I have a few questions...plz help [Archive] - Bub Hub Pregnancy & Parenting Forum

Mummy2Amelia

11-12-2005, 17:05

tickle

11-12-2005, 17:20

Hey, you can only try.
When you squeeze does anything come out?
I think some people can get it back even after it has completely dried up, it just depends on your body.
If it is any encouragement, I breastfed with extremely flat nipples. One was worse than the other so my DS favoured the other side. With a bit of help he eventually got used to it a bit more (although I did look rather lopsided for a while. :o )

Sorry I can't help more, I'm sure there's someone around here with some great advice for you.
I hope it all works out for you, but just remember if it doesn't, bottlefeeding is always there and your bubs will be fine no matter what. ;)

sugar n spice

11-12-2005, 21:56

Sorry i can't help much but due to having inverted nipples i could not breast feed. I bottlefed and i was fine with that as it was convenient being able to share the feeding. I did get a bit upset first time round till i discovered how much easier it was and no sore nipples.

xkwzit

11-12-2005, 21:58

If you really want to re-lactate (there is such a word :D ) firstly get a LC that you can work with. I also had very flat nipples (not any more though ;) ) and expressed every feed for DD1 for about 5 weeks. You may not be able to fully bf her, but I'm sure that you could give her a couple of feeds a day with a LC advice / assistance. I exclusively bf DD1 until she was 4 months old and continued until she was 7 months old. I could still express something up to 6 months after I stopped feeding her - so it may not be too late.

As an encouragement, my LC was worth her weight in gold. DD1 also had nipple confusion, but eventually we tried nipple sheilds (after we had tried EVERYTHING else). Voila, enough like a bottle that she would feed happily. And eventually we weaned her off them too.

Best of luck.

cosmic

11-12-2005, 22:00

Do you feel better for that little vent, TanUch?? Because it seems that's all you wanted to do, as opposed to actually answering Tamara's question, which was is it too late to try breastfeeding again.

Tamara, I don't think it is too late and I would suggest that if you feel strongly about wanting to breastfeed, you should contact another lactation consultant or perhaps the ABA. As Happy Lady said, mothers CAN re-lactate and a lot of people don't know that even adoptive mothers can be 'trained' to breastfeed so I certainly don't think all hope is lost if you are prepared to get some help and make some effort.

If it doesn't work out, I also don't think you should feel guilty but lots of mums do feel guilty for not giving it a good go, and so if you feel you need to try again to have peace of mind, by all means try and you could surprise yourself!

Good luck.. and by the way, Amelia is gorgeous. :)

Shazbutt

11-12-2005, 22:32

I myself bottle fed both bubs.....i just didn't enjoy it plus had alot of trouble feeding DD1.

I think that if you want to try to BF again then go for it...surely it can't do any harm....and if you're willing to put in a bit of effort then why not? GOOD LUCK!

Referring to TanUch's post, just because YOU had 3 bottle-fed children who have no problems, DOES NOT mean that anyone else's children can't have problems resulting from being bottle-fed. It just seems to me that in all your posts that you say that because you did this and you did that, that you're way is right?

Sorry Tamara, for that little 'vent'......

Chickadee

11-12-2005, 22:42

Whooaaa. Tanuch and Cosmic. Stop going at each other. It's not helping anyone.

I agree with Tanuch, there is sometimes enormous pressure put on new mothers to bf. When there are physical issues such as flat nipples it just compounds the issue. Mummy2Amelia - if you had been able to get good appropriate advice and help on your first few days in hospital you may have been able to succeed in bf from nearly the start. Don't feel guilty that you didn't get that help - it's not at all your fault, and at the time ff was a much better decision than to listen to your child scream in hunger. You're a good mum, regardless how your bub is fed.

