returning to work

[hummingbird]

Hi everyone,

I am due in April and have up until recently thought I would apply for 12 month maternity leave. The more I think about it, the more I realise that we will not be able to afford to do this.

I have discussed my options with my employer and they are quite happy to work with me and have talked about returning earlier on a part time basis and the possibility of working from home.

I would be very interested to hear from those mums (or dads!) who returned to work from three months after the birth, either part time or full time, and what feelings they have taken away from that experience.

What was your motivation for going back to work soon after the birth?
Do you regret not having stayed at home longer?
If you were able to go back part time or work from home, did this work for you and do you have any advice or tips on how you managed?
What support did you have in terms of looking after your baby? Did you rely on family / friends / childcare / nanny? How did these options work for you?

Any other useful feedback would be appreciated.

Cheers,
Siobhan

[nemosmum]

I would be very interested to hear from those mums (or dads!) who returned to work from three months after the birth, either part time or full time, and what feelings they have taken away from that experience.

My sis returned to work when my DN, her son was 3 months old, his now 9 months so shes been working full time for 6 months, she leaves at 7am and doesnt get home till 7pm so its a very long day!

What was your motivation for going back to work soon after the birth?
Her motivation was their bills that they just couldnt afford to pay on her DH's wage alone plus they have debt and her employer didnt provide any maternity leave (which sux :mad: )

Do you regret not having stayed at home longer?
She doesnt regret returning to work as it was not really an option with their lifestyle. However she does miss her son alot and wishes she could spend more time with him etc

What support did you have in terms of looking after your baby? Did you rely on family / friends / childcare / nanny? How did these options work for you?
My sisters MIL takes care of her bub 4 days a week and our mum takes him one day. It has worked out great as she doesnt pay child care and the nana's get to spend time with him :)

Hope that helps.

ps I went back 2 days a week when O was 8 months old and I loved it for about 4 months but now I miss O soooooo much even though its only two days a week LOL I would love to be a sahm!

[Chickadee]

I went back part time, 3 days a week, when dd was around 4.5 months old. It's tough at first, but manageable. I think 4 days a week would have been too difficult. It helps if your employer is flexible and understanding about you being on call to immediately pick your bub back up from daycare if they become ill. I was lucky in that I could pick my days to work, which meant it was easier to get daycare places. My job has always required overtime when we have deadlines and so there have been days when I have had to pick DD up from daycare and bring her to the office until my work for the day is done, but luckily she was a good bub and my boss didn't mind her crawling around my office.

When we moved to Melbourne a month ago I continued working part time for my office in Perth, but from my own home. I don't recommend it unless you have your child in daycare (or other care like family) or unless you are very very self-driven and committed to setting aside hours in the day & weekends to work. It is difficult if not impossible to work while caring for a toddler 24/7, and remembering what DD was like at 4, 6 and 12 months I'd say the same thing on working and caring for a baby. Some mums manage it, maybe it depends on your particular job or being able to work with young bubs in a sling with you.

Good luck on finding an arrangement that works for you.

[hummingbird]

anyone else?

[mumworkingoverseas]

Hmmm, not sure if I will be much help as I probably have more options than most working Mums.

1. What was your motivation for going back to work soon after the birth?

My career. I got a great new job and I needed to be back at work. I could have taken a year off and returned to my original job but I would have missed out on my current job. That said if I my career wasn't so good, I probably would have had a lot more time off.

2. Do you regret not having stayed at home longer?

No, because I went back part-time. I worked mornings while DD was in childcare and had afternoons with her. Then I completed any extra work in the evenings. I did this from when DD was 3 months until she was 11 months.

3. If you were able to go back part time or work from home, did this work for you and do you have any advice or tips on how you managed?

Don't try to work with your children at home. I found it too distracting. I found I completed far more work if DD was in daycare for the morning than if she was home with me and I tried to work all day.

4.What support did you have in terms of looking after your baby? Did you rely on family / friends / childcare / nanny? How did these options work for you?

No family nearby but I have a very supportive husband who shares all aspects of parenting. I used daycare in the mornings from 3-11 months, now I have a full-time live in nanny as part of my expat package. While I prefer having a nanny who follows our routine and rules exactly and who DD adores, I never had any problems with the childcare centre we used.

[Supermum]

Hi Siobhan

I returned to work after my first DS after just 12 weeks. :( He had severe reflux, I had PND and I was working five days a week.

What was your motivation for going back to work soon after the birth? My husband was a landscaper ... not a well-paid vocation. We had a mortgage and I earnt more money (marginally but enough to make a difference) so had to return. The leave I took was all Annual Leave - there was no paid Maternity Leave.

Do you regret not having stayed at home longer? Yes. I wish I could have. I think I would have breastfed longer and perhaps sought treatment for myself as well. I've always wanted to be a SAHM. The feeling of leaving such a young baby in a daycare facility four days a week (dad had one day at home) was heartwrenching. I used to cry all the way to work.

If you were able to go back part time or work from home, did this work for you and do you have any advice or tips on how you managed? Inflexible employer - not possible. There wasn't a provision for b/f mothers either - nowhere apart from the toilets to express.

What support did you have in terms of looking after your baby? Did you rely on family / friends / childcare / nanny? How did these options work for you? Parents always happy to help but live miles away so see the children once a fortnight, in-laws who live locally are not in the slightest bit interested.

I think an ideal situation for me would be to work from home for 2 days per week and 3 days with the children at home with me. I wouldn't get a thing done if I had them both at home with me and I was trying to work!

Good luck with your decision ... it's not an easy one. My advice would be to stay at home as long as you realistically can. If you can afford to go back on a part-time basis - that sounds great.

