providing support

[jessica]

Hi,

I suggested a forum on Controlled crying to hopefully provide support and advice to those in the middle of trying CC or thinking about trying CC. I know this has been touched on in the sleeping/settling forum but this CC forum is for POSITIVE views/support/advice/stories on CC. Alot of people are against CC for many reasons and that's fair enough but the aim here was to try and keep this a positive forum for helping babies (and mums) sleep on their own!

Well this is my little ones third week of CC. My little one USED to sleep through the night from about 7.30pm to about 3am after I rocked/patted/sung her to sleep (sometimes taking up to an hour!) until about a month ago! Then it all collapsed! At about 5months old she started waking almost hourly - not necessarily hungry but just awake and screaming!! I took her to see a doctor, all was fine, I spoke to friends wth kids and to my CHN - they all suggested CC - I thought it wasn't for us because my little one is a hysterical screamer not a crier! I hated hearing my baby cry for any length of time so decided I couldn't do it!!

But then as I started to lose more sleep, lose weight and feel utterly exhausted I decided we had to try!!

Three weeks later... my little one is putting herself to sleep as I type, no 1 hour rocking session, a little grizzle here are there but she'll now sleep till somewhere between 3-5am for her first feed!! We are both much happier and rested!! Even her daytime sleeps have improved from 30minute catnaps to 2hour sleeps!! We still have bad sleeps with about 10-15minutes of crying but then she's asleep, sometimes she wakes in the middle of a sleep but only cries for about 2-3min and then she puts herself back to sleep... it can only get better... and yes hearing her cry for those 2-3minutes STILL breaks my heart but I know its for the best!

I hope to hear others success stories, problems, advice...

Jessica
A rested mum and a happy sleeping baby!!

P.S Did anyone see the Ten news tonight with Brisbanes Baby Whisperer? She teaches CC but charges $50-70 an hour!! Interesting!

[Ivy-Rose]

Hello Jessica,
I'm glad you took the plung. My first was like that and I tried controlled crying but I read about it. I didn't quite have it right and two weeks later we still hadn't got anywhere. I went to the CHN and watched a video. It was something so small but that I was doing that prevente it from working. I went home and within 48hrs Samuel was going to sleep on his own day and night and sleeping through. Like your little one his day sleeps went from naps to 2hrs+ most of the time. Like everyone though there was the odd bad day or night. I was so glad I did it.
My second child I had no problems with sleeping thank goodness. But I now have another bub and she is worse than ever. I know I created her as it was quicker to get her to sleep on my lap and put her down so I could tend to the other two. I have been saying to myself I will do CC next week but never do. She got a cold and she is just about over it. I am going to see the same CHN I saw 5 years ago to watch the video and get advice again as I have forgotten the exactly what to do. I am so looking forward to having a more happy rested bub and no bags under my eyes.
You didn't say how old your bub is. Samuel was 10mths when I did it. Ivy-Rose is only 61/2mths so young which is one reason I keep putting it off, but I have realised I am going to colapse from tiredness soon and as I have two others 5 yrs and 3yrs I need to get my energy back to be fair to them.
Emma

[jessica]

Hi Emma,

I just have to start by saying 'WE' had a great sleep last night - she had her immunisations yesterday and I thought we'd be in for a shocker but she slept 'like a baby'!! I read in books that you shouldn't try CC until 6months, we started about a week before she hit 6 months - I wanted to wait but I had reached breaking point!! My CHN said you can (she said SHOULD!) start at 5months - I wouldn't try it any earlier, theyre too little and precious!

We followed the book "How to solve your child's sleeping problem" by Dr Richard Ferber (suggested by my doctor). From what I've heard from others it's really important to be strong - its so easy to just quickly pop in and give a cuddle when they're crying but this just confuses them! I guess it's not easy for either baby or mum/dad but definetly worth it in the long run.. like you said an exhauted mum is no good for anyone!! Motherhood seems draining enough as it is - we need all the rest we can get, I want to be rested and HAPPY for every precious moment I can share with my little one!

I'm hoping our next little one will be a better sleeper.. maybe some experienced mums have some tips on how to encourage good sleeping from an early age so that CC isn't needed in the end? How you can resist cuddling a little baby to sleep though? I still miss this but I know I've done the right thing for both of us!

Jessica

[Taylor & Lachlans Mummy]

I have used CC on both my children & find it works, but it does take stength & will power. My youngest can through a full tantrum at bed time with no tears at all so he has been the hardest to use it on. But my eldest it has worked with out a problem. For some it works & others it doesnt but no one should say it is a form of abuse ( I have heard people being told this not on here but in another group im in a membership was terminated for telling another mum she was abusing her child) we all have our own opinion. I say what ever works for your child use it. So I am a backer of controlled crying :)

[vickster]

Hi Jessica, Emma & Taylor & Lachlan's Mummy,

I am so glad everything is going well with your little one. This subject does seem to be a bit of a taboo, doesn't it? :eek: I guess there are much worse things that we could be doing to our children.

Charlotte (5m) & I had our first day of cry-free sleeps ALL DAY, on Monday!! Not so much as a whimper. She just chatted to herself for a few minutes, then fell asleep!! I am so proud of her.

After her initial tired signs, I've been letting her stay up for an extra 10 mins and that seems to help lessen the 'crying/grzzling' period.

I am only a little concerned that she is starting to go to sleep on her tummy and smoosh her face into the mattress. But she inevitably ends up the other end of the bed at some stage, so I guess that's ok.

All in all I'd say we are definately doing the right thing and a FANTASTIC job. :) We deserve a BIG pa on the back!!

Vicki & Charlotte :D

[jessica]

Hi Emma and Jillian,

My little one had her immunisations on Monday - so these couple of days are generally grizzly ones for her (she's the ultra sensitive type like her mum!!) - I have to admitt I've caved in for the first time in 3 weeks of CC and picked her up for a cuddle in these past 2 days!! I just feel bad that she may have a sore leg (big bruises poor little thing!) and need comforting!!

anyway my question to anyone who has used CC is when or do they ever stop crying before bed? My angel can sometimes have no tears at all, sometimes only a couple of minutes and on bad nights up to 15 minutes (I hate these nights!)... it's been three weeks now... Of course it's been getting better and better these past 3 weeks but I'm wondering when did your little one really settle into peaceful bedtime drop offs?

Jessica


Just saw your entry Vicki - Hi! How long have you been doing CC for? Don't you love those cry free sleeps!!

[jodiew12]

Hi all,

It was interesting reading this thread. I have 6 month old twins. My little girl Chelsea started ti sleep through the night at 3 months but in the last month has decided she does not like to sleep at night and wakes and cries constantly. My husband and I are going stir crazy as we are not getting any sleep. My son Dylan is a wonderful sleeper. Up until last weekend the bubs shared a room but I got tired of having two awake and unsettled bubs so we took the plunge and arranged separate rooms for them. At least now when Chelsea is up all night Dylan continues to sleep through. We have tried everything and I know the only thing left is controlled crying, but every time I start her cries just escalate she is not one to cry herself to sleep or settle herself. The longest I have lastest befor going into her is 15 minutes. I guess I am scared of even more sleepless nights if we really commit to the controlled crying.
Jodie

[Taylor & Lachlans Mummy]

The CC on Taylor with her sleeping worked with in a few weeks. But Lachlan I am still perserviring after months & months. He still carries on when you put him to bed. He could be tired as & will still cry. He will gererally cry for about 15mins then because I havent gone back in he will either go to sleep or talk & play quitely. He is slowly getting better.
cuddles when crying after immunisations are still allowed with controlled crying. I still do that with both of mine, but that is a different cry to the normal winge of Im not going to bed.
Jodie, perservere with the CC she will realise that no one is coming & will soon let up (hopefully) also try a soft night light & a few chewable books in her cot so when she wakes up she has something to keep her entertained & she will tire herself at. It may be harder at first but she knows someone will come in & when no one does the crying will get louder & harder but that will soon stop.
As I was once told a child can controll the world from thier cot one little wimper & everything stops for them.
Hope sucess to everyone

[jessica]

Dear Jodie,

I know how hard it is to listen to your little one cry - trust me - he's in the cot know having a cry but I know she will very soon be asleep and sleep well through the night, knowing this dosen't make it any easier to hear her but consoles me knowing that it the best thing for her!!

I think the only way to try is to give it a real go - probably hard when your other little one is sound asleep! I didn't think it would work for my little one as she has always fought sleep even when rocked in my arms for up to an hour!! surprisingly after just one night she slept through till about 4am!! Start with five minute intervals, go in, don't pick her up just a quick pat and soothing words, leave after 2 minutes even if she's still crying, wait another 10 minutes, go in for no more than 2 minutes, wait another 15 minutes, go in... keep going in at 15 min intervals, it took us two 15 minute intervals the first night (so all up about 1 horrible hour! I won't lie!!)...

Sounds like Chelsea stoppped sleeping through just like my little one did at the same age - apparently they reach a new level of awareness at this age!
I have been reassured by many medical professionals that this won't harm your baby - it just breaks your heart!! BUT IT IS WORTH IT IN THE END!!

Good Luck, let us know how you go...