If you do want to pursue re-lactating, then as Cosmic suggests it may not be too late. There are drugs, and natural drugs/herbs, which can help boost milk supply even in adopting mothers who haven't given birth. But it's not an easy or stress-free path to rebuild your supply. As for nipple confusion, each bub is different and you won't know until you try. From what you have said your bub is obviously preferring the bottle to the nipple. This might be due to differences in the shape and feel, in which case a nipple shield could be useful. For my DD, it seemed to be that she wouldn't work and wait for the breastmilk let down after getting used to the immediate response from bottles. If you talk to the ABA or a good lactation consultant they can help with that too. There is a feed system where you basically tape a narrow tube to your boob with the end at your nipple and feed bub either expressed milk or formula through the tube while they are at your nipple. It is supposed to help stimulate your supply at the same time as getting bub used to the nipple again. But again, it's not going to be an easy route back to bf. It's up to you, but I'd say if you're determined enough and feel strongly about it, then it's never too late to try.

wattle

12-12-2005, 06:15

Hi Mummy2Amelia, I hope you're not feeling too overwhelmed by all the carry on in resonse to your question. It's obviously a topic that people feel pretty emotional about.

Please feel free to let us know what you think and how you're going. Some of us are just here to quietly support you.

Whether your bub is bottlefed, or breastfed, I know that you will be giving your little one the very best of care.

cosmic

12-12-2005, 07:19

Tamara, please let us know how you're going and good luck with whatever you do. As long as your baby is healthy and well-fed that's the main thing. :)

TanUch, not having a baby doesn't mean I don't have plenty of information and support to offer anyone.

sopolicha

12-12-2005, 07:35

JanetF where are you????????

You would have the answers.

cosmic

12-12-2005, 08:24

I was thinking the same thing!! I'll send out the search party for her...

Shazbutt

12-12-2005, 09:15

I'm not going to get into a debate with you TanUch, i just wanted to post my opinion as well....

And i may have worded my post a little wrong, as i didn't mean it to come out that bottle-fed bubs WOULD have problems later on, just that some CAN.....If i thought they would, then i would not have bottle-fed my two if i could help it.....

And yes Tamara, please let us know how you get on...

funfarrell

12-12-2005, 09:44

Hi all,
Can anyone help me with my bottle situation please? I was using avent number threes but the milk spills down my baby's chin and soaks her every time. The number two teets are too slow. Someone suggested pigeon. The 4 months is too slow and teh one above way too fast. Can anyone suggest a good bottle that is fast enough for my 6 month old but doesn't soak her like the avent one?
Cheers. :confused:

melfunction

12-12-2005, 09:50

Hi Funfarrell,

We are using Tommee Tippee bottles and teats from 6-18mths. We have no problems with them..

Shazbutt

12-12-2005, 10:10

Yeah, that'd probably do the trick....i did that with my slow flow teats with Mac when they were too slow for her, but the next ones were too fast.....

I use the cross cut (or variflow) teats with DD2, as she can only get what she sucks out and they don't dribble incessantly....maybe try them?

Good Luck...

JanetF

12-12-2005, 11:33

Hi Tamara, I'm sorry you've been given such poor advice IRL. So few women get good support to bf I sometimes think it's a miracle anyone manages it! You're right that bf is going to be better for your daughter, it's also FREE, perfect and you'll never run out on a Sunday night ;) Relactating is very possible, and considering that women who adopt can lactate to feed their babies, you are definitely physically equipped for it! Relactating is a big commitment but then so is parenting, and not having to get out of bed or make bottles makes like a lot easier! The ABA will be able to support you, they have a booklet specifically about relactating. If you PM me your email addy I can send you a huge document I have on it too!
Try these to start with. What a wonderful start to life you're giving your wee one!
:D

There is a 1998 World Health Organisation document titled "Relactation: A review of experience and recommendations for practise", a 42 page PDF. Great diagrams and explanations of milk supply related to prolactin and a comprehensive list of factors which influence success of relactation and also discussion of drugs which may increase milk supply.
http://www.who.int/child-adolescent-health/publications/NUTRITION/WHO_CHS_CAH_98.14.htm
http://www.who.int/child-adolescent-health/New_Publications/NUTRITION/WHO_CHS_CAH_98_14.pdf

http://www.lalecheleague.org/NB/NBSepOct93p135.html
An adoptive breastfeeding story of starting to breastfeed a 6 month old child. Nursing Julia: My Supreme Challenge By Darillyn Starr Mantua, Utah, USA from: New Beginnings, Vol. 10 No. 5, September-October 1993, pp. 135-136. Darillyn has breastfed her six adopted children http://www.fourfriends.com/abrw/Darillyn's/personal_history.htm

Adoptive Breastfeeding forum that has a whole heap of practical tips re: lactation which would also be useful for relactation.
http://www.fourfriends.com/abrw/forum/index.php

Relactation and Induced Lactation resources and links from the kellymom website
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/adopt/re...-resources.html
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/supply/relactation.html Summary of information

sopolicha

12-12-2005, 11:38

Hurray - the cavalry has arrived ;)

Go Janet :p

cosmic

12-12-2005, 11:45

PHEW! Thank God for some sanity around here. :rolleyes:
LOVE your work Janet. :D

melfunction

12-12-2005, 12:29

Tamara, I just wanted to wish you luck!!!

