Went to Joint Counseling with the Ex

[Chanelc]

As part of our consent order we have to go to joint counseling. I have to say it was amazing to hear how he perceived things - me asking for help he thought I was being controlling!! The counselor thankfully said he totally under appreciated what it is like for first time mum's.
Anyway I have to say it feels good to vett out my anger in a controlled environment as I feel I am being heard.
we have agreed to do it for 6 weeks as regardless of us been separated we need to resolve our issues so we can focus on being great parents apart.
It was hard but I do think it was a good step as I really want to ensure we can be amicable for Chanel's sake and let go of the past.
Has anyone else done joint counseling even though you are separated?

[catalicious]

I have never done this but I applaud you and your ex for doing it... TGhere are so many people both on here and in real life that need to do this (not because they are bad parents just because its not good to have so much anger and stuff towards someone who will be around and is the father of your children)

Of course it would be hard on you, i cant believe he thought you where being controlling!!! Its hard to be a mum of any number of kids ecspecially when you do it on your own...

Hugs What a great sep you have taken to benefit your child in the future..

[oleander]

A great thing your doing for your daughter:thumbsup:

I asked my ex many times to go to counselling for the sake of our daughter. He said no.

[Issey]

I have separated from DH and we are going to couselling. We have both had a session on our own and next week we have one together. He never wanted to go to couselling 6 months before when I wanted to but now the light has shone :idea: ....it may be too late though

I think it is a good idea no matter what the outcome so you can either rebuild or have closure and a good relationship with your child together even if you aren't together anymore.

The session on my own I felt was very helpful but is was expensive!!!

[luckie_me]

I thought i was the only one, I ask my DF if he has time or if he doesnt mind doing something for me or for jackson, AND he thinks that is controlling also!!! Whats with men???

[~Emmylou~]

I haven't had to do this but I also wanted to say good on you for having the strength and maturity to put your daughter first :thumbsup:
There are far too many parents around these days that don't have anywhere near that level of maturity and you should be proud! I hope it all works out for you all.

[Jessie Wood]

A great thing your doing for your daughter
:yes: Agreed! Its great that like you said even though you two are separated that you two need to resolve your issues. And this will hopefully do it for your both!! Goodluck darl :thumbsup:

[munchkin05]

what a great thing your doing

at least you can both get out where your both coming from in a controlled environment

hope it goes well

i think this may be something that me and the ex may benifit from

but ill get all the other $hit out the way first lol

[daddaddad]

That is excellent. My ex and I never attended sessions but can I offer a word from the wise (male...hehe), I would be very careful no to bring up points raised in the sessions during your general conversations/arguements for a while.

ChanelC, You got a male to sit in a room and talk about his feelings - unheard of. You don't want him to think that you are gathering ammunition for the next arguement.

Let the dust settle and then give it to him... kidding