Don't know what to do :(

[Foxymoron]

My 3yo DD currently still has a boobie before bed. The only thing is, she can stay on for ages and get very cranky if I take her off and she's not ready..... Other times she's fine. The problem is my nipples are hyper sensitive due to being pregnant, and she has a mouth full of teeth. When she dozes she naturally bites down a bit, and if I try to take her off, she screams. The past couple of nights I've had to take her off due to the pain being pretty unbearable. My big dilemma is how to comfort her? She won't let me cuddle her, or anyone for that matter, when she wants boobie that isn't forthcoming. I've posted here in the AP thread because we are practising child led weaning... I'm not about to force her off after all this time! I just don't know how to deal with her distress when she won't let me comfort her any other way.

[giggles]

Hi Keara,

I don't have a solution for you but hope you find some help. I bet Janet F will have the winning advice for you.

Hope everything works out!

[H&B'sMum]

If it is only before bedtime, have you read "The no cry sleep solution" I can't think of the author at the moment but it is very good for us NP/AP parents. It talks about different strategies to help your child go to sleep/bed in the way we prefer.
Good luck with it all.

[Supermum]

Hi Keara - No I can't help either but would suggest you send JanetF a PM ... she'll have loads of appropriate advice and tips for you.

[JanetF]

Oooh it's nice to be wellregarded but I dunno how much help I can be. I really sympathise with the pregnancy sensitivity :( How verbal is your little one? Can you talk about how the boobies are sore/tired/sad/sick whatever she understands? Be back later to talk more :)

[Foxymoron]

I guess all I can do is have a little whinge about it :( She can understand the concept of sore boobies.... and I tell her they need a rest before she has them again. But it's little consolation when you are at that "Veruca" age... she wants it now! When I'm out at school etc she falls asleep without it, so I know it can be done. I just wish I could manage to get her to accept shorter feeds, then we'd both be happy. It's awful to see her so upset and for me to be unable to fix it, bedtime should be a cosy thing, not a time of upset for us both.

[JanetF]

I hear you :( Perhaps a change in routine to something else she finds fun but relaxing? A long talk about how the boobies are sore and need a rest but they'll be back tomorrow and then she can have booby? You're doing such a wonderful thing for your wee one. AP ain't about taking the easy way out and there you are doing your very best. Hugs to you. Have you looked on kellymom.com to see if she has any ideas? *hugs*

[can't wait to be a mum]

I have a friend who uses this method with great success with potty training weaning off the dummy etc etc.
She will sit down and discuss the situation with her child, then they will both decide on what "present" the child will receive when they have completed the weaning/ potty training etc. and what she will then do is make a countdown poster very bright colourful getting her child to help. she places the poster at the childs eye level. and after every success they can put a sticker on the countdown until of course they get to the end and get their "present". She has found that this works without to many tears at all.

Or you said that she goes to bed without it when you are not there. what about getting your partner to put her to bed for a week while you go out for a drive while he is putting her to bed perhaps??

[Malin]

I'm not sure if this is going to work for you, but would you be able to let her have little sucks, then explain it really hurts and let her have a little such again..
Me and my son did this after he was 3 years of age, not due to pain I just feel we were ready for taking little steps, he was allow to suck as often he wanted but just for a short time.
Some one else I talked to had to do this due to pain, she was pregnant too, and this really worked for her too.
I know you're looking for other ways to settle her but it might be hard as all she want is to have a breastfeed...

Good luck I really hope you both will be able to meet in the middle somewhere.
I totally lift my hat to you for wanting her to selfwean......

Take Care Malin

[JanetF]

Does she understand counting to 10? Some mamas say "You can have booby till I get to 10" then they count and the child pops off and goes to play/sleep/whatever.

[Mataamua]

Hi,
Dont mean to sound dumb, But is self weaning very important to the child and why, I had never heard of this, I am feeding my bub and she has reflux, and everyone says I should put her on the bottle even my partner thinks its my fault that she has reflux because of my milk, I intended to feed till bub is 12 months old and then I was going to wean her. please share your words of wisdom about this self weaning buisness. Shaani:)

[Foxymoron]

[and everyone says I should put her on the bottle even my partner thinks its my fault that she has reflux because of my milk

OMG WHAT? :eek: I think you should address the severe lack of education and understanding in your family before it destroys your BF relationship! Human milk is ideal for your baby, and reflux isn't caused by mothers milk!

The WHO ( world health organisation) reccomends breastfeeding for the first two years for your child to have the best start at life. Around the world, and I'm not talking about the western world, most children self wean, around the ages of 3-4 years.

Why is it important? Well, it's important to me :) Bonding and secure attachment lay the foundations for a happy and confident child. I know PLENTY of children who still have a dummy or comfort object at this age.... they still need it! Old ladies in shopping centres, and other well meaning but interfering types will tut tut you for extended breastfeed/allowing your child a dummy/blankie etc... but then they haven't studied neurophysiology have they? In short, I want my kids "hard wired" to be happy, resiliant and intelligent..... To just turn around and say no to my daughter now flies in the face of what I know about childhood development. When it comes down to my discomfort versus what I feel is best for my child, there is no competition....

Hopefully JanetF has some good links for you to read up about reflux...

edited for spelling errors :)

[JanetF]

Yay for your breastmilk :) If bm causes reflux why do ff babies have it too? ;)

Check the rest of this link for much more info but this jumped out at me:
http://www.kellymom.com/babyconcerns/reflux.html

Breastfeed! Reflux is less common in breastfed babies. In addition, breastfed babies with reflux have been shown to have shorter and fewer reflux episodes and less severe reflux at night than formula-fed babies [Heacock 1992]. Breastfeeding is also best for babies with reflux because breastmilk leaves the stomach much faster [Ewer 1994] (so there’s less time for it to back up into the esophagus) and is probably less irritating when it does come back up.

There are lots of ways to deal with reflux before even resorting to drugs. An osteopath is your first stop, also homeopaths who can give you very gentle but effective treatments. Babies in slings often find relief from reflux too through being upright more often. And when your child is bf at least you know that whatever she's keeping down (which is more than you think) is her optimal and appropriate nutrition.

Like Keara said, WHO recommends a minimum of 2 years bf and the world weaning age is about 4, I think. Try this for 101 reasons (and I know there are more!) why bf is best for your baby AND best for you!
http://promom.org/101/index.html

[Mataamua]

Thankyou for your comments, yes, i know its hard not having support about the breast feeding, But i intend to keep breast feeding my bub , regardless of what anyone says.

[Foxymoron]

:D That's great, and hopefully you can help your partner understand that it's not about your milk. I'd be upset if my DH thought something I did caused my child to be ill!