TanUch, I don't think patronising anyone has a place on Bubhub.

razzle

12-12-2005, 12:51

What u fail to realise is that Cosmic WAS PATRONISING ME - by saying I was 'venting' when I was trying to offer Tamara support on bottlefeeding. And I think a mum to be patronising a woman with 3 children also has no substance on Bubhub, thankyou very much.

Can we all please take a chill pill and stop being so argumentative?? :mad:

Lunar

12-12-2005, 12:54

Amelia's mum,
You CAN breast feed again even when your milk has completely gone. It's just a matter of putting baby to the breast as much and as often as possible. I too have flat nipples. You can however successfully feed with the help of nipple sheilds, often used when mummies have cracked and sore nipples but are VERY useful for us who have flatties. You can buy them just about anywhere. I have heard of mothers that have had flat nipples and after feeding for a few months their nipples are now outies and they don't need the shields anymore.
I hope this is of some help to you. You should also think of joining the Australian Breastfeeding Association's web site. There are alot of mothers there with flat nipples that I got alot of information and ecouragement from and they will also be able to help you with begging to breast feed your bub with little milk.
If you really want to feed, you can do it, it will probably be hard work at first but it will be worth it.

Sarie

12-12-2005, 13:59

My turn!
For some of us B/F just isn't for us. I bottle fed both of my boys and I'm am quite happy and content about it.
But some people really want to give it a go. Tamara only you can decided what you really want to do. Take a look at Janet's info and if you need further info I'm sure a lactation consultan may be able to help you with the finer points (Not 100% sure, as I didn't b/f myself - though I'm sure Janet would know)
Good luck with which ever way you decide Tamara, only you can make your decision, but there are plenty here who can give you support, even those of us who don't have their bub's in their arms ;)

Kaylene

12-12-2005, 14:09

Hi all
how long does it take for the milk to dry up? I have noticed lately I don't have to wear a breast pad so I am assuming by that it has decreased dramatically :confused: I feel like I have failed my daughter by not trying hard enough to breastfeed her but I want her to be happy and she seems happy with the formula now...have I left it too late?

Hello,
Tamara, I stopped breast feeding back in June of this year and I still produce small amounts of milk but with no demand it is getting less and less. Occasionally I will produce a surge when Im sad for some reason :confused: . Try not to worry, drink lots of water and attach her for time to time until you both are comfortable. Also Don�t forget to look after mummy and baby will be fine too.
Good luck
Kaylene

Ps. I never realised what a sensitive subject this one is.

funfarrell

12-12-2005, 14:41

Lay off Tanuch. I think she gave sound advice then made a good few points about FF. She is dead right about the pressure to BF and the huge guilt trip laid on by professionals. I didn't produce enough milk and had to FF. I felt awful every day as nurse with keyrings telling me BF was best looked down their nose at me. My child is healthy, happy and growing well. Good on you TanUch.

WeThree

12-12-2005, 16:54

Hi Tamara :) if you take anything from this thread, it is this : if you a truly keen to contue bf, you are now loaded up with lots of info about it, and if it is something you are passionate about, then you will be able to do it, but if you feel that you would prefer to continue with the ff, then you know you have support for that too :)
oh and stop feeling guilty!!! :)

funfarrell

12-12-2005, 18:52

No probs TanUch. Same to you. PM me any time especially when you get an earbashing for FF. I have a few comebacks up my sleeve. What's it like to have three daughters so close together? I would love that. I am planning to try again in March (my daughter is 5 months). Then all going well i want to have another soon as. ;)

Mummy-2-2

12-12-2005, 19:09

I too couldnt b/f my bubba and felt pressure to do so mainly by myself, as I have "always" wanted to do it. Formula feeding worked great for her, but I'm sure if I knew a lot of this stuff that I have read today, a lot of that may have helped HUGELY too!!

