TMI warning, very sensitive subject!

[shymumto1]

Hi, I am new to posting on this webste but have been a visiter for a while so am hoping that someone can give me some advice on a very sensitive subject.

My DP & I have been trying to fall pregnant with our first bubby for about 6 months in total, 4 without charting or OPK's & 2 with. I wanted to increase our chances.

Recently DP wanted to dtd but I was about 5 days into my week long period so I didn't want to, he said he didn't mind & would just wear a condom & put a towel down. I was grossed out at the suggestion & said I really didn't want to & couldn't see how he would want to either but he said that he loved me & wanted to be with me & had started feeling like I only want him when its good for making babies.

I don't want him to feel this way but I've never done it while having my period before, don't even know if it's safe?

My Q is would you have done it?

Thanks, I understand that this is a sensitive subject & thank anyone who replies.

[Tam-I-Am]

I think this really IS a very sensitive subject, and don't know that very many people will answer at all. What I will say is this - grossness or not (a matter of personal perception), sex during menstruation is perfectly safe. There is nothing more unsafe about it than sex at any other time between two monogomous partners who know each other's sexual history.

Of course, that might be a different story if it were a one-night-stand. Menstrual blood is still blood and carries the same risks of transmission of blood-borne-illnesses as any other kind of blood.

HTH.

[Shakey]

It is perfectly safe to do while you've got AF,

as for wether you should do it, well its ups to you, personally I can't stand doing it at the beginninf of AF or in the middle of AF, but at the end its fine for me :D

[SorenLorensen]

i prob would not do it, but many people do and there really is not anything wrong with it.


oh and just a little note.....did you know that some people fall pregnant while thay have their period :yes: .......its true......maby something to think about next time:p

[RoarsomeMum]

Hi shy.. Chris was very much the same (as in wanting to dtd for reasons other than TTC) so I made sure that he got plenty of "special attention" in the times we were not BD'ing.. that seemed to help. :yes:
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: hope your bubba is not too far away.

[shymumto1]

Thanks for the responses.

DP has a daughter already that we take care of 100% of the time, she's been with us for 95% of her life & I think of her as being ours not just his & so it took a little while to get him to see it from my perspective, in that although we have her & I think of her as my daughter it isn't entirely that same thing.

He's older & has been through it all before & so it took a little while to convince him & I hate that he thinks I only want him for that reason.

I tried talking to him about how I felt & that as its my body, it was my decision but it turned into an argument & he said he had been with other women who had not had a problem with it. Including his ex. That really hurt.

Don't know where to go from here.

[Butterflies&Hurricanes]

I agree, its perfectly safe to BD whilst AF is visiting! There is nothing wrong with it, although I know many women dont like it. Many probably wont admit to BDing at that time of the month for fear of people thinking its disgusting. But its really down to you and your DP... Its only a bodily fluid afterall.
I personally dont like doing it at the beginning as I get bad cramps and have a very heavy flow (messy) but once its eased I dont have a problem with it.
Before DS was born (I havent had AF since) DH and would BD in the shower to save messing up the sheets :p

[RoarsomeMum]

I tried talking to him about how I felt & that as its my body, it was my decision but it turned into an argument & he said he had been with other women who had not had a problem with it. Including his ex. That really hurt.

Don't know where to go from here.

Oh Hon... Thats a really cruel and unfair thing for him to say. Your NOT his Ex, and what YOU choose to do with your body should be your choice. Grrrrr, Men can be so so useless at expressing their emotions without hurting us...
:hugs: :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[Femme la Phoenix]

:wave: shy mum
Yes I have done it and besides being messy it's actually quiet pleasurable. I have found that it helps heaps with uterine cramping and (TMI but the whole question was to start with) getting clots and heavy bleeding out. I found that my periods became shorter from like 9 days to like 5 or 6.

I wouldn't use good towels though, and would reccommend a plastic sheet layed down first and then a second hand towel or something. Mainly, I did it in the bathroom, doggie style.

If your really grossed out and just don't want to then don't....but at least try it once or twice and give it go then that way your partner be more willing to try things that you want to. I think he's a really sensitive and caring guy, willing to explore new things keeps it exciting :yes:

[sexy_minx]

I dont see a prob in doing it with AF, i mean i know my body and i know i dont clot or have heavy AF's so its never messy doesnt feel any diff to any other time. but its really each to there own, maybe try it if you like it you do, if you doint then dont do it again, i think its pretty safe couldnt see why it isnt other than what someone said few posts about about the stds and stuff but hes your hubby and if your both happy doing it for it if not then maybe work on it! good luck

[Butterflies&Hurricanes]

Thanks for the responses.

DP has a daughter already that we take care of 100% of the time, she's been with us for 95% of her life & I think of her as being ours not just his & so it took a little while to get him to see it from my perspective, in that although we have her & I think of her as my daughter it isn't entirely that same thing.

He's older & has been through it all before & so it took a little while to convince him & I hate that he thinks I only want him for that reason.

I tried talking to him about how I felt & that as its my body, it was my decision but it turned into an argument & he said he had been with other women who had not had a problem with it. Including his ex. That really hurt.

Don't know where to go from here.

All I would say it dont go do it because you feel like you have to. This is something you need to discuss with your DP and get him to understand where you are coming from - you arent his ex so he shouldn't expect you to do something just because she did.

You could always give it a try and if you dont like it, just do other things - sex doesnt have to be all about intercourse. I'm sure your DP wont mind if you suggest other things. Remember, just because AF is visiting doesnt mean all intimacy has to go out the window.

I hope you work things out :hugs:

[No2WhereAreYou]

The only risk with bd during menstruation is infection

[tootiredtosleep]

I don't think that there is anything wrong with this. I did when I was younger and it was never messy or awkward.
Try lots of cuddles and kisses first and see what happens from there.

[Butterflies&Hurricanes]

The only risk with bd during menstruation is infection

Can I ask what kind of infection and why? Sorry, I've just never heard of getting an infection that way - apart from STDs that is but you can get those without AF...

[Butterflies&Hurricanes]

Just wanted to add these links that I found...
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20060728213145AAKXOGX&show=7

http://www.epigee.org/menstruation/sex.html

http://www.io.com/~wwwomen/menstruation/moonlove.html

[No2WhereAreYou]

While we are on a TMI subject, I'd like to add one myself.
I have been checking my cervix, although im not sure if its right! When i thought i was ovulating, it was moist and open in my entire area. but no egg white just clear and slippery.
now its like, "tight".
I am assuming I am "closed" for business? LOL

anyone?

[brollysgirl]

hi,

I have no probs with bding during menstrual cycle (except for right at the beginning or when its too heavy, normally we will do it in the shower, so not too messy.
I actually find I am rather randy about mid cycle!!!!! :yes:

I understand why your hubby may want to, spesh if hes feeling like a sperm bank and that you only want him when your fertile!! had the same issues with my hubby.

If he's not grossed out about it then you shouldnt be either,, but then again, if your comfortable, your not gonna enjoy it.....
each to their own I spose!