I hate xmas and family's

[Kaileysmum]

Hey guys,

Its offical, I hate xmas after you have a baby. Everyone is fighting about where we go for xmas day. Its so annoying!!!! We've decided to go with my parents as they live 5hrs drive away and they are coming up here for xmas. But now my in-laws are p***d off (sorry about the language) with us, they we're really rude and mean about it. The thing is they dont want to see us its just because they want to see bub and show her off. What can you do? I think you can never win either way. Ill be glad when xmas is over, as for next christmas we arent going anywhere, going to stay home and not answer the door or phone.

Thanks for letting me vent.

E:(

[Mamaduke]

It's the unwritten rule (everyone knows about it!)...
You go to the wifes' family:p for Christmas, Easter and any other holiday you want to mention - it's the rules, no one said it was fair, but it's the rules nonetheless!!;)

[Foxy]

Oh Ewells, I hear you!! :eek:

The thing I keep telling myself is that by this time next week it will all be over!!!

I will be introducing CarlyB's rule for 2006!

Good Luck :)

[Pixie]

ah this is easily solved...do what I did move to another country and shack up with someone who's family doesn't celebrate christmas ta-da :D

sorry I know it's not easy, I have come to the conculsion in life and that's you do what you want to do as a family and if no one else likes it well that's their issue not yours, ZI don't mean outright hurting people but, you have to think about the #1 people in your life and that's your own little family!

[JATS]

We're having trouble to, already vented previously.

click here for link to serious vent about selfish family (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=7663)

We have decided next year we are staying home and having x-mas with our son, if ANYONE wants to see us they can come here (we say that because we know noone will) and we are telling them well in advance so they can't say we sprung it on them at the last minute!

[hummingbird]

It's going to be interesting how we go when our pea comes in April. We live in Sydney and my parents are on the Central Coast (45 mins drive) and DH's in Newcastle (a further 45 mins drive).

I think it's important to ensure that you and your partner agree and are happy with the way you are going to work it and you then both need to stick to your guns. It might be one year with one set and the next year with the others etc.

I honestly don't get the fuss over the first Christmas anyway. I know its the first, but it's not as if your baby knows what's going on. It's more like when they are about 2 years of age that the whole mystery of Santa and presents gives all the adults such joy to share Christmas with a child.

It's a shame they are being rude and mean, actually, it's quite childish. It's not as if you have enough on your plate already without having to please everyone else in the family (which is NEVER going to happen). I think your aggrevation shows that you care enough not to disappoint any one of them which is really lovely.

If it is so important for either set of grandparent to be there on Christmas Day, then they always have the option of going to your house. Althernatively, would it work that one set gets invited to the other's so you can all be together? I understand this could be a little dangerous, but it might work with some.

Family - can't live with them, can't live without them......

[sugar n spice]

I find that my husband wants to stay home even when i offer to spend time with his family for xmas for a change, so in that im lucky as i don't really want to go there for xmas. We just spend it with my family who live 5mins aways and with my sister. My DH family live 4hrs away though we will see them in the new year. MY other idea i used to use is that you alternate each year, which is fair.

[caitsmum]

My mother was diagnosed with cancer at the end of this year and her overall prognisis is very poor. She starts chemo and radiotherapy in the new year. My sister lives three hours away and has decided that she wanted Christmas at her house. Her and her husband are both on five weeks holiday. My husband and I are both working right up to and after christmas. My sister has come down and collected my Mum and Dad and has taken them back to her place. So now it is impossible for me to see my Mum this Christmas. She is my best friend and it will probably be her last Christmas. My three girls also miss out on spending anytime with her. Any other Christmas it wouldn't of been so much of a concern. I don't understand how my sister could do it to me. I would of never ever made it impossible for her to see Mum this Christmas. I don't want to say anything to anyone in my family as I don't want to cause a rift and make it uncomfortable for Mum. Christmas can sure bring out some selfish behaviour. I am just so sad not to be seeing my Mum this Christmas.

Thanks for the ear

Merry Christmas to all

T

[jtk'smum]

I've told my family that as soon as bubs is old enough to know whats going on... we as a family are starting our own traditions for christmas. That way they can fit into what you are doing.....

[hummingbird]

caitsmum,

That shows a real top-class attitude on your behalf and you should be really proud of your values, in terms of not wanting to cause a rift.

You are right, sometime people are just not aware of how their actions are going to affect others, which is more important than ever at Christmas time.

I hope you have a top day with your partner and kids and really enjoy it for what it should be - a day of togetherness and love. You'll have time now in the New Year to really focus on your mum when she needs it most.

Siobhan