View Full Version : Did your DP ask your Dad for permission?
Just curious as to whether or not your DP asked your Dad for permission to marry you...
Mine did and he said he was really nervous lol! I don't know why coz my whole family loves him hehe.
So whats your story...?:D
poshBecks
05-04-2007, 14:36
He sure did :thumbsup:
When DH pulled up in the driveway when I was at work. My Dad knew exactly why he was there :laughing:
PunkyDiva
05-04-2007, 14:41
I always think that's so respectful when i read stories like that.
But in our case we already had a child and my father prob would have said no anyway. I had the fairytale wedding instead.
mysonroger
05-04-2007, 14:42
my DH did too. he had to keep going up to mum and dad's all day because they weren't home. by the time he got them, i worked out what was going on, and hunted through the house for the ring. even though i had picked the ring to be made from a picture, i hadn't seen it in real life yet.......so i wanted to check it out. naughty, i know!
Mybabble
05-04-2007, 14:43
We were just talking about that last night!
He asked my dad for permission and said it was the hardest thing he has ever had to do:laughing:
The poor thing.......my dad isnt even scary.:rolleyes:
Mummaof2
05-04-2007, 14:50
My ex asked both my parents for their permission. Not that it makes it difference now but it meant alot back then when we got engaged.
We already had a baby, but my husband rung and asked my dad anyway. (He lives in a different state)
MissSparkle
05-04-2007, 15:04
Yeah my DF and my dad went out to the club for dinner and dad knew that DF was going to ask.
My DH asked my father. We were going overseas on holiday and he wanted to propose to me whilst we were away. He also asked my mum as well. I know my parents really appreciated him asking and they respected him for it.
What I can't believe is that my parents knew and were able to keep it a secret from me.
I guess I'm old fashioned and I was pretty touched that he'd "done the right thing" so to speak.
punkbaby
05-04-2007, 15:06
Sort of, dh and i already kids, he rang up my dad and said i am thinking i might marry your daughter...that was it lol
Aquamarine
05-04-2007, 15:08
Yes my hubby asked my parents without me knowing!
Dad said he has never seen a person sweat so much!
Funkychicken
05-04-2007, 15:09
Sure did! I was in the lounge room at mum and dads and DP went into the kitchen and asked my dad, who replied, "No, you can't have her, she's mine."
Poor DP didn't know what to do until Dad cracked a smile and said of course he could 'have my hand' in marriage.
I think my dad was pretty pleased about DH doing this the proper way.
My dad wasn't in my life.....so my dh asked my mum...lol. She thought it was very nice of him :yes:
BigweeBigwee
05-04-2007, 15:26
Yes, my husband drove 2 hours to ask my Dad.
I think my Dad replied something to the effect of "about time, she's all yours, take her!"
I was so surprised when I went to call my parents to tell them the good news, they already knew!
SassyMummy
05-04-2007, 15:26
I'm not engaged or anything, but I've made it clear to DP that I wouldn't appreciate it if he asked my father for his permission.
I think that for some people it's a nice thing, but I, personally, don't like the idea of it. I like to think of my own person, to make my own decisions and I don't like the idea of my father being asked for permission... as though I'm his possession to give away. I don't see it as a sign of respect... but rather a sign of DISRESPECT to me.
I think it's nice when some people do it... because to them, and their family, it means something lovely. It's just not something I'D appreciate.
nope he didn't ask dad... he asked my mum!! hehe
Heck no! We'd been living together for nearly 6 years, been together nearly 9 and had a baby on the way. He didn't need to ask permission and I told him I'd kill him if he did! I wanted our engagement to be a surprise to my p''s and not have them know already.
KarniF00l
05-04-2007, 16:43
DH asked my dad, mum and brother :D
He made sure if it was okay.. especially after the ex that i had before DH. I thought it was kinda sweet.
oleander
05-04-2007, 16:47
My ex asked my dad and my dad said "no, come back and ask me in another 6 months time". Dad was definately not joking:no: We are talking about a strict Italian father here...my dad's pretty tough.
Dad said no because we had only been together 6 months and thought it was too soon which it was. The ex is the type of person who likes to rush into things without thinking.
We ended up getting engaged about a year after that episode and he didn't ask my dad again. Can't remember why.
