Long birth, still not recovered

[Sarahg]

Hi Girls,
I gave birth to my darling little boy 11 weeks ago. I was hoping for a five hour water birth, but the boy was posterior and I suffered a 37 hour labour - 15 hours of it under epidural on my back. I'm only 5'1" and he was 3590 grams - not little! I had an episiotomy after 2 hours of pushing and a vaccuum extraction to get him out. At the time my temperature spiked, so they dosed us both up on antibiotics. My subsequent stay in hospital was absolutely horrible and just added to my trauma. He was taken to the Special care nursery for observation – so I was by myself with no baby or husband when they finally transferred me to the wards. I was absolutely beside myself I found it very difficult to breastfeed and it took 6-7 days for my milk to finally come in. (not to mention the huge hemorragh with no transfusion or the shock that I was in straight after the birth.)
I had no initial pain in the peri area and only had one ice pack in hospital (now I realise the whole area was numb.)

3 weeks later my whole vag swelled up like a sausage balloon, and I went off to the doc who confirmed I had an infection - not cleared up from the birth. My son then had a severe reaction to the horrible anitbiotics I was put on. I had to wean.

I was in constant pain and described it as a soreness at the front of my vagina (near the urethra opening) and feeling grazed. At my six week check I made my doc do a swab, which came back with nothing. Again at 8 weeks I had an internal swab at my insistence - a minor infection was diagnosed. so more antibiotics.
AT this point I was getting frustrated, and the antib's hadn't made me feel any better. I am constantly exhausted, depressed and have nagging pain in the whole genital and abdominal area. Occaisionally there's also been blood when doing a poo too. I can't walk very far without getting tired, have not been able to walk round the block and it takes me two hours to walk/hobble around the shops. By the end it feels like my bum is about to fall out.
I got my dr to write a referral to a gyno. I saw Dr John Howland at the North West in Brisbane who straight away knew what was wrong.

I have terrible scarring from the birth around the circumference of my vagina. This has not healed properly and is pulling on all the muscles. I also have a rectal tear. THese two injuries are pulling on all the muscles in the area causing them to work over time and weakening them. Hence the pain. At the time I was told it was 2nd degree tearing but I think it was more like 3rd.

I burst into tears when the doc told me. I am having surgery this wednesday 4 april to fix it. I can't carry or pick up anything heavy for four weeks afterwards including my beautiful little boy. I might also need further surgery.

We attempted intercourse once, and haven’t since. The gyno has said not to even attempt it till way after the op (he said I’ll hit the roof in pain if we do). At least we can amuse ourselves in other ways (I can still have an O without too much discomfort).

I am depressed, I spent yesterday in bed all afternoon. In constant discomfort and pain, and regret ever getting pregnant and never want to do it again (though I love my son and think he's amazing).

My husband has been amazing through all of this, but is losing his ability to cope too.

I am going to have counseling after I am recovered from the surgery.

I wish I had stayed private rather than switching to public.

Four out of the five girls I know had posterior first baby’s in January. Only two of us birthed vaginally with our op babies.

I have also posted a version of this under Newbie story under the traumatic births bit.

[SilverStarfish]

:hugs: Wow! What a story... I don't know what to say, other than I'm so glad that you still see your son as the beautiful baby that he is, and that it sounds like you have a very supportive husband. And I think it's also wonderful that you are seeking counselling too - you're a very brave, strong lady!

[javalava]

Good luck for your upcoming op!!! Im so sorry you had to go through all that. Im sure that the public system wasnt to blame. do you think that they did something to cause this?

Both my kids were posterior. They were 10 and 5 hour labours. I really think it just depends on your body, not so much which position the baby is in. Although im sure ill get an arguement on that i just didnt see the trouble. If postirior births are hard id like to see how quick i could have and anterior bub lol.

[PinkBinkie]

Sorry sarahg that you had to go through that. Good on you for seeking help, and going to a gyno when you knew something was not right. I hope the surgery goes well for you and that you are feeling great soon. It's so tough being a new mum when you're feeling well, I can't imagine what you're going through, so :hugs: to you. I had long labours with both my children, 1st posterior. I haemorraged after her birth. My tear and grazes were mostly caused by the doctor who had to put his hand back up there to control the bleeding. Not very pleasant. What us women have to go through hey :eek:
All the best :)

[javalava]

Sorry sarahg that you had to go through that. Good on you for seeking help, and going to a gyno when you knew something was not right. I hope the surgery goes well for you and that you are feeling great soon. It's so tough being a new mum when you're feeling well, I can't imagine what you're going through, so :hugs: to you. I had long labours with both my children, 1st posterior. I haemorraged after her birth. My tear and grazes were mostly caused by the doctor who had to put his hand back up there to control the bleeding. Not very pleasant. What us women have to go through hey :eek:
All the best :)

I just witnessed my best friend give birth to her son on Thursday and her doctor did that! She wasnt at all impressed but i guess it stopped the bleeding and thats the main thing.

