Imaginary friends!!!

[Lallas' Mum]

My son seems to have an imaginary friend. On quite a few occassions he has passed toys or food to thin air and said "here you go Thomas". Once he even yelled at "Thomas" to stop and sit down.
The only kid called Thomas he knows is a boy from his daycare who used to bully him (and the rest of his class). After a few weeks of being bullied my son all of a sudden became friends with Thomas - much to my dismay. He learnt a lot of bad habits from him. My son is only in daycare one day a week and I didn't expect him to really form any strong friendships. Thomas is no longer in his class as he has been put in with bigger kids to help combat his bullying.

The imaginary friend thing seems to have come on since then. Is it normal for a two year old to have an imaginary friend - if you can call him imaginary? I am quite sure he is referring to this boy from daycare. Should I be worried? Should I be trying to get to the bottom of this Thomas fellow or should I just let it slide? Has my son been traumatised by this bullying bandit? Ok probably not but I'm no expert when it comes to childhood psycology.

Any input on the matter would be much appreciated

[Melissa1983]

Hi
My daughter had a imaginary friend called freddy. It started when she was 2. I was getting worried as no one could sit next to her because freddy was sitting there. i even had to do food for freddy or she would get up set. The imaginary friend has seem to have gone for now..

It was starting to get funny because when Mikayla did something wrong she blamed in on Freddy, freddy done this, freddy done that. When she hurt her sister freddy done it.

Only if it doesn't come back when she is 19 like drop dead fred the movie, then i will be worried.

[whatwasithinking]

Hi.
Imaginary friends are perfectly normal. Don't stress.
My DD#1 has an imaginary friend named Clare. Clare has been a part of our lives for over 12months now. She isn't constantly there - she comes and goes. Clare gets in trouble too. Clare eats with Hannah at "her" table. Clare pushes Hannah. I have even had to "kiss and cuddle" Clare goodnight.
Hannah does have a real friend named Clare as well but they are definatly two separate friends.

[Lallas' Mum]

Lalla's mum: Are you open to the idea that he might not be imaginary?
O's mom.


I think that is what worries me the most. Is he just re-enacting past events, just play pretending or is there someone/something there with him???

I don't really believe in spirits but I guess I have never ruled out the possiblity. I do know that as a child I liked to relive moments in time and change things to suit me. I still do - only when I daydream now.

[whatwasithinking]

Tracey

As hard as it is - don't anaylse it - let your childrens imagination run wild - they are only children for such a short time.

If it is not scaring him and making him happy let him go. If he is frightened by the imaginary friend then I'm sure he will tell you. If he happily plays then don't stress.

I know it is hard.

[Elfin]

I agree with MissUnderstood, it is very normal for children to have imaginary friends, I just go along with it. Great for their imagination and like a lot of things it is a phase.

[cosmic]

I think sometimes just because we can't see their friend doesn't mean he/she doesn't exist. Little children are still very much in touch with the spirit world and very psychically sensitive so they see lots of goings on that we don't. And the reason we don't?? Because our parents stressed about our imaginary friend so we learn to suppress that connection... :o

[meshan]

I 100% believe in ghosts etc but I don't think that is whats' going on here. Kids love role play, they pretend all the time it is how they'practice' their role in the world.

I think your little boy has picked Thomas to be his friend as he really admires and looks up to him but is probably a little afraid of him so he is role playing his interactions with him and how he would like them to be. We reherse these things in our head ( before a party we might imagen what we might say to whom etc)kids act it out.

My son is constantly driving imaginary large machinery ( bulldozers, fire engines etc) I don't think he is channeling trucks!!!

[cosmic]

Lallas Mum, have you ever watched the TV show "Medium"? It was just interesting that last week's episode (a repeat) was exactly this issue, so it was a coincidence that you posted about it. The show - in case you haven't seen it - is based on the real life events of Alison Dubois, a Medium.

[Pixie]

as a kid I had 3 imaginary friends, they all lived together in the heater and were tiny! I use to take them out watch them and play with them!!

I had a brother and a sister but of course they weren't at my beck and call :p so apparently and I am not saying this is the case in your son, but some children make them up as they are lonely and create friends it's a stage and children grow out of it eventually.

Mine died when my dad turned the heater on one day :eek: I was soooooooooooo upset and claimed he had killed them!!

[Pixie]

don't be jealous :p

[Seekrit]

My brother had an imaginary friend called Gregor. I'm a year younger than him so I can't think of how old Cammy was, but old enough for me to remember this friend

Gregor eventually moved to Tasmania to pick fruit.

It's quite funny as now, sometimes my sister and I set up fake email addresses like gregor@gmail (not a real email) and send Cammy emails :D Then he'll call one of us and go "Was that you" and we act dumb, he's a bit naive so it freaks him out for a bit until we start laughing. :p

I can see your problem tho', with your boy having a friend with the same name as a bully, but I'd let it run it's course, let him be with his thoughts :)

[Pixie]

:rolleyes: I tell ya, you share a story and then you get picked on.... that's it from now on when I have something to share I will refrain from saying it. ;)

[cosmic]

You're right DM. It's unasseptable. Quick, someone start a thread about that. :p

[cosmic]

No we've done spelling!

[Pixie]

yes cosmic I would but I am too scared...
I think we should all be afraid, very afraid

[cosmic]

yep.. the lunatics are taking over the asylum. ;)

[cosmic]

oh what? Wattle's not here tonight so I'm your punching bag? Bring it on, Budgie.

Waaaatttlle..??????? :o

[cosmic]

oh good.. 'cause my poetry days are long gone!

[valleymum]

My daughter is 3 1/2 and goes into daycare 1/2 a day a week. I started to notice that she would come home and role play her day.

There is a little boy called T in her class and T is always getting into trouble for something whenever I am there dropping off Sarah. He is a very mischevious boy and seems to want a lot of attention.

Sarah would come home and line up all her toys and put them to bed and sit next to them and pat them to sleep. She would also be very bossy and tell this child and that child from her group to 'go to sleep' and tell T especially to go 'sit down' and 'stop talking'.

Sarah is still in daycare 1/2 a day a week and still comes home and role plays her day. I think this is all your son is doing, but if it is an imaginary friend there is nothing to worry about. Start to worry if he is 13 and still talking to Thomas!

Good Luck
Valley mum

[Lallas' Mum]

Valley Mum - It sounds like the same situation as my son that's for sure. He mainly tells Thomas so "sit down", "stop" or "don't". So he probably is just taking this role-playing chance to stand up for himself. He also pats his teddies to sleep and sometimes he tries to pat his Dad to sleep! Very funny to watch and rather cute.

I have asked him if he is ok when Thomas appears during play time. He said he is "fine". I ask him if Thomas is scaring him or hurting him and he says"no".
I sometimes ask where Thomas is and he tells me he is in the "other room".
I think he is referring to the other room at daycare as Thomas is now in adifferent room to Alec.

Kevin Budgie - I got your PM and email. Very interesting (and a little Freaky). Much valued inut though - thank you.

I think I will just sit back and watch. I am not going to encourage it by inviting Thomas to join in on things but I will certainly not discourage the interaction. I will just let it be and just make sure Alec is okay when he is yelling at Thomas.

While reading your stories I remembered my older sister had a "friend" called Peter. I will have to ask her if she remembers him.
Once again thanks for your advice and stories. I was just a little concerned as I thought he was too young for imaginary friends - I guess not.

[cosmic]

Lalla's mum, sounds like you've got it under control. I think not dismissing Thomas is a good idea and as you say, as long as Alec is fine and not worried about him, it's not doing any harm.

Sorry we hijacked your thread there for a bit.. :rolleyes: