Older bub at birth?

[KapowSchazam]

Not sure if this is the right place to post this or not, but when I have my next bub (:fingerscrossed:), I was hoping to have Bianca with DH and I, and to cut the cord with her dad - is this sort of thing ok in a 'natural birth' situation (obviously not c-sect or anything). I live in Brissie - would most/all hospy's be ok with this?

Not that I'm pg atm or anything, but I've been wondering this for a while...

TIA!!!

[Littletreasures]

when i had my M/W appt through the birth center at Gold Coast Hospital they are more then happy to have other children in the room while you birth but there has to be a support person there for them as well in case it all gets to much for them and they need to leave.... Maybe just ask the hospital that you would plan on giving birth at ...

[punkbaby]

I thought of having DS (he was 2) when i had DD but he was worried about me even when i was only in minor pain just getting to hospital in the car he was a little panicky! He waited out side with DH who tag teamed with mum and my sister. It was a really quick labour! He did come in straight after the birth though and he was so sweet, he sat there looking at dd with his mouth wide open saying wow baby!
I think its fine if Bianca doesnt see you under stress, (which is hard to avoid) maybe arrange someone there to bring her in at the end like i did. Just my thoughts anyhow

[KapowSchazam]

Hmmm good point about B getting worried about me... perhaps if I had a doula for me, and dh was with Bianca, like bring her in between contractions, and maybe even at the end, as I'm actually giving birth...:detective:

ETA: dh was aparrently 'bored' last time, cos it was taking so long - not wanting to sound catty, but not really putting all my eggs in the dh basket for help IYKWIM.

LOL - bub's heart rate dropping, then all the tests sure livened thing up for him though! :rolleyes:

[SassyMummy]

I had a thread about this a while back, and most repsonses were either:

"I haven't done it and I think it would be a negative experience for me and/or older child."

OR

"I've done it and it was a really positive thing/older child didn't pay to much attention."

Considering all the women who HAD done it didn't have a "my child is scarred for life" type of story, I know what I'll be doing.

I think you just have to make sure your child has his/her own support person who can entertain him/her, take him/her home/out of the room if things get complicated etc.

I want my daughter to be there because she's a part of my family and I think it would be lovely to have her experience that (even if she doesn't really pay attention/care at the time), and so that she can see that birth is just a natural process of life... as is pain.

I'm lucky in that DD doesn't get TOO worried if I'm hurting/sick, so hopefully she'll continue not caring too much so it won't freak her out at all.

Even if your son/daughter DOES get freaked out, just have his/her support person take him/her out and the problem is solved. At least you can't regret the decision to keep your older child out of the room if you at least try. Worst case scenario: Your older child gets a bit upset and then leaves the room. Not a biggie really...

[mamabearof3]

I'm one of those "I did it and it was wonderful"
In regards to children getting distressed it really comes down to how you have prepared your child. I spent a lot of time talking about mummy being in some pain and making noises, screaming and grunting etc. But because I had experience my first birth I knew I didn't scream during birth, I definately grunted though so I rethought what I discussed with him and talked more about the grunting and seeing the blood.

In preparation for number 3 I went through it all again with both my boys and watched a lot of birth videos with them too so they at least saw what was going to happen, the noises, the blood, the baby and we worked out some jobs for each of them to do and go through that all with the children's support person.

In the end I put them both to bed while I was labouring and got dh to wake them as I was pushing and only the eldest woke in time to just miss the birth but see his new baby was a girl.

[Refresh]

I didnt do it and I dont think I would but I think that it can be a great idea:)

Try and get into the Birth Centre and the RWH:) They wil be all for it - very supportive:yes: You ned to book in when you find out you are pregnant and they draw a ballot at 16 weeksish. They dont have a catchment area....if the main part of the hospital tells yo uthat htey do, ringthe BC direct.

I htink the main thing they say is to have a support person there who is solely responsible for the child so that if they need to leave/sleep/eat/whatever, there will be someone there to cater to their needs:)

Good luck!

[chant]

I agree with the others. My kids have been at their siblings' births and it has been wonderful. Both my second and my third were born at home, which made it easy to let this happen.

My son was 2 when his sister was born. He was totally able to tell the difference between a contraction and other pain. The only time he became concerned was when I was having an internal and groaned. He had a mantra ""Contractions make the baby come out". He definitely needed someone whose only job was to care for him (being an active toddler). He helped cut the cord. The feeling was very much that she was öur" baby, not "Mommy's baby who is displacing me".

When my 3rd was born, the other kids only woke up half an hour before she was born. My son, then 6, was totally unfazed by the whole thing even tho' he has no conscious memory of the other birth. My daughter, then 4, was quiet and a little concerned - but then she had just woke up and I was having final stage contractions! I had the chance to give each of them a lovely cuddle (in between contractions) which was great.

They missed the actual birth as they had gone to the kitchen to bake the baby a happy birthday cake (this was our plan, to keep them occupied during the labour if they got bored). The baby made an extremely quick arrival, catching a few people by surprise. Anyway they came back in to meet her, but then went back out to finish the cake!!

They needed to leave the room because I felt like I needed *total* silence during the labour and they were just not able to keep that quiet!

[PunkyDiva]

:thumbsup: for this thread ladies.
I had been meaning to ask as well but don't need to now.

My four children were at home with me during labour and were def not upset by my "noises" rather offering to rub my back, get me a cuppa, pillows etc. but birth was at hospy so they didn't get to see as we had only one support person to care for all four plus her two.

Really, really, want an unassisted home birth if I go again. Might have to compromise with a midwife present in the house as DH is not 100% sure I would know soon enough that I needed medical attention and as long as she stays clear of me that should be fine.
This prob sounds bizarre coming from someone who's going to be a midwife.

[gremily]

While I was pregnant there was a documentary on TV showing what happens from conception through to birth. Dd1 (who was 7 at the time) was entranced and utterly enthralled by it. It was then and there we would see if she wanted to be at the birth of her sibling. She couldn't have said "Yes" fast enough!

She couldn't be there by herself though, in case it ended up being too much for her and wanted to leave. So my we asked my Mum (my parents live in SA) to be there to. It just so happened my dad flew in the day I went into labour so he came too!

We had explained to dd1 that mummy would possibly say words she never usually does, and that I would be in a lot of pain but I would be ok afterwards.

My labour was 8 hrs (11:30pm - 7:30am), and dd1 stayed up the whole time. After about 6 hrs I clearly remember hearing dd1 say "This is soooooo boring":eek: :laughing:
When dd2 arrived the Dr got dd1 over to see if it was a boy or girl. Dd2's face said it all, she had got the long awaited sister she always wanted!

We were in the RPA labour ward. The midwives were fantastic and thought it was wonderful I had so much support there with me. Even though Mum, Dad and Dd1 in her sleeping bag, just basically sat in the corner of the room on a lovely couch, it was wonderful to have them all there. I would do it again in a heartbeat.:)

[JATS]

Definatly want my kids to experience 'the miracle of birth' too. I know my family will give me hell about it but think if the child is well prepared it can only be a good thing!:thumbsup:

[Duchessa]

"I haven't done it and I think it would be a negative experience for me and/or older child."

OR

"I've done it and it was a really positive thing/older child didn't pay to much attention."

:laughing: Ain't that the TRUTH!

I am looking forward to sharing the birth of our next with my kids (they'll be 2 3/4) - it is one of the attractions of having a homebirth for me.

It is nice to hear people's experiences - great thread.

I remember my step sister being born in our house when I was about 5. It is a very special memory now, and definitely helps me feel like she is a real sister.