Apparently long births cause the hemmoraging. But i dont know why? Does anyone know the cause of that?

[Chumps]

What a hard time you have had :hugs: . I have to admit, as I was reading through your post, I was wondering if you had been a private or public patient. Then I read the bit about wishing you had of stayed private. I know every experience is different, but for myself, I've had one procedure done in a public hospital & it prompted me immediately to take out private health insurance & I will never look back. I really feel for you, I hope you get through this time in your life & start enjoying your life with your hubby & son as you should. Good luck on Thursday. Take one day at a time :) .

[PinkBinkie]

Yes, haemorrage did occur from long labour. I know it has to do with the uterus but not exactly sure what happens. I should have asked!

[Sarahg]

Thank you all for your kind thoughts. Will post to let you know how the surgery goes.:fingerscrossed:

Sarahg

[mum2my4]

:hugs: What a rough start to motherhood you have had.

I hope your surgery goes well and you have an easy recovery from it.

The counselling sounds like a good idea, it always helps to get it all out.

Take care

[mum3]

Hi Sarah,

You poor thing, I can really understand what you went through my labour sounds identical. My first boy was three days pre labour 12 hours of full on 2min contractions, posterior, I too hemoraged and had a fever. My son caught group b strep and nearly died. His agpars were 4 and 6. I had third degree tearing that didnt heal untill my second posterior son was born and ripped me up again a second time. Thank god you are getting it fixed. my first son's birth contributed to my recently failed marriage as I was unable to have sex for the first year without extreme paid. My husband was having plenty of sex though !! just not with me. A pattern he unfortunatly contined throughout the rest of our marriage. I too blame the public system. This would never had happened had i been private. I was begging for a c sec and was repeatedly refused. If I was private they would have given me one before all the damage was done. Good luck with the surgery.

[mum2paige]

:hugs:
Hi Sarah,

Thank goodness you have a good gynae and you can get this fixed. And you've done so well to keep pushing for answers and not just accepting what the public Drs were telling you.

Unfortunately I know all about horrible hospital stays (my birth trauma story is in here too), and how it's not only the birth but the lack of after care that affects you so much. I also had a PPH but luckily had 2 blood tranfusions that helped a lot.

It does put such a strain on a relationship. We didn't have sex properly for 10mths abfter DD was born. You don't think it's that important, but find out it really is!:rolleyes:

Good luck :fingerscrossed: , I hope it all goes well and you are soon on the road to recovery!

Ally

[embohdi]

dear sarah. i too had a similar experience my first baby was posterior and she was also a vacuum baby. i had an episiotomy that did not heal properly and was in alot of pain for a very long time. she was 4 when i finally had the courage to concieve again. my second wasnt posterior but i still needed another episiotomy but because of the scar tissue from no 1 it didnt heal either and i also developed a severe infection and the stitches didnt hold.i had surgery 10 days after my son was born to be resutured. i also have to have surgery for a prolapse as a result. it was very painful and very embarrasing! i wish you well with the op and for a speedy recovery. look after yourself and remember that you are not alone as i am also having more surgery soon too. good luck:fingerscrossed: :hugs:

[Lissbee]

Hi, Sarah - I hope your surgery has gone well. I am so sorry your whole experience of meeting your child was so full-on & traumatic.

My first child was posterior too, and I had 30 hrs of labour. It was such a traumatic event for me too. And I also found the postnatal time difficult, not only due to recovering from the birth physically, but also needing support and validation emotionally for the experience and not being able to find anyone who understood what I had been through and how it affected not only me, but my relationship with my husband.

I have healed physically and emotionally, but it was so hard to find the info & support I needed.

I now run a group called Birthtalk in Brisbane with my sister-in-law who is a midwife. I started the group because I did not want any woman to have to go through what I went through in birth and postnatally without support.

We have been running for 4 years, and have supported many women (& partners) to process their birth, and move on. Some of them have medical complications as a result of their birth too, so we work with many different birth experiences.

Anyway - I just wanted you to know that there are people "out there" who understand the impact a birth experience like yours can have on you. I know it is probably too soon, but I have included info about our next meeting, which is next Tuesday evening. Partners and babes are welcome too. We have the meetings every month.

And if getting along to meetings is simply not possible at the moment, please feel free to contact Deb, my sis-in-law who is Birthtalk's resident midwife & our phone contact. She would be very happy to chat with you about any issues. Her contact details are in the meeting info below.