I am now pg with Ajay, due in Jan, and am Very keen to b/f second time around. I thank everyone for the info, and I think that regardless of how baby is fed, its the mums that matter more, so be it breast or bottle, you can all be sure I will be coming back with more questions when Ajay actually born!

Nickster

12-12-2005, 21:26

Amelia's mum,

I hope you are finding a solution to your problem, and that some of these heated posts have not upset you at this very stressful time for you.

If you are passionate about breastfeeding, the BEST thing you can do is to visit a private lactation consultant.( NOT one in a hospital.) I had problems with attachment at first and saw one who was an absolute godsend. I was ready to chuck it all in. Now a year later, I am still breastfeeding.

The ABA helpline can direct you to several in your area, and their website forum is terrific too.

Having said that, if you choose to bottlefeed, please do not feel guilty, there are plenty of happy bottle bubs out there, and yes, we all know breast is best, but it doesn't always work for everybody. You have a lot of support here on bubhub.
I wish you well.

rynosmum

12-12-2005, 22:53

Good luck with whatever you decide to do !

There's no doubt that B/feeding is best for bubs due to the nutrients in it but formula is a pretty good imitation of the real thing. I found B/feeding hard but kept at it and eventually gave up only when I got pnuemonia and went back to work (the same week). I've never had a problem with formula feeding since that time. I have steralised bottles of cool water already in the cupboard and quickly put a couple of scoops in and shake - easy !

I would like to B/feed for longer next time if I can - I hope you are able to look at some of Janet's links on relactation - great if you can !

Apart from that, I was a bottle fed baby and haven't noticed any long term effects (that I know of :D )

Good luck !

matty's mum

13-12-2005, 01:11

Yes you can relactate. if a LC is too costly ABA Australian Breastfeeding Association have free counselling.

I didn't know that you could and excepted FF my DD she was unlucky too have lots of problems with every type of formula we tried. My 1st son never had a problem. My 3rd I breastfeed for 22months and it was a nightmare I had lots of problems BUT there is something about breastfeeding that I never understood until I did it, and cant explain it.

I have the same feelings and bond with my three children it's not this it�s unexplainable. If it doesn�t work for you this time have lots more babies like Iam. :rolleyes:
Best of luck let us know how your going.

cosmic

13-12-2005, 09:34

PM me any time especially when you get an earbashing for FF.
I don't think anyone here was getting an earbashing for FF. :confused: I think every single post so far has indicated that if Tamara can't or doesn't want to try BF again, she should absolutely NOT feel guilty.

And TanUch, now that you've made your point about me not having kids... let's see.. is it 4 times? (in case anyone missed it the first time presumably) can I just get some clarification so I don't make that mistake again?

So, if you've got kids but choose to just post information, as opposed to your personal experience, like JanetF did - is that ok? Because she's been through labour, she's ok to post information.. right? And what if you have kids but had no problems with breastfeeding? Are those people still entitled to give advice to mums who have trouble breastfeeding even though they haven't personally experienced those problems? Or then there are mums who never tried to breastfeed but just chose formula from day one, so they have no experience of breastfeeding at all, are they entitled to answer Tamara's question because they've had kids?

As you can see, there are lots of possibilities so I just want to know if it's a black and white rule that one should not post information or support if one hasn't given birth. Because I would really hate to see you get so angry again.

oh, and as for my comment about you venting which is what seemed to set this whole thing off in the first place - I'm sorry that offended you. I guess for me, when someone asks "Is it too late to try breastfeeding again?" and someone else replies with a very lengthy post outlining all the reasons she shouldn't bother to try, I don't see that as being very supportive. Supportive of formula feeding absolutely... but not very encouraging of other options. One thing I feel passionate about is people being empowered to achieve whatever they set their mind to - whether that is breastfeeding or naked bungy jumping - and so I get a little frustrated when it appears that people are being discouraged from their goals. I'm sorry if I misinterpreted your intentions, but I do hope that clarifies where I was coming from and hopefully we can leave it at that because I think Tamara has all the information she needs now.

