they all did a no show on my birthday (sorry long vent)

[zafyrezmummy]

Yesterday it was my birthday, being that it was a friday aswell, we thought we'd invite friends and family over for drinks to help celebrate.
DP thought it was a good idea considering the last two years i've been battling depression and other issues, we felt i was ready to celebrate as i've been getting better since DD was born.
Also a few people said i should have a party, that they would like to come, that its tradition to have a party etc etc, so i caved and agreed to invite everyone over on the friday night that was my bday.
So yesterday was the day.
DP had the day off work, and when DD woke up crying for her morning feed, i thought that he'd perhaps get up too, and maybe make me a cuppa or something? when he didnt i kinda cracked it a bit and muttered under my breath (i know i can be a brat sometimes but it was my birthday)
anyway, all that resulted in was causing a big argument where i got called this and that etc and i was sitting there in tears thinking how did i get to this?
so most of the day passed without much conversation and me feeling sorry for myself. Anyway, he snapped out of it and things were better between us after that and we set up for the party
I think it was about 9pm when i realised no one was coming though.
My mum had a migraine and couldnt make it, and also one of my friends had just got out of hospital and wasnt felng too good so they had rung earlier to tell me and wish me a happy bday anyway.
My Dp's dad, J turned up, who i dont even get along with that great, and my sister and her fella and their boarder showed up for a few hours, but she wasnt feeling good either so didnt have a drink and they didnt stay long unfortunately.

Everybody else that we invited, about 10 people and their partners, just didnt show up at all, didnt hear from any of them, no phone calls, nothing.
Which makes me think, well, what is wrong with me?
Anytime anyone has a birthday, or anything to celebrate i always make sure i put an effort in for them. When people are over i'm always polite and friendly and i think I'm a good host, i'll always offer anything i have, but when it comes to when people have a chance to do something nice for me, like even just showing up, they dont.
its hard not to think that i dont have a big neon sign on my head that says "idiot"

I think its getting me down moreso this year because i thought things had changed, that the group of friends i had now were different. When we were pg with Zaffy we moved and i cut ties with all my old friends because they were toxic, and i wanted to have DD in a stable safe loving environment.
i guess i'm just feeling sorry for myself and lonely.

My beau (DP) has tried to make it up to me since! He's been a sweetie all night and today and is paying for me to go to the hairdressers this week! so not all is bad.

thanx for letting me vent
Take care all

[V8]

happybirthday For you for yesterday! I'm so sorry that your birthday wasn't what you expected. It was good that at least your sister showed up for a little it even if it wasn't for long. Some people are also just rude for not ringing. I am the same, always go out of my way to send presents and cards for birthdays and never get a thankyou back, which is really horrid.

Glad to hear at least your DP is being nice to you. Birthdays sometimes suck, next time just have no expectations that way you are never disappointed lol.

[SassyMummy]

I had a cr*ppy birthday recently too - 8th March. I even posted a vent about it. lol.

I was lucky though, that people that I DID invite to my birthday dinner the next night, actually turned up. Mind you, I invited like, 2 friends and then my Mum, Dad and Brother, so not many people...

I would be feeling really sh*t too. People seem to care less about us as we get older... at least in my experience. If anything, I think that's when we need MORE support, love and celebration... because that's when we're out in the real world, having to deal with real-life problems. So it really DOES suck when people are totally rude and seem to forget that we have feelings.

If I were you, I'd probably be bitter and send them all a letter thanking them for making your birthday so special, and thank them for making an effort to come along to your birthday. Obviously, it'd be some sarcastic, immature "look how you made me feel!" type of thing... but I'd probably do it anyway (except for your mother and the girl who got out of hospital - at least they called to tell you!).

Or, when THEY have an event coming up, tell them you'll come and then don't. Don't even call. Just don't go. If they bring it up, say, "It doesn't feel very nice, does it?"

Again, immature and a bit b*tchy, but... oh well.

[Mum2Bug]

awwhappybirthday from the buggies hun.:hugs:

That really is very immature and disappointing of them. I dont blame you for being upset about it.

And I hope DP spends the whole weekend sucking up:D You deserve it!!!

