What would you do?

[ConcernedParent]

Hi Ladies,

Can I get some feedback from y'all about this one?

We took RLLT in December. Was not going to take it but friends, (also Defence family) were going overseas and asked if we would consider a holiday in their neck of the woods so we could look after their pets. After some deliberation we decided it was a good idea and packaged up a holiday.

The holiday was fantastic, to say the least. The only let down was - we think one of our kids broke something in their house. We did the right thing and let them know as soon as we got home, (we did not see them before they got back - other people stayed in their house after us).

The item broken was a stereo. Our 3yo turned the knob on the radio past point of return and broke it off - we think! We think because we did not see him do it, but did see him holding the knob. The stereo was 17 years old.

On reply to the email, my friend said they were looking at buying a new one soon anyway, but would accept our offer of a repair in the meantime. We anticipated this to be around $150.00.

The other day she rang and said it could not be repaired. There was a big conversation about how they "buy well, buy once", and that everything they own/buy is of the highest quality. She asked me to split the cost of the new stereo and said that they considered us and decided not to buy the one they really wanted. The one they decided to buy was $2000.00 (vs $6000 for the one they want). She asked me to pay for half.:eek:

She wants an answer within a week or two as her husband's birthday is coming up and she wants to give him a new stereo.

A bit of background...
I have been friends with this person for 12 years. She is a wonderful and dear friend. We have supported each other through thick and thin.

I am REALLY shocked that this is the outcome and do not know how to tell them that we are not going to pay $1000.00 to replace a 17yo stereo.

My husband wants to give his one, (13yo, but state of the art at the time), as a replacement until they decide to get their new one.

Any suggestions from the group???

[Mum2Bug]

I have one question....WHY couldnt it be repaired???

It sounds to me like she is just looking for an excuse to buy a new one. I'm sorry I have no suggestions but to be asking for you to pay that much towards a new one when all he broke was a knob on the old one is ridiculous and I would be saying so.

[sharvs]

I would be saying that i cant afford that sort of money. That is a lot of money for a stereo - whats to say that money you give her is actually going to go on a stereo?

Its a really tough situation to be in, maybe you could make a few calls to repair places and see what they say.

I know you say she is a really good friend but a really good friend wouldn't want that sort of money from you.

[my2boyz]

Thats crazy in my oipinion.

If its coming down to that much money, I would be asked for the receipt about the cost.

Sorry, but are their any underlying issues about their financial state, if my friend's kid broke our stereo I would never consider asking for half of the costs.
Just my 2cents worth.
Hope you sort it out too!

[2boysmama]

Their contents insurance should cover it

[lukaelmo]

If my very good friend's child broke my stereo, I'd accept that accidents happen and leave it be.

But that doesn't help you, does it?

I guess I would just say that I couldn't possibly afford that much money and tell her how bad you feel about it. If they have enough money to buy a $2000 (or a $6000) stereo, then they don't really need your financial contribution, do they?

[tootiredtosleep]

You went and stayed at their house at their invitation, so I think it is very rude of them to ask you to pay! You were doing them a favour and they should just cop it on the chin. Things get broken.

I would tell her straight out that it was an accident and that you think $150 is a reasonable and generous amount towards a new one. (Ours was $250 and does the job).

I would be very hurt if a "friend" of mine did this. Would you ask the same of her?

[ShadyCharacter]

I would be telling her that you want to get a quote yourself to fix the stereo, even if you have to do it by phone. Asking you to pay $1000 towards a new one (that they were going to replace anyway) is REALLY rude :eek:

[Olismum]

$2000 for a stereo is ridiculous. Was it just a basic stereo or was it some kind of special Hi Fi system? $2000 sounds like they are getting some kind of Pioneer or Sony brand surround sound system with special speakers which is unfair if this isn't what they had originally. I can't remember if they even had CD players 12 years ago. I'm pretty sure that they only starting putting them into stereos approx 8 years ago. We had out stereo broken in our last move and Toll wouldn't pay for the repairs so we dumped it in the trash. It was a $400 stereo which we thought was pretty flash and now we use our DVD player to play our music, lol. I think what is of most concern though aside from the amount of money is how much you value the friendship and is it something that you would risk for $1000. I'd sit down and explain to her that you can't afford the full amount but would be willing to contribute a smaller amount. Even most insurance companies only pay for the amount that the original is valued at.

[candiee]

you were the one being honest and told her straight up, how do you really know it wasn't broken before you arrived?
if it was 17years old, they were proberbly thinking of buying a new one anyway.
i would go back to her house with some sticky tape and tape it back on!

[ConcernedParent]

Thank you all for your feedback. I feel so much better. You have pretty much confirmed my viewpoint. To answer your questions:

Mum2Bug - The part is 17yo and is no longer available. I think it is called a pentamater or something. It is the volume knob. Turns out it was pushed past the point of no return before it snapped off.

myboyz - I am with you, I would never consider asking for half, unless the half was pretty close to the cost of repair.

2boysmama - I would accept that accidents happen too. When her and the kids lived with us, (when their marriage went through a tough time), something in our loungeroom was broken in a pillow fight. Can't remember what it is, just know that we replaced it and never mentioned it any further.

tootiredtosleep - You are on my exact wavelength. I would never ask the same of them. I would just accept that the Gods have decided that it is time for a new one and accept any offer they were willing to make towards a new one. We WERE thinking of offering cost of full repair or same towards new one.

ShadyCharacter - they have asked me to look into my travel insurance to see if I can make a claim. The other offer was that they send the item up to me so I can claim in on my accidental damage insurance and then send a new one back to them.

Olismum - At the time of purchase, the stereo/sound system was state of the art. That is why my husband wants to offer his 13yo one. It was top of the line when he bought it, it has more features/capabilities than their old one and should tie them over until they decide to get a new one. I do have the money in my savings but I can't justify the expenditure as I don't think it is fair and reasonable for me to pay $1000.00 for a 17yo item. I agree the insurance company will only pay market value - which is NIL, but I feel it is only fair that we make some sort of contribution. For the friendship more than anything.

Candiee - had to laugh at your suggestion. Unfortunately don't think her hubby will let me back in the house unless we have new system in hand. Between you and me, I think he is the one driving this one along. It was his stereo and she said he was "ropable".

Thing is - I know her well and don't think for one minute she would give me $1000.00 in the same situation. That's what is making this so hard for me.

[Wish_Bear]

They invited you to stay, they knew you had young kids so they need to get over it. **** happens, and they should just realise this.
There is absolutely no way I would ask a dear friend to pay $1000 for a new stereo :eek: that is simply ridiculous.
I think they are using your close friendship as a way to squeeze the money out of you. Not good!!!!!!!

[Olismum]

Hi, how did you get on with the Stereo? Did you end up paying the money? I hope things worked out for you and you didn't lose your friendship.