How Long does it take?

[~Kimba~]

DS has been a difficult sleeper since he was 3 months old and I am desperately trying to get him to settle without needing to be breastfed and cuddled to sleep each time, especially as I return to work in a few weeks. It's also not good for him to be sleeping poorly and waking often, so I really want to help him learn to sleep better.

NCSS techniques were not getting us there, so I took DS to Tresillian on Monday for a daystay and they showed me some 'self-settling' (they don't call it CC any more LOL) techniques. I'm not comfortable with full-on CC especially as DS is only 5 months old but they showed me a modified approach which didn't feel too bad and DS responded well to it during the daystay.

Anyway we're now on day 4 of this approach at home, and my poor DS is really hoarse from grizzling/ protesting and crying at each nap/ bedtime, and more so, from crying whenever I try to get him to 'resettle' (as they insisted I have to do) when he wakes after one sleep cycle. Today was the worst day yet, with him really fighting it and getting more upset than on other days. He slept worse during the day today than he has in ages.

I feel so horrible and guilty and miserable but I know that gentle persistence is the key and that a few days of this should lead to long term success and better sleep for DS in the long run.

How much longer do I have to persist though, before we start to make headway? I thought it would be getting easier by day 4, not harder.

Any support or success stories welcome!

[harvey123]

there's nothing harder than having to listen to your poor bub cry. we had succes with cc, a midwife told me to call it controlled comforting..i think that's just so you don't feel like you'e being cruel. we only tried it cause i was struggling with feeding on demand and couldn't keep it up. i needed sleep. i felt the worst mum in the world when we first did it and i cried heaps. it was heavy going for about 3-4 days and one week i even stopped doing it because guilt got the better of me and i paid for it. it took 3 days to get dd back to normal.

we try to keep her to a 3 or 4 hour cycle of feed, play and sleep. as soon as she stirs, not once she's crying, i feed her and give her a burb (start counting the 4 hrs from when she wakes up).

we then play for the rest of a 1 and 1/2 period. so she's up for 1 and 1/2 hours out of 3 or 4 hours. then we put her down and i now give her a few teething toys to play with and she has one of those aquarium things. we put her in a grobag, she takes ages to settle without any covers. she tend to wake after 40 mins and i normally let her grizzle if it's nothing to cranky or go in and stroke to get her to calm down. she's rolling over now so i always keep an eye on her because she tends to get stuck.

i think you just really need to be sure why they're crying. we always made sure we could cross all the important stuff off before we'd let her cry a bit. so as long as your satisfied he's clean, feed, etc. i found if i knew that dd was ok in everyway i could make better than i could do cc. i still get the guilts about it but i just didn't have the mental strength to keep up with no sleep. it better for all of us to have sleep.

dd has now slept thru since she was about 3 mths and still has naps during the day. the crying is now at a minimum. this is what worked for us. let me know if i can offer any other advice, cc may seem awful but we do need to look after ourselves as well.

[cosmic]

The only comment I would like to make.. and this is after becoming a parent of a 'not so great' sleeper.... is that they are little individuals, and I really do not think that trying to get them to sleep when they CLEARLY do not want to sleep is helpful to anyone.

My DD is now 10mths old and appears, in the last week, to have dropped a day sleep. Oh joy. :rolleyes: She's never been the greatest day sleeper and it took her almost 8mths to sleep through the night without a feed (she still wakes overnight for cuddles)...

But as I see it, there's no point in me trying to get her to have an afternoon sleep, or leaving her cry (and distressing us BOTH!) if she really, truly does not want to sleep. :confused:

The other thing I've noticed is that if I do get DD to have that afternoon sleep, she's awake till all hours at night, but if she skips it, she's in bed nice and early. Bliss! :D But the point is - she obviously has a set number of hours that she needs to sleep (just as you do and I do and we all do) and if she gets them in the day, she's ditching them at night. I know what I prefer!!!

And as for us mums being sleep deprived, well I agree that sucks, but I see it as all part of the sacrifice of motherhood. It's tough.. but it's very very very short-term. ;)

[SalTheGal]

The only comment I would like to make.. and this is after becoming a parent of a 'not so great' sleeper.... is that they are little individuals, and I really do not think that trying to get them to sleep when they CLEARLY do not want to sleep is helpful to anyone.

Thats all well and good, but it doesn't halp when they are exhausted and you know they need a sleep.

Hang in the Kimba!!

Just a thought that I had........Nedd has started improving his sleep enormously and I think maybe cause I have introduced a soft blanket that I put in his arms when he is on his side and I am patting him, he grips onto it and snuggles his face in and it seems to calm him enormously, do you have anything like this for Jet? It especially helps for the resettle after the sleep cycle, when i put him back on his side to repat.

I previously had a little teddy for him which he didn't seem fussed about one way or another......since I have introduced the blanket (on the weekend) he has loved it.

[Gumby]

Hey Kimba, James has a message for Jet " :thumbsdown: *whispers softly* mummys are so much more fun when they have a decent night sleep. Plus sleep helps you grow nice and strong. Mummys are ace, especially ours and how cool would it be if we give them the gift of sleep. Are you with me?? *
I am not lying, he did say that....lol....

Kimba, I really feel for you hunny.Whatever you decide to do, you need to be persistant with it. Also if it means them grizzly for a bit, once the routine is set, they dont do it forever and it does get easier.

I dont know how I was so lucky with James but I am sending you "GO TO SLEEP NOW, DONT MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE" vibes.
Actually I would love to come down there just to pinch his cheeks and give you a big hug and drink all your coffee :D

[Gumby]

Sorry, I know I was no help...lol