[Ivy-Rose]

Hi all,
I agree when bub is sick or had immunisation a cuddle is the right thing. There is a difference between sick and fighting the sleep.
I am about to take the plunge with my little Ivy-Rose she is nearly 7mths now and I am that tired that I can hardly stand today. I ended up getting my mum to leave work early to let me have some sleep. So I really have to make the break.
It will be hard as she is a real fighter.
But I have watched the video again at the local Child Health. It was so good to see. If you haven't seen it guys and you are reluctant to do CC or if you have been trying for a few weeks but things aren't getting any better then ask to watch this video as it helped me when I did this with Samuel, it wasn't working it was something I was or wasn't doing quite right.
So watch out I might be very stressed in the next week or so, I might really need strenght from you all. I will keep you posted as to how we are going.
Gald you are all getting better sleep or on the track to getting it.
Emma.

[vickster]

Hi Emma and all,

Good luck with your next cc mission! The sooner you take the plunge, the better - apparently it can be harder with older babies - you sound like you need the sleep too! ;). If you can, get a hold of the book 'Sleep Right, Sleep Tight' by Rosey Cummings. It has a great section for 6-12mo babies and a modified controlled settling tecnique.

We are going fantastic with our sleeping! Sometimes Charlotte will wake during the night and I just leave her to roll around the bed a few minutes (she doesn't wake crying). Usually she will talk to herself a couple of times and then go back to sleep.

Her 6m needles are coming up in the next fortnight.. :eek: .....wish me luck!!

Talk to you soon,

Vicki

[Ivy-Rose]

Hi Vicki,
So glad to hear you and bub are going really well with the CC. Well she isn't CC any more by the sopunds of it. I am so happy for you and her. :)
We are going well. Ivy-Rose still has her moments and tonight is one of them.
I have been getting a full nights sleep for the past 5 days and loving it.
Thanks for you kind words. Oh and yes it does seem like some people think we are abusing our bubs or something like that, but I'd rather my bub cry a little before she went to sleep than my friends and family reading the news paper on how a sleep deprived mother of three crashed her car on the way home from a play at the park.
My sound drastic to some but I was on that track as I had tried co sleeping and she woke more than ever. I tried patting and rocking only for her to wake and want more not long after she was put down. I tried many other ways too.
The straw that broke the camels back was last week when I was driving home from Ikea only 20 minutes away I could hardly keep my eyes open, I had to pull over and sleep for 15 minutes. Yes sleep on the side of the M1 with bub in the car and ended up being late to pre-school to pick up my 5yr old and I didn't notice I was late till I walked in and he was all alone with the teacher. I the look on his face and when he said mummy I thought you were lost you didin't answer your phone. So I say sod these people that put us CC mothers down. Don't do it here and go and post a positive post some where. :mad:

Sorry for the ramble it wasn't intended it just happened.
I was going to delete it but I think some people may need to see that CC is a last resort for most. Cause really who wants to hear their baby cry by choice.

Emma :)

[jessica]

Hi Emma,

So glad to hear your finally getting some much needed sleep.. gets scary wthout it dosen't it!! I was pretty peeved to read the post about 'letting your baby cry is against a mother's natural instincts!'.... of course I don't like to hear my baby cry - it breaks my heart everytime and probably always will.. but when it comes down to it, a good sleep is what baby and I both need - crave for!! I'd hate to think that someone thinks just because I do CC it means I love my baby any less - I'm doing the ONLY thing that has worked for us... I envy mums whose babies have always slept through, and I support mums who co-sleep - but for my little one this was our only option left before we all went insane!!

My little angel is doing alot better, minimal to no crying now and were both much happier - we also still have our moments - like just now (she was overtired!)- but all in all CC works for us...

Wishing you and Ivy-Rose sweet dreams, ;)

[evike]

I just wanted to say that I was against control crying very much. My husband suggested to try it long time ago but always said no saying that is why I am here to confort my baby and not let her to cry. She is 6 month old.

I did not mind that I had to rock her to sleep every night but lately it is getting harder and harder as she is getting havier.

So I decided to give it a go. I attended sleep classes and I had a nurse at my home for the first time of trial to have some support.

And the outcome was very suprising. My baby fall asleep within 15 minitues. For the first time!!!! Very good I said.
And at night it was only 4 minutes and she was asleep in her cot. I could not beleive it.
Since she is going to sleep without my help, sleep a couple of hours during the day and I have to say that I am very happy.
I wisH I tried CC earlier!!!!!
:) :) :) :)
evike

[razzle]

I wanted to try CC but was too scared. I was rocking Eloise to sleep every night, which didn't really bother me unless I was tired too, or if she was fighting sleep and being a pain in the neck!

About a week ago, she just would not fall asleep no matter how hard I tried, singing, rocking, bouncing, humming, :rolleyes: I tried everything. In complete frustration I put her down in her cot, kissed her and said goodnight and walked out, shutting the door behind me. She cried for about 30 seconds - literally - and slept through 'til the next morning. At first I thought it was a fluke, but I've done it the past 5 nights now and everytime she just goes to sleep. Last night she didn't even cry, just put her head down and closed her eyes.

She did the same thing when I was thinking about weaning her out of the wrap - she fought it a couple of times while I tried to wrap her, obvioulsy telling me she didn't want it anymore, and slept without it from that moment on.

I'm thinking that now she's telling me that she doesn't want to be rocked anymore, that she's quite capable of going to sleep by herself.

I'm now hoping she does the same thing with her dummy - just spits it out when I least expect it!! :p

[vickster]

Hi Guys,

Just wanted to see how everyone was going with sleeping? Charlotte has been VERY aggitated going to bed the last 2 nites & I know it's because of her teeth.

She keeps stuffing both hands in her mouth. We had to give her panadol & bonjella to ake the edge off her pain on the first night, then last night & tonight I gave her a 'teething relief' remedy which seemed to work ok.

The only way I could settle her in the meantime for her last 2 sleeps, was to very quietly & slowly sing 'This Old Man' to her (it's her favourite song!) & breathed heavy on her behind her ear.

I'd love to hear any other suggestions.

Sweet Dreams Everyone!! ;)

[Ivy-Rose]

Hi there,
Gee I have not many ideas to get through teething. Maybe a washer to chew on or you could tape yourself singing her song over and over and pay it back.
As for blowing behind her ear. I have no ideas. I know my bub sometimes likes the fan goingon her full force and she is only7 mths. She loves being in the cold. ( Just like her mum, I could live in a freezer)
Good luck
Cheers Emma :)

[jessica]

Hi Vicki,

My little one is still teething (I think - who knows!! :eek: ) and like Emma suggested I've found giving her a washer (or as my husband calls it - a chew rag!) to go to bed with gives her something to suck, chew and play with as she settles down - this has worked pretty well (not a 100% solution of course!)... to tell you the truth I'm wondering if she is teething or maybe just reached a new level of alertness? We had visitors stay this weekend and her sleep was off for the two nights they stayed!! Now that they left she had a normal nights sleep!! They must be so perceptive to even the slightest change in routine!!

Our latest battle is 'bed acrobatics'!!! She has just started to discover the art of moving!! (always been a little lazy in this respect!!) - she does the 90 degree turn to have one leg out the cot rails and the other mounted on top! Or the 180 degree turn to be down the other end of the cot facing the other way or the 45 degree turn to be fetus postion in the corner of the cot!! So getting to sleep now takes a little longer as she manouvers her way around the cot!!

Sleep well everyone! ;)

[H&B'sMum]

What a positive thread this is and how wonderful it is to read mother's supporting each other and giving encouragment.
Well done everyone.

I have used CC on Harry from when he was about 3 months (I know the thing about 6 months but yeah I needed sleep). He was fine to go down at night and very rarly cried then but his day sleeps were a different matter. So we tried it and after only 2 sleep (1 whole day) he got the hang of it.
We still have the occassional fight and cry but now after no more than 15 mins he's asleep. Usually I put him down now during the day and he has a sing to himself and off he goes.
Lately he has changed his night time routine. 10 days ago he weaned himself off the breast. Woke up one morning and that was it didn't want it. So now I have had to change how I put him to bed. Before it was bath, bf, bed. Now we have milk (try to get him to drink it), bath then bed. We have had to let him grizzle again for about 5 mins but then he's off. Last night and the night before he didn't even grizzle off he went, so hopfully he is back into his normal routine.

I believe that mother's do whatever is best for their family and other mothers should never critise their decisions. Motherhood is hard enough without coping abuse from other mums.

This thread is a wonderful example of how mother's can support and help each other through our journey. Hope your little ones are all doing well and all the mums are getting sleep.

[traceysmith]

Hi all

I am first time user to this site. In desperation I have turned to the internet as I have been having the CC debate - to do it or not I have read everyone's comment and am grateful that I am not alone. The CHN was harsh with me and said I had no choice but to do it.

My bub is 4mths old and we have been rocking, patting etc and she will only sleep in our arms and in our bed, to date I don't think she has spent one night in her bed. She sleeps in our bed for 8hrs per night without waking - however we want our bed back.

Today is second day of CC - first day I caved so started again today my husband was home so it was a lot easier but he also caved.

I was interested to see (jessica) mention the baby whisperer and the price she charged - I thought this was expensive. I live in Brisbane and we have a place called Riverton where you can go to the day clinic to sort out sleep problems - if all else fails this is where I will end up.

Once again I am so glad to read any tips anyone else has.