And if you need a recommendation for a wonderful counsellor for private sessions, we have an excellent counsellor at Bardon who Birthtalk recommends. Just email me at info@birthtalk.org for her details.

I wish you a speedy recovery from your recent operation, and hope things beging to improve for you.


Take care,
Melissa

Meeting Details :

“Healing From a Negative Birth” April 10


for real validation & emotional support after a negative experience of birth
plus tools for making peace with the experience & moving on
with guidance from those who have made the journey
and facilitation by a registered midwife and childbirth educator


We don’t sit about and complain & moan
about how bad our births were!


What happens in these meetings?
We invite women to debrief their birth in the context of gaining clarity about “what happened”, to explore ways of making any future birth a better experience, so the previous birth does not overshadow any upcoming birth. Or, if you are not planning any more babies, to just move on and go back to your family more present and complete.

You don’t have to speak – you can just listen. And it doesn’t matter whether your baby was born last week, or last year…or even last century! Just come along and be with other people who know that birth matters.

For more info
see www.birthtalk.org/BirthWasntGreat.htm <http://www.birthtalk.org/BirthWasntGreat.htm>

Meeting Details

Tuesday, April 10

7:30-9:30pm

Toowong Physio Rehab Centre,

13 Morley St, Toowong



RSVP
Email info@birthtalk.org <mailto:info@birthtalk.org>
Or
Phone Deb on 3878 7915

www.birthtalk.org

[Sarahg]

Hi All,
Thank you for your wonderful messages. It's apalling to find out that so many women go through this, in such a modernised and "lucky" country.

Mum3 - what an awful situation, my heart broke for you.

Melissa, thank you for your supportive message. I just burst into tears. Will contact you offline about the group, which I will definitely attend in the near future.

I got out of hospital two days early, which was nice as it was our one year wedding anniversary this weekend. The op only took about 20 mins, and the pain straight afterwards was fairly minimal (tho there was pain). I am in more pain now - it started on Sunday night - it comes and goes, but panadol is keeping most of it in check (i'm allergic to most other painkillers). The pain is stronger now than before the operation, but I feel a lot better.
I just want to be able to go for a walk again, one step at a time for everything tho! HA ha.

The doc is confident that I won't need more surgery - he told me after the op that he first thought 2-3 goes would fix it, but decided on one during the surgery. I'm sending out positive affirmations that I will only need one surgery.

Love and hugs to all,
s

[fai firinne]

Sarahg, was a beautiful brave person you are, your story moved me to tears. Love and warm thoughts for your continuing recovery. A posterior labour for a first time mother is toughtoughtough. Have you heard of Optimal Foetal Postioning? There are more posterior babies these days because of our sedentary lifestyle. The OFP proponents recommend letting your belly hang while you are on hands & knees for a while each day during the last trimester, to help gravity encourage bub to be forward lying (anterior). I tried it, it worked for me. If you would like to know more, either pm me and I will email you the article; or just google "Optimal Foetal Positioning". I figured it was worth a try and couldn't hurt.
mum3, I'm really sorry for what happened to you. It's heartbreaking. I hope better things ahead come out of this for you.

[Sarahg]

Hi,
I did lots of OFP throughout the pregnancy. IT even worked to turn him when he went breech at 19 weeks (only for a week). I even laboured on my hands and knees when I could. Some babies are just stubborn I think!

It's 2 1/2 weeks post op now and I feel much better. The constant pain has stopped. I just get the occaisional pain, some stabbing and breath taking, but I feel like I'm on the road to recovery. I still can't drive and can only have my son on my lap for a little while, I keep trying to pick him up, but it's too much for me and my husband keeps telling me off when I do!!

Take care all.....

[Mischief]

Sarah, your story sounded so much like mine. You are most definately not alone.

Goodluck when you go to Birth Talk. Wish we had them in Tassie. :(

[Mischief]

Yes, haemorrage did occur from long labour. I know it has to do with the uterus but not exactly sure what happens. I should have asked!
I think its because the uterus is so tired from a long labour that the muscles dont contract properly.

I was on a sintocin (sp?) Drip for 24 hours after Oliver was born to keep me contracting.

[Tea Lady]

Sarah..... I'm so sorry this has happened, and that I missed this thread :eek:

I'll send you a PM :hugs:

[Sarahg]

It's now 3 months post op, and I feel like a new woman. Yeah!!

I'm still mad about what happened, and am truly disgusted about my subsequent treatment in hospital after the birth. But I'm moving on!

However my gp thinks that my cervix has not closed up 100% so I have to have some progesterone treatment. Grrrr.

I love the support that everyone offers on this website, thanks to everyone who has replied to me and replied to all the other marvellous women (and fella's too) out there.

[PinkBinkie]

thats great sarahg.........glad you are finally on your way to a full recovery, all the best :thumbsup: