View Full Version : Anxiety
I just want to know if this is normal. I have a beautiful perfectly healthy baby boy, 10 weeks old, after trying to conceive for years and I find that I am incredibly anxious about him and terrified he will stop breathing or something like that. I have a monitor that will sound an alarm if this happens and I'm not too bad during the day but at night after he has gone to sleep and I am trying to either watch tv, get things done or just spend time with my partner I can barely concentrate because the whole time I am anxious and worried about my baby. I check on him every ten minutes or so and then usually go to bed by 9pm just so I can sleep near his bassinet in case anything happens. It is a real pit of fear in my stomach and my nerves are absolutely shot to pieces from worry. I was always a bit of a worrier but never anything like this. How do I go about relaxing a bit and trusting that everything will be okay?
I really feel for you - I too was like this exactly as you are describing, it is awful and I know how you feel, babies are very precious gifts and you love them so much before you even meet them, it is understandable that once you have them you're like this.
I thought I was being adnormal about it and I was worrying too much, but then I found out most new mums are like this and I felt better knowing I wasn't the only paranoid mum out there.
My little one is 4 months now and I still worry but not to the extent I did in those first 3 months, I gradually allowed myself to relax and trusted in the facts (I was so worried about SIDS but it rare.) And I gradually trusted in myself and my baby, babies are very resilient and born survivors.
When I worried about little things I checked the baby books and of course they were normal things not to worry about.
Believe me it will get better and gradually you will relax more, it might not be straightaway and don't expect it too, it will be in your own time so don't worry about it, but it will get easier I can assure you of that.
I hope this helps, you are not on your own and you'll find plenty of others will reply saying they were exactly the same.
That's right - lots of us worry about our babies. I've had 3 children and I still check to make sure my 5 month old is breathing. She always is!
Still I think if you're worried about how you're feeling you could talk to someone like your GP. About a month ago I was feeling generally very stressed and anxious - with 3 kids I'm always having to go somewhere and often anxious about running late. I had a chat with my GP and while she didn't do anything, it helped to talk to her. It's really important that you look after yourself!
Maybe you could get your DH to check on your son too. So he can support you.
It does sound like you need to find ways to relax in the evenings - bath, half a glass of wine after you feed him, relaxing music, movie. Try not to check on him so often - maybe every half hour or so.
It's a big adjustment becoming a Mum. The first 3 - 6 months are emotionally and physically challenging so don't be too hard on your self!
And congratulations on the birth of your much wanted son!
Thanks to both of you for responding. I'm still not sure that my anxiety is completely normal but it helps to know others have similar responses. Hopefully over the next few months I will calm down a bit. I think I'm over awed by the fact that he actually exists after trying so long to conceive.
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