Tracey

[jessica]

Hi Tracey,

I saw the baby whisperer thing on the Channel Ten news I think?? Personally I think youre better off just reading a FREE book from the library (that's what I did!).. I think she would basically just be a firm person to stop you from caving in!! I live in Brisbane and I went to a day stay at Chermside to try and help my little one sleep - they did a form of controlled crying where you rock the cot to calm them - it worked there but not at home!! So I went back to the old 1hr rocking routine till I reached desperation and started CC! (I've heard good things about Riverton!)

It's best to start with a nighttime sleep - at least there you know they WILL EVENTUALLY fall asleep!! Day sleeps are harder!!

I don't know what advice to give to stop you caving in.... it's so hard... I guess I was so tired, depressed and exhausted that I knew I HAD TO DO THIS FOR BOTH OF US :eek: !!

Are you just leaving your baby to cry it out or using intervals of crying - this would be much easier for you and hubby!!

I hope you have some luck.. let us know how you go!

[traceysmith]

Hi Jessica

Thankyou for your advice............after another harrowing day and talking to the CHN (and bursting into tears) I finally booked into the day stay clinic on Thursday to try and have it sorted.

Would you believe today I tried to pat/rock her to sleep in her cot and she slept for 20 mins each time which is longer than when doing CC.

I agree with you about the baby whisperer after looking on this site I found some great books I will source at the library.

That's exactly how I feel, tired and depressed about the whole thing, I keep thanking my lucky stars that this is the only problem I have with her as she has a lovely nature (when she's not tired).

We are going into her at the 5 min intervals then 6 min etc etc.

Will let you know how I go on Thursday - fingers crossed

[jessica]

Hi Tracey,

I'm glad you booked in, I'm sure you'll get something out of it - just a word of advice! The daystay I went to had little hospital cribs for the babies to sleep in. They taught me to rapidly rock/push the crib to settle my little one - this worked great - but when I got home to my big wooden cot rocking and pushing was just too tiring especially on a hot day!! :eek: Think about how what the teach you will or won't work at home in a practical sense! I did learn alot about routines and watching for tired signs and also had a chance to chat to another mum there about our sleepless babies!! I felt I got something out of the stay and would still recommend it to any tired mum!

Good Luck!

[earthmother]

Hi Ladies,

It has been great reading this thread on CC. I'm now into day 3 of CC and I can see it working already :p

It has been hard and both DH and I are tired but we are getting there.

I have put big post-it notes on the fridge, above DD's cot and also one in our bedroom with huge bold words.....stay CALM, be CONFIDENT and stay CONSISTENT.

This is my mantra and it seems to be working.

It helps with DH being committed to doing the CC technique too.

Good luck everyone who is going through this too :o

[vickster]

Hi Everyone,

Hope you are all continuing to have successes with your little one's sleeping! I must say though, that I am really starting to doubt myself as to whether or not it was a good idea to try this controlled settling.

It seems that everywhere I look, someone has scientific evidence that it can cause all sorts of emotional and psychological damage to our children :confused: . So many parents (even in the bub hub forum) are dead against it. It's really making me feel guilty that I may have done something to hurt Charlotte.

What I don't understand, is that if it is really all that bad for our children's emotional wellbeing, then why are our CHNs advocates of it???

Our choice to start controlled settling came out of necessity, not convenience. Is anyone else feeling confused? :(

Vicki

[ladybug]

Hi everyone,

I'm new to this site, and I have been to Australia for only 35 days. I have a

8 months old daughter, and I'm one of these tired and sleepless mothers.

I started CC today. I decided to start with naps because I didn't want to disturb

my neighbours. However, I have a concern. She takes naps three times a day so

she's going to have to cry ( it's heart breaking :( ) three times a day. I might

switch to night CC section tomorrow. I need some suggestion about it. I don't

think I can handle seeing her crying three times a day.

cheers
Mevhibe ( you can call me May )

[H&B'sMum]

Welcome May to bub hub and to Australia.
Hi everyone else.

Just womdering how everyone is going?

Vicki, I agree with you that there are a lot of confusing research and facts about CC. But as we know you can find a fact or research to back up your opinion no matter what it is. I believe that if CC works for your family and it allows you to get some kind of sleep then keep with it.
The most important thing to remember is that you need to be consistent. You need to set a time frame for how long you are going to give CC a try and stick to it. I would say a month would be a good time frame. That way you are giving your child time to adjust and work out why things have changed and adapt to it.

As for other parents being against, obviously they haven't walked in your shoes. They haven't been there in your bubs room rocking/patting/singing for hours on ened to get your little one asleep for only what seems a couple of hours. They haven't experienced the sheer exhustion that you can feel when you have had two hours sleep and a crying bub for 8 hours.

Give yourselves a break and a big pat on the back. You all deserve it for doing and sticking to what you believe is right for you and your family.

Happy mum=Happy bub=Happy family.

Okay I'll get off my soap box now but I will continue cheering you all on in this wonderous journey of mother hood.

Happy, peaceful sleeps to all.

Bye

[Mother Duck]

Hello All

Great to read your comments - lucky babies to have such caring mum's!

We have used CC and it has worked really well.

However, I think in hindsight that I started too early. Mickayla is almost six months now, she suffered terribly from reflux and thus was a real screamer for the first three months.

I would always cuddle her through that but sometimes if it didn't seem to be from the reflux I would try CC.

I did not read about it but went with instinct and thought - if she was child number six she would not ALWAYS be in my arms - I now think that this was too early as she was most likely not getting enough from my breastmilk, hungry and frustrated.

There is such a fine line!

By the way - A REALLY good thing to get them to sleep is reading stories, right from 2mths. Lots of actions and verbal playing with the story, it doesn't even matter what you are reading.

One day at a friend's house she was really grumpy - I laid her on a blanket and read her a stock brokers guide and she loved it. Played by herself for awhile and then went to sleep!

Warmest regards to you all
Jessie

[jessica]

Hi Vicki,

Just wanted to say hi and tell you that I've had similar thoughts - Its now been nearly 1.5months of CC for us and I have to admitt there have been times when I've caved in or just had second thoughts - BUT I know deep down that this is the best thing for both of us - we very rarely have bad days now and I never let her cry more than 10minutes anyway - then a quick cuddle or feed settles her down. If my little one had become 'detached' or 'unresponsive' as result of CC I would have stoppped but she has become a much cherrier, happier little girl, she's more settled with strangers and more cuddly with us!! She always has a big smile on her face and with 'both' of us rested we can enjoy our time together... As Karena said no one knows what you've been through, you have to decide what is best for you both - as for the research - I read one of the papers sugested by another Bubhub member - its all based on theory (the writer admitted that!) there is no real evidence to suggest harm to your little one (as of 2002 when this paper was written) and when it comes down to it I figure 10minutes of crying is better than 1 hour of crying/rocking/patting/singing desperation :eek: !!

Sorry about the ramble! Hope your feeling more positive now.. do what you think is best!

[vickster]

Hi Guys,

Thanks for your support. I'm trying to be more relaxed about it. We've been doing the CC thing since Valentines Day and whilst Charlotte has been great for the last few weeks, I must admit that I have been a bit lax.

She was so overtired this evening that when I noticed she was falling asleep at the breast, I didn't take her off :eek: . So here I sit writing to you all, with my DD in bed over 1hr early, not bathed, no jammies and barefoot!!

I wonder how much sleep I'll get tonight?!....... :rolleyes:

[traceysmith]

Hi all

Just reporting back..............Maddison and I had our visit to the sleep clinic today. After a very long day (feeling tired but more positive) and finding out she had reflux....we had some success with controlled crying (I think now they call it settling).

After 5 mins of talking with CHN we realised she had mild reflux which in turn was affecting her sleep (and explained heaps of other problems and behaviours).

The clinic was FANTASTIC and actually seeing someone else do CC was good and alot different from what was previously explained to me as the nurse could see what worked for bub and what didnt. After 1.5hr crying and settling she had 45mins at the clinic and after 20mins at home had another 45mins.

Jessica - the cots they had were big timber ones like at home which was good and we just rocked her body gently and tried more to relax her before trying to put her to sleep. So I think if we perservere we will get somewhere.

So fingers crossed I can recommend the sleep clinics, the only negative thing is she made me take the dummy away but I have decided to continue with it for now.

Tracey

[jessica]

Hi,

Had a shocker last night!! Lately my little one has decided that 1am is a good time for a cuddle!! Tried to let her cry it out - gave one cuddle - more crying - some patting - more crying - eventually she fell asleep about 2.30am I think... I think she has bad nights when she gets overstimulated in the day? We went to mothers group and she had a ball giggling,laughing and rolling around with a little friend, missed a sleep and ended up absolutely exhausted by bedtime!! I don't think it will ever be smooth sailing everynight!! Even mums who do co-sleeping etc have bad nights! I guess it just depends on how we manage it.

Vicki, If my little one falls asleep on the boob I let her sleep!! I know thats wrong but take a good thing when its there!! My little one tends to gobble down her food so fast that she rarely has the chance to fall asleep on the breast!

Tracey, so glad to hear clinic went well. I hope you have some success at home and take heart in knowing even those of us who have been trying CC for a while still have our doubts and bad nights - but we also have lots of peaceful sleeps to make up for the bad ones!! I still say its worth it! ;)

[traceysmith]

Hope all is well with everyone.

Well after first night and day of CC/settling I have had success! Don't know if it will last but hey take it while it's good.

After late feed it took 10mins of settling and for the first time in ages Maddison slept all night in HER cot! Today she slept for 2 hours which allowed me to actually do something for myself - yoga! Depending on her mood it really is only taking max 20mins to settle - I am trying not to get my hopes up but fingers crossed.

