Miscarriage questions

[funnyfarm]

Hi everyone,

Two days ago i started bleeding (9 weeks) and had an ultrasound yesterday that showed the baby had stopped growing at 7.5 weeks and had no heartbeat.

My doctor advised me that it is best to let things happen naturally, but she said if nothing has happened by wednesday, to see her and go from there.

I am just wondering if it's not too personal to ask, what to expect (ie. pain, recovery time frame etc ) and also if anyone had to have a d&c and were there any compications from this.

Thanks again.

Janet

[tickle]

Janet,
Sorry I can't give you any advice re: what to expect but I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the loss of you bubba.
I wish you all the best.

[Nickster]

Hi Janet,
I have never been through what you are going through, but let me offer you my sympathy - I am so sorry for your loss. Just know there's always an ear here for you on bubhub....

[Percy]

Hello

I have miscarried twice. At 13 weeks and 8 weeks. I have PM'd you with a bit more details.

Take care of yourself and pm if you need to talk.

Im so sorry for your loss

[titania]

Janet,

I have no advice to give, but I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your loss. Be kind to yourself and take time to to grieve for for the loss of your little angel.

Warm Regards,
sarah

[shereejoy]

Hi Janet, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you as I have experienced the same thing.

My last pregnancy we weren't trying and my period was late but I didn't realise and then 2 days later I started brown discharging which I just thought was an unusual period. When this went on for nearly 2 weeks, thought I should get to the doc. Sure enough I was pregnant, was raced for a scan because of my discharge and I had twins, one sac with nothing in it, as I appeared to have been m/c that already and another bubba with a hb of 109bpm, which they told me was slow. They asked me to come back in 10 days for another scan (7 weeks) and then there was no longer a hb. I was devastated, I saw the gyno on the Monday after the Friday of my scan and he booked me in for a d&c on that next Friday. I did not m/c naturally so yep a d&c was in order.

From my experiences, ie: this pregnancy, I bled red (profusely) and passed a clot and cramped at nearly 12 weeks, and I am now 16 weeks and all is well. But seeing that come from me even though it is the most natural way was more devastating then that of a d&c (as you are out to it and unawares). That is just my experience, but I would prefer a d&c over m/c naturally even though at the time a d&c was not great either, I reacted badly to the anithestic, my blood pressure is normally 120/80 and it went down to 80/50. I was very sick and then that night I had terrible cramping from my uterus trying to go back to normal size, but that would be normal for a d&c or natural m/c I would imagine.

I hope this helps.

I hope are going ok, please keep us updated and let me know if I can help further.

[Tracie]

Hi Janet,

I too had a miscarriage, followed by a D&C. The procedure was done in Day Surgery and was very straight forward, and no problems with recovery - some painkillers for a day or so, but that was it. In hindsight though, had my OB fully explained the risks and also that it wasn't absolutely necessary to have one, I probably wouldn't have gone ahead, just let nature take it's course.

But that's me, and of course this decision is entirely yours.....just make sure you get both sides of the story so you can choose what is best for you during what is a very emotional time.

Surgery aside though, what I did need was a lot of love and care and a week off work to really process what happened and deal with the big emotions that come with a miscarriage. So my advice would be to just be true to your feelings and be sad if you want to.

Don't let anyone dismiss the miscarriage and expect you to get on with things without grieving for your lost bub. No matter how long you carry your baby, 3 wks, 7 wks, 12 wks....., you still develop a bond with them (by talking to them, dreaming about whether it will be a boy or girl, imagining what they will look like, choosing names etc) So it is really important to process your loss.

My heart really goes out to you and I wish you lots of strength.

Big 7 Second Hugs
Tracie
xxxxx

PS..Here is some great info I found for you on OB/GYN.net with a bit about both the for and the against........

A cervical Dilation and Curettage is a procedure where the uterine cervix is dilated in some fashion, and the uterine contents are extracted, either by scraping with a curette, or by applying suction through a tube.

