TANTRUMS at 10 months

[Tea Lady]

My little bub (10.5 months) has just started throwing screaming fits if i take anything away from her that she wants - tears pouring down face, squeals, the works - which all "miraculously" disappear when she gets the thing back. I know it is normal for babies to cry to communicate, but this is more than that and DH and I have decided we don't want to give in to her if she puts on a turn like that. I know there's no magical cure for this sort of thing but I was wondering if any of you wise mums have any advice for how to deal with this behaviour (especially in embarrassing places like shops). Thanks in advance.

Lucy

[jasminesmum]

Sorry I don't have any advice.I have a 7 1/2 mth old dd and she is doing the same thing. Gee can't wait for the terrible two's. :eek:

[Ana Gram]

Get ready for a very long haul. That is the only advice I have to offer as we were in the same boat. Our DD is almost 2 and the tantrum are still ridiculous. If you past our house, you would think she was being murdered.

You really only have 2 choices. Either give her what she wants to avoid the tantrum especially while out, or buy some heavy duty ear plugs.

Don't listen to anyone who say to use time out or talking or reason or logic. This does not work on a 10 month old.

[mum2ryan]

Ryan started throwing tantrums at 10 months too. He'll be cruising around in his walker and all of a sudden get stuck. Back go his arms, flapping around, bouncing up and down whinging until you get his walker off the carpet or out of the doorway.
Lately though he'll throw toys for no reason, yesterday at our Gymboree class he was holding three plastic balls when a little girl came over to play too. He went nuts, threw the balls and waved his arms around again. He usually stops when he gets his way... I don't want to get into a habit of giving into him either, but it seems to work for now to stop embarrasing displays when we are out in public.

I'm hoping things get better when he gets older, does being an only child at the moment have anything to do with it?

Thanks!!

[drewid]

I think you just need to decide whether the fight is worth it or not. I'm not sure what things you take away from her, but if its not a dangerous thing, I wouldn't bother if it causes a tanty.

My son is 9 1/2mths and I give him a pretty free existence at the moment. He is crawling and into everything, but unless its dangerous, I let him go. Anything dangerous is put away or out of reach, and he is learning what he is allowed to do.

I'm sooooo not ready for the tantrum stage yet - I'm enjoying my peaceful bub!

Fingers crossed he can hold off on the tanties a bit longer!

[madvoice]

My daughter Raleigh has just started throwing tantrums at 8 months. The arms start flailing and she kicks at the floor. I just try to persevere.

[Elfin]

My daughter was the same. The tantrums started at 10 months and really escalated. Recently I cut preservative 282 out of her diet with dramatic results. Has made a huge improvement. Could give that a try.

[sugar n spice]

My little boy is 11 mnths but only chucks a wobbly if something he is playing with is taken off him. He wont cry if you give it back or give him something else. They forget pretty quick.

[Sarie]

Yup PJ is 8.5 months is doing the same!

[wattle]

Interesting easterlily. Do you know off hand what foods contain that preservative?

[Chickadee]

At that age, and all the way up to the terrible 2s, distraction is really all you can do. As Bride83 said, if you give them back something they can have and remove the offending item from view, they usually forget pretty quick. Or scoop them up and go outside to look at the birds, anything to distract really.

I have, however, stood in the shopping mall and waited patiently when my 15 month old (at the time) went limp, threw herself on the floor and literally spat her dummy. A few minutes of people's stares and she was ready to be cajoled and distracted with something else. And actually, few people stared or even seemed to notice.

[Ana Gram]

I hate teh in public tantrums! What I hate more is the tuts and little comments made by people. To which I usually respond with " Here, you deal with it then".

On one occasion, I actually encouraged the tantrum at a restuarant. Expensive restaurant at an expensive hotel and the lady at the next table was huffing and puffing and rolling her eyes. I didn't hear her say anything which is why I didn't say anything but I let DD throw a massive tanty without bothering to do anything about it.

