New Bub + Toddler - Coping Strategies

[MrsMiggins]

My DH works interstate about once a month for up to a week at a time (although recently it's only been for a few days at most, which has been great!!)

Before we had kids, I loved it. It gave me some time & space to myself. Once we had DD, I struggled a bit at first, but each time he went away it was easier & easier. Before too long, although it was full-on & exhausting, it was no big problem.

Since DS was born, I am finding it really difficult to co-ordinate their routines. DS is usually awake from about 5pm til midnight & wanting to feed pretty much that whole time. DD has been waking early in the mornings, often at the same time as DS. DD has regressed quite a lot with her sleep issues since DS came home & will not go to sleep on her own - she needs to be held until she's asleep, which can on some nights take up to an hour or more.

None of these things poses a huge problem while DH is home. He usually baths DD & puts her to bed while I'm feeding DS & trying to get him to sleep, but I'm very worried about how I'll cope when he goes away! His next trip will probably be in about a fortnight or so - not long!

How have others coped with 2 very demanding children when your partner has been working away?

[Bex]

Up to when my DS 2 was born my partner would be away for up to 6 weeks at a time and maybe home for one.
Luckily know hes not doin that. Though he is workin till after dark most the times. When Ive already delt with the busy time like dinner and feedin and baths. Its so hard u just gotta learn to let one cry usuall DS 2 cause DS 1 I can just put him in the high chair or something but DS 2 eveything takes ages.
My hubby is away for work this weekened.
I have kept DS 1 busy a tired him out so he to tired to fight bed time.
I had ready made meal in the fridge. Well my DH made them.
when Im feedin DS 2 I let DS 1 lay with his head on my leg with his bottle. If he would go to sleep out of his cot I think he would at that stage.
Hope that helps:thumbsup:

[mum33]

i will keep an eye on this thread for coping strategies.

DP works away for about 7-10 days at a time and usually only coming home for 2-3 days in between.

i am having trouble coping with DS anyways and the loneliness is hard also. and i am also pregnant and wondering how i am going to cope alone with a new baby.....

[Bex]

I went through the same thing when I was pregnant with ds 2 As hard as it is u learn to cope.:wave:

[2s'nuff]

You learn to let one cry/scream while dealing with the other.

You also have ready made meals in the freezer and or teach the eldest to like eggs. DD1 has eggs for dinner when I'm having a bad day/time. Some weeks its eggs three/four days running:laughing: .

And a naughty mat. Sometimes it's the only way I can deal with DD1's naughty behaviour.

[EskimoMumma]

You will be able to tune out alot better as well. DP doesn't work away but he works graveyard. So basically he gets to spend 2hours IF THAT with me and the kids and general errands before sleep then work again. So i'm pretty much on my own all the time.

It's extremely hard at first. It can be tough to deal with it alot of the time but as lonig as you relax and concentrate on the kids routines first before cleaning you should be ok. Its also alot easier to make sure the older one is settled. If the older one is constantly wanting your attention because they are hungry or thirsty or bored. Quickly get them a drink, a snack and chuck onthe dvd, this way you are able to deal with the baby without being interupted.. I also suggest with bathtimes, keep it the same, but get the little one bathed first and then the big one. ALl in one tub too makes it alot easier! And also before starting the bedtime routine with the little one, make sure the older one is in bed first. And then a few months later introduce the little one to the older ones routine and yous hould have a winner. But dont expect them to adjust to it so easily. Make way for mistakes and tantrums...

Maybe some earplugs?:detective:

I hope this helps:hugs:

[MrsMiggins]

Thanks for the tips. I guess things would be much easier if DD hadn't regressed so much with her sleeping. Most nights we're lucky to have her in bed by 10pm!

Housework is not really an issue. I mean it stresses me out when the place is a pigsty, but if I can't get to it, I can't get to it.

DH has been flat out busy this week, so it's almost as though he's been away anyway. I've been very lucky though that he's around for bedtimes & that in the mornings when he's not here, DS has been waking early for a feed (around 4-5 am) then going back down by 7. DD has coincidentally been waking up the second I put him back down!! So good timing for co-ordinating the two of them, but it just means mummy is very tired!! :sleeping: