Do you 'just know'you've had enough children?

[MummyCharmzy]

For those of you that have finished having children, do you just know thats enough for you or would you like more?

We will definitely be having one more bub if I get the health all clear in 9 days. We plan on TTC in july but I know it has to be my last for health reasons and it being my 4th csect and I am so worried that I won't feel my family is complete. I never thought I would want more than 4 children but I do.

Is anyone else in my position and would like more but for health reasons cant have more? How do you cope?

We are looking into fostercare as well, I would love to help some other families and fill our home with more children.

Just wondering if anyone else is feeling as I am

[Aquamarine]

I have to say I am with you on this one.

I have three at the moment and I just know I haven't finished and will have at least 1 more.

You start to get to the point where you say 'gee am I going overboard?' but you just feel that it wouldn't be right if you don't have another....

The ONLY thing that worries me about getting pregnant again is the damn morning sickness. I think, if I didn't get sick I would probably end up with 100 children:laughing:

We too, are considering fostering or adopting in the future.

[PunkyDiva]

I feel bad talking about wanting more children as there seems to be so many that have trouble conceiving even one. I looked into egg donation but after reading about the other side of the story from egg donor children and the very significant health risks to me decided I wasn't a likely candidate after all:crying:

I have 5 and would like more (I so remember after having my first swearing that no way on earth was I doing that again LOL), we are in the process of becoming foster parents. Because I've worked in disability we are looking at babies/young children with problems that not many people could take into their homes.

The melbourne childrens hospital has a volunteer programme where you can go and cuddle sick babies with no/limited family contact all day.

[~Emmylou~]

I really swing back and forth on this.

Realistically, we should be done. I'm 34 this year, I have a two year old and a 5 month old so if I were to have another one, for the sake of my sanity there would need to be at least a 2-3 year gap. That will put me around 36 or 37.
Financially we would be stretched with three. And I'm prone to GD/insulin issues when I'm pregnant which will only get worse as I get older.

But other days I look at my kids and think gee I'd like just one more......
I think I will come to a place where I am ok with not having anymore, I guess I don't really want that "baby" part of my life to be over KWIM? I don't know that I necessarily want more kids, sometimes I think I just like the idea of it if that makes sense....

[FourAngelKisses]

I haven't even had my 4th yet, but I still feel like I'm not done. I know I need to stop after this one (due to cost, house size etc), but I feel like I will never feel complete and it hurts.

I think some of use are just meant to have large families and that the urge to have more will never go away.

If we won the lotto, I would have a few more.

[mamabearof3]

I never felt like I was done with 2 children. I tried for a while to convince dh to have number 3 he was agreeable sometimes but it wasn't always when I was ovulating so that didn't really help that. We did get pregnant eventuall and miscarried then when we were truly not trying and I was accepting that we were not going to have any more we found out about our surprise baby was on the way. Now she is here I do feel like the family is complete. It may sounds strange to say but I always felt there was a little girl spirit around me and I felt she was with me when I was pregnant and didn't know she was a girl so during the pregnancy I felt it was definately a complete family whether she stuck with us or not. Of course she is born now and I still feel complete with our children. 3 is definately plenty for me too.

[CJJHRA]

I have 6 kids, and some days I still feel there's someone missing (yes even in the chaos LOL) but I know my body and mind cant handle another pregnancy. Lately I feel as I would love a little baby, but I dont want to go through all the preg related stuff again.

[karcarcor]

I loved being pregnant, and my labours were quick and easy(as easy as labour can get!!!!)
I always wanted 4, 2 of each, and I have that and thy're all happy, healthy kids so I feel like I shouldn't want or need anymore, but I just dont want to stop.
I feel like I would be tempting fate if I had another one. And other people make me feel like I shouldn't want anymore.
Is it selfish to want to have more children?
I am always getting comments on how happy my children are, and well behaved they are.
:ecomcity: Anyway, to answer the question, I don't know.....I dont feel "finished" yet. And my mother says she never had the "completed" feeling either - even now. She says it never goes away.

[CJJHRA]

Oh I loved being pregnant to a point, (the best part was no AF). all the kicking and movement. When I was preg with DD (Didn't know she was a girl) it was so different than with the boys, even so different than with the twins, I ached all over, was constantly tired, and even though she was only small, and I never had a big belly with her, it was so hard to get comfortable, even more so than when I was 37 weeks with the twins, so I just remember that, and know I cant do it again. I never really had any morning sickness with any of them, the births were all easy, VB, no complications.

