I need Pros & Cons of 2.5year age gap please

[Rachael]

Hi Ladies :)

My DS is turning one soonish and hubby and I have been talking. We would like one more child and are trying to figure out the perfect age gap for us.

We are not going to try till after Christmas, giving my body a break as I had a CS. Nor do I think I could handle a smaller gap than 2 years.

Thinking of trying at the beginning of next year which would (if we conceive straight away) make it a 2.5year age gap.

I am thinking it would be good because DS would be walking, talking (to a degree) and hopefully toilet trained or near to it.

If others have this age gap I would love to hear from you about any pros and cons when 2nd bub is born as well as how you managed during your pregnancy with a bump and a toddler:eek:

Thankyou

[Zada]

i have 2yrs 4 months between my 2!
During pregnancy yea its a bit tiring chasing them around but i also had a bad sleeper too! When bub came along DD was pretty good. Played up while i was feeding but that didnt last too long as long as u include the older child in everything theyre fine. My DS is 6 months now its fairly easy to manage:thumbsup:

[jamb]

Well can only say how i think it will be for me as i am yet to have this one.

I think it will be quite good in that DS is becoming so independant, i can tell him things like-

got get your clothes to put on
bring your cup to the sink
get that toy
put it away
put your shoes on
let the dog out

etc etc

So i feel that having them a little bit older will help in that instructions can be followed/given (whether or not having a new little one will change all this i'll get back to you:rolleyes: )

He is completely feeding himself, can climb into his carseat, takes himself to potty and sleeps really well. I feel that will lighten my load a little when the bub is here :fingerscrossed: .

I knew I could not cope with 2 totally dependant on me for mobility/feeding etc, but i had a bit of PND and needed time to recver from that.

HTH and good luck!

[jess_live_die]

my girls are 2 years and 8 days apart they are great they are best friends. they just get alone so well. :thumbsup:

[Jenko]

I have a 2.5 year age gap between my two, but my DS is only 7 weeks so we are in the early stages so far. As far as pregnancy, it wasn't too bad, i slept when she had her nap if i was tired, i couldn't pick her up in the end, but she accepted that quite easily. The downside was that she is still co-sleeping so the bed got a bit squishy in the end.

Good points
-DD can get me a nappy for bubs
-She can get me a bottle of water out of the fridge
-She can talk quite well, so she can tell me what she needs/wants
-She can walk independantly when out and about
-She is TT, but needs me to help her on/off the toilet and wipe her bot.
-She can play or watch TV happily by herself.

NOT so good points
-She does not know how to be quiet...the more i say ssshh the louder she gets.:eek:
-she can talk and say NO. lol:laughing:
-she can put on a mighty good performance in the tantrum department.
-she is still a bit jealous of her new baby bro.
-she is pretty full on and demands attention
-sometimes she can be a bit rough with DS when cuddling and trying to play with him.

All of these 'NOT so good points' are really just adjustment issues and are expected to some degree. As I said, it's early days for us, they are just some of the things we have experienced so far.
I think it's a good age gap for us. I think I would have found it more difficult if DD was any younger. Anywhere between 2.5 - 3 years is a good gap imo.

[~Emmylou~]

My daughter was a month off turning two when DS was born.

I'd say I would be in favour of a 2.5 year gap. The progress my DD has made in behaviour, speech, social interaction, and general abilities in the last six months has just amazed me.

At 2 when DS was born she was in the peak of her tantruming, she wasn't talking much so getting incredibly frustrated, couldn't play alone, couldn't understand being quiet etc. It was pretty tough.
Now just six months later she is speaking in sentences, can tell me what she wants, what's wrong etc so less frustration, and therefore way less tantrums. She's settled down alot and while things are good now with the gap we have, if I'd known how hard it would be at first I would've waited another six months :thumbsup:

[katherine]

my boys are EXACTLY 2.5 year gap :)
i think it is great, it was planned to be that gap (or as close to 2 and a half as possible)

dean (eldest) has never even had one day of being jealous, or naughty for attention.

he is at the right age to be able to help me out, be able to play on his own and even get some things (food, drinks) for himself if i am feeding and cant quite get there when he wants it.

he is also out of the cot, which means its ready for corey. corey is in a capsuel but it works out that by the time he is out of that, the car seat will be ready, and dean will be old enough for a booster seat.

two CONS, i can think of, is sometimes dean doesnt always want to walk when we are out shopping, but too big for a add on seat for my pram..... but i do still sometimes put him in the pram when i am holding corey....

and that they are both in nappies at the moment... dean could almost be out of them, but bit too much work with a new born, so that adds up the expenses a little..

hope that helps!!!!

[katherine]

forgot to add... while it was "bump and toddler" i would jsut have to forget the housewrok and sleep whenever dean did... and if i was really tired, i'd either stick him in my bed next to me with books, a fav toy or a dvd on, and have a light sleep.... he sensed thigns and would stay there, i'd even wake up to him stroking my hair or soemthing :)

jsut liek to add... i think it really is a great gap, if i was (hope to) have another, i would prob consider the same gap :):)

[Rachael]

Sounds like a lot of positives for this age gap :)

Never thought of the cot and car seat but yes I imagine it would be easier.

Thankyou for all your thoughts so far would still love to hear more.

