Depressed about bub's sleep

[woman of mystery]

I've been thinking lately about how awfully difficult I'm finding my baby's resistance to sleep and I wonder if other people find it as completely demoralising as I do? It's been such a big issue for me for her whole life (nearly a year) and I'm not sure if this is just a normal response to a hard situation. I feel like my whole life revolves around her sleep (or lack of) and I'm sick of not being able to commit in advance to doing things with other people (I'll ring you on the day to tell you what time I can come because I'm not sure when B will sleep"). I feel like other people must think I"m a failure for not knowing my child well enough by now or having her in a proper "routine" etc etc, but then I think I'm just imagining that they think that and I'm the one with the problem, not them (actually, either way it's me with the problem...... :rolleyes: ).

I used to rock B to sleep, but she slept badly when I did that, and my back isnt' up to it anymore, (plus she doesn't ususally let us rock her,) she will sometimes feed to sleep, but is so quick now she's often full before she's sleepy and doesn't want more, I can't cosleep because our bed is tiny and I'm not that keen, she won't go to sleep with me lying next to her or patting her (yes I've tried all the "gentle" methods I can think of with little or no success). CC was the only thing that helped her to go to sleep (PLEASE don't tell my why I CC isn't good for babies - I'm well aware of that and hated doing it but she didn't respond to ANY of my other methods) but she keeps going backwards with that every time she gets a tooth or is off colour, plus my heart's really not in it and I don't want to have to keep re-doing it.

I just feel so terrible about it all - I often end up in tears myself when I'm trying to get her to sleep. I feel stupid that my child is nearly one and I STILL can't get her to go to sleep by herself. Whenever I hear ppl talk about their baby putting themselves to sleep, or even just playing happily in their cot I feel insanely jealous and completely inadequate - am I the only one who feels like this? Sorry to vent, but it's really getting me down.

[lil monkey]

You are certainly not the only one - I too am in exactly the same boat!

At the moment we don't know if it's teething or being unwell but she has a major case of separation anxiety and she has screamed for 2 hours non stop in her cot so we have given up and she fell asleep instantly in the bed with one of us. Think i have to go out and buy a king bed tomorrow............

I get criticised by my friends when I say I don't know if i can make it as it depends on Tayla's sleep - i have tried to get her to adapt to my routine only to have a hysterical bub later on.

I am currently very depressed about it all - for 3 months when she was 3 months old, she slept from 7pm to 7am with no dummy or wake ups and now she is unsettled all night. It really wears you down and I am so exhausted and can't remember when I last had a good solid nights sleep.:(

Hang in there, there has to be a light at the end of the tunnel - i just want you to know that you are not alone! :)

[reAllytee]

I had a very unsettled colicky baby for the first 3mths & would cry day & nite which in turn had me crying all the time also !
I guess when i gave up trying to get bubs into a routine i wanted as well as a few other things he settled down but i was lucky i suppose. Im not going through restless sleepless nites & days at almost 10mths as he is teething & yeah well its not fun as i had thought we were over this ?!?!?!?
Apparently i was the same & i never got better i have always been a bad sleeper & continues to this day so i guess im not suprised with bubs being the same.
My parents ended up co-sleeping with me have you tried this ? Im not saying its for everyone as my bubs no longer likes it but it helped me when he was younger he loved it now he just wont do it will scream or play but its a great thing for a lot of parents & if it works its great ! As i said my parents did it with me & it lasted till i was either 2 or 3yrs when i just grew out of it & was happy to sleep alone.
Its worth a shot if not for anything else but your sanity !
Your not alone thats for sure ! Dont worry i had a friend who's baby was always happy by himself & very easy going whereas mine was clingy so to speak & wouldnt let me put him down the day it got easier was the day i realised my bub was his own self & that i had to stop comparing ! easier said than done i know as we all want the "perfect" baby/child but im sure there are other mothers jealous of your gorgeous girl !
Worse case scenario maybe you will have to speak to your doctor or CHN for some advice or referral to speak with someone who could help.

[Baby Girl]

My DD1 was a horrid sleeper from 6 months to 2 1/2 years - she went through phases of good and bad - more bad for a long time. Once she was alseep she was fine but getting her to sleep was a constant struggle.

You are not alone. And you will survive - sanity and all!!

One day you will happen upon something that just works for you and your bub. As bub gets a little older and you can start to reason with them a bit more bedtime becomes much easier. I promise.

We tried heaps of different ways to get her to go to sleep. Co-sleeping, rocking, patting, a variation of CC, laying her on our stomach and slowly rolling side to side while cuddling her, pacing up and down halls, walks in the pram, drives in the car, singing, sitting by her cot, laying beside her cot....so many more. PM if you want to know about any - there are too many things we tried to go into detail here.

Big ((HUGS)) to you, keep your chin up - You will get through this ;)

[Zada]

I can relate to alot of you's! zara is a bad sleeper too. i have to rock her to sleep and she wakes every 2 hours and is very hard to settle. i often have to hop in her bed as its the only way to get some sleep! im in the process of trying some new techniques from a book i got off the health nurse thats written by the big sleep school in melbourne. seems to be working slowly hopefully get there soon!

[woman of mystery]

Thanks you lovely ladies. I'm feeling a bit better the last few days...just gets me down sometimes - everyone else seems to cope so much better than me (or does everyone feel like that? :rolleyes: ). I appreciate your support.

[Goosie22]

"I feel like my whole life revolves around her sleep (or lack of) and I'm sick of not being able to commit in advance to doing things with other people (I'll ring you on the day to tell you what time I can come because I'm not sure when B will sleep"). I feel like other people must think I"m a failure for not knowing my child well enough by now or having her in a proper "routine" etc etc, but then I think I'm just imagining that they think that and I'm the one with the problem, not them (actually, either way it's me with the problem...... )."

This is being a mother, putting your baby first. What is the big mistery you can't control another person to the point of knowing exactly what they will do in advance? My friends know I will turn up when and if I can and they are happy with that because they are my friends I don't need to keep up appearance at all.;)

"or even just playing happily in their cot" What is there to be jelous about here? Lack of stimulation and attention. I would be glad my kids didn't play in their cot. They want to be near you because they love you and your a great mum.

As the other girls have pointed out its only such a short time to be inconvienenced (for want of another word) But how about focusing on what you have now instead of what your missing out on or can't do. Being a mother is a hard gig nobody has ever said it isn't. Hang in there you can do it.