[InSaneOne]

i can so understand that. happybirthday for yesterday - i hope that your next one is better. :hugs:

this year is my 25 birthday too. dh is 40 1 week before my birthday and all of my family have decided that they will go on holidays this year before easter. as my birthday is on easter sunday i decided to have a big lunch to celebrate my birthday/easter. and my mum and dad and my sister and my granparents will all be out of state visiting my uncle. - not once did anyone of them ask me if i wanted to go to melbourne too. no they just up and desert me. so they all will be missing my birthday and my dh's. if it weren't for dh's family i would feel so unloved. thank god they are understanding when it comes to birthdays.

so i told them all last week not to expect me to come to any of their birthdays this year. and i couldn't care less if that upsets them because they can't even be bothered to be there for mine.


sorry to hijack your thread. it is a special day in our lives and you only get so many of them. celebrate while you can and bugger the rest of them. they don't deserve to have you as a friend.:hugs:

[munchkin05]

happybirthday
for yesturday

sorry it was such a **** night for you
hope you enjoy the hairdressers !!!!!!!!!!!!

[Blessed Mum]

happybirthday for yesterday too. That really sucks. I'm sorry that you were ignored like that & for your birthday too.

Enjoy the rest of ur weekend with your DP & DD :)

[catalicious]

IIf I were you, I'd probably be bitter and send them all a letter thanking them for making your birthday so special, and thank them for making an effort to come along to your birthday. Obviously, it'd be some sarcastic, immature "look how you made me feel!" type of thing... but I'd probably do it anyway (except for your mother and the girl who got out of hospital - at least they called to tell you!).



Unfortunatly i would do this too and have done it before..

I hope your days start getting better...

Happy Birthday for Yesterday

and I hope getting your hair done is a very relaxing and fun experience..

[lovingmotheract]

happybirthday to you if it was me and you lived in canberra i would of come:yes:

[mum2bubba]

happybirthday first of all.

Secondly, I am very sorry that your "friends" are like this, I think its rather rude of them (of ANYONE) not to at least ring and say happy birthday, I understand that things come up sometimes but that is just plain rude. My dad organised for a birthday lunch last year for my birthday (like he does every year) but half an hour before we were about to go (we were all dressed and ready) he rings up to say that my sister (who was 22 and can take care of herself) has a cold and the day is cancelled. I can understand if she was dying or whatever but a cold? Me, Grant and Hayley went out that night (only because I made a fuss) and we also went out the week after but my sister never apologised or anything.

Anyway I hope your friends make it up to you

[lachys_mama]

I would have come if i was invited not that that means anything really considering you don't know me from a bar of soap and i'm pretty boring anyways but i would have made it!! happy birthday for tomorrow and i know how you feel because that has happened to me every single birthday for probably the last 5 or 6 years *sob* i feel your pain mate

[zafyrezmummy]

aw thankyou! Ur such a wonderful group of ladies!:yes:
I think i kinda expected no one to show, deep down, as this has happened before, just with different people.
I told my sister how much i appreciated her still coming, especially since she wasnt feeling great (she is recovering from bels palsy - where half her face went paralysed, plus she works way too much and takes care of sick animals:) )
My mum has since turned up, she feels really bad about not coming last night but i told her to not be silly, theres no way i expected her to attempt to drive with a migraine.
We've also had one couple ring to apologise, saying that they "just completely forgot" and realised today when they were cleaning out their sms msgs that it was my bday do last night.
I find it a bit hard to think that is a good enough excuse, but oh well, they are more my DP's friends than mine, (for eg, when they got married last year they invited DP but not me) so i just gotta accept it.
I hate it tho because as much as i would love to let them all know how much they hurt my feelings, and hold a big grudge and not turn up to things of theirs, all that jazz, i know when it comes down to it, i am too much of a softie and i always end up being the one to forgive and understand and still be nice.
Tho i did suggest to DP last nite that we should drive round to all their houses and egg them:laughing:


still havnt heard from any of the others though.