A D&C is not always necessary after a miscarriage, and in fact it is preferable to avoid the potential risks of surgery (even "minor surgery") and anesthesia if possible. A natural miscarriage is generally safer, with fewer risks of complications. On the other hand, a natural miscarriage can be a prolonged and potentially scary process, with increasing pain and cramping, associated with bleeding, sometimes very, very heavy bleeding as your uterus contracts to expell the products of conception. There is also the time factor, since the miscarriage is not likely to take place on any sort of schedule.

The only advantages that a D&C has over a natural miscarriage is that you know when it is going to happen, and the duration of the process is short. The risk of infection is about the same either way, but the surgery has complications, and so does the anesthesia. Admittedly, these risks are low, but they are still higher than with a spontaneous miscarriage.

[maybe1more]

hey sweetie, how are you coping? I know how hard it is to go through such a tramatic event like this. I when for my 12 week u/s as my doc thought i was having twins, and they discovered a had a molar pregancy, when is a tumor that surrounds the baby. So i had to have a D&C and it wasnt pleasant. I was in alot of pain afterwards and bleed for about 3 days after, and didnt get my normal period back untill 7 weeks later. My thoughts and prays are with you:)

[mum2peanut]

Hi Janet,
Sorry to hear about your m/c. I had a m/c in July this year, 10 wks p/g, but lost the baby at 7 or 8 wks. I had a D&C cause I hadn't bled much and dr thought it was best. Just in hosp for the day. Had bad cramping afterwards and was in bed for a few days, took the week off work to recover emotionally and physically.
I was hard though, cause so many people didn't know I was p/g yet. I didn't tell anyone,besides close friends and fam, for me it was just easier not to talk about it unecessarily.
It's so hard, you get so excited and when it happens it like your world crumbles around you. it does get easier. And, on the upside I fell p/g again very quickly and all is going we this time around.
All the best, thinking of you.

[bpato]

Hi

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is a hard thing to come to terms with, but it some ways it is a blessing in disguse as there was obviously something wrong with the foetus, and this unfortunaley is the way our bodies deal with it.

I too m/c at somewhere around 6 to 8 weeks, sept 2004.

My OBGYN booked me in for a D&C, as she advised that sometimes the body doesn't always m/c very well, and it can take several weeks for it to be complete, or in most cases not complete. Most women who let things take thier course end up weeks later having a D&C as not all the foetus has been expelled.

I was in hospital for 4 1/2 hours, and the procedure only take 20 - 30 minutes. I had no physical pain afterwards, and the bleeding had stopped within a week.

One of the advantages of having a D&C if you want to look at it the same way I did is that they completely clean your uterus, getting rid of any fybroid ect, and gives you uterus bascially a clean start. I got a period 6 weeks after the procedure, and then fell pregnate two weeks after that and carried to term, with no major issues to speak of. I OBGYN adivsed that falling pregnate after a D&C can be qiuck, as everything is new, you lining ect, and you can start trying strat away if you wish. She adivsed me that 60% of women fall pregnate within the six weeks of having the D&C.

Take care of yoursefl

Belinda

[Mischief]

Hi Janet,

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss....Hugs to you. XXOO

Ive never been though a MC, but one of my closest friends has. She started bleeding and but had to have a DC to finish it off though. I know that for her there was no easier way, it was totally devastating and even a year on she still morns the loss of her bub.

She went for her 12 weeks scan and was told that their was no heartbeat and the baby had died around 8 weeks....

You do whatever feels best for you, and gather your friends and family around for support. XXOO PM me if you want to chat at any time and remember you have heaps of support on this forum.

[zafyrezmummy]

hey janet
How are you coping? its such a terrible thing to lose your baby. i'm really sorry for you, just know we are all here for each other!
I m/c at 14 weeks, it was classed an incomplete m/c and i had no choice, i had to have a d&c.
I did get to choose whether i'd like a general or a local anaesthetic, i opted to be asleep during it tho. i felt it was better that way.After the procedure the hospital did not want to let me out because my blood pressure was too low and i couldn't stand or walk.
After about seven hours or so they reluctantly let me discharge myself (it was too hard being in the hospital), because by that stage i could stand up.
For two days after, when i'd get up i could only walk at a snails pace, it felt like a marathon just walking to the loo.
A week after and i could walk normally without feeling faint. It was about 2 weeks before i felt right enough to do things like driving etc tho.
The bleeding stopped after 3 weeks and a course of antibiotics.
well, thats just my personal experience, my mum (who also had a m/c and D&c when she was 19) told me that she felt like she'd been hit by a truck afterwards.
The doctor told me everyone reacts differently to a d&c, so if you do have to undergo one, i hope your recovery is as quick and painless as possible!
Please let us know what happens, all the best to you and good luck! -jomarie

[funnyfarm]

Thanks everyone for your support. I ended up having a d&c done on the following Thursday and was in hospital overnight due to low blood pressure. My bleeding stopped the next day and had no discomfort at all other that that first night.

I am moving house next week so i have had this and also Christmas to keep me busy and i think that this has helped me cope and deal with it all. I am now feeling fine emotially and physically but my doctor did advise me to wait at least 3 months before trying again and with the move next week and settling in to a new house we will be pretty busy anyway.

Emotially the biggest hurdle was that i had the perfect little family all figured out. Since finding out that i was pregnant and that there was going to be just over 2 years between the baby and my daughter Briana, i started daydreaming happy families (if you know what i mean) and now the age difference will be bigger (not a bad thing, just that is not how i had planned it) although i can now see the positives in a bigger age gap.

Also with Briana i got very bad morning sickness (hospitalised) and with this pregnancy i didn't get sick at all. I was very excited about this as i thought i could actually enjoy this pregnancy (now looking back it was probably a sign that everything was not OK). So now i have all the fears again that i will get sick with the next pregnancy and with a daughter to look after aswell it plays on my mind a bit.

Sorry for the rant, i thought i would just let you all know how I am going. Thanks again.

Janet.

[Kirstlea]

Hi Janet

I'm sorry to read your sad news. I m/c at 19 weeks which I know is late, but the body is an amazing thing. I went into labour naturally and went through the whole thing as if I was full term. The only thing that went wrong besides the obvious was that the placenta wouldn't release even with the drugs they use to speed the process up so I had to have an emergency D & C. For your sake I hope it all goes naturally as sometimes the added stress of worrying about operations etc just makes it harder

Good luck and my thoughts are with you.

Kirsten

[Kirstlea]

Hi Janet

Kirsten again - sorry I didn't read though all the posts before I replied to your original post.

I can totally understand the dreaming of happy familys I had the same illusion. My daughter is 2 and 1/2 now and I'm still not pregnant. My m/c was in May 05.

It kind of feels like if I don't do it soon it will be too late. I'm 37 next month and don't like the idea of being 60 years old at my kids 21st.

Sounds silly I know.

Hope you are ok lots of hugs.

Kirsten

[MilkOnTap]

Don't let anyone dismiss the miscarriage and expect you to get on with things without grieving for your lost bub. No matter how long you carry your baby, 3 wks, 7 wks, 12 wks....., you still develop a bond with them (by talking to them, dreaming about whether it will be a boy or girl, imagining what they will look like, choosing names etc) So it is really important to process your loss.

Janet, please let me offer my sympathy. I have never had a miscarriage but I have lost two babies to ectopic pregnancies. I totally agree with what Tracie has said above. My counsellor actually said the same thing (I saw someone after losing the baby) Apparantly it only takes 24 hours for a mother to develop a life-long bond with her baby, where it takes 3 weeks plus for a father (just a bit of useless trivia for you.)

Again my deepest sympathies. If I can do anything, please let me know.