has my dream been squashed already? (bit of a vent)

[tanni_83]

i was sitting here looking at one of the clothie sites and i seen really cute nappy and dh was getting dressed for work and i looked at him and said 'how cute is this' and he came and looked and smiled and that was about it.

i then said to him. "you do realise ill be using a bit of that baby money on nappies right" and he goes, "how many will you need" i reply, probably a fair few, we'll have 2 in nappies" and he gave a bit of a groan and then goes "i thought we were going to use that money to get out of a bit of debt".

i felt heart broken :crying: yes i know the money should help us pay for things but we get the money for HAVING THE BABY shouldnt at least a good portion of it go towards the child itself. we also will need to get a new pram and a few other things.

its nothing new to him, ive told him for ages (since i discovered MCN) our next baby is going to be in MCN and if elise was still in nappies so would she, but it seems that its just gone in and out (men :rolleyes: ) and now i feel like ill have to really fight for my 'dream' of our kids in cloth to come true :(

sorry to put this onto you ladies, but i knew you would totally understand my point of view!!

thanks for listening

[EskimoMumma]

Tell him tough. ITs what I would say to DP. Explain to him how exactly you guys will stay out of debt constantly buying nappies? Explain this is a one off thing, something that, surprisingly, lasts forever.I wish i was able to get MCN's but i wasnt into them, and now i am adn regret not getting them with the BB.

[Billy]

:hugs: Babe...

Its stupid really because you will buy nappies one way or another. And with MCN you will save a sh!tload in the long run. :yes:

Don't get discouraged you have months to wear him down LOL... :devil6: ;)

[EskimoMumma]

Ah yes you do have a while.

WEll no big purchases from him for the next years if hes sooo keen on getting out of debt :p :devil6:

[oleander]

I would be using the baby bonus money to buy the nappies, pram and whatever else you need for the baby.

I would tell him if he wants to get out of debt then go and find a second job.

[Billy]

Mhahahahaha EM :devil6: :laughing: ;) :D

[becstar]

Go to the section where it tells you how much money you save long term by using cloth and tell him YOU ARE helping to get you out of debt. One of the reasons I am using MCN is to save money long term. Spending a few hundred on nappies now will save you thousands in the long term. even more with two in nappies.
Here is the details on how much you will save:
http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/showthread.php?t=62852
Print this out and give it to your partner......good luck, hope you get your way.
Bec

[RedPanda]

MCNs are great, but if money is tight you can always build your stash gradually. When I decided to go cloth, I bought a few BBH and used them with terry flats and disposables. Terry flats are a good option if cloth is important to you. Just find a good fold that suits your baby (I have just discovered the jo fold, and I'm so excited about it!) and invest in a few good covers (about $25 each).

Good luck with the nappies!:fingerscrossed:

[tanni_83]

thanks Eskimomummy. Yep i think will just tell him tough, but just the way it happened made me rather upset, and of course coz im pregnant and have hormones flighing left right and centre i had a :crying:

He did see me with tears in my eyes and said, 'sorry i didnt mean to upset you'. but im pregnant and its my prerogative to get upset about anything and everything i want to :laughing:

[tanni_83]

wow lots of replies in that time...see what happens when u get distracted by a child...how rude :rolleyes: :laughing:

[tanni_83]

I would be using the baby bonus money to buy the nappies, pram and whatever else you need for the baby.

I would tell him if he wants to get out of debt then go and find a second job.

hmm not much of an option. he works 12 hr shifts 5 days a week.... this is why i wanted to use the BB money.

[GraceUnhearing]

:hugs: to you sweet

i soent alt of the baby bonus on nappies when i should have been paying of other things
hehehe

just put aside say 600 or 700 that'll get you a very nice stash :)

then use the rest for debts

[tanni_83]

to you sweet
i spent alto of the baby bonus on nappies when i should have been paying of other things
hehehe
just put aside say 600 or 700 that'll get you a very nice stash :)
then use the rest for debts

thats what i was going to do, but round it up to a nice even grand :D

seems he's had a few ideas of his own :rolleyes: some how we're supposed to be buying a new king sized bed in there somewhere too...how i have no idea, but he's a guy, i guess the logical thinking part doesnt accor to him :no:

[Jodiee]

Heay babe

I have built my stash, and have a really great one going, mainly second hand.. I have bought from here, from buyena, oztion, and ebay.. You can get great nappies for quite a few dollars less than new, and most mcn users love and look after their precious nappies, and if you get say 1 or 2 a fortnight at $10- $15 each, you will have quite a stash ready when babe comes..
I actually made a big mistake, and bought heaps of Newborn sized nappies, which are only up to 6kg, so make sure you get osfm, I regret getting the tiny ones, smalls are ok, cause they will last for a while, but not NB.. (im sure Ill be selling them in the next couple of months....)