I look at my lot and I really dont think there is that many of them, but others look at you like OMG, look at all thise kids :eek:

We dont have anymore room in the car, so thats a big consideration too for us. We do have a 5bed house though, but the rooms are on the smallish side, but still room to fit more :p

[MummyCharmzy]

thank you for all the replies, I really don't feel finished yet but I'm hoping 'one more' will do the trick lol Or twins would be nice...

Theres now 8 days until my pre conception counselling appt and gee its getting more stressful every day of the lead up!

Being a mummy is just the greatest, despite thinking one more will 'do the trick' I can imagine I will forever feel a little ache inside for 'one more' perhaps just not as strong as it is right now though :)

[Mariposa]

i felt this way after having dd2. but since having dd3, im definitely content!

[FourAngelKisses]

i felt this way after having dd2. but since having dd3, im definitely content!


I was the same, until he turned 2, then that feeling came back, lol.

[MummyCharmzy]

I was the same, until he turned 2, then that feeling came back, lol.

dont say that lol

one more will do the trick for me... won't it?? lol

if not maybe I'll need to adopt and not just do fostering hehe :D

I want a houseful of kids - its not full enough yet!

[FourAngelKisses]

DH read my original post in this thread yesterday. :o He thinks I'm nuts as I find it difficult to cope with the 3 I already have some days. Plus I told him I don't want anymore, which is true, I don't, but only because we can't afford more.

I don't think men get as maternal as we do. :(

[MummyCharmzy]

I don'tthink they do either, though my DF definitely goes through clucky stages just not as many as me lol

[MyFab4]

I just had my 4th in December. We didn't want anymore after bub #3 but changed our minds. We decided this one would have to be it and that DH would have a vasectomy once bub arrived. Since bubs arrival he was talking about getting it done and I'm like there's plenty of time, I can take the pill for a few more years yet. It's just too final. I don't think DH wants anymore bubbas but I already think it would be nice to have another. I have 2 boys and 2 girls so I should be content. Should't I?

[MummyCharmzy]

we have two of each and I'm not content yet so I don't think that does the trick!

We also talked about my DP getting the snip previously but quite quickly decided against it obviously!

Thanks for all the replies so far ladies, much appreciated :D

[flib]

In my heart I'd love to have another but we have to stop. I can JUST cope with 3 physically, financially, mentally!! I think one more would tip the balance!

I do love being pregnant and carrying a new little person. It is totally exhausting especially once you have other kids! I don't think I could do it again.

I'm lucky to have DD2 - an accident at age 40! She's not quite 5 months and absolutely adorable so I'm enjoying her babyhood as much as possible, as well as my older 2.

Best wishes

[RuthK]

I wasn't too sure whether I'd want another after this one comes (my 4th) as I'll be 38, but my body has decided for me. Developed quite severe symphysis pubis dysfunction at 24 weeks, am on crutches and in quite a bit of pain. I love my children immensely (although not too fond of being pregnant), so this condition has made my mind up for me and this will be my last. I found it it would be a girl, so I'll have boy, girl, boy & girl, which I think is just perfect!

[madreader]

I am the very proud mum of three little boys and i would dearly love to have one more. I have just turned 38 and with my last pregnancy i developed PIH which very scary. My bp got up to 160/110 and was admitted to hospital at 36 weeks. If there was any guarantee that this would not happen again, then i may go for it. I just feel that one more baby for me would definiyely complete my family.

[spiritedfamily]

Before this last pregnancy (5) I wasn't sure but now I am...I think I'm starting to understand that complete, next phase feeling.

[V8]

I only have one, but always have dreamt of having 4-6 kids. I have to see how my body handles another pregnancy and labour first.

[jasminesmum]

After having my dd I now feel complete and know that I'm happy with the children I have now.

[nemosmum]

I would love more babies but just cant face giving birth again PLUS i dont think i could handle any more atm.

Maybe when my two are alot older 7 or 8 i may think of having another one BUT i doubt it.....dont want to give birth again :no: even though my last labour was only an hour and a half! Even that was too long! lol

Gd luck with having another bub hun i hope you get the all clear re: your health!

[MummyCharmzy]

I did :D We start TTC in just on 4 months!! :D:D I can't wait! :D

[V8]

I did :D We start TTC in just on 4 months!! :D:D I can't wait! :D

Congrats Charmzy, so you got the all clear then?

[eternalmaternal]

I sure hope I get a sense of completion one day:laughing: It isn't there just yet. I was an only child growing up ( I now have 3 half brothers) I really enjoy being a part of a large family and am very, very proud. I enjoy having my "hands full":rolleyes: I truly adore having my heart fullValentine .