Dad is always right:thumbsup:
Cordelia
05-04-2007, 16:51
Dh never asked my Dad for permission and it's a running family joke that our marriage is a fraud because Dad never "gave my hand" so to speak...
bronny-jane
05-04-2007, 17:30
hell no:thumbsdown: ... i even had in my ceremony the line... as a women is not an object or possession to be given or taken i only ask if she has come here of her own free will:thumbsup:
no he didnt.. i actually wanted him to tho coz it wouldve meant alot to my dad.
dp's response was like 'you say yes if you want to.. not if your dad wants you to'
i can see his point but it wouldve been nice anyway!
he sure did, my dad always joked no-one asks for my daughtershand in marriage without buying me a carton of crownies and a packet of tim tams, it was priceless seeing my dads face when in comes steve with the beer and tim tams :D
he did propose to me first thou
vanillabean
05-04-2007, 18:57
Yep, I was really surprised actually.
Nope,dont talk to my dad.
I kinda agree with what SassyMummy said.
iluvmeboyz
05-04-2007, 20:34
mine would have but my dad passed away 10 yrs ago this month
I'm not engaged or anything, but I've made it clear to DP that I wouldn't appreciate it if he asked my father for his permission.
I think that for some people it's a nice thing, but I, personally, don't like the idea of it. I like to think of my own person, to make my own decisions and I don't like the idea of my father being asked for permission... as though I'm his possession to give away. I don't see it as a sign of respect... but rather a sign of DISRESPECT to me.
I think it's nice when some people do it... because to them, and their family, it means something lovely. It's just not something I'D appreciate.
I have to agree with ya Stacey!! Nice for others, not for me!
Natsmummy
05-04-2007, 21:39
DH asked my Dad who said "Yes, but I'm not really the one you should be asking". So then he had to ask my Mum too! The next day we went on holidays to Noosa and he proposed when we were having a walk on the beach at sunset.
EskimoMumma
05-04-2007, 21:42
DH asked my dad, mum and brother :D
He made sure if it was okay.. especially after the ex that i had before DH. I thought it was kinda sweet.
That was the most beautiful scene I'd ever seen as well. Straight out of the movies.:hugs:
My DH told my Mum he wanted to ask me. But he didn't exactly ask for "permission".
KarniF00l
06-04-2007, 09:34
That was the most beautiful scene I'd ever seen as well. Straight out of the movies.:hugs:
Oh shucks :o I almost forgot that you witnessed that.
Coffin Cheater
06-04-2007, 12:30
Yes he asked my father, and I expect the same for when our kids get engaged.
SamanthaJane
06-04-2007, 12:47
If i ever do get married, i don't want my dp to ask... I just find it odd... to me it's like he has to ask permission because my dad "owns" me or something? It's hard to explain, but yeah, it's just not for me.
My sister's partner has made it clear he will be asking my dad though.
mumofcaleb
06-04-2007, 12:52
I'm not engaged or anything, but I've made it clear to DP that I wouldn't appreciate it if he asked my father for his permission.
I think that for some people it's a nice thing, but I, personally, don't like the idea of it. I like to think of my own person, to make my own decisions and I don't like the idea of my father being asked for permission... as though I'm his possession to give away. I don't see it as a sign of respect... but rather a sign of DISRESPECT to me.
I think it's nice when some people do it... because to them, and their family, it means something lovely. It's just not something I'D appreciate.
Took the words right out of my mouth!
LittleBoysRock
06-04-2007, 13:20
No, my dad was the last in the family to find out I was getting married. My Dad couldnt understand why I was marrying DH and wasnt at all supportive.
MummyCharmzy
06-04-2007, 14:51
mine did :D I think its so sweet:D
We already have 4 children combined but he still asked lol
my df asked my mum as i my dad isn't in my life.... i was stoked
Mister Noodle
06-04-2007, 19:15
I didn't.
Didn't have the opportunity, wouldn't even if I had.
It's her decision, and nobody else's.
Ange&Seth
06-04-2007, 19:21
I don't like the idea of my father being asked for permission... as though I'm his possession to give away.
I can see where you're coming from with this SassyMummy, but the reason the whole tradition started was because (a long time ago :D ) girls WERE their fathers possessions.
Ever wondered why you're supposed to take your husbands surname when you get married? Because when you're born, you're the property of your father and have his surname. When you get married, you become the property of your husband and hence take his surname.
So, I guess because of this, it was just polite to ask the father if you could make one of HIS possessions one of YOUR possessions KWIM??
(Not saying that I believe I'm my father's possession until I get married, but that's how the tradition started)
ETA - This is also the reason that someone (usually the father or father figure) walks a bride down the aisle and 'gives her away'.