Don't know if this will help anyone else but I also have given her a "cuddly" a soft giraffe that I put against her face so only that toy means sleep - a couple times today when I put it against her face her eyes closed instantly - I would love to know if this works for anyone else.

After a reasonable nights sleep I can recommend CC.

Tracey

[Lachlan's Mum]

Hi Tracey

Firstly congrats on your (and bubs) success!

We have given Lachlan a lambswool skin (sheepskin) since early on and he is now really attached to it...it comes everywhere with us (holidays, friends houses, and daycare). He associates it with sleep and rubs his face into it etc. now that he is a bit older he rolls it up and sleeps on it like a pillow. If I am changing the sheets on his cot, or packing/unpacking from a holiday and place it on the floor he is sooo excited to see it and instantly lays on it rubbing his face in etc.

Just wanted to share that with you......babies are soo smart! :D

[Lachlan's Mum]

I just read over some of the recent posts re progress of everyone's cc/settling....gee it brings back memories!!!!! ;)

Anyway, wanted to say...hang in there....it works!! I have the most determined, bad tempered baby ever ! Yes, I know, we all think that! I even had a paid baby whisperer come to our house and say "this kid is sooooo determined!!".

But it really does work and it is sooooo worth it. It is the hardest thing ever, but is rewarding in the end...for both you, hubbies, bub, the whole household...not to mention baby sitters, and if you have to send your kids to daycare!!

I got to the stage where I missed even my DH's grannies funeral because I could not leave Lachlan with anyone...unless I expected them just to nurse and rock him all day!! :eek:

So like one of the mum's said above, anyone who judges you hasn't walked in your shoes. Lachlan had reflux too. So bad that he had to be medicated and was actually admitted to hospital.

Anyway...enough of the yucky stuff.....Lachlan is by no means the perfect baby (now) but I have to give him 20 out of 10 for sleeping......

10 months old still has 2 to 3 sleeps per day (of at least 1 hour each .....on average 1 1/2 to 2 hours) and sleeps normally 12 hours at night. No fuss. No patting, no rocking, no crying.......unless of course there is illness or teething involved...but then still not great dramas of hours length like before....maybe just a grizzle and a bit of a pat in his cot.

I had to pay someone a CHN (Baby Whisperer) in the end...but that was because I booked two daystays (at Chermside) and had both of them cancelled due to staff shortages...huge waiting list couldn't wait I was desperate! :eek:

Enough raving...just glad we can all compare notes (it was always great comfort to me to know I was not alone and Lachlan was pretty normal) and that there is this place we can post without fear of copping it from the non-cc mums...like I have on other posts!

Good Luck... :)

[Mother Duck]

Hello Again

Yes we have a bedtime favourite.

A little lamb with a baby lamb in its arms, called Little Lambie - very creative I know!

Mickayla loves lambie. Cuddles it and even looks like she is giving it kisses.

Aren't babies adorable :p

T'rah
Jessie

[ladybug]

Hi guys,

I just want to let you know that our CC's are going well. This is the 3rd night and my ladybug has fallen asleep in 5 minutes without crying. I'm so happy, and also she has a toy duck which she loves it. I've been giving her it for a month whenever she goes to sleep. She attaches it very much. She hugs it and falls asleep.

I hope everyone is doing well.

cheers
May & Esen Meltem ( almost 9 months old :-) )

[traceysmith]

Hi all

Great to hear what "cuddlies" other mums use - I find it so funny and agree they are so smart!

After second night of CC we had success and a 10 hour no fuss sleep. I even ventured out of the house today to try it and after a 5 min fuss she went off in the pram. I can't believe that such a thing would make me so happy - welcome to motherhood I guess.

I really enjoy reading comments from other mums.

Also wanted to say that I visited the sleep clinic at Inala they had no waiting list - got in 3 days after I booked in and the nurse was brilliant (she also told me they don't discriminate if you aren't from the area) worth a try if you can't get in somewhere else.

Cheers!
Tracey

[jessica]

Hi Tracey,

I'm so glad it's going so well for you!! I have to say I'm impressed you got CC working outdoors!! I haven't had success out of home yet (mind you I've only tried once! I tried at a friends house and the other mums there seemed uncomfortable with her crying so I stopped!)..

Any suggestions/tips on CC out and about? Do we do something a little different or just do it the same way?

P.S DON"T read the CC thread on sleeping and settling - very negative and annoying!! Don't want to get into some of the comments made but let's just say don't read it if your having a bad day!! Why can't we keep positive about however we CHOOSE to help our babies sleep - I've never read a negative comment about co-sleeping from a CC mum - I'll support a mum anyway she chooses to HELP her baby! Better stop now - too angry!! :mad:

[earthmother]

Day 8 of controlled crying and my DD is now sleeping 10-12 hours at night now!
She is now 10 months old and I am back at work soon (4 weeks to go ) and now when I say it's time for bed or 'night-night' time she starts to wave at everyone and knows it is time.
She still has a little soft cry/grizzle but is asleep within 10 minutes.
If I did not have to go back to work I would have kept on being sleep deprived as I was getting up 4 times to soothe her back to sleep.
She was a great sleeper up until 6 months and then from 6 months onwards was when she would wake up all hours of the night.
I would not have felt comfortable trying out CC when she was younger but as they get older I do believe that they need to be able to get to sleep by themselves.
I read a lot of books and on Day 3 I called Riverton just to make sure I was doing it correctly - the nurse there was very supportive and she could hear DD in the background while I was talking to her.
All I can say is that it has worked for us and I am now getting much needed sleep and DD is waking up so much happier too.
If bub is healthy, eating and drinking well and otherwise happy then CC is a good idea to try if you are so exhausted and particularly if you are about to return to work.
You do need the support of your partner and need to stay strong but there is support out there on the phone and on this site, so good luck to all you Mum's that are/have tried CC.
All the best

P.S. Sorry,I had posted in the wrong section earlier today - no crying tonight!
__________________
Lynda
Mum to Renee 21/5/04

[traceysmith]

Hi Jessica

Well it is day 5 of CC/settling and still going really well.

I have been out 3 times since starting and each time have done EXACTLY the same routine (dummy in, cuddly beside face, the shhhhh and rocked the pram a bit). One thing they taught me at the sleep clinic is to watch your babies' tired signs - eg rubbing eyes, getting cranky. They said not to let your baby get overtired so as soon as you see them getting tired etc, straight to bed.

I find Maddison cries less and less now and is starting to re-settle herself after waking. So perserverence is the key - and the more calmer and confident I am the better I think! For the first time in ages she is even putting herself to sleep in the car.

I find it really disapointing that other mums were uncomfortable when you were out it seems society is really untolerable of crying babies and as mothers we all know what it is like and should support each other.

I have to say CC is the BEST thing I have ever done and the whole house is happier. I also have to say that for the first 3-4 months of Maddison's life we had her in our bed and when you are a new mum and you a dead tired and trying to adjust you do what you can and you have do to what is right for you, your partner and your baby - every family is different. As soon as we took her in our bed she started sleeping longer and by 6weeks was sleeping 8 hours undisturbed.

I have to also say about co-sleeping that every morning I would watch her wake, stretch and smile at me then later on chat and squeal and this was one of the best and rewarding things about being a parent.

Ok off my soapbox now!

Jessica, hope you have some success with going out - lets face it we all NEED to get out of the house!!!!

Tracey

[amandab]

Hi all,

this is such a tough one. I have 2 boys - Rupert (nearly 3) and Thomas (10 months). They are complete nightmares where sleep in concerned - Rupert started as a severe reflux baby, and Thomas has been hellish for the past 7 months. I would do anything for a decent night where I get more than an hours sleep at one time!

We have tried CC on numerous occasions, even resorting to week long stays at Tresillion (Sydney) three times! But our problem was apartment living where CC just isn't an option. We were evicted 3 times in Rupert's first year due to his crying (or blood curdling screaming as I would put it!). We moved to the upper north shore of sydney to enable us to rent a house (no neighbours on the other side of the wall to annoy), but our problem now is waking rupert.

Thomas is unable to go from one sleep cycle to the next without waking and screaming (for up to 3 hours!). We are at breaking point, and CC has been difficult. So I re-read my edition of 'Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers" by Tracy Hogg, and she prescribes not quite CC, but keeping bub in the cot and patting, shhing, etc. I'm at my wits end, so I thought I would give it a go this week and I'll let you know. There must be others out there who live in apartments and/or have other bubs where really strict CC isn't always the option? Basically, you respond when bub cries, but shhh, pat etc until he/she stops, go away as soon as they do, and start all over when they cry again. My first night was last night, and I'm trying to break the 2-hourly feeding (for a 12 kg 10 month old mind you - as if he needs a feed that often!!). I was up for as much as I was when we were going in and out of the room with CC, but it was a lot quieter for the others. Thomas did however have a big scream at one point when he realised he wasn't getting a feed from me!

HOpe it's ok not to be uber-positive about CC - i thought it might be good to see if others have had any success with a watered down version as I've outlined?

Here's to more sleep for all of us!

