Missing Family

[Bessie]

Sorry, a bit of a winge here....
I won't call it homesickness as I don't miss the UK as such, and I love Australia, but I miss my family. My parents came over for 5 weeks and went last week, then I did a silly thang and went thru my old photos.... bad idea. My nieces looked so cute and I felt so nostalgic, I thought I was coping well but then I dreamt about them last night. To top it all off, mum just called and said that my brother and family are very anti coming over.
:gloomy: I feel so down and its hard to shake this horrible feeling!

[Nanay]

I know how you feel, my family lives in Canada and i miss them so much. They came over for a couple of weeks in November and before they left for the airport i balled my eyes out...i was 8 months pregs by then too but i really do miss them and my little nephew, i was basically his second mom before i left but when i left he would not talk to me for a while but when he did talk to me he would say i love you and i miss you and ask permission if he could sleep in my room ... miss them so much, i still talk to them once a week...

[millymoo]

Hi Bessie

Sorry to hear you are feeling down.

I had a bad time when I had Amelia. Mum and Dad were due to come for 3 mths but when I had given birth they told me that Mum had had a stroke and heart attack whilst I had been in the later stages of pregnancy (they had kept it from me so as not too panic me...very thoughtful and loving thing to do). They were not going to be able to come. I was abosolutely distraught that they would not be able to see Amelia. In the end to cut a long story short...they made it over. But for those few weeks I felt so low and alone over here so i know how you must feel, even though it has passed for me.

Have you got skype, webcam and all the other keeping in touch things?

Why is your brother anti coming here?

My dad wants to move here but Mum won`t so that is a problem in our family at the moment. I would love to have them here.

Where are you living and how long have you been here?

I came over 2.5 yrs ago from Leeds and live in The Hunter. Big adjustment but we are getting there.

Helen

[Londonmum]

Like the other ladies I can relate to how your feeling. I don't miss the UK so much but I do really miss my parents, I have a sister and niece but I'm resigned to not seeing them (long story I wont go into). The only thing that keeps me from cracking up is the support I get from my husbad and friends and the knowledge that my parents want to emigrate to join us when my dad retires, so I am counting down the days/years but it's still hard.

Know that you have us fellow emigratees (is that a proper word ?) and we will do our best to help you through this.

As Millymoo said....do you know why Brother wont come over ? Can you go over to them ?

[shell1985]

Sorry, a bit of a winge here....
I won't call it homesickness as I don't miss the UK as such, and I love Australia, but I miss my family. My parents came over for 5 weeks and went last week, then I did a silly thang and went thru my old photos.... bad idea. My nieces looked so cute and I felt so nostalgic, I thought I was coping well but then I dreamt about them last night. To top it all off, mum just called and said that my brother and family are very anti coming over.
:gloomy: I feel so down and its hard to shake this horrible feeling!

Hey there I feel the same. Me and my family are from the UK and my brother is still over there and his little son who we have only met once. Plus all my cousins etc, I love Oz and miss home aswell. But we realise sometimes how much we have missed out on. :)

[Bessie]

Hi guys, thanks for all the replies. I've been a bit too busy for bubhub (3 kids can be a bit mad sometimes!) and have come to see things a bit differently.
I think I was getting rose tints about my brother's family and our relationships. Looking at the photos made it all seem so perfect, but then I remembered the arguments and stuff and realised I was seeing things wrongly.
I've chatted it thru with hubby and my bestie and feel a bit better now. If we'd stayed in the UK our quality of life wouldn't be so good, we'd have more contact with family but there'd be those awkward moments when we argued etc. Sometimes when we drove up to see my brother back in the Uk, I'd spend the 3 hours of the way back fretting about something horrible he'd said... my family can be a bit blunt etc. at times.
Hopefully by the time we can afford to go back my bro will have grown up a bit and will be less opinionated and judgemental etc. and maybe he will stop DH from 'dragging me out here" cos I wanted to come anyhow!
Thanks again for your support and sorry for the winge!

[Londonmum]

Glad to hear your feeling better :hugs:

It can happen like that can't it, those rose tinted glasses have a lot to answer for :p

Myself, I had a bad moment last night. My parents called on SKYPE and we both had our cameras on which was good cause I got to see them.
They called early so they could see DD before she went to bed (they haven't seen her on camera for a few months due to tech problems) and at first DD was a little reserved....wasn't quite sure what was happening and who these strange people were (she's not seen them for about 6 months). Anyway, I had been trying to get some video footage of DD watching the end of Bear in the big blue house (so I could send it to them), which she loves, cause she jiggles and bounces during the last song and then waves goodbye to bear when the programme finishes.....it's just so cute to see.
So we put a DVD of it on and put it on towards the end so DD could 'perform' for her grandparents, which she did and even at one point came towards the comp/camera and looked at them and then pointed to Bear as she made one of her little 'look' noises.
I just saw the huge smile on my dads face as they were watching her and it just choked me up :crying: Just made me realise (not that I hadn't before) that they are missing out on DD growing up, thanks goodness for cameras and camcorders.....just going to have to record loads more things to put to DVD for them.

Sorry, waffled on a little there :D

[millymoo]

LM I feel the same about this. Mum and Dad were here from Amelia being 8 wks and left when she was 5 mths. I realsise they won`t see her for a long time now and figure I will have to show her pictures alot so when she does see them she at least knows who they are.

Dad wants to move here but Mum doesn`t so there are dramas in their house. dad wants to come at xmas too but Mum doesn`t . Not sure how to feel about that. My brother also could come here if they did so she is holding us all apart really. He lived here for 4 yrs in the early 2000 and has a great network in Sydney. He flies out twice a year at the moment.

I am glad yr parents enjoyed DD. Lovely.

H x

[Bessie]

That's so cute LM, I'm glad your parents got to see that. Sometimes I wonder how the 10 pound pommies coped... we're so lucky with emails and skype... even cheap phone calls.
We're still doing well, I wasn't prepared for feeling so devastated when my parents went back but we're getting on with life and I'm trying not to worry about finances and when we can afford a holiday back!

[Manxie]

Hi

I really miss my family and friends as well. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer last year. We rushed back to be with her for her first lot of chemo but it broke my heart not to be with her for her surgery and my heart still breaks not to be there for her now.

I am resigned to the fact that my parents will never visit me in Oz:gloomy: In fact as some of you know from the other UK threads I have also made the choice that if I have another bub I will not be going back to the UK for another 4/5 years to visit and who knows what will happen during that time. I am scared that if I get pregnant my family will not want to worry and will not tell me if something happens at home. I know that they will be doing this with the very best intentions but its almost as much of a worry thinking that they may be withholding something from me as much as it would be if they told me IYKWIM.

As for my sister, she made it out to Malayisa on holiday but for some reason has never come to Oz. I couldnt really care less now if she comes or not, she's the one missing out as far as I'm concerned.

If only we could just move Oz closer an 8 hour flight home would be so much more manageable.