I was thinking when I was having number 4 that we better not have anymore mostly from all the comments I was receiving and dp booked in for the snip. I cried all day and we didn't go ahead with it. I have had some inner growth lately and really don't care what anyone else thinks. We don't ask anyone for anything, I work (at night while my babies sleep 2 nights a week) We will do what makes us happy. You only live once. I don't want to live with regrets and I know I will regret it if I don't have another one. I know I will never regret having any of my children So there is at least one more to have:smiliedance: .

It is sad how hard it is for some people to have babies but this musn't inhibit us loving parents from having more. As long as we can care and provide for our children we aren't doing anything wrong. I lost my first 2 bubs and wondered if I would ever have any at the time. I understand there pain.

[madreader]

Congrats on getting your all clear to ttc. Good luck and i wish you all the best with your health.:yes:

[rollercoastermum]

I would love more children but I decided to stop at 7.. although I loathe odd numbers!

I just felt that mentally I possibly couldnt handle another baby.

I love my children immensely and have to spread myself thinly now and by having more that would have been harder still.

Plus my partner is alot older than me and is past his baby days and has next to NO patience with the kids anymore.

So maybe we do know when enough is enough!

[Josh]

Hi Mums, I am new here and i am a mum of 9 kids:yelclap: and a lot of people ask me if i am going to have any more and at this stage i dont know i am 37 so time is running out for me, financially it is costing us an absolute fortune and also it is very hard work for my husband and myself, i currently have 6 kids under 7, any way hope i can continue to talk to all of you.

jodie 37
husband 42
Rhiannah 17
Biankah 16
Dane 11
Alisha 6
Azminah 5
Zahid 3
Zhakri 2
Khalid 14mths
Azhar born on 7/3/2007

[MummyCharmzy]

oh wow I envy you! :) I truly wish I could have as many children as we chose too, not be limited as I am from having csects and whatnot.

I'd love to know more about your family, what things you do to keep organised and just manage a large family etc :)

Congrats on your latest arrival too :D

[Josh]

Hi Mummycharmzy, when i was in hospital with my most recent baby ( march), i met several other women who have had 4 or more c/s ,one woman was on her 6th c/s, :eek:now i was always under the assumption that you could only have 3 c/s and thats it ,but obviously not. I would assume that it cant be good for your body to have that many:thumbsdown: , anyway i have had 1 c/s my 7th child had to be born by c/s because i had a low lying placenta but all of my others were born normally, including 2 vbac,so evidently you could have more kids if you wish to. Enjoy.:wave:

[DQ]

Wow you ladies are inspirational!!!!:yes: I take my hat off to you both!

I am pg with #5 and I too worry that after this bubs is born, I will have that "silly old feeling" come over me again. :o I have had to talk DH into #4 and #5 so I guess I have bucklys chance of getting him to agree to anymore.

Besides that though, I suffer from pre-eclampsia in late pregnancy and have done with all of them. It makes it difficult when the doctors threaten to admit you to hospital when you don't "take it easy". Yeah right, with as many kids as we have :rolleyes:

It's not just about me anymore, I have too many others to think about. I can't just keep shipping them off to nans house when I get sick in late pregnancy. Its not fair on them. If only homebirth wasn't so expensive.

Good luck with your health check Mummy Charmzy, you will be fine!!!

Jodie9, looking forward to hearing some of your tales about raising 9 kids - you are VERY brave!!

As for me, I am planning a VBAC this time so :fingerscrossed: I can do it!!!!!!

[PunkyDiva]

DramaQueen...I thought we had tonnes of kids so we could take it easy and watch them slave away:laughing:
My kids do love to mother me when I'm sick though and my DH is just amazing. He adamently refuses the snip so I take that as have as many as you want love:D
I would love for DH to go back to uni again and become the Doctor he wants to be but he worries over little things like money and security bah we have lotsa love and laughter, we've done it before I'm sure we could do it again think it's just he's got used to earning money thing and the evils it brings.

[MummyCharmzy]

Hi Mummycharmzy, when i was in hospital with my most recent baby ( march), i met several other women who have had 4 or more c/s ,one woman was on her 6th c/s, :eek:now i was always under the assumption that you could only have 3 c/s and thats it ,but obviously not. I would assume that it cant be good for your body to have that many:thumbsdown: , anyway i have had 1 c/s my 7th child had to be born by c/s because i had a low lying placenta but all of my others were born normally, including 2 vbac,so evidently you could have more kids if you wish to. Enjoy.:wave:

Hey jodie,
I've looked into it and I have a very thin uterus, have had 3 opinions on the matter and they've all said no way, I'm lucky that I'll get to go back for my 4th but it HAS to be my final or putting myself and bub just in too much risk. I had pre-eclampsia in all my pregnancy, 2 premmies, gestational diabetes in 3rd pregnancy and the 3rd csect was very complicated so things just really work against me. I'm sure once I do have our next bub I'll look into it further but I really think it would take some kind of miracle for any doctor to give me the all clear on having more bubs and I'd want more than just one doing so anyway :) Can always pray though as I'd love more children!


