View Full Version : Worst Thing
Just wondering what ever things is the worst thing about being a young mum?
I would have to say, for me, it is the way people react towards you. The way everyone gives dirty looks and make smart arsed comments.
Id have to say the same thing, ppl who think just cos u r young that it is ok to judge u, and look down there noses at u. You just have to keep ur head up tho and not lower urself to their standards cos as long as u know ur a good mum, screw wat anyone else thinks. There is alot of advantages of beinga young mum, like when my son turns 18 and wants to go clubbing ill only b 34 so i can go too :)
Just off to bed when I read this...
I was young when my daughter was born (12yrs ago). I found people give dirty looks ,comments etc blah, blah.
I'm now 31 and when I look back I realise that sometimes I was just waiting for someone to judge me. Then I got too busy to care. If you are not looking for it, you won't notice it. There is always some **** with an opinion no-one cares about.
My partner gets judgemental looks etc all the time, he's 40 now, and it's not for his age, it's for his tattoos.
Really, don't waste your time on what others think, give them heaps if you can, or the situation warrants it, but do it with style and grace. And do it for me and all the other (former) young mothers out there who copped the same.
Good luck! :D
has anyone noticed that the people who give young mums the dirty looks, etc... tend to be, (i don't want to offend anyone by saying this), but alot of the time the looks come from older people. People who more than likely had their children at the same ages as the mums they are now judging. I am not saying all older people are like this, but most of the people who I have had funny looks from have been.
The rest of the looks have been from ladies only a few years older than me, maybe they are wishing it is them pushing a pram :)
im 19 now and my daughter is 8 months old and recently i was talking to a guy in a chatroom and when i told him i had a baby and was married he called me a s**t which i dont understand and i was very offended by.all i want to know is y is it automatically asumed that because we r young we must be s**ts and bad mothers and not care for our children. i love my daughter more then anything in the world and sure she wasnt a planned thing but i wanted nothing then to have children with my husband and we had discussed having children before we even thought i was pregnant.
im sick of the stares i get from people but i love when are nice and talk to my daughter and so does she
Well, besides the fact that I am 23 and have a 5yr old son, the teachers as well as the other mums at my sons school are constantly looking down on me and just to prove how wrong they were about some of the comments I over heard, I had my sons IQ tested and he rated as a 6.5- 7yr old level. Now I am having my second child, due 29th september, 05 and can just imaging some of the crap that they would be saying about me now. I think that if the chgildren are well looked after and provided for then it shouldnt matter how old the parents are. Personally I think that it is wrong being an older parent cause you will never be able to keep up with your kids. One of the other mothers at his preprimary is as old as my mother. I just think I am better off having my babies now, when they can be the most important things in my life, not when I have to sacrifice things in order to have them.
Yeh, when Belle was at school I found it a bit hard too (but if I had overheard nasty comments it would have been worse HOW RUDE). It was more because I had to work, and didn't have the luxury of standing around in gym gear, next to my new FWD chatting to the other mothers.
As time got on, and a few school events later I realise that I wouldn't choose these people as friends anyway.
I also learnt that the *****y girls at school don't always leave it behind and grow up to be *****y women - they just go for your weakest part . I had to laugh when they started to talk to me after they heard I had gotten married. Apparently after that I was socially acceptable.
I encountered some looks from the older, nanna ladies, but some of them were just lovely too!
things changed for me when one day I was out with my daughter and she was just being a normal cheeky kid. I found myself telling her off because I didn't want the people around me to think I was a crap mother. Geez, the people were total strangers, why did I care what they thought? I just the whole thing away after that, parented my child the way I wanted to, and if I felt people staring or trying to bring me down, I just gave them a brilliant smile and carried on doing things my way. :D
I have just turned 26 and am expexting my second child in early May. My first was born in October 2003. So I guess I'm not really a young Mum but I am certainly not old. I have never looked my age though. I have always looked years younger. When I was pregnant with my first child I suffered severely with swelling and couldn't wear my wedding rings which devastated me for two reasons. One, I was very proud of the union I have with my husband I loved to show the world the commitment I had made to him (pretty sappy I know). But secondly, I was so worried people would look down at me for being yet another unmarried young Mum who just drains the resources from tax payers. I actually went and bought a replacement wedding ring until I could where mine again because I was so worried about other people staring at me and judging me.
I must admit there are times I look down at other mothers myself. Which I am not proud of. But the things that rile me aren't other people's age it is things like abusing their children, smoking around them or when the are pregnant and other things that can damage a child's health or self esteem.