Amanda

Rupert (29/5/02)
Thomas (7/5/04)

[jessica]

Hi Amanda,

You poor bugger!! 2 hourly feeding for a 10month old you must be exhausted! the only thing I can think of (remebering I'm a first time mum who is just learning and really hasn't a clue!!) is trying formula, I'm assuming he's on a steady flow of solids by now - no doubt you've been given this advice 100 times and are probably rolling your eyes.. sorry! :o I know that desperate feeling of sleeplessness... we also live in a townhouse, I can't believe you were evicted! Can they really do that? I have to say our neighbours just moved out 2 weeks ago - maybe it was because of us? Oh well!

I honestly don't know what to say to help - maybe some more experienced members can help -

Wishing you sweet dreams!

[Lachlan's Mum]

Hi Amanda

Just wanted to say hang in there!

It sounds like you've tried just about everything and have probably been given tonnes of advice.

All I can say is that it might seem like you are up just as much now (trying to settle etc without feeding) but remember the end result is for bub to sleep all night....which will take long to happen in the long run if you give in now! This yucky learning (for bub) part will not go on for long ... (fingers crossed :rolleyes: )

Good Luck

[H&B'sMum]

Hi everyone,

Amanda you poor thing. Hang in there. It sounds like you are doing what is best for your child. The thing is to perserve and remember you are teaching your bubba something new, so give him time to respond to it and adapt to it. He will try to change the rules back to what he wants but if you honestly believe this is the best thing for him, then keep going and he will eventually learn the new way of doing things.

Well, we have just come back from my IL's farm and I was very proud of Harry. I was a bit worried about how he would go in a new cot and a new environment but he did very well. He was so tired most nights that we had a little grizzling and then straight off to sleep for 11 hours. I had to explain to the IL's that he was really tired and will cry for a little while but then go off and they were really supportive of it, so that helped.
In the car on the way home, we had a 5 hour trip home and Harry slept for 4 hours straight. We were so happy. He woke up happy and started singing to himself in the back seat until we got home. Kept us amused for the home stetch!!!!! :D

For the girls who are trying cc out of the home, my advice is try to make it as close to as if you are at home as possible iykwim???? If your bub has a cuddley make sure you bring it with you, if they have a special blanky bring that too. It's all about consistency and trying to have the same routine wherever you are.

Good luck, hope all this gives you hope and support.

[vickster]

Hi Guys,

It's great to hear that everyone is going well with their sleeping. I've just re-read all of the posts and I agree with Jessica's post on the 21/3.....DON'T read it. I have been and it has completely brought me undone. That and the fact that Charlotte is teething more furiously (but no elusive first tooth yet!!).

She absolutely WILL NOT settle herself or be settled in her bed, which is soooo confusing because she was going to sleep on her own within 10mins up until about 2weeks ago. Just when we had things sorted :( .

Such is my dismay, that I've abandoned all hope and can now only feed her to sleep. Last night she fed to sleep at 8pm, woke at 9pm and would only settle to sleep if I rocked her. She then woke in tears at 11pm, fell asleep in my arms after crying for 10mins. Put her back into bed, slept till 1am, fed. I was so upset and tired that I let Charlotte sleep with us - and she did till her next feed at 5.50am!

Any ideas on how to get back on track, or should I wait till this tooth comes thru before trying again?

[earthmother]

Hi Vicki,
Not nice that you are having a little set back with Charlotte.
Have you noticed if the gum area is a little swollen and has a bluish tinge, as these are sure signs of a pending tooth. Lots of drooling and dribbling too?!
If DD is feeling unwell, this may be why she is not able to settle herself back to sleep. Could she be cold or maybe too warm in her room? Any outside disturbances perhaps? I know that sometimes the birds can wake up my DD in the wee early hours of the morning.
If she is feeding a lot more than usual she could also be going through a growth spurt.
Hope Charlotte gets back on track real soon.
Be kind to yourself and keep your chin up.

[Mother Duck]

Hi Vicki

How upsetting for you, especially when it feels like a set back.

I reckon that you should not be too stringent with the CC while she is obviously in discomfort.

Use it when you can but you will be able to get back on track when she is over this teething thing. It can be hideous for some bubs.

I wish that you lived near me - then we could look after her for a while during the day so you could get some catch up sleep.

By the way - just for interest - Aboriginal method of combatting teething - rub cooked (or not) witchidee grub on the gums - works like a charm! - although I am sure you will opt for Bonjella.

Good luck and keep up the great work
Warmest regards
Jessie

[jessica]

Hi Vicki,

Sorry to hear about little Charlotte's dramas!! poor little bugger - my little one went a little off the rails last week - we think we've pinned it down to the change in weather - it's been a little colder at night so I've started dressing her a little warmer (she dosen't use sheets as her bedtime aerobics means she'd end up under or wrapped in them!).. this seems to have helped!! Last night however she woke at 1am with a sweaty little head and very thirsty!! I've always found the weather to play havoc with her sleep? Hope this might help? Don't give up hope - let's hope its just a growth spurt or the elusive tooth (no tooth for us yet either!!)

I think I'm learning to take the good sleeps with the bad sleeps and I just keep remembering how far we've come from hour long screaming and crying (both of us!) sessions... we have to keep remebering they are only babies - precious sleepless ones at that!! :p

[H&B'sMum]

Hi Vicki,

Sorry to hear about Charlotte, poor little thing. I use a herbal remedy called Brauers teething relief. It is wonderful stuff and usually helps Harry to get through the night. If it's really bad you can give them the teething relief and panadol. You can get it at the chemist. I get mine from the chemist at Kotara Westfields. It's okay not to be so strict with CC while she is teething, but that doesn't help you at 3:00am. Try the teething relief and see if that helps.
Good luck.
Talk soon.
FYI I have replied to the CC discussion. I couldn't hold my tongue any longer!!!!

[vickster]

Thank you for your support!!

After reading your posts, I've regained some confidence. I also checked with my gp
yesterday when we took Charlotte for her needles. His theory was...did I watch 'The Supernanny' on Wednesday night?! :p . It really did make me feel better that his was his take on it, he's a gr8 dr.

Sooo....Monday is D-day to get back on track!

You are all lovely :D ....Happy Easter everyone!

P.S I did read your post in the CC thread, Karena. Thought it was gr-8 someone stood up for us. I'm really starting to get cranky with all the negativity and guilt towards parents who use CC/CS as a last resort for their families...and I bought a BIG bottle of the teething relief yesterday, we've already tried it. Works a treat!

[jessica]

Hi everyone,

We've hit a snag in the road! Were back to waking twice in the night - 1am and 3am and then deciding to wake at 5am!! I'm really scared that we will go back to waking hourly again (I couldn't cope with that again!!)... I've tried leaving her to cry/grizzle mostly, at 1am but it just goes on and on (I last an hour before I give in and feed her!!)... then only 2 hours later she wants another feed!! I know its not a cuddle wake because she looks for the boob! Then this waking at 5am - I leave again for about an hour!! She grizzles and has a little cry here and there but WON'T go back to sleep!! Aaaahhhhh!!!

Could just be a phase (the old teething/growth spurt story) and it seems easier to just quickly feed and go back to bed but I'm really worried if I do this will she decide that she could wake hourly for a feed!!

Despite this I still don't regret CC!! It's a godsend to have her put herself to sleep (peacefully I should add!).... it's great that she has 2 daytime SLEEPS not catnaps... We just have a new little problem to tackle!! any ideas?

P.S How are you going Vickster - did Charlotte go back to 'normal'? Any teeth yet? None here yet! :D

P.P.S Have started using a grobag at night - I hope this isn't waking her? Mind you this started before the grobag.... :confused:

[vickster]

Hi Jessica,

Unfortunately Charlotte is not back on track and I'm sorry to say that I've let other people get the better of me and have not tried the controlled settling again. :( Like you said, it seems easier and quicker to just let her feed to sleep - I never actually had Charlotte sleep through when we did CS. She still woke at 2 and 5am, she just got better at her daytime sleeps and putting herself to sleep.

We even moved her into her own room because we thought that we were waking her up.Everytime you roll over in our bed it creaks and groans.....it's a very old slat bed!! It doesn't seem to have made a difference.

I continually have to settle her from 7.30pm to about 10.00pm before she'll sleep through till 2am uninterrupted. I've just decided to go with the flow and let Charlotte tell me what she needs. I don't have to feed her or rock her for long before she goes to sleep - maybe 5mins?

We are still waiting for that tooth :rolleyes: Things seem to have settled down a bit as far as that's concerned.

Enough ramble from me. How is everyone's munchkins going? Talk soon.

Love......

[H&B'sMum]

Like I told you today Vicki, I'm sorry that other people opinions hit you hard and you are doing a GREAT job with Charlotte. She is beautiful and you both of you should be very proud of her. Like you said let Charlie guide you with what she needs. If she is doing self-settling during the day, when you have your confidence back try again at night.
Harry is doing great and we very rarely do CC now as he got himself into a wonderful sleep pattern (unless those damn teeth start to hurt again!!!! Grrrrr)
Keep staying strong and believe that you are doing the best thing for your family.
Good luck everyone.

[jessica]

Hi Vicki,

Sorry to hear Charlotte is still going through a rough patch! Every day is a new challenge and like you I've decided to try and go more with the flow - let her tell me what she needs - I have to go back to work soon so I better make the most of every moment! I wouldn't listen to those anti CC nags - really, only you know what's best for your little one - do what you feel comfortable with but most importantly what works for Charlotte at the time!