~ Charmaine

[TwoBoysOnly]

Ok all of you mummies that convinced the daddies to have more I want to know HOW?!?!?! I really really really want one more and I just can't convince my other half....I have even now been off the pill for 2 months (a. because it wasn't agreeing with me and b. I thought there is now more chance of a little 'accident' happening). So any tips on convincing?????

[mummyof5]

I was upfront with my DH from the moment we met, told him I wanted a dozen, so if he couldn't hack that idea to go away now. We did end up getting the snip when I was pregnant with our Miss 2, but we are now looking into having ICSI for another one, so who knows how many we'll end up with?
I think you just need to make it clear to him that the kids mean more than owning a house, going on holidays, whatever other things he might think are important to have money for. Worth a try anyway. :fingerscrossed: , hope you can gt him to change his mind.

[FourAngelKisses]

DS3 isn't even a month old and I am feeling like I want another. Someone slap me!!

[MummyCharmzy]

lol I'm like that each time I have my bubbas fourangelkisses!

[FourAngelKisses]

Usually it waits until they turn at least 2, lol.

[MummyCharmzy]

lol really?? mine kicks in almost as soon as I see them lol :D

[FourAngelKisses]

I did that with Jacob, 3hrs old and I wanted another, lol. So I did just that, lmao.

[mummyof5]

3hrs old and I wanted another, lol.

I am one of those too!!!:D

[MummyCharmzy]

lmao yepppp definitely me... isnt it strange how having your own baby can make you clucky for more babies? isnt it usually other pplz babies make u clucky lol

[mummyof5]

All babies make me clucky, even the ones Iwalk past in the street:o .

[JATS]

Other people's babies don't usually make me clucky, and before Tom they never did, but every time Tom looks at me with those big blue eyes I want another! And yes, hours after having him I was ready for another!:thumbsup:

[rollercoastermum]

I'd LOVE more children BUT I know that physically, mentally and financially I/we couldnt do it...

I have done my share for the population and have had 7 gorgeous children - 3 more would be nice but oh well!!

[TracieP]

I too have 6 kids, but DH had a vasectomy when No4 was 1 then when he was about ready to start school we found out we were having our surprise(after we had given away all of the baby gear)who is dearly loved by all, then we thought what the heck why not go for the 6 we talked about having when we were first married.I turned 40 last month & had GD with the last preg. so I think(& DH agrees) that should be it for us. Although yesterday I sorted through No6's baby clothes she has grown out of & had a bit of a tear knowing there won't be any more!

[kymmy]

I am not sure when I feel I will have had enough chilcren. Logistically 3 is too many. But hubby and I agree children is what life is about and we want as many as possible. We certainly feel blessed with each one we have. Even if we were only to have one we would have been happy.
We are planning on 5 so 2 more maybe 3. But I figure if we have 6 a few more wont make much difference.

[blessedmummy]

heheh!! i know that dh and i would love to have 4 children, i think that would be it after that, i did at one stage want 6, but thought maybe 4 is enough! though im always clucky, seeing bubs all the time and that around.:D

[kymmy]

Just as I was thinking I don't get clucky, it seems now my bub is nearing 18mths and my bro had his first bub I am consciously thinking of conceiving the next baby. I think hubby was shocked cos I want a 5 year gap. Maybe 3 years would be okay.

[cackleberry]

If I get past Caitie reaching aged 3 without feeling clucky and wanting another bubby, then i'm pretty sure that we are done. Emotionally, I feel like 4 is enough for us, but I also felt that 3 was enough and here we are. :) I usually start to yearn another bubs when the youngest turns 2....so we shall see then.

[FourAngelKisses]

lol, I think I'll be hard pushed waiting until Troy is 2 before I want to have another. But I HAVE to stop. :gloomy:

[MummyCharmzy]

I can't wait for us to be blessed iwth #5!! hopefully not too far away for us! I'm really not convinced I will be happy to stop but we do plan on fostering and or adopting down the track so my house will hopefully continue to be filled with children so that should help hehe :D

As much as I want to be pregnant right now, I am very much enjoying that I am not and liking that the age gap is getting bigger between Savannah and our last bubba as it makes me look forward to the newborn stage more! ..

and gives me more chance of having isobella toilet trained which is going incredibly well, she wore knickers most of the day, im so proud... yes slightly off topic but I needed to boast hehe :D