[Elfin]

282 is an anti mould preservative so it is in a lot of breads, all crumpets, english muffins and refriderated pastas. It is really easy to cut out and while it may make no difference for some children, it had a big impact on my daughter. She is so much better now I have cut it out and to be honest I was quite sceptical. Definitely worth a try if nothing else works.

[Sarie]

I honestly think they're just trying to find out how far they can go, they're learning boundaries, its just a case of us keeping them in line ;)

[reAllytee]

They are fun arent they. My boy started approx a month ago & he has just hit 9mths. As someone stated on their post its a case of learning to pick your fights i think but then when they are this little there isnt much chance of helping them understand. Sometimes i just show bubs if he is stuck how he can move to grab back at the toy or help him to move which usually calms him down but if its a temper just to be picked up its a little harder especially if im in the middle of washing up !!!!! But i find its just way easier to try to stop the tantrum before its starts which is hard sometimes but i can usually tell by faces & actions if bubs is getting fed up or frustrated so move him or pick him up before it can start. Otherwise it can be world war 3 he likes to make himself go red in the face & kick. Ive even had cases of holding him & him not being happy with me stopping him from trying to grab at the remote on the lounge & he slaps me on the face !!!!! Which isnt great considering his size. Oh how i look forward to the terrible 2's !!!!!
Take deep breaths ! I find that helps hehe.
But overall their attention is usually taken onto something different if you offer another toy or move their position. They are usually frustrated as they want to do more or communicate & cant do so, so i guess id be frustrated too.

[Tea Lady]

Nearly all packet bread has 282 and some other "bakery" type things. Also be on the lookout for 202 - it's in more things but apparently intolerance to one can also be to the other ( if that makes sense) - it's in LOTS of things eg bottled olives, chocolate drink mix, some sausages, lots of biscuits and things - just check the labels. I can't eat either and it's a bit of a pain, but you get over it.

Cheers everyone.

L

[katesmom]

((hugs)) I feel your pain. My dd started that at about 8 months, too and she's still at it, somewhat at 2.5 years. We've learned to take her out of the store if her tantrums get too bad. Sitting in the car is really boring, so usually, she's pretty well behaved. At almost three, I do not give into the tantrums anymore. When she was younger, distraction worked really well. Now, it's just no and that's it.

My dd has had truely horrible tantrums and she's never really had processed wheat products, because we are on a gluten free diet. Until they are talking really well, I think they throw a lot of tantrums out of frustration, because they can't communicate very well. Have you tried baby sign? I never did it, but I've heard good things about it.

We've been telling our dd for a long time now, when she gets into a situation where she's crying from frustration, we say "You're smart. Figure it out." And 99.9% of the time, she does.

Some children throw more tantrums than others. My dd has been a bad one for tantrums from the start. I tell you, a play pen is a wonderful thing when the tantrums get so bad they are hurting themselves (beating their heads against the wall, throwing themselves on the floor backward, etc). If her tantrums are getting the better of you and you are loosing your cool, put her in her play pen for awhile and take a breather. (((hugs)))

[rynosmum]

I agree with cutting out the Preservative 282 (I didn't know about 202 though !).

Since some ladies on BH recommended cutting out 282, we've seen a dramatic difference. DS went from screaming, banging his head on the floor and walls etc to very basic tantys. :)

[Tea Lady]

Thanks for your replies everyone - looks like it will get worse before it gets better! She chucked another wobbly in the supermarket this morning and the shop lady was saying "what's wrong with her?". Nice one! At least I know I'm not alone - but I'm looking forward to when she is actually able to understand a little bit of logic - I'm trying to convince myself that will make a difference (I can always dream, can't I?).

About the preservatives, I think it's only 282 that has been linked to behaviour problems (not sure of the details, I think it made kids who already have ADHD worse, but it didn't make the kids get the condition or anything). I don't think 202 has been shown to have any behaviour links - I've just heard that people who have an intolerance (ie makes them feel sick, not be badly behaved) to one may have it to the other, as in my case. I wouldn't suggest taking your kids off 202 unless there's a good reason to (says the child nutrition expert - not).



L