Chickadee

13-12-2005, 09:42

Thank you Cosmic, and thank you Tanuch. I think you've both had opportunity now to explain your original posts and offer any apologies or further info. Lets all be grown up and stop bickering.

If either of you want to continue your discussion I strongly suggest you do it in PMs or open another thread, and NOT do it in here. Because quite frankly I'm sick of this thread veering around and being more about who was right and who was wrong and who was offended first or worst. Leave it be.

Tamara, Sorry for all this. I hope you've managed to weed through some of the debate and take from it whatever is useful to you. Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and your bub, because only you know best.

Chickadee

13-12-2005, 16:03

Great. Thank you, again Tanuch. You've had your last word. NOW LEAVE IT!! I don't care if you think Cosmic is misinformed. I don't care if Cosmic thinks you are. Both sides of your argument (or whatever you want to call it) have been presented and discussed to death. Any further posts directed to or at Cosmic or regarding the relative merits of ff versus bf will be seriously considered for deletion. If you have a problem with that then pm me and we can discuss it.

Tamara, I turn this thread back over to you. Or if anyone else has constructive suggestions or advice please feel free to offer it.

WeThree

13-12-2005, 17:08

Yay Martha!!!! :) :)

Tamara, how are you getting on? have you decided to stick with the formula, or are you going to give re lactating a go? i'd love to hear about what you are doing, and i hope you are no longer feeling bad about your decisions, because i am sure that whatever you decide will be the right thing for you and for bubs :)

Mummy2Amelia

13-12-2005, 17:13

Firstly I would just like to thank you all for your help and encourangement. After speaking with my partner and reading these posts I believe it is best for my baby to continue bottlefeeding. I don't want to mess her around by switching back and forth because I can't make my mind up. I guess with my next bub I will do alot more reading and studying before I try breastfeeding again.
I'm very sorry that my thread started some trouble. I hope those two girls have sorted their differences out between one and other.

Mummy2Amelia

13-12-2005, 17:15

I think deep down I do feel a tiny bit guilty because I have always wanted to breastfeed but it was not meant for Amelia and I. But that is something I will and can get over with some time.
Thank you for your support everyone. I love these forums :D

WeThree

13-12-2005, 17:15

Tamara, dont apologise :) im glad you have reached a decision you are comfortable with and i hope all goes well :)

tickle

13-12-2005, 17:21

Tamara:
Glad you came to a decision your happy with. Good on you and enjoy your bub!! ;)

Chickadee

13-12-2005, 17:22

Tamara,
Don't apologise for the dispute that went on here. These things happen. As you know, the decision to bf or ff can have alot of emotion attached to it and can trigger strong opinions and responses.

I'm glad we've helped a little, and I'm sure your decision is the right one for you. If nothing else, you may feel slightly lightened by being able to leave the "what if" of b/f behind and simply enjoy your amazing new daughter.

cosmic

13-12-2005, 17:41

Glad to hear it Tamara. As long as you feel comfortable in your decision, that is the main thing. And I'm sorry your thread got so out of hand.. I would never have said anything in the first place if I knew what a debacle it would cause :eek:. But that's not your fault!

All the best for you and your beautiful baby. :)

kimmy

13-12-2005, 18:16

;) Hay i now exactly how you feel for i couldn't breastfeed my ds Jakob.
When i gave birth to him they put him strait on the breast & that was the only breastfeed that he had cause every time i tried to feed him he just screamed & cried like crazy & he did this all the time when i was in the hospital.
Which made me feel so horrible. :(
But when i got him home i put him strait on to formula & he took it no probs big relief but i still felt really bad like there way something wrong with me or that i didn't try hard enough.
I did try giving it to him in a bottle & everything but he just would not take it.
There is nothing to feel guilty about some time's things just don't turn out the way we plan hay. ;)

reAllytee

14-12-2005, 00:39

Dont feel guilty !
Doing what is best for you & bubs is all that matters.
Remember also that when your happy & comfortable bubs picks up on this so settles more easily, feels happy & secure.
Best of luck :)

JorBai

31-12-2005, 20:20

I too had issues with Breastfeeding as I have flat nipples. At first I felt like I had failed as I had really wanted to breast feed.