Ange&Seth
07-04-2007, 09:48
Aren't I just a regular thread killer then :laughing:
Mum&bubs
07-04-2007, 09:58
Oh no your not! :p
Anyways Karl did ask my dad. I thought it was quite funny but I always said to Karl if he wanted to marry me he had to ask my dad first. Even if dad said 'no' I'd marry him anyways :D
He asked my dad and my dad's reply was:
" You didn't ask me if you could have kids with her, why would you ask this"
Oh my poor DF! He must have been so embarrassed. My dad quickly said 'I like ya mate, go ahead' :D
ETA- My dad has so much more respect for my DF than my sister's just because he asked!
TeamAwesome
16-04-2007, 09:58
My parents weren't a part of my life so no my DH didn't ask.
I also walked down the aisle on my own to as I wasn't being given away as I'm not owned by any one.
reAllytee
16-04-2007, 10:12
DP wouldve had a hard time doing so considering my dad died 8yrs ago .......
Yup.. My DH is a traditional country boy. He put together a BBQ in the park so my little sis and brother could play and then we went back to our house for dessert and he sat in the lounge room with my mum and dad while I was washing the dishes and he asked him.. But he didnt just ask him he gave the reason why when he asked him like "he loves me" wants to look after me etc etc.. My dad said yes ofcourse and they work together have done for the past 5 years they even drive into work together. Its really good because my dad is very loving and my DH had an abusive dad. So they have there little chit chat about problems etc. Just like father and son.
chameleon
16-04-2007, 10:37
Same here allyoo... he died 8 years ago, so no he didn't... although I don't think he would've anyway.
yep he did and my daddy cried cause he was so happy:hugs:
Surprisingly he did, I didnt think he would. In the week before he took my Dad aside (at a weekly family dinner) and asked him for permission. Dad swore to secracy but then blabed to Mum! So they both knew he was going to propose just they didnt know when exactly... it was that coming weekend that he did.
It was very sweet (and a fantastic proposal). Valentine
dreamer80
16-04-2007, 19:25
Yes, my DH asked my Father permission to marry me; the often-played golf together so, he asked him after a round of golf while they were having lunch/brunch together one Sunday morning…and my Father said yes…yay! :smiliedance:
He says that he wasn’t that nervous as he got along well with my farther and was confident he would say yes!
ifoundmyglory
16-04-2007, 20:46
Sure did, i think he took dad a little by suprise.
But of course dad said yes:D .
bubbasmum
16-04-2007, 21:59
No. My DH didnt ask for my dads permission. I didnt really care but my dad was offended. it didnt really worry me at all but. I figured that DH wanted to marry me and i am a big girl i can make my own decisions.:yes: I also walked down the isle on my own as well as my parents didnt come to my wedding as they couldnt afford the trip.
Mum2Monster
09-05-2007, 08:20
Mine asked my mum & my dad. Mum cried and dad appartently had a goofy smile on his face and said yes. And then laughed at DF coz he was white and shaking! haha
My DP asked my Mum & Dad in front of me when we were home for my Mums 50th Birthday :)
our little treasures
05-09-2007, 20:53
My dh asked my dad Valentine Dad being irish said that he could have me with no return to sender:laughing:
It was very hard for dh he was very nervous and yet my dad is shy
mumzdaword
05-09-2007, 20:57
my ex asked but im not engaged yet to this one and not sure if i ever will be.....
DF rang my dad to ask if we could come round for a BBQ one Sunday then asked him to come into the kitchen. 5 minutes later my dad is rushing outside crying on my shoulder wishing me all the happiness in the world. I think he shook DF's hand about a million times that day. My dad respects DF soooooo much for doing it the way he did.
ETA he must've spoken to my mum because she was involved in the great 'proposal suprise'
Nope
I'm glad he didnt. Getting married was my decision nothing to do with my dad.
Not a fan of that old tradition
jaydensmum
05-09-2007, 22:20
My Dh did ask my dad for permission.:yes: It was actually quite strange cause my dad and i werent getting along that well back then, but my dh wanted to do the right thing! :D
declansmum
05-09-2007, 22:25
Yep!!! He sure did:yes:
A Party of Five
06-09-2007, 08:29
No, I don't talk or see my father at all!
I think because I was 27 DH did not think that he had to ask my Mum.
RoarsomeMum
06-09-2007, 08:33
Hubby SMS messaged my dad with "Em siad yes to marrying me, and I did not have to knock her up or anything!!!!" It was soooo funny! (though, little did we know how long it would take for the knocking up!!! def no question this bubs was born in wedlock! LOL!)
