View Full Version : Have Impossible Ex: Need Advice
Mum2Monster
11-03-2007, 04:26 PM
I am looking for someone who is going through a messy child care battle or even someone who can offer me some advice.
I thought it would be easier than this...I feel like the entire government system is againist me!
Basically my ex is ****head (insert whichever 4 letter word you can think of here, they all fit)
He is one of these guys who thinks everyone loves him and is quite the charmer when he wants to be. Add to this the fact that he is violent, but got a $750,000 payout for compo and he can practically buy his way out of anything.
My son and I finally left him about 18mths ago after him cheating on me and getting a DVO againist him. At the time I went straight to get a solicitor because he had taken my son and I had no rights to get him back. I spent about $7000 on it and eventually compromised for something I wasnt really happy with because I was tired of fighting and losing so much money.
Since then I have lodged another custody case ont he basis of him taking him again. The cops couldnt do anything because it was in the contract (Half of the holidays - even tho he has only seen him once in 8mths & had said he wasnt taking him) I couldnt contact him and I had no idea where he lives (in another city is all I know) I got a call from his ex gf saying she was worried about how my ex was being (hitting her in front of my son) Still cops can do nothing. Got her to ring child welfare and they basically told me they could do nothing either (they rang him and he said DS was fine)
You would think that this would give me a damn good case, and this is what my solititor said, but the interim orders I got sucked! I have already spent $9000 and they are talking a 2dy trail and this & that and I cant afford it! But I know he can which is what frustrates me.
He doesnt have a license, has had more gfs then I have ever seen, has been chrges with breaking his DVO 12 times with me (altho still not in jail ???) I rarely speak to him but when I hear his voice if he rings DS I just lose it. I cant get what he did to me out of my head.
Please help me, I am at a loss.........:banghead: :crying:
Thanx for listening
princessarra
12-03-2007, 09:40 AM
Im very confused here......... you never said who had custody off him and what the interim orders were. If you think the interim custody orders suck (which you never said what they are) now just wait to you get to trial !!!
Unfortuntley there are no provisions for those that can't afford a solicitor and the other can. There should be to make it fair. If you really don't want to spend the money, and i strongly advise against that. Then you are going to have to repesent yourself which is not easy at the best of times.
Billy
12-03-2007, 09:45 AM
:( I'm sorry honey I have no advice, I just wanted to give you some :hugs: and let me know if there is anything I can do to help ok? :yes:
Mum2Monster
12-03-2007, 10:30 PM
Well I have custody, but X can have him once a fortnight and half the holidays.
I just think that if i give up now (like I did last time) I might end up regreting it again and have to go through it all over again.
The last time I did represent myself for a little while, but then I got weak.........
Mum2Monster
12-03-2007, 10:31 PM
Thanks for the support Billy :)
I haven't been through any of that, but what a horrible thing to have to go through for you and your son. Does your X have a job, does he have a house, if he doesn't have a licence, do you know if he drives with your son in the car?? Cause i would not be allowing that at all and if i knew about it, i'd call the cops. Is he wanting full-time custody, cause i severely doubt he'd get it. The legal system is such a crock, i'm so sorry you have to go through it!
OJandMe
12-03-2007, 10:50 PM
My Mum went through this with us. She went to Legal Aid. I don't know if they're still around.. but you should check it out. She didn't have money, but Dad did, so yeah, Legal Aid I think. I wouldn't think a court would let a child stay in an abusive situation (witnessing abuse)... The legal system makes me :barf:
HUGS to you! :hugs:
Mum2Monster
12-03-2007, 10:50 PM
Yeah he has a job. He a qualified fitter at the mines and has a brand new V8. Yes he drives with my son in the car and I have told the cops about it, they just say that they have to catch him in the act (basically to stop wasting their time) Our drop off/pick up point is at the front of the police station, so how hard could it be??
He doesnt own a house, but rents with what I am lead to belive a very questionable character!
I think he knows he wont get full custody, but I am more or less fighting the fact that he has him for more than 2 nights in a row. He just does not have the patience or the attention span to deal with him anymore than this.
It is againist my better judgement that I am willing to compromise for anything after the sh!t that he has pulled in the past.
Thank you for your thoughts! :hugs:
He certainly doesn't sound like the best of characters! Can't believe he has no licence and drives a new V8, what an idiot!! Surely he will get caught sometime, specially if he drives out to the mines from Mackay, i thought there were police there a fair bit. Also if he works in the mines i doubt he'd wanna spend time with his son while he is on his days off, i think some guys just wanna do it cause they can, not cause they really care about their children. That's probably not always the case, but generally speaking that's all i hear.
Yeah he has a job. He a qualified fitter at the mines and has a brand new V8. Yes he drives with my son in the car and I have told the cops about it, they just say that they have to catch him in the act (basically to stop wasting their time) Our drop off/pick up point is at the front of the police station, so how hard could it be??
He doesnt own a house, but rents with what I am lead to belive a very questionable character!
I think he knows he wont get full custody, but I am more or less fighting the fact that he has him for more than 2 nights in a row. He just does not have the patience or the attention span to deal with him anymore than this.
It is againist my better judgement that I am willing to compromise for anything after the sh!t that he has pulled in the past.
Thank you for your thoughts! :hugs:
Also obviously it is ILLEGAL for him to drive with your son in the car, if you have proof he does this, make sure you tell the courts. You don't want your son's safety jeaopardised in any way! If he has a new car and no licence, he has no insurance either. Sounds like he needs a good smack in the head for being so stupid!
polony
12-03-2007, 10:59 PM
What a horrible situation! I really don't know what advice to offer, except that Legal Aid is available for either legal advice or representation. They are very good so that option is there.
Legal Aid - 1300 650 579
Legal Advice & Assistance Line - 1300 363 667
:hugs: I hope that you can sort this out and the sooner the better. He sounds like a real piece of work~!
Mum2Monster
12-03-2007, 11:12 PM
Legal Aid..........Hmmm! lol. They sound alot better than they actually are! (Sorry in advance for anyone offended by this) But thanks for that research!
I tried to go through them the first time but it was going to take sooo long and I kept seeing different people and I was so worried. Once I started with a private solititor tho, Legal Aid wouldnt touch me :no:
And yeah, he is just doing it because he can. He thinks that this makes him in some way still in control of my life and so will continue to do it.
He also doesnt live here anymore so I am thankful for that.
princessarra
13-03-2007, 03:58 PM
ummmm one weekend a fortnight and half school holidays is considered standard. I'm sorry but i don't think he is going to get any less than that unless there is some real evidence against him
Mum2Monster
13-03-2007, 10:20 PM
DId you not read my first post?? lol. There is real eveidence againist him. He has been violent to me in front of countless people including my son. 2 different people (none are people I know) have rang child welfare about concerns they have for my son when he is with him. That to me is evidence.
Billy
14-03-2007, 07:59 AM
:hugs: Hun I think you do have 'real' evidence against him :hugs:
He sounds like a complete @rse :mad:
princessarra
14-03-2007, 03:12 PM
Yes but what i'm saying is it has to be permissable evidence and something that holds weight as far as a judge is concerned. What you may consider real evidence and what is permissab le are 2 different things.
Then what you need to get these people to do is make signed and sworn statements stating exactly what they saw. Then you have to petition the court to order him to under go a psych report. You also need to go the your department of community welfare office and access your sons file under freedom of infomation. It she have data of all the complaints made with him attached to them. You may also like to look at subpenoaing your ex's file to see what department of community welfare have on him.
What you need to understand though is that family court is give and take...... whilst you might not like the orders you got last time they are considered standard and usual. I'm sorry i do think your going to face an uphill battle having them changed.
Mum2Monster
14-03-2007, 04:36 PM
Everything that you have said I have already done.
Legal Aid..........Hmmm! lol. They sound alot better than they actually are! (Sorry in advance for anyone offended by this) But thanks for that research!
I tried to go through them the first time but it was going to take sooo long and I kept seeing different people and I was so worried. Once I started with a private solititor tho, Legal Aid wouldnt touch me :no:
And yeah, he is just doing it because he can. He thinks that this makes him in some way still in control of my life and so will continue to do it.
He also doesnt live in Mackay anymore so I am thankful for that.
I agree with you about Legal Aid I was entitled and they were prepared to take my case on but I didn't find them any good and went to a private solicitor also.
What a horrible situation you are in. Stay strong. :hugs:
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