I'm positive this tooth is on its way - she has been really irritable - poor little bugger - but then again she slept well last night and only woke once for her early morning feed! Although still grumbly today she managed to put herself to sleep after playing with her 'chew rag' for a while!! They're so unpredictable - I'm sure Charlottes unsettled phase will pass and you both will be enjoying sweet dreams again soon! ;)

[jessica]

FINALLY!!!
We have a tooth!!!
HOORAY!
I'm so proud of my little angel!
What a clever girl!!

:D :D :D :D

[StormAngel]

:d :d :d Way To Go :d :d :d

[H&B'sMum]

yeah well done little one

[Mother Duck]

Hooray Little Love!!
My little love is just one month behind you, we have been very actively teething for two months or so now, I can't wait to see those little pearls!!

[vickster]

Hi Jessica,

Congratulations!!

It's about time the Tooth Fairy came :D I'm so glad your bub's finally cut her tooth. What a clever girl! We're STILL waiting, but I think things have settled down for a while now :(

[StormAngel]

hi

I've only been doing CC for 3 days, and it's been taking about 30 mins for bub to fall asleep but last night and this morning she cried for 5mins then dropped off, i didn't even need to go in!!!!

So far so good, hope it lasts :rolleyes:

[Mother Duck]

Well done Jo, good luck.

We are going through a bit of a yukkie stage where Mickayla (such as right now) - sounds almost like she has hurt herself. I will rush in to check only to see that she is fine just very frustrated and tired. And because I have come in again - a bit more fuel for the fire.

It is so hard to hear them cry.
Jessie

[jessica]

Hi,

Thanks to everyones kind words - we are still very excitied about our first tooth!! Mummy is especially excited because our sleep patterns have gone back to normal! PHEW!! In fact she didn't wake this morning for her early morning feed till about 5am!! WOW! She seems to have a bit of a cold/virus type thing - apparently sometimes comes with the first tooth? She's a litttle grizzly and very tired but checked with doctor and all is well -

Keep with it jlk - perserverance is the only way - and trust me it's worth it!! Always listen to your heart though - Thankfully my little one initially would settle within about 15 minutes of crying (sometimes screaming! AAHHH!) - but now it dosen't take more thank a couple of minutes of grizzling if that! And if ever there is crying/screaming a cuddle fixes it straight away!!

Good luck, be strong! Sweet dreams! ;)

[Kirsty and Finley]

Jodie,

I felt I had to reply to you because I have had terrible trouble with my now 11mth old. He has always been a terrible sleeper and my husband's refusal to stop rocking him to sleep hasn't helped. BUT - he now puts himself to sleep. The catch is that he doesn't like to be alone. We have a chair in his room and I just sit in the chair until he has gone to sleep. Sometimes he goes straight to sleep without any tear or loud screams. Other times he brings the house down. Either way, I just sit in the chair. I never look at him though. Sometimes I close my eyes, other times I turn the chair around so he can't see my face properly. This is the only thing that works for us. If I leave the room he just cries - there is no end. I'm not sure if this is something you would like to try because I know it is 'against the rules' of CC, but it is the only thing that has worked for us. I figure he just doesn't like to be alone - and I don't mind sitting there for a few minutes as it is enormously better than the (up to an hour of !!) crying.

Kirsty.

Mum to Finley (April 04)

[Brenda]

Hi Everyone
I have just finished reading all yours posts with great interest. My son Jack is 6 months old tomorrow and I used the CC/CS technique with him when he was about 4 months old as advised by my CHN. Being a niave first time Mum I hung on every word my CHN told me and she told me about the technique as if it was just what you had to do to teach your child to go to sleep by themselves. At the time I didn't realise what a hot topic it was and that it was frowned upon by some. It made sense to me as I just couldnt have imaged doing the whole rocking/patting/singing/(dancing - well not quite) scenario that used to take forever with a 12kg 10 month old.

I put it off for a while as I was sure it would be a hard road as Jack had a great set of lungs and was not afraid to use them and I knew it would be hard not responding to his crys. Anyway I finally started, remained, consistent & confident (even if inside I was doubting myself terribly) and it worked wonders. First time he cried for about 25 minutes and then went off for a great sleep (I would go in at varying intervals to reassure him that I hadnt run away). He changed from a cat napper to sleeping for 1.5 hours twice a day and started either sleeping through the night or waking once around 3.30pm for a feed. Everything was GREAT and I felt like such a clever Mummy with a wonderful clever baby until we hit the 5 month mark and his night-time sleeping went crazy! and still is :(

Nothing external changed he just started waking up to 5 times a night and the only way I can settle him is by feeding him. He wakes up sounding like he is distressed, he groans in a really low tone which increases in volume until he's crying :confused: He sounds frustrasted or really annoyed. I end up feeding him as this is the only thing that settles him and he goes off to sleep after a 10-15 min feed.

Last night he went down at 6.30 then woke at 9.30 (fed him), 1am (fed him), 2.40am (patted back to sleep), 3.00am (patted back to sleep), 5am (fed him) and then up at 7am.

Fingers crossed his daytime sleeping is still going great guns.
I keep putting off doing the CC/CS technique in the night as I think if he can put himself to sleep during the day and when he goes down at night why cant he do it during the night ?? I keep hoping he will go back to his old ways himself but the longer it goes on the more I worry that I'm now teaching him the habit of waking for feeds during the night, I mean 3 feeds over night is crazy!

Anyway I am going to move him into his own room in the next couple of days (at the moment he is in his cot in ours) and I think my only option is to start using the CC/CS technique during the night.

Sorry this has ended up being such a long post its just so nice to be able to share my thoughts/situation with other Mums going through similar experiences.

Thanks for listening.
cya

[Mother Duck]

Hi Brenda

You poor thing, you must be knackered!

My little love has her seven month milestone on 22Sep, so they are very close in age.

I would personally reassure you to try the CC again. We have recently had some tripups in Mickayla's routine (for no obvious reasons apart from maybe teething)
CC seems to work again quickly enough, and she is such a happy baby when she is putting herself to sleep!!

Good luck and it is a pleasure to listen to you!!

[Brenda]

Thanks Jessie :)

I'll let you all know how I go, am still waiting on the room move. Lingering paint fumes are holding it up.

Last night was only 1 feed at 2.30 but 2 wake ups earlier for bum pats back to sleep. Better than 3 feeds I guess.

[Rell]

Hi everyone I have realy enjoyed reading all the postings. I used CC with my daughter ( now 3) and am now using it with my 6mth old son. My daughter took only about a month to get her on the right track but my so Nathan is taking much longer. Its very tough so I realy great to know I am not the only one doing this, especialy when everyone around me seem to be blessed with good sleepers. I was even told by one mother she had a good sleeper because she was very calm and had no caffene while pregnant. For all those struggling through I can tell you it is worth it in the end. My daughter still has a day time sleep and goes to bed at 7pm every night without a problem, everyone is always comenting on what a good sleeper she is.
For the past 6 weeks Nathan has been waking once or twice a night not crying but talking. The talking goes on for between 30 to 60 min and then turns into a winge. I have tried settling him during the talking period but nothing seems to work. I have to wait until he starts the winge and then cry before I can get him back to sleep and then if (like this morning) it is then 5 - 5.30 he will not go back to sleep and wants a feed. People tell me not to worry he will grow out of it but its not them who lie awake for hours at night unable to sleep. If anyone has ideas I would love to hear them.
Hope everyones little bubs start to get the idea of sleeping soon

[lozzat]

Hi All,
I just wanted to tell everyone how excited I am with CC! I have been only doing this for 3 days with my 7 month old boy and it's a dream! The first day took me about 40mins of going in patting, rocking and stroking and telling him "time to sleep, sleep time", then leaving the room for about 2 minutes at a time, then repeating it until I checked the last time and he was out like a light! His first day time sleep went from 25 minutes to 2 hours! He did the same again in the afternoon...I couldn't believe it and actually didn't know what to do with myself? (actually I cleaned...and couldn't seem to stop??).
Then yesterday it only took me about 10 mins, and today not even that! The first night he slept through from 6.30pm-6.30am which was wonderful. Last night he woke at 4am for a quick feed, but ended up chatting to himself in the cot for about 20 mins?? I stood outside the room laughing as it was so cute! He's just gone down for his afternoon nap, and that only took about 5 mins - I love CC! :)
I've been so encouraged reading all the other Mum's stories, it isn't easy and I was sure I wouldn't be able to succeed as I cave in when he cries as it upsets me so much....but so far so good! I'll keep reading about how it is going for everyone else and pray that it works for them and that my little one sticks to it??
Lorraine (Mum to 7 month old Joshua) :D

[StormAngel]

Hi

The CC seems to be working well now.

Isabella now has 2 sleeps in the daytime of about 2hrs and is in bed by 8-830pm at night and sleeps through until about 7-730am

She is only taking about 5mins to fall asleep, but it all depends on whats going on around the house (little monkey might miss out on something :rolleyes: )

As for me, i'm not feeling so run down having to feed her to sleep all the time :)

[Mother Duck]

Hi Jo and Lorraine

Well done you guys!

Lorraine - I've got lots of cleaning here if you run out!

A dear 94yo friend of mine came to see me shortly after I had Mickayla, I was full on apologetic for 'the mess' as I felt he was from an era where women seemed to be able to do it all.

He stopped me short and said, "Jessie, if you can not write 'I LOVE YOU' in the dust, it isn't a home!"

Cute eh?!

