Scared of having no. 2

[janellejori]

Hi evryone
Well i am scared about having a second baby. Our first bub was an absolute angel. She woke once a night from birth and then went straight back to sleep, from 3 weeks she was sleeping 12 hours a night, Now at 15 months she does 13-14 hours a night. She doesn't winge, she had no problems teething she had never been sick until last week, no problems feeding or anything. I worry that if i have a 'normal' baby i will not be able to cope. I see my friends who are still not getitng proper sleep, frineds who have very sooky babies and i worry that i wont cope. Anyone else feel or felt like this? Any advice appreciated

[mum2bubba]

I know exacly how you feel, Hayley was (and still is most of the time) a pretty easy baby, she too was sleeping really well from day one, had no problems teething and all that. I am worried that this next baby will be the complete opposite and because Hayley is still so young (she'll be 2 and a half when bubba #2 arrives) I won't be able to cope, I mean I could be wrong and maybe (hopefully) this new addition will be even easier than Hayley I guess the only thing to do is try not to stress too much. Grant might be able to take time off work so it'd be even harder but I have family and friends who I know will help (not saying that Grant won't help out after work or whatever).

Sorry I don't have any advice just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Hopefully our babies will be happy and healthy anyway.

:hugs: to you.

[V8]

Hi evryone
Well i am scared about having a second baby. Our first bub was an absolute angel. She woke once a night from birth and then went straight back to sleep, from 3 weeks she was sleeping 12 hours a night, Now at 15 months she does 13-14 hours a night. She doesn't winge, she had no problems teething she had never been sick until last week, no problems feeding or anything. I worry that if i have a 'normal' baby i will not be able to cope. I see my friends who are still not getitng proper sleep, frineds who have very sooky babies and i worry that i wont cope. Anyone else feel or felt like this? Any advice appreciated

I can understand your apprehension, but you are definately blessed with your bubba by the sounds of it! My DS is 16 months and only started sleeping through the night at 8 months because i gave in and let him sleep in our bed, he's still in our bed now :banghead: He's had some pretty bad teething moments, but mostly he's just a handful i think, very demanding and extremely clingy.

I am scared of having number 2 for different reasons, because i have seen how much hard work one can be, i'm worried about coping with a difficult toddler and a newborn baby!

[~Emmylou~]

Yep I felt like that :yes:

My first baby was the same as yours - never cried, slept through the night (12hrs) at 8 weeks and every night from there out, easy teether, just an all-round easy peasy baby.
When we got pregnant again we were terrified and were convinced that lightening doesn't strike twice :laughing:
DS is not AS easy as DD was but we've still been pretty lucky with him.
So far he's been the same as DD except for the sleeping through - that only came in the last week and he's now 5 months old. He's probably a bit more demanding of our attention than DD was but not extreme.
Anyway, you might get lucky as well.. And if you don't you'll still cope. The fact that you've already had one baby, even if she was easy, gives you alot of experience to draw on if the second one is a bit more "challenging". It's easier the second time no matter what because you're more confident and you know what you're doing (most of the time :D )

[Eeyore]

Hi, I can completely identify with your worries. DH and I have talked about having #2 and I just figure that its better to get it over and done with now, and I can sleep properley in 10years time :laughing: !

Everyone tells me that all babies are different and there is no telling what your next one will be like. I guess that when the new bub is here, you'll just do your best same as when the first one arrived.

[mumbub2]

I agree that due to your increased confidence and experience, you will find a second bub easier regardless...even if he/she not as easy in reality as your 1st.....you will be more relaxed anyway, so more able to cope with whatever due to your exp.

I too had a very easy first bub....no feeding or sleeping probs ever.....slept through from 6 weeks old...and never woke in the night since....she has now just turned 2. She never gave me any grief. When I was pregnant with bub 2 - who is now 3.5 months, I worried the whole time about what he would be like......I couldnt be that lucky twice.....but so far so good......he is not sleeping through yet - well he does some nights but not others, but even then he only wakes once and goes straight back to sleep after a feed. He is so so easy going, rarely cries, just lays there happily cooing and gurgling until he wants to be fed. I know it could all change, and his horns may emerge later....but the early days at least have been manageable ! I thought I was relaxed with bub1 , but compared to how I am now, I realise I wasnt THAT relaxed...its just so much easier 2nd time around anyway, you trust your instincts a lot more in the knowledge that your 1st one made it through :).

Plus with bub 1 they get all your focus, and therefore you notice so much more....and have the time to worry/wonder/question/stress....whereas when you are chasing around a 2 year old and dealing with a newborn.....its so different....the newbie doesnt get a look in half the time as of course they cant move/demand/tantrum/get into things/run away etc like the older one can....sad but true !

Even though DD was a perfect bub, she certainly is hard work now given her age, so I am even more thankful that DS is also pretty easy going....as I dont know how I would be if i had the terrible two-er plus a full on wee - one !! I think if you had to get a hard work bub at all, it would be better to be first time, so that at least you only have them to deal with.

Who knows, all situations are possible, and you hear all sorts of cases, but what can you do ? Worrying wont help at all, and you may be lucky and get an 'easy' baby next too. PLus, give yourself a little credit......if bub 1 was so easy - perhaps it is partly due to your wonderful parenting and establishing of routines etc that helped her along.....so chances are you will do the same with bub 2 and the same thing will happen ! I know that sometimes this isnt the case and some babies are just not going to play the game regardless of what you do....but Im sure we can help matters along to some extent with how we manage the situation.

Good luck, just take it as it comes - you will amaze yourself at how you 'just cope' :)

[mumma_jessy]

I was worried too, unfortunately i had reason to be :laughing:

DS was the 'perfect ' baby, like your first. He was SO easy!

Then i had DD, she was a lot harder. She cried for the first 6 months straight, had bad relux, didn't sleep through, was basically a HUGE shock!

But I got through it, and then at 6 months she turned a corner, and was a much easier little person to deal with.

You never know what your baby is going to be like, but no matter what they are like you deal with it, you keep going because you love them, and there is always a light at the end of the tunnel.

I would do it all again now, obvouisly cause i'm having #3. But as hard as it was to start with i now have two beautiful children who i love with all my heart and they love each other just as much too!

[SamanthaJane]

I know what you mean.... Charlotte is so easy to handle! She sleeps so much and is so settled and happy! But i just assume that means i can produce settled babies :laughing: I know thats totally irrational, but i like to believe it :p

My labour was a nightmare tho, so maybe Charlotte's behaviour makes up for it?

I know my sister had a great labour... and her baby boy is a terror :eek: :laughing:

[Verdi]

All 3 of my Boys were Angels as Babies ( well no 3 is still a baby)

The older 2 are little ratbags now:yes:(but adorable ones)

So you could very well have another perfect bub!

[NicNac72]

I am going through the same thing at the moment about having number 3.

Lucky for us we have been blessed with two really easy babies.

DH is more keen on # 3 than I am, but we are just going to see how things go for a little bit before we decide.

He is a really great hubby and father, and probably does more around the house than I do! lol What an angel!

If you do decide on number two, you will be fine!

Nic