I completely agree with TanUch, society pushes women to breastfeed when in some cases it is just not possible. I put my bub on to full formula feeds at the 2 week mark and it was the best thing I have ever done as it takes a huge load off of me. My husband can help with the feeds and I know exactly how much my bub is getting.

Do what you want to do and you will be happy, dont just do what you think people want you to do.

Good Luck from a successful bottle feeding mummy!

Mum2Lucas

31-12-2005, 22:07

Hi all
I have just recently given birth to my daughter nearly 5 weeks ago (7/11/2005) When in hospital and at home she would not take to my breast, and I also got told that my nipple is "flat" :confused: anyway, when in hospital on day 2 I got really upset because she would not take to my breast and she was crying hysterically because she was hungry (I never want to hear that cry again!!) So when we got home I started pumping for her but I could only get up to 100ml in the morning and then maybe 20-50ml in the evening...obviously that was not enough for her! so I was also bottlefeeding her. I was really upset when I stopped pumping and put her on full time bottlefeed. I tried again to latch her after seeing a lactation consultant but that was no help to us. She was getting really angry because she was so used to the flow of the teat on bottles. I'm just wondering if I am able to start back up TRYING to breastfeed her again or is it too late? how long does it take for the milk to dry up? I have noticed lately I don't have to wear a breast pad so I am assuming by that it has decreased dramatically :confused: I feel like I have failed my daughter by not trying hard enough to breastfeed her but I want her to be happy and she seems happy with the formula now...have I left it too late?
Sorry I know most of that doesn't make alot of sence but I tried to describe my problem as easy as possible.

When I was breastfeeding My son took to it like a duck to water but when he was 3 weeks old i had to put him on formula for 9 days because of some antibiotics i was on and so i decided to keep him on the bottle. When i made that decision i cried because i loved breastfeeding it was just another way to be closer to my son and bond with him. its not too late to try again it may take a bit but you can try it. i was told to offer the breast first and if hes not happy with that then you top him up with formula until you start making enough milk to not need to offer the bottle afterwards. But if you dont want to do that then keep her on formula. I use an organic formula for lucas because it doesnt have any of the additives that the usual stuff has and he loves it. but your not a failure for having trouble breastfeeding and putting your daughter on a bottle.

matty's mum

01-01-2006, 00:12

When I was breastfeeding My son took to it like a duck to water but when he was 3 weeks old i had to put him on formula for 9 days because of some antibiotics i was on and so i decided to keep him on the bottle. When i made that decision i cried because i loved breastfeeding it was just another way to be closer to my son and bond with him. its not too late to try again it may take a bit but you can try it. i was told to offer the breast first and if hes not happy with that then you top him up with formula until you start making enough milk to not need to offer the bottle afterwards. But if you dont want to do that then keep her on formula. I use an organic formula for lucas because it doesnt have any of the additives that the usual stuff has and he loves it. but your not a failure for having trouble breastfeeding and putting your daughter on a bottle.

I was able to breastfeed when on antibiotic was it the type you were on???

Foxymoron

01-01-2006, 01:00

Tamara :) Congrats on your beautiful new bub! I'm sorry you received little support or good advice in hospital in your efforts to breastfeed. Don't feel badly about your decision to continue now with bottlefeeding.... Feel free to greive for that loss, but don't put it on yourself. It's a degree of seperation many women AREN'T expecting so soon after giving birth..
I myself had no idea how hard it would be when I had my first child, and was then shocked again when my second child didn't fall into line- I expected that the battle I waged to feed no.1 paved an easy road with no.2... I was sooo wrong! My second child didn't get boobie for nearly as long as I'd have liked due to mechanical problems with his mouth, and when I stopped also expressing for him I greived and felt sad for a long time.
DD no3 has made up for it all by being a champion feeder:D

All I wanted to say is I think it's perfectly normal and OK to be sad when breastfeeding doesn't work out. It doesn't define you though, and it doesn't mean you failed. ((((hugs))))

On a side note, someone mentioned that getting a private LC is worthwhile...
I absolutely agree.. my LC was a Goddess- Joy Johnston- ;) if anyone Melbournites are looking for an LC for a home visit. It's hard in hospital with all the differing opinions and the noise of life on the ward, and your hormones... any mums to be reading this thread, if you need it and can afford it- do call on your local Midwife in private practice :D