Noah_and_Elijah
06-09-2007, 08:33
No and it doesn't bother me that he didn't either. He spoke to him about it in open conversations before hand so they knew it was on the cards but he didn't ask his 'permission' as such.
Yeah my DH rang my dad and asked him for my hand. Dad was like, yeah no worries, no need to ask me!!!
:laughing: :laughing: :no:
Mamalicious
06-09-2007, 10:46
My DH and Dad haven't even met!
When we got married Dad said to Mum on the phone "Bl00dy well would've liked to meet the bloke first" :laughing:
Nope.
Dad didn't take me seriously when I kept saying.. "I've met this guy! He's really great. I want you to meet him."
he was like: "Well you just keep your head in your study Gret... I'll meet him later on." :rolleyes:
So when we were engaged 3 weeks later and Dad (finally) invited us out to lunch so he could meet Carlo.
He said (to Carlo): Don't you feel like you've offended the family by not meeting us first.
DH: No.. why would I, I'm not marrying you. I'm marrying Gretel and she's agreed.
Dad: Don't you think you're a bit old for her.
DH: No offence, but your wife looks a fair bit younger than you (Dad's 3rd wife is 17 years younger than him... that shut him up.. lol)
So no... DH didn't ask permission. He doesn't feel like he had to, neither do I. If my Dad had been more supportive of my relationship to start with I would have asked DH to ask for not 'permission' coz I'm not my Father's 'property' to be given... I make my own decisions... but 'approval' would have been nice :yes:
:yes: yes, and my Mum, my sister and two brothers. I guess he wanted to cover all bases:laughing:
Dh didn't but I wish he did. I think it's kinda romantic :o
jess_live_die
07-09-2007, 10:07
nope mine didnt
i dont mind and my dad dosent mind.
FunkyMonkey
07-09-2007, 10:18
My ex asked for permission from my Dad. I thought it was sweet, as he wasn't the outgoing type. (read as saying, he really didn't talk much at all.)
My DF hasn't met my father and isn't likely to any time soon, he proposed without permission just after DS was born.
Just a random thought, but since I had my ex's surname when DF proposed, should he have asked my ex?? :detective: Hmmmm Interesting.:laughing::laughing:
my husbnd asked my mum and dad first, my mum was so happy that he did that she thought it was lovely
I'd been with DH for 7.5yrs when he proposed to me and we told both sets of parents that we were getting married (which we did 6 days later!!).
No DH didn't ask my dad for permission or my hand in marriage, nor did my dad 'give me away' or walk me down the aisle. Not sure if its the feminist in me or just that I'm a modern independent woman, but I would find it offensive. I'm not my father's possession and he has no right to give nor deny permission for me to enter into marriage (unless of course legally, if I was under 18). For the record, he would of said yes, but it was my decision, no one elses. Its very old fashioned, patriarchial, paternalistic and traditionally is meant to be in place of a proposal to the intended.
So if your DH got permission from your dad, why then did he need to ask you at all?
I can understand him telling your parents or loved ones beforehand, before he proposes..........but asking permission?? To me it just seems absurd? Especially if you've been living together or have kids already.
Hokey Pokey
07-09-2007, 15:40
Yep my DH did... didn't suprise my parents though.. they were expecting her would lol!
CharlisMummy
07-09-2007, 16:21
Yes my DH did. He asked my dad the morning we were leaving for the holiday which he proposed on. Looking back now, I thought my dad was looking at me funny at the airport!
He told the story of how DH followed him around all morning like a puppy waiting for the right moment in his father of the bride toast! DH didn't know at the time but my dad was trying to hide DH's birthday present from him but he just kept following him around!
Mum couldn't believe that dad kept it from her :laughing:
I think it shows a lot of respect to ask :yes:
we'd been together 7 years already so everyone knew we would get married but I still think its lovely Valentine
RosssSarah
10-09-2007, 08:55
My fiance asked my mother and father! Dad was impressed that he was asked! Was sweet!
I'm not sure whether he did or not :detective: Will have to ask him!
Yes DF asked my dad only last week! and proposed last Friday!!:smiliedance:
Dad was so happy and proud that he was asked, so was I. Made it that little bit more special.
melfunction
10-09-2007, 12:26
Just curious as to whether or not your DP asked your Dad for permission to marry you...
No. We don't need anyone's permission and I am really pleased he didn't.
Congrats Sasa!!! :smiliedance: :hugs:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.9 Copyright © 2012 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.