[vickster]

Hi Everyone,

Jo, that is so great Isabella is responding so well and is sleeping for you! It's good to hear that everyone is finally getting SOME sleep :o .

I must confess something to you all. I was going to wait and see how things panned out coz it's only early days, but...... I bit the CS/CC bullet ( I got up to Charlotte 8 times in 4hrs on Wed. and thought enough was enough) and started again on Thursday. My parents have gone on hols and I thought it would be the perfect time to start.

OMG I can't believe how much easier this is the second time round. Not easier listening to the crying, but Charlotte really gets it! :D The longest I've had to resettle was 10 mins and last night she slept from 7.50pm to 1.50pm before she woke for a feed, totally uninterrupted. I can't believe how much difference age and external distractions ( my family can be way too noisy sometimes!)

I was soooo worried about trying again, but have realised that I can't go on any longer the way I have been. Especially now that I'm officially starting back at work on May 2nd :(

So I would like to say a big THANK YOU to everyone for your ongoing support and patience. I don't think I would have gotten through this without your inspiring stories, tips and confidence boosting.

Love you guys! xxx

P.S Charlotte says thank you too!

[H&B'sMum]

That's fantastic Vicki, may be this time you and Charli just connected together and were both on the same page. She was ready to try it again and so were you. I'm sure you feel like a new woman after all that sleep.
Good luck with going back to work.
And keep sleeping Charli,

Harry says "hi" and ((((((((sloppy kisses)))))))) to my girlfriend and her mum.

[jessica]

Hi Everyone,

I'm really glad things are back on track for you Vicki! I've just read through a few posts and think its great to hear so much positive feedback and support - it gets so hard when the negative talk starts to make you feel guilty... but I know what a shocker night of hourly wakes can do - obviously Charlotte is ready! Thank goodness hey!

Weve had a mixed week, started with a trip to the hospital for my little angel who became severly constipated after refusing to breastfeed (I'm assuming because of her teeth coming through!) - this is now on the mend thank goodness! Our sleeps went a little off there for a while but were getting back on track.. she actually slept through the night for the first time ever two nights ago!! But last night woke again for one feed (not that this bothers me at all!!)... but maybe soon we will be sleeping through..... who knows! I don't make predications anymore - just wait and see what comes!! She is now having her morning sleep - no tears just alot of rolling around!! Her sleeping bag is twisted up and her chew rag is lying on her back but she's a happy little camper!!

Just read a post by Rell, my little one used to do the hour long talking, whinging thing too, I tried leaving her as she wasn't really crying but it lasted for over an hour and neither of us was getting any sleep! So I gave in and feed her and she would go back to sleep - I know this is wrong - but do what works I say!! And eventually she just stopped doing it altogether!! Hopefully since your post he has already stopped??

Sweet dreams to all! ;)

[StormAngel]

Hi Vicki

Well done and yay for charlotte!!!!!

[Mother Duck]

What a great Mother's Day Pressie for me
- Mickayla's First Tooth!!

HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY TO ALL OF YOU!!!!

[Ivy-Rose]

Hey there Jessica,
I haven't been here for awhile.
Good on your little one with her first tooth.
Ivy-Rose got her first tooth on the 5th which was the day she turned 9mths.

It was so exciting. My other 2 were only 5mths when they popped 2 teeth out so I have been sitting in waiting and was checking everyday. She hates you touching her mouth now she got sick of it. LOL

Anyway what a great suprise.

Cheers :p

[Carina]

I was happy to read so many success stories with cc. I've been putting off doing anything with Gracie because I was worried about the emotional impact on her and, to be honest, was not looking forward to even more work putting her to bed. But I've reached the point now where something has to be done - I got the shakes the other day I was so tired!

My question is, what happens if they don't cry? All the descriptions of the cc technique say wait a certain period while they are crying before you go back in. Grace just rolls on to her stomach, pops her head up and bangs on the side of the cot with her dummy until someone comes. We've tried just waiting for her to get tired and go to sleep but it seem that she just gets more and more awake until we go in and pat her to sleep again. often it takes half and hour to three quarters before her eyes close and on bad days she just wakes up again 10 minutes later!Does that awake/banging time count the same as crying time???

[Carina]

Thanks Theresa, will try that approach. Not sure about the dummy - it's a pretty strong sleep association for Grace and might be too upsetting to have the double whammy of different settling behaviour and missing dummy! Having said that, she sometimes decides she'd rather suck on her blanket so it might work.. will let you know how we go.

Carina

[draught]

I understand about the sleep association - we are still "wrapping" DD2- although she can actually get her arms out as soon as she moves them, there is something about the soothing routine of being wrapped that calms her down. And we tend to use the same soft blanket each time so I think that is a comfort thing in itself. I think that you do whatever you and your child need to do to make it all work for you. Good luck and keep us informed on how you go.
On day 3 our settling time is getting smaller and smaller - the first time she woke during the night it took about 10 minutes and the second time took 2 minutes, so I am persevering!

[annsam]

Hi ladies, this is the very first POSITIVE CC thread Ive seen in any forum. Well done.

We did gentle CC at 7 weeks (early I know but I had to otherwise it was going to end in disaster) and it worked beautifully. Now DS is 8 mths old and wants to be rocked/cuddled which funnily enough, I have no issue with at the moment though the regularity of this is increasing so I think we need to start taking a bit of a step back again soon. :o

The only bit I didn't like long term is that we taught him to only sleep in his cot so thats what he did. He wouldn't go to sleep in the pram or in my arms if we were out and he didn't like having a quiet cuddle but now he will so Im hoping we can find that magical balance. :rolleyes:

Well done again on making this a positive thread. Though Im reasonably confident with DS now and CC worked, I often doubted AFTER doing it that it was the right thing to do after reading some peoples opinions on it.

[ToTeenyTots]

Hi
I have been having trouble from day 1 putting Tash to sleep (she is now 5 months). I had success with wrapping for awhile but with her increased strength I find she just pulls the bunny rug over her head which can never be a good thing. I am interested in trying CC as I know people who have had great success with it. I was hoping for some sugestions on actual time frames ie how long to cry before going in, how far to go in the settling before leaving again etc. I want to try but Im just not sure how to start. Any advice appreciated
Tashiesmum

[draught]

Hi Tashiesmum
I have just had my first two nights in a row of uninterrupted sleep after months of broken sleep so am feeling very positive about CC at the moment! There are two suggestions for the timing. One video I saw suggested 2 then 3 then 4 then 5 minutes. But Dr Ferber in his book "how to solve your child's sleep problems". which I borrowed from the library after recommendations from this forum, suggests 5 then 10 then 15 on the first night, then 10, 15, 20 on the second night. We did a modified approach and for the first couple of nights did 3, 5, 7, 10, and worked up to 5, 10, 15. One thing to remember is that just a the point when you think you have to go in and give them a cuddle, hold on for a few more seconds as that is normally the point just before they drop off to sleep. I would recommend getting your hands on the book - it helped me to formulate a plan that has worked really well for us.

[ToTeenyTots]

Theresa
Cheers for that I will see if I can get my hands on that book.
Tashiesmum

[annikel]

I've just discovered this forum tonight after looking for some CC support while listening to my little one cry away. :(

It's been an amazing help reading all your posts and success stories. :)

I have a question i'm hoping someone can answer!

After an hour of CC, my DD finally went to sleep. I'm expecting her to wake up soon after her 45 minute sleep cycle. (hopefully she won't though). My question is, if she wakes up, do i start the CC all over again? Or go in and pop her dummy back in? She's always gone to sleep with her dummy, so putting her dummy in straight away may work, and save doing the CC. But would trying to get her to re-settle herself without the dummy be a better option, and if she hasn't resettled after 5 minutes say, go put it in?

What hard work this is.

Kelly

[jessica]

Hi Kelly,

My little one has never used a dummy so I can't talk from experience BUT from what I've read most say it's best to lose the dummy when using CC. The aim is for baby to sleep alone without any aids like rocking to sleep or dummys? I know it's hard.....

Were having a few problems here!! Things are all over the place (literally!!) we've just moved house, I go back to work in 1 month and we're settling into being with a nanny for half days (we started with hour stays and were moving toward whole days slowly!!)... anyway our daytime sleeps have gone out the window :eek: ! Thankfully nightitme sleeps are still great but she puts up a massive fight in the day! Yesterday she missed her afternoon sleep altogether and was a cranky little bugger all afternoon - she was in her cot for 40 min crying on and off!! This morning has taken about 30min and I THINK she's asleep but I'm too scared to check in case she wakes!! Apparently she is sleeping well for the nanny though!! I guess all this change was bound to have an effect but its so hard to hear her cry when I already feel guilty about going back to work as it is!! Fingers crossed things settle down soon..... :confused:

Hope everyone is well...
sweet dreams!

[annikel]

Thanks Jessica, i think you're right. Luckily though she didn't wake last night, so the dummy wasn't an issue.

We just moved too about a month ago and things are still chaotic! Annika has had to adjust to a new room and a new routine, so maybe it's finally affected her as she's only just become a problem to settle at night the last few days. I don't know!