[zafyrezmummy]

well my mum only just left, i had a good afternoon/night with her, she cheered me up alot. we talked and watched some movies and Zafyre was showing off her smiles and in a pretty good mood most of the night.
Mum told me that she thnks i'm doing a great job with Zafyre and that i'm a good mum, which made me all tear up.
My housemate also came home from work today with some DVDs for a pressie for me. And DP bought me lunch:)

When i was talking to mum, i mentioned how i told my sister last nite that she didnt have to come when she rang me to say she was on her way. i had told her that no one else had showed up and cos i wasnt going to be fun company and considering she wasnt feeling wel i said its okay if she stays home and sleeps instead. Mum said "yea, she told me that" Apparantly my sis had rang mum after speaking to me, and when mum heard how tired she sounded, mum also suggested to her to stay home and sleep and for her fella and boarder to still come and my sis says "No way, i said i was going to be there for her and its her birthday and the poor thing has had no one show and she is my little sister and i'm adamant that I'm going, i promised i would, and i'm not going to let her down"
...i was a bit blown away by this when mum told me, made me cry a bit (over emotional thing i am)
so yea, i mite have 'friends' let me down but i've got a fantastic caring suportive beautiful sister, and i've always known this but today i'm realising that even if i dont have real friends, i'm lucky to have the sister i do. And my mum too. i dont know where i'd be if it werent for them.

lachys mama - next time i'll invite you too, but it'll be a bit of a hike from qld to vic:) but your quite welcome!!!

I've also decided that from now on, I matter, I am important and I'm not going to continue being nice to those who dont deserve my friendship. by saying this i dont mean i'm going to be nasty or rude, just simply that i am no longer going to go out of my way for these people who dont bother making an effort for me. i know that i am a good friend and friends are very important to me i love to make people happy but now I'll save all my friendshp and love and loyalty only for those who genuinly care for me too.
i hope that made sense.

[mum2littleman]

aww happy birthday for yesterdayhappybirthday happybirthday
im sorry to hear things didnt work out how u had hoped sending u big hugs:hugs: :hugs:

[Mel-Jane]

happybirthday happybirthday I know it's a day late, but I wanted you to know that you are special and you are worth a lot. It was my birthday yesterday too!! Next year we'll have to have a party here on Bubhub!

[zafyrezmummy]

Thankyou heaps to all you girlz who have wished me a happy bday for friday, i know i dont know any of you in "real life" but it means alot to me that you's have taken the time to not only hear (read) my vent but to reply too. You've all made me feel alot better so thanx heaps!! i really do appreciate it!


happybirthday happybirthday I know it's a day late, but I wanted you to know that you are special and you are worth a lot. It was my birthday yesterday too!! Next year we'll have to have a party here on Bubhub!
Mel-jane - a late Happy Birthday to you too for friday!!!! I hope you had a lovely day! Next year I'll definately be up for a party on bubhub:party: and we can celebrate in style and i wont have to worry about 'no-shows'

Take care all!
thanx again for making me smile!!
:)

[jessi]

Firstly, happybirthday !!

The same thing happened to me on my birthday. I had this big party planned and had invited 50 people. 3 people turned up. :crying:

I was just so devastated. You make such an effort for other people and they just couldnt give a ****.

Not to mention, that we have kids and can still manage to make the effort. All my friends are childless and have nothing besides partying to take up their time.

Anyways, if we were mates, and you invited me, I would definatly have turned up!!

[brooke]

happybirthday for yesterday.
Im so sorry your friends were so rude and didnt show, that is so awful. I think sometimes people dont realise how important it is to people to show up on their birthday! It sounds like they have a lot of making up to do! :yes:

[Myztik]

I've also decided that from now on, I matter, I am important and I'm not going to continue being nice to those who dont deserve my friendship. by saying this i dont mean i'm going to be nasty or rude, just simply that i am no longer going to go out of my way for these people who dont bother making an effort for me. i know that i am a good friend and friends are very important to me i love to make people happy but now I'll save all my friendshp and love and loyalty only for those who genuinly care for me too.
i hope that made sense.

firstly Happy Belated Birthday hun :) Sorry to hear how disappointing your night was. Just want to say that your attitude is awsome! You sound like a great person and your 'friends' obviously dont appreciate you as much as they should.. Sounds like you have a wonderful sister too..

[PunkyDiva]

Belated happybirthday for Friday.

Invite my family next time, there's so many of us we're a party on our own :p

Hijack...Belinda my birthdays easter sunday too but I'm a tad older then you.