Think my DD might be being bullied

[Elfin]

My dd is at prep this year and she has been saying some things about this particular boy, kind of minor things like he won't share with her or doesn't want to sit next to her etc.

However last week he and another boy punched her on the back, no bruising and she told the duty teacher so they got into trouble.

But she tells me this one boys tells her he hates her and not the other girls, and tries to smack her and is generally being a **** to her and I didn't know any of this was going on.

She is such a nice little girl, really gentle and social so I don't know why she is being victimised. I know she is telling the truth about it.

I am having a parent teacher interview on Tuesday and was going to raise the back hitting incident and find out what went on but I am so fired up now that I think I should raise it with the classroom teacher first thing tomorrow. I just don't want my dd to be subjected to anymore **** for another 2 days.

[melfunction]

I would raise it with the teacher asap. At least that way, the teachers are aware what is happening to your dd and can maybe keep an eye out.
Bullying should not be tolerated.

:hugs: to you Elf

[Mariposa]

elfin thats terrible. no mum ever wants their child to be bullied, and when it does happen, its awful.

i would definitely bring it up to the teacher tomoorw, that way she maybe able to speak to that boys mother, and then let you know at the interview.

[xkwzit]

I agree with the others, this is not OK. Raise it with the teachers tomorrow and then harass them about what action they have taken.

Shouldn't they contact the parents of the other boys the same day you complain? Do they have a bullying policy? Get a copy tomorrow so you know how they are "supposed" to handle it. Or maybe get the teacher to put in writing what she will be doing about it. I wouldn't feel satisfied with a "I'll talk to the parents" response.

If it is making your DD unhappy at school, it jeopardises her education and her whole attitude towards school.

I hope you get great answers / info and a plan tomorrow.

Cheers

[rynosmum]

Hey special Elf,

I don't have a child of that age so really don't have a lot of good advice but I believe I would want to be talking to the school tomorrow to see what they can do.

If that fails, gimmee a call and I'll send little Ry over to sort 'em out :p :laughing:

Give your beautiful little girl a cuddle for me - it's so disappointing that innocence can be taken away so easily - poor little sweetheart.:hugs:

[PunkyDiva]

Our school has an excellent plan in place that appears to work.

Students involved and if rqd, parents, are talked to seperately then like a mediation takes place with the counsellor having both students telling the other their story then discussions on why behaviour and maybe the retaliation was inappropriate and consequences of repeat behaviour but mainly concentrating on getting these kids to respect each other. The idea behind being to get the bully to understand how their behaviour adversly affects the other child.
If this doesn't work then I was told the police need to be involved by the parent.
Very close to zero tolerance of bullying but very necessary.
:hugs: for you and your DD.
I would also act immediately and not wait for another incident to occur.
As a parent I have no wish to encourage my children to retaliate but they are all learning a fighting/protection form of martial arts.

[Elfin]

Thank you all so much luffly ladies:hugs: I had no idea there were any problems at school and she just opened up yesterday.

Hopefully given this child is still only 4, this behaviour can be nipped in the bud. It sounds like it has been slowly escalating. Maybe the reason she has been targetted is that she is so girly, I don't really know.

Thank you all for your support and hopefully we won't need Ry, to sort things out :laughing:

I will give you an update when I have one:)

[rynosmum]

Best of luck this morning. You're a great Mummy.

....and my offer still stands (although I'm not sure how much good he'd do apart from being awestruck with your little girl :laughing: :p )

[Elfin]

Thanks so much RM:) I am sure R would love to play princesses and fairies with my dd:laughing:

[Nickster]

Elfin? I just found your thread - your poor little darling, and poor Mummy....good luck to you with the school this morning. Children can behave just atrociously sometimes. Best to nip it in the bud. Let us know how you go.

And here's a hug for you both!:hugs:

[Elfin]

Thanks for those hugs Nic:)

Well here is the update. I went and saw the classroom teacher this morning and she was great. She didn't know any of this was happening and she is going to pull this boy aside and have a chat with him and tell him to leave dd alone and that using the hate word is unacceptable at school. She is also going to inform his parents and wants me to let her know if any more bullying happens straight away.

She did say this particular boy has some 'challenging behaviours' he is the youngest in the class and has a lack of social skills, she was not excusing the behaviour but said it may be his misguided way of trying to get dd's attention. She said despite that, he doesn't have the right to impact on someone else or make school miserable for them.

So hopefully that resolves things. Will keep you updated if anything else happens. This parenting business is a tough gig at times!

[melfunction]

I'm glad you feel better Elf. I know I couldn't have waited until Tuesday ;)

Hopefully your gorgeous girl will now have a bully-free year :yes:

[Elfin]

Thanks Mel, no I didn't want to wait either. I was so cranky yesterday when I found out about too. I also feel for the bully's parents as they probably have no idea and his mum is actually very nice. I think it would be hard too if your child was the bully. But despite all that you got to nip it in the bud while they are young because it will only get worse.

So am hoping that there will be no more trouble, but if so I won't let it go. Am definitely one of 'those' parents:laughing:

[melfunction]

So am hoping that there will be no more trouble, but if so I won't let it go. Am definitely one of 'those' parents:laughing:

You have reminded me of a case in NZ where a 13yr girl was being bullied..school did nothing, so good ole Dad bailed the bully up after school one day. He was charged with assault (for pushing this kid against a wall), but is his daughters hero :D

[Elfin]

Oh dear, can't see myself going that far, I meant I am good at complaining:devil6:

[xkwzit]

That sounds great Elf

[Philippa]

I'm in awe of these Prep Teachers! It must be a handful looking after so many small children. I'm glad that you DD's has a teacher that can take the time to resolve this before it became something bigger.
I just signed a petition to increase the number of hours that a prep teacher has allocated a teacher's aide. I think that at this age, one person isn't enough to keep an eye on all of them. If you are interested, here is the link:
http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/petition-to-increase-teacher-aide-hours-for-queensland-prep-classes.html (http://www.gopetition.com/petitions/petition-to-increase-teacher-aide-hours-for-queensland-prep-classes.html)
I've got a few years to go before my DS goes to prep...a few more years to teach him "them social skills", he don't have many at the moment...sounds like the boy in your DDs class and mines only 2.5yrs!
Cheers
Philippa

[Elfin]

My dd said she had a good day at school today as the bully had been nice to her. So it seems whatever the teacher said must of had an impact. Fingers crossed that it lasts and it is all resolved:fingerscrossed:

[Elfin]

Phillipa I agree with you, more teacher aide hours would definitely be a good thing.

[Mariposa]

im glad that you got it sorted out elf. and its nice to have just read that your dd had a good day today. hopefully it will stay this way for you.

[Refresh]

Aww, I didnt see this until now Elf...big hugs to you and your DD....bullying sucks:(

:hugs: :hugs: