Years running out.

[millymoo]

I just thought I would see if anyone else felt like I did after having Amelia.

All through the decision to have her, the pregnancy, the birth, our decision was she would be our last one.

Now I sit and look at her and love being Mum to a baby second time round (DD1 and DD2 are teens now) and am getting the urge for more but when she is 4-5ish. DH tells me he would worry about my age then...42 abouts.

For the first time my feelings are like time is running out for that stage of life...the child bearing years and it`s pretty daunting.

Where have the years gone where time of life was never an issue!

[PinkSuede]

Hi Millymoo,

I know exactly how you feel - in fact I often take comfort in reading your posts that you are around my age as ever since I had DD1 it dawned on me that time/life was finite and that you really should do some things by a certain age!

At least you already have three - my DH wants three (and is a few years younger) and all I can think is 'we better have twins and we better have them now!'.

Seriously though I discussed this with my OB when pregnant with Jas and he said "Get real. At 34 you fall into the younger category of my patients. The youngest is 28 and the oldest is 48." That gave me a bit of comfort!

xo Kirstie

[charlen49]

Hi Helen & Kirstie....I feel the same as both of you.....though dp is reluctant to have any more when we have the horrible days...and then he changes his mind when bub is having a great day and says " you could almost let mummy talk me into another one of you"....though i must admit there are days i think gees i dont know if my old body could handle another little one just yet......if i do have another it wont be yet! and then that will be it...1 playmate for jaimee!

[millymoo]

Hello Kirstie, good to see you again!

Yes I do have 3 but am loving being Mum to a baby more now I think than at 21 and 24 so it has made me think about another when i didn`t expect too at all.

DH is also young so i think sees me as a fossil sometimes! The trouble is in my head I still feel his age. I take great comfort too in what your OB told you. Did you go private if you don`t mind me asking?Do you think you will have anymore? At least your DH is seeing you as in you prime!! No mine is fine just a little worried as I would be looking at 40+ and had the Gest diab last time.

Charli...you know where we are not heading if we do this again!!!I too take comfort in you feeling the same way.Who would have thought it hey!

I guess I know that ticking clock feeling now!

H x

[PinkSuede]

I went private - after some gynae problems six months before I fell pregnant it just seemed a good idea. I'm glad I did as it was my first pregnancy and my overactive imagination needed to be kept in check sometimes. I'm also a privacy freak when it comes to things like being in hospital and wouldn't have coped too well with some of the public hospital horror stories I have heard from friends.

However, the time came for the birth and after a 23 hour labour the doc made it just as her head popped out!

Not sure if I would go private again - especially if we end up moving north as I don't think it would make much of a difference at the local hospital.

I know what you mean about wanting more - Jazzy has been so unsettled from the very beginning but over the past few weeks both hubby and I have been semi-joking about thinking about starting again.

Must be mad!

I think I would like three all up, but have made a little mental decision not to be pregnant after 40 ... so we will see what happens. Better tell DH to get cracking!!!

xK

[motherhoodlmb]

I was (and still am) adamant that we were only having two. My youngest will be 3 at the end of May and I'm 39. My oldest started primary school this year and that's a whole different ball game with him being out of the house for five days.

In some ways I love it because he is a strong extravert and I'm a strong introvert who likes her quiet time :laughing: but about eight months ago I found myself a bit sad because I knew I wasn't having any more and that part of my life was finished (the having baby bit).

So yes I can empathise with you as I do feel like the years are running out and turning 40 this year probably doesn't help that feeling.

However, there is a lot to be said about having older kids - I really enjoy my son being 5 and watching him experience life - I love it...

[Roopee]

I know what you mean to a certain extent.

I KNOW i have finished having kids and that i dont want anymore, however, when im sitting looking at my new baby and i think, i will never, ever be pregnant ( and i suffer severe morning sickness), i will never have another labour, i will never hold a newborn again, well..... it's enough to make me cry.

It's like a part of your life is over, finished and never to be again.

Its a really difficult thing to describe, but its extremely emotional and i think the women feel it more than the men too if that makes sense.

[3boys1girl]

I know what you mean to a certain extent.

I KNOW i have finished having kids and that i dont want anymore, however, when im sitting looking at my new baby and i think, i will never, ever be pregnant ( and i suffer severe morning sickness), i will never have another labour, i will never hold a newborn again, well..... it's enough to make me cry.

It's like a part of your life is over, finished and never to be again.

Its a really difficult thing to describe, but its extremely emotional and i think the women feel it more than the men too if that makes sense.

It is a sad part of your life to know that u will never bear children again:(
I have 3 kids who are beautiful kids and I should be happy with what I have got and finacially we shouldnt have anymore as we are comfortable as we are now, but I cant stand to know that I will never have another baby. I want one more, but then im scared that after #4 will I say that im still not finished and I want #5? Cause on the budget we could squeeze in 4 but NOT 5!
I think im one of those women who would be pregnant all the time if it wasnt for money! DAMN MONEY!:banghead:
But I guess we have to realise that our kids will grow up and we will be Grandparents:eek: and its the next phase in our life.
I guess having babies makes us feel as if we are still young

[MrsMiggins]

3KM, that's very much how I feel!

I know after I had Claire I remember thinking that I wish I'd been able to start having my kids much younger (in a way...) because I would be so sad the day I realised I wouldn't be having any more. I definitely want at least one more - possibly even 2 - but we would like a gap of more than 17 months between 2 & 3. Maybe 3 years or so. But age-wise, that's going to make it a bit tricky if we want #4.

DH will be 40 this year & he has already told me he doesn't want to be 50 & running around after toddlers!

[millymoo]

Thanks girls...I draw comfort in that I am not alone.

I find it quite an indescribable feeling really and it can make me feel broody too.

[Pipsii]

I just had my first at 32 and feel as though I have a lot of time up my sleeve before I need to make the decision about having another bub.

I have a 13 year old brother, I was almost 19 when he was born - my mother was 41. I think for her he was the easiest of them all, having 3 almost adult children at home who took over everything the minute they walked through the door at the end of the day. Mum never had to worry about bathing or changing nappies in the evening - we had all that covered!

[millymoo]

That is wonderfully reassuring Pippsi..thanks as still not sure on whether to go again. Just putting it on the back burner at the moment and enjoying Amelia.

:wave:

[charlen49]

:yes: :fingerscrossed: i hope to go again...just got to convince dp!!!!!!