Thankfully your night sleeps are still going ok, i hope the days sleeps improve. Don't feel guilty about going back to work! Think positive that she seems to be sleeping well for the nanny, so you shouldn't need to stress about her crying while you're at work. :) Easier said than done though isn't it. :)

All the best for today, hope your little one sleeps well. :)

[ToTeenyTots]

Hi Theresa

I dont actually have a library as such near me, I live out of town and the nearest town being really small, but I did come across some more suggestions from you and some other rather sleep deprived mothers in another thread in Sleeping/settling. So anyway today when I went to put Tashie down for her first sleep of the day I went through the usual process of feed then holding/cuddling while she cried and waited for her to drop off to sleep. She took a lot longer than usual and I had a few things that needed to be done, so when I put her in the cot I must have rushed her a bit and she woke up. When she started crying I left the room and went and did 1 of the things I needed to do about 3 mins then back in and settle then 5 mins then asleep!!! It worked again for her next sleep and alo when she went to bed aroun 6pm. She has woken twice since but gone back to sleep with little or no crying. I am realy hoping this continues to work as well and as easily as it is. My partner is also away alot and I have no support near me, so I had put of trying this method thinking it would be too hard on my own. fingers crossed it continues.

Anna

[draught]

Hey Anna
Glad that things are working for you. AFter several night of great sleep my gorgeous girl has cut two front teeth and come down with a cold so we are back to bad nights but at least I know that when she gets better I can start again and that it does work! Let us know how you go
Theresa

[ToTeenyTots]

Hi Theresa

Tash is going great guns!
Well ok so she didnt have a sleep this afternoon as she just refused and I caved in ! But other than that she has really gotten the idea supprisingly quick! It has definately helped have a routine based on actions not time before I started. Last night she slept from 11 till 2.30 then till 5. All steps in the right direction. She went down really easy tonight exhausted due to no afternoon sleep and I havent heard from her yet 6-930 UNHEARD OF !!!
So I am really excited as you can guess!
We have to drive to town tomorrow and she if usually really unsettled for the rest of the day if not 2 So this will be a test for her
Fingers crossed
Anna

[sammy]

I have heard and read lately that controlled crying is now [I]controlled comforting
seems a more positive way of saying the same thing.
I have heard about the baby whisperer.She is very good. I always vomwed I would buy her book if I had a sceaming baby but I've got 2 and they were both brilliant.....i did look at her book and it looked pretty thorough and wise

[mousey]

I would like to say how wonderfully refreshing it is to see a positive and supportive CC thread on a forum :)
We used CC on my DD after trying everything else, and I was going slowly insane.
I have been attacked and ridiculed for using the CC method and for putting my baby on a routine (I had to as she was badly jaundiced), so I commend you on such a lovely thread!
Keep it up guys! :D

[ToTeenyTots]

I dont know what to do
Tash had taken to CC really well and I thought it was too good to be true and it appears I was right.!!
She now goes off to sleep really well but wakes after about 15 mins.
I try to resettle and then use CC again to put her back to sleep and it just doesnt work!
I really believe that this type of method is what we need for her and for me but I dont know if I can continue if it continues to fail. I then think if I stop all that crying and stress for the both of us will just be wasted.
I would appreciate any advice or if any one has had a similar response ie 15 min sleeps only. She is up all night and is awake anout 2 hrs between "sleeps" during the day.
How long should I keep going for?
Cheers

[draught]

Oh Anna - you sound worn out!! I haven't had experience of the 15 minute wake up. However, all our hard work at teaching DD2 to sleep through and go to sleep without me there has been undone by her having a cold, cutting two teeth, and now having her grandparents visit which means she has to sleep in our room. At 2am I gave in and just put her in our bed - it means that she sleeps even if I don't.

The only times DD2 has woken consistently after sleeping well, her cries were quite different and we realised that she was teething and in pain (unlike her older sister who had no pain with any teeth) so a dose of infant panadol helped her a lot. So - maybe look to other reasons for her waking?!

Apart from that I have no instant solutions. I know that the rules of effective CC include consistency so that baby knows what to expect - so maybe look to see if you are doing something different when she wakes rather than when you are putting her down (??have no idea, just trying to come up with solutions) Also - when she wakes, do you leave her for a few minutes to see if she will resettle first? I have found that if I leave my girls for a few minutes rather than rushing to re-settle, they will often go back to sleep before I get in there.

Another thought is to focus on the night sleeps as the main ones, so that she (and you) at least sleeps at night, even if she doesn't sleep much during the day. As they get older babies do need less sleep, so sometimes people run into the problem of trying to put baby down to sleep all the time when in fact they aren't tired. With DD1 CC worked for night sleeps but until recently she still only went down in the day if I lay down and held her and sang to her (and she is 2 years old). I didn't mind doing it during the day because I wasn't up all night with her - and it made the difference between night and day quite clear.

Don't know if any of this helps, but hope that you find a solution.

[ToTeenyTots]

Hi Theresa
Sometimes it has got to make you wonder who really is in control in this house!
I know it should be me but I dont even think I am coming a close second any more.
Thanks for the advice I will concentrate on the night sleeps as you suggested as she manages to remain fairly happy with little or no day sleep but I am failing to do so without the night sleep!
Her Dad is coming home tomorrow so she will most probably be a little angel for him and he will wonder what I've been going on about for the last 2 weeks. I'm hoping this will be the case, it usually is. What is it they say about working with animals and small children.
I've ordered a breast pump so I can try to get her to take a bottle at night so I will know how much she has had to drink and therefore stop the internal argument that I have every time she cries in the night over whether she is hungry or not. I know she isnt but I suppose I also know that a 5 min suck will send her off for another hour and that equates to sleep. I dont always win that argument, and that is the problem.
Its amazing what you can convince yourself of at 2 in the morning just to get some sleep!
Anyway I'll let you know how she goes!
This is why the first thing they learn to do is smile! Because even at 2 in the morning after 3 hours of battling to get them to sleep thats all it takes to make you forgive all.
Thanks for letting me have a moan
Hope DD2 gets back on track after the Grandies go.
Cheers
Anna

[mimi]

Hi all

Don't know if this will be of any real help to anyone .... but maybe ...

ACER - The Australian Council for Educational Research - has a booklet called 'Sleep for Baby and Family' which can be purchased for only about $15.00 [including postage and handling].
You can see a brief overview and can purchase it at :-
http://www.acer.edu.au/scripts/Product.php3?parent_id=111&category_id=111&family_code=1018BK

It is written by three professionals and does have a section on tackling sleep problems with a 'kind-of' controlled crying method. It is very much 'what works for you' - but offers the idea that when babies cry with distress, the only adequate response is for a parent to be there - and when the crying or fussing is minimal, i.e. NOT distressed, it is OK to leave them to settle alone and just listen carefully for the baby's cues. The authors stress that if it is necessary for you to modify the 'program' in some way, this is not failure, but changing direction. They also say to 'do what you feel is necessary to settle him to sleep' when you go to comfort.

The booklet also covers things like ages and stages and what may be causing night waking at certain times.

I think it is a 'sensible' book in that it doesn't expect 'one size fits all'! and offers understanding that it is up to the parent and child to work out the process between themselves, as to what works best for them.

I just thought this may be of help to those not getting the results they hoped from following the strict rules of CC. :-)

[draught]

For those who have followed the saga of me trying to get DD2 to sleep through the night you will be pleased to know that after a huge hiccup in the form of teething, a cold and grandparents visiting, all of which lead to her waking and being fed at least two times a night, I took the plunge again two nights ago and after one session of screaming which was nearly the undoing of me, she is now settling herself or settling after me patting her briefly - and is a happier baby for having a good night's sleep!

I have to admit that all the anti-CC stuff got to me and I put off trying again as a result, but, as I said in the anti-thread, it comes down to you knowing your baby and trusting in your own instincts. I am actually quite annoyed with myself for buying into that argument and questioning whether it was the right thing to do, but common sense won out in the end, thank goodness, and I reminded myself that a sleep deprived mother is not a good one in my case. So - the time when I can sleep through the night myself seems to be approaching - yay!!!

hope everyone else is going well too!

[jessica]

Hi all,

Just a note of encouragement for those in the process of CC - we started CC when my little one was about 5months old - she did pretty well and it was a relief! A few months ago she started teething, got a cold, got some more teeth etc. etc. and I fell back into rocking her to sleep because I didn't want her to cry when she already in discomfort! Anyway this was fine because she was falling asleep in my arms after only about 10min!! I thought this was great! About 2 weeks ago she started waking after only 40min sleep and couldn't get herself back to sleep!! My husband stepped in (the stronger one!!) and suggested we get back into CC - and although she still puts up a 10min fight as soon as she sees her sleeping bag - (she has always hated daytime naps!) she is back to her normal 1.5hr sleeps!!

Anyway my point was 'stick with it' - ;)
Good luck all!

[annikel]

Hello all!

Well CC was working great for us, DD was going down with barely any fuss. Until now!

Well it actually started a couple of weeks ago. She refuses to go down without a fight at night time. Now i'm ok with that, as i'm willing to do CC with her, however, she's now vomiting every time i do CC. I've ruled out any illness, as she's perfectly well, and it's been going on for a couple of weeks now. It's really hard to do CC when i have to change her clothes/bedding/wrap in the middle of it. And while i'm holding her she's giving me a big grin saying 'ha mum, i gotcha!'. lol.

Anyway, i was wondering if anyone has dealt with this before? :confused:

Also, during CC, when i go in to her and 'ssshhh ssshhh' her, do i continue that until she settles/stops crying? As i'm going in there now and just keeps crying even with my hand on her chest and me 'sshhhing' her. :confused: