Our loss

[uniquelywonderful]

Tuesday I had my follow-up ultrasound as the previous one showed some bleeding. I had since stopped however, over the weekend I had serious cramping. Senographer showed me our little bundle blob & continued doing her thing in silence......she didn't seem like the chatting type & since I was having yet another internal, I was abit too sore to chat myself.

Wednesday I went to see my doctor re ultrasound follow-up results. He hadn't received them yet so asked if I cld pop next door to get them which I did. With them in hand I sat in the waiting room & thought I'd have a quick peep.
NO FETAL MOVEMENT OR FETAL HEARTBEAT.

I tried hard to stop the tears, the doctor was really lovely & told me to go straight to A&E for a D&C.

Nije has been such a wonderful support through this. He has shown me such unconditional love, I feel totally blessed & looked after. In such a time of sadness, he has made me feel like a princess.

To other parents out there, did you grieve? Do you still remember your loss or do you eventually forget & move on? I definitely am not ready to try for another baby for @ least a year. I take my hat off to mothers out there who find the strength to move on & continue on the journey of growing their family. I just don't have the strength but hopefully in time, I will, we will.

[Melo]

I'm so sorry for your loss :( :hugs:

[Bron]

I'm really sorry for your loss.

To answer your questions - yes, I did grieve. A great deal. No you don't forget it. You never really get over it. You get through it, it makes you a stronger person, and you cope with it better, but the sadness will remain with you.

As for trying again, some people find that getting right back into the swing of things is what they need to do to help them cope. I didn't. I was clearly under a lot of stress, particularly after my first miscarriage - I had headaches and nausea every day for 3 months. I needed a good few months after both losses, to grieve, heal and give myself time to deal with the stress.

And when you do fall pregnant again, the anxiety doesn't really go away, but you learn to cope with it, and then you grow to feel optimistic again.

You are in my thoughts.

[SorenLorensen]

To other parents out there, did you grieve? Do you still remember your loss or do you eventually forget & move on? I definitely am not ready to try for another baby for @ least a year. I take my hat off to mothers out there who find the strength to move on & continue on the journey of growing their family. I just don't have the strength but hopefully in time, I will, we will.





im so sorry for your loss :hugs:

i still do grieve but then again i am all new to this aswell, i only lost my baby on the 16th. it is totaly understanable for you to not want to try again for a while, the best thing to do is follow your heart. i am not sure where i am with it all at the moment but i think i might be one of those who just wants to grow my family and move on that way, i will never foget this baby as it will always be my second but i feel i need to get the third happening some time soon to move on from the second if that makes scence.
we all handle things in such a different way, becasue no two people are the same.
as i said befor just follow your heart, you will know when it is right :hugs:

[kiah]

I just wanted to say i am very very sorry for your loss.:hugs:

[iluvmeboyz]

ive never had a loss but im so sorry for yours :hugs: :hugs:

[wannabemum]

Sending :hugs: , love and light to you. I can not understand or fathom what you are feeling right now, but hope that you come to the understanding (in your own time) that you will see that soul again, it just wasn't the right time....... :hugs:

[Mummy2Noah]

:hugs: so sorry for your loss hunni:hugs:

[*Sparkles*]

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss :hugs:

I haven't had a M/C so I can't give you any advice on how to grieve. However, I can relate to your feelings regarding having another bub.

I had a difficult pregnancy and fairly traumatic birth experience which resulted in PND and post natal complications "down there". After 7 weeks I had to go back into hosptal and have corrective surgery. My feelings were so negative about the whole thing and there was no way I was having another bub. But as they say, time is a great healer. So now I am finally warming to the idea and I actually think that I will have another bub next year (but with a caesar!).
My point is that at the moment it is all very fresh in your mind, but time will help heal and you never have to stop the feelings for your lost angel. But there is another special little bundle of joy just waiting for you to bring him/her into this world, and you'll know when your ready.

Take care :)

[Herchy]

Hi there.
Sorry to hear of your loss.
It is such a hard thing to go through and you will probably never truly 'get over it', but with time, it gets better.
I lost my first last August.
We only knew I was pregnant for 1 week. I had a dating scan on the Tuesday, and had to have an internal as the little one was very young. Nothing was said to me about the scan except that there was definantly a sac there and that I was about 6 weeks along.
That night, whilst out at tea celebrating with close friends, I statred to bleed.
24 hours later I had a complete m/c at home on my own.
My partner and I were devastated as anyone would be. Although I am Pregnant again, will be 25 weeks on Tuesday, I still think of what could ahve been. I would have been due this week.
I cried for a full week after my loss. I talked to as many people as I could about it, but I didn't know anyone who had gone through it that was a close friend. Noone really understood how I was feeling.
It probably took me about a month before I didn't get teary.
If you want something to remember your little one by, perhaps Plant a tree in your garden and write a letter to your little one and place that in with the tree.
I found that I didnt really feel the need to Symbolise my loss in anyway as I will never forget it, but I have heard that planting a tree etc has helped alot of others deal with their loss.
I was pregnant again within 2 months of my m/c. There are times where I have freaked out about it, but we're doing quite well. My partner is probably not coping as well as I am. He has a few negetive thoughts and is worried about another loss.

To you and your partner. Take all the time you need to greive.
If it helps, find something you can both do to help put u at ease a little.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time. If you ever need to talk, you're more than welcome to PM me:thumbsup:
Sorry this was such a long post!!!!
Feels good to get it all out.

Best wishes.
Nicky

[BubbaNoogie]

I am so sorry to hear of your loss:hugs: :hugs:

I am still grieving the loss of my twins, it will be 2 years in May. I will never forget.

Take the time to grieve. Be good to yourself. It is different for every person.

When you are ready to try again, I wish you the best of luck.:hugs: :hugs:

[*Chels*]

Hi Lisa
Im so sorry to hear about this:hugs: Ive lost your mobile number,but send me a PM if you would like to catch up sometime next week.Take care xxx

[Pebbles]

I am so sorry for your loss. What a terrible way to find out such awful news.
I remember my loss very well, it was almost 3 months ago now and although I am so very lucky to be expecting again I am still so sad about loosing a baby.
I was able to move on straight away but at first I was so upset and angry at the world that trying seemed way too hard. It took a few weeks to get through it and my DH was wonderful during this time but I dont think we will ever get over it. We grieved alot and even planted a rose in our babies memory.
I wish you all the best for the future.
:hugs:

[Blessed Mum]

I too just wanted to say how sorry I am :hugs:

[millymoo]

Hi

I just wanted to say how sorry we are to hear your news.

:hugs:

[uniquelywonderful]

Thank you wonderful people for your kind words & especially to those who have been brave enough to share their story. It's really helpped me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

To the Mummys who are currently preggy after having suffered a loss, I congratulate you all & wish you good health & happiness.

Thank you so very very much everyone :hugs:

[bronny-jane]

i grieved for awhile with my first, this might sound bad, but yes i forget about them... i do get angry and sad for a week or 2, but im so blessed already with my dd's, i had an early mc not too long ago and im over it, it was a shame it happened and i was feeling guilty and angry and sad all at once, but now im fine...i hope you get better soon....best of luck,