[mumma_jessy]

My kids are 20 months apart, so i guess i can't really comment too much, but the way i see it

the Pros:
He will be able to get in the car by himself
Walk by himself
Help you out a little with baby
Understand simple instructions
Play by himself (at least while you are feeding)
Feed himself
Be TT, or almost

the Cons:
The terrible twos and a baby, hmmm
He will understand a bit more and actually remember when baby wasn't there, so may make it harder on the jealously side of things

Both things are no big deal, they will sort themselves out in time and patience...

Goodluck!

[mum2bubba]

I'll be watching this thread really close as Hayley will be just over 2 and a half when bubba #2 arrives, I can say during pregnancy it is very tiring running around after a toddler all day long (though I'd imagine it'd be just as tiring running around after a 10 year old too).

[mumbub2]

My two are 21 months apart....so a little smaller gap than your thinking, but similiar I would say. One HUGE advantage that I hadnt even considered was the fact that number 1 still has a day sleep...usually 2- 3 hours. SO far my little man has had a big sleep at the same time, so I find I get this blissful break every afternoon. Not sure how long it will last !!! I know a few people that have a closer to 3 year gap and just as they have number 2 the day sleep stage ends for number 1 - aah ! I guess some kiddies have a day sleep for longer than other though....I am planning on 'strongly encouraging' :) day sleeps for DD until she starts school....yeah right ! :)

Another pro is number 1 is too young to be jealous yet - they havent started down that line of thinking usually by this age, which is great - they just love their new bubs to bits rather than trying to gouge out their eyes ! -well most of the time !

One con I can think of is toilet training number 1 when number 2 is young....which is what we are doing....just as I start feeding she decides its potty time.....so we do have a few messy episodes here and there ! Maybe by 2.5 your first will be tt'ed though. I like that idea !

[katherine]

One con I can think of is toilet training number 1 when number 2 is young....which is what we are doing....just as I start feeding she decides its potty time.....so we do have a few messy episodes here and there ! Maybe by 2.5 your first will be tt'ed though. I like that idea !

thats the only one i have against the age gap.. my son isnt TT, so if you can focus on that before hadn.. then GREAT, but other wise.... be like me, hes' still in nappies too :(

cause he always wets his pants or ask for nappy of jsut as its feed time.. but he is also able to pull them down himself.. so we'll get there

[Jenko]

he is also out of the cot, which means its ready for corey. corey is in a capsuel but it works out that by the time he is out of that, the car seat will be ready, and dean will be old enough for a booster seat.

:thumbsup: That's a good one. My DD was already in a big bed so the cot is ready for new bubs (in a bassinette atm) and we got DD a new booster seat (maxi-rider) so the her car seat could be used for the new baby.

Also, didn't have to buy a new pram as DD walks nearly everywhere. We have a stroller if she wants to use it when DH is home, so we push one each. I have a mountain buggy and she can sit on the front with bubs in it, if we are just walking down the shops.

[PinkBinkie]

My girls are 18 mths apart. At the moment I feel like we had them too close together. D1 is going through the toddler terror time.....scratching D2 (who is 11 weeks now) and attacking other children. I feel like I can't leave bubs alone for a second while my toddler is around!! I'm looking forward to the time when my toddler settles down and my girls can play together. So I think 2.5 years sounds like a great gap :thumbsup:

[Coffee]

I have a bit over 2 years gap between my boys and I think, it's pretty good.

Sometimes I have concerns that it might be to big of a gab, that they won't play with each other, once the younger one's old enough.

But i find it handy, that I can involve my older one in the daily activities withe the new one better than if he just would be 1 1/2 year old.

He's also able to play a bit by himselfs and understands when I tell him to do something.

I think, it's a bit easier, if the gap is biger but then there's jealousy and rivality, which isn't there when the kids are closer to each other.

One big issue is the TT. My older one was ready and going to the loo just fine and as soon as his little brother arrived it stopped from one day to the other :mad:
Since January now, he's at least back on track with the wees, so I'm confident he'll get there one day.

Another advantage is, that if the gap is shorter, the older one may still have a sleep over lunch and you may be able to get some breaks then as well.

One negative point, which I hear from lots of people who's kids are only 15 month apart. that both of the kids won't sleep through during the night, that can be sometimes really harsh.

From my experience so far, 2 yrs and above is a good gap:)

[wannabemum]

My brother and I are 2.5 years apart (bro older) and it is wonderful! Yes we fought when we were younger but we are incredibly close now.

All positives for that age gap I say, except for the one con on my behalf - having a very protective brother and so never being able to date EVER! :laughing:

[kymmy]

From my experience -

Pros
Baby gets clothing soon after older child out grows them so cheaper and no worries about storage.
Cons
Both in nappies.
Both clingy and baby like.

Definitely varies between families but I liked the 3 year gap better between my first and second child.

I hope as they grow they will be close and look out for each other. Atm they fight a little and play a little. My baby is 17mths and my big boy is almost 4.

[melbryan]

Didn't have to get a double pram , a toddler skate board was fine. I won't lie it is tough but I think in the end it will be fine. Ours are 2 yrs and 2 mths apart. He is much better with someone here than on his own such a demanding toddler. Closer the age gap the harder it is but the more of the baby stage you will have to be in for longer.