In all honesty some of the most devoted parents I know are actually younger Mums and Dads. A lot of the older parents I know tend to put their careers and own personal gratification well before the needs of their child.
I know people will always form opinions of others, that is just what humans do. I just wish people would form opinions based on the things that matter and not trivial issues like age.
I can understand what you guys are going through. i am not a young mum, my daughter is 1 and I am 32, but I have 2 stepsons who are 14 & 13. They live with my parnter and I and when they were younger, I used to get comments all the time that I couldn't possibly be old enough to be their mother. We still get stares from people now but we just ignore them, who really cares what other people that we don't know think? As long as you are being true to yourself and your child, being the best parent that you know how, that's all that matters.
my hubby and i tend to get dirty looks too cos i'm a young mum he has tattoos and he's 18 years older than i am i just wish ppl who didn't know us would just bugga off they wouldn't like ppl snicked behind there hands and pointed and laughed and made horrible comments. i just don't think they realize what they are missing out on and as for being a young mum i think it is better in the long run cos when your young you have more energy than older ppl and by the time you wanna retire your children are all grown up and can lok after themselves (well wishfull thinking anyway)
I'm 35, and although I was too busy partying and having fun when I was younger to even consider having bubbies (quite apart from the fact that I didn't meet my hubby until I was 29 - the only man decent enough I ever dated that I would consider having kids with!) I sometimes wish I'd had my baby much younger so that I would have more energy to keep up with her, and to bounce back from that good ol' sleep deprivation!
It doesn't really matter what age you are when you have kids, as long as you can give them love and attention and stability - that's all they really need - and as long as you know you are providing this, then bugger everyone else and their opinion!
I am a young mum and for many years I put up with a lot of crap. I gave birth to my little girl in 1997, I had just turned 17, I went through hell. I was alone ,appart from my sister,I did not have the support of my family (bunch of hopeless drug addicts) and my friends decided it was cool to have a place to come and hang out and drink and party. I got back together with my daughters father, he also was there to "hang out", he became abusive phyically and mentally. All this time while I was puting up with this crap, holding on to these people who didn't give a hoot about me or my daughter, I was trying to be the best mum I could and people, so called adults would put me down. I eventually dumped my friends. I got rid of the boyfriend (with the help of the police), in short I started a new life. Years latter my daughter started preschool and I began to feel like I was dirt again. Questions like "What made you decide to go though with the pregnancy?" to which I answered "What made you go though with yours?." The nerve of these people jugeing me on somthing they knew nothing about! My daughter is now in grade 3 and how times have changed! These people who at first glance judged me and my situation so harshly have reallised my little girl is amazing partly because I am raiseing her.These people now hugely respect me because they have gotten to know me and my situation, boy are there some red faces. LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL? I am now 24 and my fiance and I are expecting another little girl we have been congratulated over and over. My life is now happy. MORAL OF THE STORY? These people who put you down do not know you or your situation. They have no right to judge you but they will. Just do your best and you'll feel the rewards of motherhood. Thus ends my rambleings.
i would have to say the worst thing is the diryt look and the views of people who think my legs were open 24-7 and thinking that u dont know who ya babys daddy is the one thing that got me mad was dose ur son see his father i would say u asked it wrong its dose the father want anything to do with ur son
I was walking to the shops one day holding my beautiful little boy when these two guys yelled out 'at least we know she puts out', my mum was with me and I was so embarrassed, later I went home and had a cry, (I was/and still am an 'occassional emotional wreck) Those comments really hurt me and I couldn't stop thinking so is that what people think of me! I don't really think I am that young anyway I'm 22?!
The comments I really, really hate is when are you getting married, drives me nuts... I love my fiance and I love my baby, I think we are already a family, and I don't think you need a marriage certificate to prove that! :confused:
for me the worst thing about being a young mum is being labled........ Im a MUM thats all that matters.......... so when I get dirty looks and comments about having children young ( I am 24 and have a 4- 2yold and a new born and it doesn't help I look 14) i get peeved......who says that just because Im young I cant raise my children as well as a 30 yold mother?????
It bugs the sh*t outta me when 'older' mums give me a sideways look or shake their head.
So what if i send my kid to school in an unironed uniform, so what if i give her lunch money almost every day... so what if i turn up to the school to pick her up and im still in the same pj's i was in that morning....
I don't care because i know my children get ALL of me, instead of making school lunches and busying myself with washing & ironing im on the floor making cubby houses with my kids, we're cooking or dressing up, playing outside under the sprinkler, reading, learning and growing TOGETHER.
I like the quote from the viva paper towel ad - mess is how you know you're still having fun!
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