Am i over-reacting?

[Eva]

My husband's sister has married overseas and is leaving her viscous doberman dog at her parents house (my inlaws). This dog has attacked people in the past, is highly unprodictable and aggresive. It has never been trained. The problem is that they look after after my 10 month old son once a week for a few hours. My mother in law has had heart problems and i cant help but be afraid of something happening to her when she is protecting my son from the dog, or the dog somehow slipping past them and into the house when they are opening the back door.

My husband approached his parents about it and expressed concern for our son, but his mother snapped back saying that she did not want the dog to be put down (which is the only option since no one would want it). My inlaws are absolutely obsessed with my son and i know they feel they would ensure nothing happens, but i dont want to take the risk. I also feel its inconsiderate towards us in favour of my husbands sister who doesnt want to take responsibility for her dog.

I have suggested to my husband that his parents come to visit my son at our place instead, however i know this will not go down well with his parents, as his mother loves to cook for her son and grandson. Unfortunately i am being accused of over-reacting and being paranoid. Am i ??

[JATS]

I don't think you are over-reacting at all!

I have a similar story;

My mother's parents have a dog my mum's brother dumped with them, pitbull cross kelpie, its totally vicious! It attacked my mum, her sister, my great aunt and 2 of my cousins so far. Now noone visits them anymore, we're all terrified of the dog. I knew it from when it was a pup, saw it regularly, and it still snaps at me! I'm a dog person, love all breeds of dog, my fav breed is Alsation,(police dogs) and I havenever been so scared of a dog in my life, it's uncontrolable. They won't have it put down but noone else will take it.

I'd refuse to take your son to visit them, period. I know it won't go down well but could you forgive yourself if you caved in and that dog got to your son?

Your choice but I say its not worth the risk. They'll understand in time.

[reAllytee]

Sorry but it sounds like the best thing for everyone including the dog is for it to be put down.
What happens if not only were it to attack your child but someone elses if it got out ?
I to am a dog lover & would hate to see a dog put down for no reason but this is very different. And your MIL says she doesnt want it put down so would she prefer it to get out & attack someone else & have it shot by police in their effort to control it ???
If i were you i would definately put my foot down in this circumstance there cannot be any room for movement. When a dog is known to be aggressive it can be hard enough controlling it especially when it isnt trained or handled by a strong enough person. But this dog is known to attack which is down right dangerous to keep assuming that all will be ok if its kept confined. This can actually make things worse & the problem with a lot of these dogs is they see children as a threat so become jealous so thats where the trouble can begin.
Ive had a dog trainer out for one of my dogs a few years ago due to behaviour problems after she was attacked by an aggressive dog. Not only was she scarred by the dog emotionally & physically but so was i. And as he said sometimes the owners of vicious dogs are hoping the problem will go away or that they can change its behaviour etc & love them so much they cant get them put down. Which in so many cases wont work as they are already lost causes.
That being said maybe you could see whether you could get a dog trainer out (?) but really i think its best your bubs is kept away as its only tempting fate really IMO.

[katesmom]

I have to agree with the others. Here in the States, more people are killed by dogs than by all wild animal attacks put together - including large cats, sharks and bears. If they don't want to put down the dog, then they will have to visit the child at your house. You can't compromise on your son's safety. ((hugs))

[wattle]

You are not over reacting at all. Your son is far too precious to even consider it. Put your foot down, NO MORE VISITS! I'm sure your MIL will understand if you sit down and rationally explain it to her. Perhaps she can bring cooking over to your place?

My MIL likes to cook for ds too, and rarely comes here to visit him (even though she only lives 10 mins away). She always wants him to go over there. So I understand where you're coming from.

[nemosmum]

I wouldnt be taking my son over there, nope if they want to see their grandson they can do it at your place. Seriously dont take the risk, you dont want to be on the 5 o'clock news :eek: JMO :)

[Jaileth]

I have to agree with the other ladies. Don't take your son over there - it's not worth the risk!

I know it's easy for us to say it, we aren't emotionally attached and don't have your MIL breathing down our necks. But, maybe if you talk to your dh about it - explain all of your fears and offer possible solutions - then you can go as a united front to your MIL's place. She might find it much harder to tell her son that he's over-reacting. :)

Good luck Eva - stick to your guns and don't back down!

[Pixie]

Sometimes it's better to do things your own way especially if you feel your child is at risk, the dog sounds dangerous. Just put your foot down. but make clear it's just the dog problem lol

[xkwzit]

Hi Eva
You are not overreacting. Children are very vulnerable to dogs and until your ILs prove that they can control the dog and keep the dog out of the house and away from your son, I would not take him over there.

Another thing to consider that exposure to a vicious dog *may* give him a fear of dogs that might stay with him for life.

JMO but I wouldn't expose my kids to that risk either. Stick to your guns.

Cheers

[melfunction]

I don't think you are over-reacting. The safety of your child is your priority.

Have you thought about contacting the council anonymously and making up some story about how the dog had a go at you??? It sounds dangerous to me...

[whatwasithinking]

I don't trust dogs trained or not! Sorry MO only.

Don't take him over there!
If inlaws can't understand then more fool them.

[Biene]

I'm with the others, there is no way I would send my child there.

At the end of the day you are acting in the best interests of your child and if your MIL can't see reason well its just too bad, she will just have to accept it.

My uncle had a doberman and it wasn't trained either and it constantly tried to bite me as a child even with adults around, I always felt that it used to go for me as I was the smallest.

Stick to your guns!

[Eva]

Thanks everyone for the advice. My husband is going to have a chat with his parents and we are going to let them know that we wont be going around there regularly like we used to, they can come and see their grandson at our place instead!

: )

[peterpan]

I don't think you are over-reacting. The safety of your child is your priority.

Have you thought about contacting the council anonymously and making up some story about how the dog had a go at you??? It sounds dangerous to me...

I think Kaidensmum has the right idea..... ring the council
Angela

[lukaelmo]

Bye bye doggie

[Sarie]

I'm going to start by saying that I am an animal lover. I have grown up with all sorts of animals and I love them dearly. They will always be a part of my family.
Having said that, 4 weeks ago my little Pomeranian was attacked by my neighbour's dog. She did survive and has actually completely healed. We are still amazed that she is alive today.
Our neighbours dog is a large breed (Ridgeback cross) and up until the attack we had never had any propblems with her. She was very friendly and would always come for a pat.
Now we have insisted that they keep her chained up and I won't go anywhere near her.
We had a rotti/doberman cross when my first son came along. He was a great dog, had a wonderful personality and was fantastic with both our son and with our friends kids. If he was lying on the ground the kids could lie down beside him and put their heads on him and he wouldn't move.
His only problem was that he was a big 'puppy' he never grew up. When he knocked me to the ground when I was 5 months pregnant with our second son , I sprained my ankle and we knew that we had to find him a new home. I didn't want to run the risk of him knocking down one of our kids and hurting them.
When it comes to a dog that has already shown signs of aggression, I'm afraid I wouldn't be taking my boys anywhere near it. I'm sure your inlaws wouldn't let the dog anywhere near you baby, but I know my inlaws have done some things with my kids that I scratch my head over and have to say no, don't do that again.
If the dog has already attacked several people or animals it should be a declared dangerous dog, which means 6-8 ft fencing, especially for a doberman, signage and more expensive council fees.
I don't think you're over reacting at all.