[xkwzit]

Hi Siobhan

I went back to work part time when my DDs were 7 and 6 months respectivley. Before DD1 was born I told everyone that I would prob come back part time from 3 months and maybe full time from 6 months. I didn't even get back to work until 7 months and have been part time ever since (and LOVING it). I had lots of problems bf DD1 that didn't really resolve until she was almost 4 months old. I had to have little things done (like moles removed etc) that I'd put off while pg and didn't get around to that until 4 - 5 months. So it took 6 months to get me back together after DD1. DD2 wasn't nearly as long - I was ready to go back at 6 months.

I thought you could easily do 6 hours of work over a day (including evenings) if working from home with bub. Seriously I was on another planet :eek: , but you've got some great advice here. If you want to work from home, try to get a carer for your child (either day care or a baby sitter). Beware though, once your child is older, they will want to be with mummy if you are in the house, so having them cared for at home may still be stressful. I often choose to go into the office when I could work from home because DD2 (19months) will not willingly leave me and my laptop alone.

But to your specific questions (and apologies supermum for copying your formatting :p )

What was your motivation for going back to work soon after the birth? I was worried about becoming a bit obsolete - particularly if I'd taken a couple of years off. If I had taken a long amount of time, I doubt I would have gone back to my profession. I was worried about losing contacts and would have had to rebuild a network of clients.

Do you regret not having stayed at home longer? No. I have found that part time (20 hours week over 3 days) suits us really well. I still get to take DDs to swimming lessons and out shopping. Part time also allowed me to keep up with expressing for BF because it wasn't everyday. I also have short days, so the girls are at daycare from 8am-4pm most of the time.

If you were able to go back part time or work from home, did this work for you and do you have any advice or tips on how you managed? I was very lucky to have ppl say OK do what you want. I'm contactable by email and mobile phone (checking messages - not answering - I've learnt my lesson there, I don't take voice calls unless my girls are ASLEEP). I've not had anyone complain (to my face). I find I'm more efficient for the 20 hours I'm there because I really should be working 100% during that time (no long water cooler discussions for me).

I'd also like to add, if you can afford it, having someone come over to clean your house is GREAT. I promised myself that if I went back to work after DD1 I was getting a cleaner. We have them in once a fortnight and we do the occasional toilet scrub, vacuum in between. That way you're not spending the time you have at home doing house work, you can play with the kids :D .

What support did you have in terms of looking after your baby? Did you rely on family / friends / childcare / nanny? How did these options work for you? My mum looked after both babies when they were little. I could not have gone back to work if she hadn't. It would take a year to get a daycare placement, and I was reluctant to put a little baby in daycare. DD1 went to daycare at 15months, DD2 at 11 months.

I think the hardest thing is how to cope when the kids aren't well and can't go to daycare. Some days I've packed a sick kid off to work with me for an hour while I pick up stuff to do at home. Some days DH has stayed home. Somedays both of us cross our fingers because we both have imp meetings on the same day and really need the kids to be well enough for day care. Twice I've called my mother and SHE has taken a day off work to look after a sick kid. I would try to build a network of parents who you can swap babysitting duties with if your kids aren't well.

Cheers, just remember that you've got to find the answer that works for you.

[hummingbird]

Thank you to all who responded.

There is some great advice and feedback I am taking on board.

[ThomasMum]

Hiya Siobhan, sorry for the late respond! Heres some info based on our experience:


What was your motivation for going back to work soon after the birth? I went back to work when Thomas was 5 months old (2 days/week) because I’ve been lucky to have such great job/degree/company plus we found the best childcare for Thomas

Do you regret not having stayed at home longer? No I don’t think so. Going back to work was my own decission. As I don’t have to work if I don;t want to because my husband earns enough already. But because I like to be independence i.e. I don’t like taking money from my husband plus we don’t receive any help from the government so I don't mind earning my own money! Plus to make it easier I have a very supportive husband who helps and contributes equally of the house works which makes things run smoother.

If you were able to go back part time or work from home, did this work for you and do you have any advice or tips on how you managed? Part time (2 days/week) suits us perfectly. Thomas can interact with the outsiders for 2 days-he gets to spend time with other kids at the childcare, and I get to spend my time with “grown up” yet we still have plenty time to be together as a family. No, I don’t think I can work from home. Because it would be hard to concentrate as for me being home mean 100.1% devotion goes to Thomas and family only.

What support did you have in terms of looking after your baby? Did you rely on family / friends / childcare / nanny? How did these options work for you? After long search we were so lucky to have found one of the best childcares in the area. Initially we were planning to have a nanny because it costs the same, but we like the benefits of childcare e.g. Thomas can interact with other kids, the idea of having extended family and so on. Thomas clearly enjoys being at childcare because his personality hasn’t changed, he’s still a happy, healthy baby Thomas!

Good Luck Siobhan, dont worry about what the "critics" said! :D

TM

[Brooksy]

Hi Siobhan,

I am due to give birth to bub #1 on 31st Dec, I am going to be going back to work 8 weeks after i give birth due to financial reasons. i would really love to stay home longer with bub but with having a mortage and bills to pay it's not possible. Plus in my line of work don't get any paid maternity leave. I work in a child care centre.

The thing i feel good about it that dh is going to stay home for two weeks when i do go back to work and then my mum has offered to look after bub two days and dh's parents want to look after bub two days and i can take bub to work with me one day. We are very lucky that we have family support as there are lots of new mums and dads that don't.

Dh was suppose to get a big bonus this year but no one got it as one of the mangers stuffed up big time. The maternity payment we will get will help cover out bills while i'm off work.

I've had various comments from lots of people and sometimes i feel really bad about not being home longer, but i know my baby will be absolutely fine, it will tiring and tough but there are lot of people out there that do it as well.



good luck and don't let people's comments get you down you have what is right for your family.

brooksy (29)
Dh (37)
bub #1 due 31st dec