Please help.... I'm desperate for some advice

[BaDaBing]

I am devastated and I need some friendly advice.

I have just finished my uni degree (commerce) and have started my CPA which is a post graduate course. The extra qualification it gives is highly expected in my field of work.

The thing is I'm wondering if I am doing the right thing by family and myself by doing this stupid CPA or whether I should just give up and enjoy my family.

Today I drove over to the uni to spend the day in the library studying only to find that it was closed when I got there. I then had to drive all the way back home again, wasting a precious hour of my day :banghead: . Then my sister called in for a visit whom I am so close to and miss dearly since she recently moved away to Sydney, anyway the whole time she was here I found myself wishing she would just go so I could do some study. :crying: I am devastated that I would feel this way.

Then my DH and kiddies came home and I spent the next hour trying to get my 3 yr old to have a sleep as he was off his head tired and then my 1 yr old woke up and put his arms up for a cuddle and I said no mummy has study. This broke his little heart :crying:. This is killing me I don't know what to do.

The other thing that is weighing heavily on my mind is I have studied since DS 1 was born and I have sacrificed so much time with him to study. I want to have another baby but refuse to ttc why I'm studying as I don't want to make any more sacrifices in regards to my babies. To wait means it will be another 3 years before I have my 3rd leaving a huge gap between my DS 2 and baby 3.

My very supportive hubby tells me to keep going and that I can do it but I just don't know.

I'm feeling very emotional atm which isn't helping but I just don't know if I can go on. I just want to be a mummy.

Please help
Sharn :crying:

[Tam-I-Am]

I can't help really - I studied my 4 year degree before my DD was even a twinkle, but had to go on to do 2 year supervised training (kind of like an apprenticeship) to complete my qualifications. I finally, just last month, became fully qualified. DD was conceived in September of 2004 - and its taken me 2 years longer than it should have to get where I thought I was going 8 years ago...

What I can say is this: Having my DD has given me a broader perspective. Instead of being upset or annoyed after a day at work, I come home to the most gorgeous person in the world - my DD....but if I didn't have that perspective - ie if I felt that she was taking my time away from something more important, rather than her BEING the more important thing, I think that would be when I would have to give it away.

I guess it comes down to - what is going to make you happy? And can you find a happy medium - ie plenty of pregnant/new mums study part time while looking after their kids. Is this a possibility? I know that it would lengthen the time of you studying - but is it a good compromise? If not, what else can you do with a commerce degree? Is it going to have been a waste of time if you don't complete the CPA?

I think you have a bit of thinking to do - and some decisions to make.....and I wish you luck with that. I can't imagine its very easy feeling so torn at present. :hugs:

[BaDaBing]

if I felt that she was taking my time away from something more important, rather than her BEING the more important thing, I think that would be when I would have to give it away.

this has really given me something to think about. I really don't want to be a quiter but I don't know if I can be the devoted mummy I want to me and the student I need to be at the same time.

Its just such a hard decision so thanks muchly for your caring words Tam I Am, they have been helpful.

[BaDaBing]

:crying: :gloomy:

[V8]

Studying is a sacrifice i think, definately. I think i am going to defer studies to have more children, i have this year and next year, but will probably be pregnant at the end of this year, so will defer for the second semester next year and go back when i can.

I'm not sure what i'd do if i were you, i hope you figure it out, it's such a hard decision.

[mum23girls]

Is it at all possible to to study part time?

[PunkyDiva]

I'm feeling very emotional atm which isn't helping but I just don't know if I can go on. I just want to be a mummy.

Please help
Sharn :crying:

Just IMO but...
To me these words said it all, you're studies will still be there waiting but you're kids will grow up and move away. Who's not to say when you finish this CPA you will want to go straight back to work because the money you would potentially earns becomes an issue. being a mummy wins out every time for me and sounds like you just need a break to concentrate on that. But again just IMO and big :hugs: sent your way. I know how hard it can be wanting to be you and a mum so very badly until something gives.

[SilverStarfish]

I don't have any advice, but big :hugs: for you. A friend of mine's DH is doing the CPA exams at the moment - that is ONE TOUGH COURSE!!!

Good luck, however you choice to proceed!

[BaDaBing]

I'm feeling a lot better tonight than I was today.

I think I must be PMSing or something, damn I was so emotional today!!

We'll I'm still here at my computer trying to get thru the CPA modules. There is less than a month to go before the exam and then I get 2.5 mnths off before the next module starts. I think what I'll do is have a few extra days off work leading up to exam to alleviate as much stress as possible even though it'll mean less $$$.

This is my first CPA exam so I'll see how difficult it is and make my decision afterwards. My motivation for doing this whole post grad thing is to be financially independent if I ever need to be (unlike my mum) aswell as making our lives as comfortable as can be.

As for the ttc #3 perhaps I will just defer when the time comes. I have a limit of 8 years to have the whole thing completed so I have plenty of time to defer if I want to.

A massive thanks to everyone :hugs:
Happy Easter
xo

[V8]

Glad to hear you are feeling better today, you sound like you still have plenty of time to finish the course if you decide to have another baby in the meantime. :D I think you have valid reasons for studying so don't ever feel bad about wanting to do it, cause i'm sure the main reasons you are doing it is for your family anyways, so noone could argue with that hun! :D Take care and good luck with your studies!