I am also buying a package with my money, I told dh he has no choice, a once off $$ of a couple of hundred, or $20 a week on disposible wipes and nappies = $1000 a year.. especially if you also still have Elise in naps, you'll save a ton! (especially if you go cloth wipes etc, etc)..

HTH
Jodie

it let me edit that time!!

[EskimoMumma]

In my experience, acting mood and grumpy for two weeks before exploding into tears and how could you do this to me usually gets me what i want.

Not healthy I know but only way I could get my man to fully understand a situation. Eh.

[Jodiee]

Ooh, and I meant to add, and it wont let me edit, lol, umm, I bought the naps one at a time, and didnt show him, until I had the lot, lol, he didnt even realise the missing $10 - $20 a fortnight going out of the account (instead of doing like really nice fairly expensive meals everynight, I started doing cheaper meals, and saved money that way, just to fuel my nappies.. iykwim, ie: we would have a big roast dinner twice a week, I dropped it to once a week, and had spag bog or sausages and veg instead, same with takeaway, I really stopped having alot of takeaway, and he didnt even notice.. we have alot of kids, and are on a really tight budget too!!)..

[cheezelkat]

I also recommend using flats with good covers to build up a stash.

If you can sew you can make bum jumpers, or knit your own.

Terry flats - $25/12

Snappi - $9 for 3 at big W, or about $4 each

I also use terry pilchers from Big W (the no PVC ones), to avoid the snappi being ripped off - $4/3

Wool to knit a soaker - $6 or op shop 100% wool jumpers to use as covers

Lanolin - $6? for a tube of lanisoh to waterproof the covers

[tanni_83]

thanks for your replies everyone

jodie....the whole reason im getting them with the BB money is because we are really scrimping for money at the moment, we are really that broke :( that $20 a fortnight would be very much noticed...dh knows where pretty much every $ is going so we can afford to pay the bills, which are already lagging in atm, so it really isnt an option in our case :o :( thanks for the advice though :hugs:

[CurlyG]

:hugs: to you.
I agree with what everyone has said, especially the part about having a while yet to wear him down :D Just cry everytime you talk about how you SO wanted to do something to help the environment, but because he wants to pay off debt you can no longer make that wonderful contribution on behalf of your children to their planet and :ecomcity: and a few more :crying: thrown in there and you'll be right! LOL!

Or, you could just show him the cold hard facts regarding the cost difference between MCN and sposies. That's what I did and it worked!

[themumbug]

oh men make me laugh, the reality is that the baby is going to need nappies weather it comes from that money or his wage and the baby can't go around without nappies.
the money is given to you to get you the things you need for a baby so the baby should get what it needs, it is far from the babies fault that you have debt and it would still be there even if you weren't having another baby and he would have to find a way to pay the debt. Tell him to live as if you were not getting that money and he will have to come up with another way to pay the debt.
hope this was some help to you. Erin:banghead:

[Little_Toad]

How about the use the $ to get out of debt by paying off your credit card and the interest you save per month buy some nappies!

[beeware]

So many great ideas! Good luck Tanni in wearing him down over the months.
Probably a package deal is the most economical. And you can also tell him that MCNs have 2nd hand value or they can be used for 'nother baby. Certainly sposies can't!

[pookiesossige]

Go terry flats to help out with a smaller stash!
I have MCN's but we have actually gone BACK to using terry flats lots and lots of the time!!! Strange, huh?? But now we are REALLY noticing the savings. Really really. I too got all excited about the Jo fold!

I got some 100% polyester fleece from Spotlight, cut it up into hourglass-shaped liners to keep Ariene's bum dry. Got 2 snappies. I have 1 pul cover, one on the way, and I just learnt to knit... soo much fun and so relaxing at the same time. So I don't feel like I'm 'pushing' DH into the whole MCN thing- I've always taken it slowly and now that we have two in cloth, the terry flats are such a great help.

And shock horror--- I find folding a terry flat faster and easier then stuffing a pocket or snapping together a BBB! :eek: :laughing: Don't tell anyone!!

[tanni_83]

oh men make me laugh, the reality is that the baby is going to need nappies weather it comes from that money or his wage and the baby can't go around without nappies.
the money is given to you to get you the things you need for a baby so the baby should get what it needs, it is far from the babies fault that you have debt and it would still be there even if you weren't having another baby and he would have to find a way to pay the debt. Tell him to live as if you were not getting that money and he will have to come up with another way to pay the debt.
hope this was some help to you. Erin:banghead:


i said exactly this to him, "we should live like the money doesnt even exist, because having a baby is going to probably cause more debt then you were already in anyway"...i just got one of those pathetic grunting groan sigh things that men do when they know that you've made a good point and you are 100% right :banghead: then he said, love you cya, and left for work :mad:

[Angelmist♥]

Honestly my DD was 14.5mths when I swapped to mcn and I'm still saving on buying sposies.
LOL and I have a fairly hefty stash now:yelclap:

Is there anyway you can buy a few every fortnight or something while you're still pregnant?They do seem expensive but when you think that you could buy 2 good quality ones instead of a box of nappies (which only lasts a fortnight) the savings soon add up.

