes from place to place, sells what she can to buy alcohol and what not...

Really is a sad story but at least we can help my partner's son and give him a stable loving safe secure enviroment to grow up in...

[sam's mum]

:yelclap: good luck and I hope that he settles well with you. I wish you happiness for your expanded family.

[pegasus]

Good luck Tammy with your growing family.:thumbsup:

Also good luck in supporting your partner with his contact with his other child.:hugs:

[Lunar]

Good luck with it all. Sounds like that boy is on the fast track to a better life. He will now have two loving parents to care for him and help him grow.

Can I ask why your partner had no contact with him for so long?

[rollercoastermum]

I really dont know why he had no contact for so long.. I think the ex was part of it and I dont think he is REAL father material.. sad but true and I have only realised this in the last 12mths or so...:-)

[4tiggers]

Tammy, you are great for opening your heart and your life to a child that really needs you. I hope dad learns to be father material and you become a happy family. I know this little boy certainly will be happy.:smiliedance:

[rollercoastermum]

Tammy, you are great for opening your heart and your life to a child that really needs you. I hope dad learns to be father material and you become a happy family. I know this little boy certainly will be happy.:smiliedance:
Thanks.. and one can only try.. I do hope that in this case that I can teach an old dog new tricks!!
(My DP just turned 50 last week):laughing:

[4tiggers]

My hubbys dad was 50 before he was even born. Would have been a good dad except he suffered a stroke when dh was only a small child and just never recovered. Consequently, my dh wanted kids asap, he wanted to be young ( off the track I know ).

Anyway, I truly do admire what you are doing. At least he is going to have a loving, consistent full time mum (sooooooo important).

[lotsababies]

I am happy for you and your partner, it is a very courageous thing you are doing. However, another woman is bringing up my son with my ex and I couldn't be any more disappointed in the "system" for allowing this.

My ex cheated on me throughout my pregnancy, I have 2 other children who reside with me happily and my life has been unstable due to the lying and cheating incurred by me from my ex partner and ex husband.

I developed a mood disorder from the stress and depression of feeling like I was never good enough for my partners in the past, and as soon as I had my baby within 9 months, his dad took him and now has full custody of him due to my disorder which he helped to create.

I fully understand the "other" side of the story and feel the justice system is so very wrong and missunderstanding of most situations as there are always reasons to cause a mother to drink, smoke, be unstable and have her children in the custody of DHS and the like. There are reasons beyond belief as to why one parent is chosen by the courts to be the "better" roll model and those reasons are commonly unfounded.
However, my aunt is a foster carer and she has has many children come in and out of her home after a life of neglect and abuse. Broken bones and drug use.

One day the justice system will realise that a family court matter is of much substance and not just the obvious problems they can see on the surface.

[rollercoastermum]

I am sorry to read that the system has "failed" you.

HUGS to you...

[118]

If you both can :hugs: the child that be XLNT.You'll be his mum like your biological children. Not going to be easy but can be done. I admire :angel: like yourselves. To let him have some supervised acess to his abusive biological mum be the best for his needs. Remember mums & child rights & bond per say. On a health professional point of view & mix family dynamics that's hard to deal with much less impliment. The child obviously needs therapy to resolve a number of inhereted problems in relation to love & behaviour issues if he / new family can click better. My hubby & I too will face such a horific matters when my 2 teenage abducted ever come home to us. Anyway in your case it is more clear cut... the child is in danger he needs stability from responsible family members. I understand why your hubby was cut off -he can't reach him due to her demonic actions. Yes it is power, drug & alcahol induced dynamics but there is no excuse for any child to be neglected or subjected to abuse. Such abuse will eat the victims alive if they don't get the right help ASAP. Yes, :ecomcity: cycle needs to change for any child/ family to be at peace persay. All the best in your families quest for a brighter future as a united loving family. Reality is there isn't a perfect family but we all can strive to make eachothers lives :hugs: .BTW why can't you take his (child) other siblings as well. True DCD, $, age custody factors etc. if they are ready to take that step in their lives?
Take care. 118