Well in my case they did and I was only using the most expensive sposies;)

Good luck mate and start checking out the swap and shop section!

[mum33]

no offence but if you guys are in debt as badly as you say you are then why does he think he can buy a non-essential item such as a king sized bed with the baby bonus money but you cant buy nappies for your child... a child which you wouldnt be gettin this baby bonus in the first place.

i'm not saying that baby bonus cant go towards things other than the baby but thats only if you have already gotten everything you need for the baby first.

tell him with the money you will save by buying MCN's eventually you can afford to buy that king sized bed he wants.

[reAllytee]

no offence but if you guys are in debt as badly as you say you are then why does he think he can buy a non-essential item such as a king sized bed with the baby bonus money but you cant buy nappies for your child... a child which you wouldnt be gettin this baby bonus in the first place.

i'm not saying that baby bonus cant go towards things other than the baby but thats only if you have already gotten everything you need for the baby first.

tell him with the money you will save by buying MCN's eventually you can afford to buy that king sized bed he wants.

:yelclap: :yelclap: :yelclap:

Sounds like he is wary of the whole MCN idea & really what male isnt lol. My DP was horrified at the idea but once i got a few nappies & he saw how easy it all was he too fell in love !

Now i just get a comment here or there to reign in my spending cause im totally addicted & have the excuse to buy more now that #2 is on the way lol !

Honestly there are sooooo many ways to get started without spending a fortune. As many have said there are the likes of Buyena, Ebay & Ozebaby to start but even here on the Hub many mums often end up culling their stashes etc. Just keep any eye out & try to work it so you arent paying out heaps in regards to postage.

Good luck trust me he will come around when he sees how much you will save in a few months time ! My DP loves this fact now & boasts about saving the money !

[mum33]

Good luck trust me he will come around when he sees how much you will save in a few months time ! My DP loves this fact now & boasts about saving the money !

i think so too...

i am trying to get DP on side so i can spend some of our baby bonus money on MCN too....howver he is a bit wary at the moment. any tips ladies???

i reckon once he sees how much money we can save he'll be braggin to all his mates it. i reckon also coz its something different to what anyone else he knows is doing, i reckon that'll be another reason to brag too. :D

think so? or is it wishful thinking?? :p

[reAllytee]

Oh no trust me they brag lmao !

You should see DP going on about them to friends & family tis hilarious ! Ive even got my sister doing the same .... Cant believe ive brainwashed so many :laughing:

If you look in the cloth section there should be the $$$ savings you get once you switch. Yes the initial outlay sends you into a bit of a spin but after you work out how much you spend on sposies its well worth it !

DP now gets cranky if i dont involve him in the decision process of colours etc lol cause he likes certain colours, styles & patterns. I never thought i would see the day !

I think for DP he was worried about the idea of cloth & how its all wet terry towelling & extra washing. But once he realised how easy they were to use & that i didnt have any dramas with the extra load every few days he was certainly impressed.

The thing is to also give them something they like if that makes sense because DP doesnt like certain types & he isnt keen on snaps as they are hard to do up & undo with his injury. So i avoid buying too many of those & make sure the ones he likes are available for when he changes Boof.

Trust me he will get hooked !

[mum33]

Oh no trust me they brag lmao !

You should see DP going on about them to friends & family tis hilarious ! Ive even got my sister doing the same .... Cant believe ive brainwashed so many :laughing:

If you look in the cloth section there should be the $$$ savings you get once you switch. Yes the initial outlay sends you into a bit of a spin but after you work out how much you spend on sposies its well worth it !

DP now gets cranky if i dont involve him in the decision process of colours etc lol cause he likes certain colours, styles & patterns. I never thought i would see the day !

I think for DP he was worried about the idea of cloth & how its all wet terry towelling & extra washing. But once he realised how easy they were to use & that i didnt have any dramas with the extra load every few days he was certainly impressed.

The thing is to also give them something they like if that makes sense because DP doesnt like certain types & he isnt keen on snaps as they are hard to do up & undo with his injury. So i avoid buying too many of those & make sure the ones he likes are available for when he changes Boof.

Trust me he will get hooked !


thanks for the info:thumbsup:

was gonna say i reckon he'd be braggin about colours etc of the MCN's. but it'd be manly braggin of course, not like me braggin about the pretty colours etc. lol...

i think mum would find the concept of MCN's interesting because she used terry flats and safety pins on my younger brother and has never heard of MCN's :D



anyways back on topic....tanni, i think with a little persuasion and sitting him down and showing him how much money you will be saving and also how cute MCN's actually look, i think he will come around. i mean the baby bonus this year is $4000, you only need less than a 1/4 of that, and its going to the baby which is what the money is intended for anyways. either way you have to buy nappies.

but as an alternative, if he is not up for you buying a big stash all at once, how about buying just a few and puttin enough of the baby bonus away to buy more later. that way if either of you change your mind, you havent outlayed a large sum of money and with the resell value of MCN's, you'll probably end up with nearly all your money back.

[Jodiee]

You could always tell him your buying all the disposibles needed from birth to tt :eek: with the maternity payment in one hit, which Im sure would use up all or most of the payment!! (omg, imagine the amount of naps you'd need to buy, and store), or you can spend a couple of hundred on mcn's, and thats all you need, really, a couple of hundred, 400 max on osfa, and thats it! :thumbsup:

but in all seriousness, we are also on the tightest budget there is, we have 5 kids (3 in private school), 1 lot of maintenance, and the usual stuff that comes with kids, and are on 1 wage, Im getting a nap here, and a nap there, and getting my stash up slowly, its hard, but the easiest way. Or you could layby, most do long term layby, just pay a little here and there etc, etc, until your due..

Just trying to help!!
Jo

[Angelmist♥]

Oh no trust me they brag lmao !


Oh yes they certainly do!My DH was not real keen on the idea so I bought 3 bumgenius anyway to start!I came down from having a shower and there was my macho hubby telling his best mate all about them,how easy they are and how much nicer they'd have to be on bub's bot :ecomcity:

It was cute!:o

Now if he says anything about me buying more, I just say oh well I'll sell them and go spend $40 on a box shall I:laughing: Didn't think so;)

[ikis84]

lmao - my DH and sister brag to everyone too. My sister is asking for brochures to give out to people! She doesn't even have kids yet!

Sorry, OT, but tanni, I agree with everyone - just print out the information about cost, with a few little piccies of cute mcn and see what he says :)

Good luck!

[tanni_83]

ok after all that uproar about dh....yesterday i was looking at one of those REALLY expensive Phill & Ted prams (on the net of course lol) and dh comes over and goes...'what u doin'? and i said 'just looking at this pram, its pretty cool, see u put the toddler there and the baby goes down there.........etc etc" then it got onto the price, i said 'but its really really expensive so im not too sure, how much do u think it'd be' and he comes out with 'about $600-$700 i guess' too right he was. But then it seems he's agreed to buying that pram coz he goes 'we can always just give the money to dad and then get him to order it online for us' i was dumbfouned :eek:

Then he started about something else about what we need when the baby comes and he ratteled off a few things an in between it all he mentioned CLOTH NAPPIES :smiliedance: wahooooo. ok i know that took a while to get to, but may as well the story properly or not at all right ? So it seems he does know/get the whole jist of the MCN thing and i said we can always sell them and replace them and then when we're done and get at least 50% of our money back (after bub 2 is tt of course) and he goes 'yep i know all that'....so it seems he was just being a pig headed male the other day :rolleyes: and im going to get my way in the and after all.... YAY!!! LOL

Thanks for all your replies everyone. Its really appreciated :D

[tanni_83]

:smiliedance: yay for me :laughing:

[mamabearof3]

Ditto on what everyone else is saying, you may use the baby bonus payment up front but the long term savings will get you out of debt much sooner. Even if you spent $1000 ish on a 36 pack I calculated I only needed to use them for about 30 weeks for one child and then I'm saving money. If you were using them on 2 children then obviously you are going to be saving money sooner

[tanni_83]

:yes: i agree its saving every day!! I think dh was just having one of those male pig headedness days :rolleyes:

[Shanaynay]

And don't forget you have about 6 months starting now to buy them!!

START NOW!!! :D :D

[tanni_83]

im still trying to talk dh into this one (starting to buy now) but i think he's still pretty keen on the idea of waiting for the BB money.

i cant win them all i guess :rolleyes: or maybe i can :detective: :laughing:

[CurlyG]

:yelclap: Tanni!!!!
That's great progress!
I'm with Phineas though, start buying NOW! :smiliedance: :laughing: Why delay the joy? Plus some places will let you layby :thumbsup:

[mum33]

yay for tanni!! :smiliedance:

now to work on my DP :laughing:

[tanni_83]

show him the stats...i think they're in the stick section :detective:

usually thats all it takes, its very cheap compaired to years worth of sposies and wipes etc etc :yes:

[mum33]

show him the stats...i think they're in the stick section :detective:

usually thats all it takes, its very cheap compaired to years worth of sposies and wipes etc etc :yes:

when he is home (he works away, wont be home til friday-sat)i will do that thanks :thumbsup: