Is rude to not invite guest's partners?

[SassyMummy]

When I was younger, my friend, Katie, had an older boyfriend (she was about 16, he was about 22 or something like that).

Anyway, he was invited to a wedding, and she took it as a given that she'd be on the guestlist too. So, when she rocked up at the reception, she was shocked and angered that she was not on "the list" and therefore not allowed to enter.

She went on and on about it, how she was his girlfriend and how she SHOULD be on there... blah blah. I kind of rolled my eyes and though, "Yeah, but you're a little schoolgirl and he's got adult friends..." Mean, I know, but it's what I thought.

Then I was thinking about my birthday dinner which is on Friday. Obviously not the same as a wedding... but still. I've invited 2 people who have partners, who've I've also invited. I don't necessarily like either one of them enough to care if they come or not, but I did it because I know my Mother/Friend would be offended if I didn't. So I just did it.

I THEN started thinking about what will happen when I get married. I'd prefer to NOT invite people that I don't even know/care about and have to PAY for them to eat... but is that rude? I figure my friend's would probably get pretty angry if I DIDN'T invite their partners, but isn't it also rude of them to expect me to pay for their partner to be there just because THEY want their partner to be there?

It's a bit tricky I guess... and I know I WOULD invite their partners... but I also know that I wouldn't WANT to.. (I'd just do it to prevent any problems).

So what do you say - is it rude to not invite partners of your guests?

[rynosmum]

I believe so.

If someone send me an invitation but not my hubby, I wouldn't go.

Then again, if I didn't have a 'permanent' partner (eg: was essentially single and dating different people) or just had one who was on again/off again, I wouldn't expect them to be invited.

[Ashleigh<3]

I think it depends, if the people getting married knew that their friend was in a serious relationship/married, I think it's polite to invite them both.

Maybe they didn't know about her.

[minime]

It is a hard one...I'm in 2 minds.

I would def say if married or long term relationship you have to invite the partner.

I was hesitant to invite friends who have a diff partner every couple of weeks but didnt know what to do. We ended up saying yes bring them along and yes there were some people I didnt like and didnt want to be there but its just the right thing to do.

I would never go someone if they didnt invite us as a couple.

[jess_live_die]

i think if they are married it would be rude but not if they are just dating ect

[Niki]

i think it depends on the persons age and there relationship, when we had our wedding my dh's family thought we should invite all his cousins partners, but all of them are under 17 and have only been with their partners for a few weeks so we said no, but if they had been together for a long time we would have invited them

[bootiful]

The rule in our family is

Married couple = must invite both
Serious couple = must invite both
Dating = invite both (depending on event)
Single (non serious partner) = invite only

Mostly in our family we dont look at the monetary side of things, and no we arent rich, we just think it is polite to always give the invited person an opporunity to bring a guest.

Often they just bring a mate or end up coming alone. But I feel you must give them the decision. For the extra bit of money you spend on that person it can save a lot of fighting and headaches, esp for a wedding.

:wave:

[mumofcaleb]

I think if the couple are in a serious relationship or married then they should both be invited. Not just if they are just dating and you haven't met or have only met once or twice.

[sueliz]

Because we have a big family there was a general 'rule' when it came to weddings that partners were only invited if the couple were engaged or married, (or the equivelent of - so in a defacto relationship).
We followed this same trend for our friends as well - because we both have huge families it was a good thing we had this 'rule' as we still had 153 people and only about 35 of that were friends!

[Areca]

Well we are sure of one of DF's work mates relationship status ( he has a girl that goes to all the work functions but he has never actually said that she is his girlfriend) so on his invitation it said his name + partner. I didn't want to put friend, cause I didn't want him to bring one of his mates but felt it was rude to not invite this girl is she is his girlfriend and everyone else's partner was invited.
Anybody that has been bought home to meet the parents should be invited IMO. I think it's rude to invite some partners and not others based on how long they have been together. I have been with DF since I was 15 and I would've been offended if he wasn't invited to a friend's/family's wedding because they thought we were just silly school kids. We were in a serious relationship!
If you need to cut numbers then make the rule like sueliz has, otherwise invite them!

[WeloveHarriet]

Our rule for our wedding was if you were in a serious relationship - ie been together for years /or living together AND we had met them a fair few times then the partners were invited. DH's two cousins had partners whom they had been with for a couple of years but we had never met them so they weren't invited. My cousins had partners that they had been with for the same amount of times and we had met them a lot of times over that period - they were invited. At the end of the day it was our wedding and everyone had to abide by those rules or choose not to come (which one of DH's cousins came and the other didn't).

[Angelmist♥]

So what do you say - is it rude to not invite partners of your guests?

IMO definitely rude!

[*Chels*]

We invited alot of couples to our wedding-simply coz we are all friends.
There were a few people who are single so we just invited them.Their invite just had their name on it-no "and partner".I wouldnt want them just bringing along anybody.The exception is DFs aunty-dont know her boyfriend but if they are bothering to fly from Geelong then Im happy to have them both at wedding.
But yeah,if I was invited somewhere without DF,I would think its rude and wouldnt show.

[OM]

I think it is rude to not invite partners.;)

[SassyMummy]

Hmmmmm... okay.

So what if you've never met one of the partners (or hardly know them)? Is it fair for the bride and groom to pay for them to have seat when you don't even know them?

Or what about if you don't like them? Should you invite them anyway?

Don't worry - I'm not planning a wedding or anything, I'm just curious more than anything.

[Tulp]

It is easier in Singapore. Only married partners got invited. It's understood. Mr and Mrs unless a couple was unmarried and we knew both parties personally.

We specifically said on the invited "_____ of seat/s has/have been reserved for you. We did this for the dinner. For the tea reception, we only had the names of our guests and their spouses.Guess it's a little more different here. We of course had a couple of guests who flew in for the wedding (and told us before hand their partners were coming) so both were invited.

[OM]

So what if you've never met one of the partners (or hardly know them)? Is it fair for the bride and groom to pay for them to have seat when you don't even know them?

We had at least 5 'partners' at my wedding who I had never met or only met very very briefly. As I said before I think it is rude not to invite them ;)

[Niki]

we had some partners at our wedding that we had hardly met, but they had been together for ages so it didnt bother me

but i wasnt going to pay $100 + for partners of my 16yr old cousins who had only been togetehr for a week or so

[stompy]

Looks like I might be the only one here, but I really don't think that it is rude. I work in quite a large workplace, and don't know the partners of many of my work friends. I thought that it would be more insulting to invite only the partners that I knew, so it was decided that there would be no partners of my work mates.

Everyone seemed fine with that, or they never said anything to my face about it. Who knows what was said behind my back though!:laughing:

[sueliz]

We had at least 5 'partners' at my wedding who I had never met or only met very very briefly. As I said before I think it is rude not to invite them ;)

Do you know if these were people who had been in long term relationships??

Not having at go at you here or anything, but I sometimes get a bit frustrated when people just expect so much from a wedding when we have no idea what thier reasoning is, or how much it is costing them, or how may people have been invited.

We would have loved to have invited everone's partners but it was a simple matter of we just couldn't afford to. Just as we would have loved to invited more friends, but again, we just could not afford to. Getting our wedding guest list down to 15o was a mammoth effort as it was.

Of course I think it is a different matter though if you know it is a long term relationship/defacto/fiancee/married couple, but sometimes a line unfortunately needs to be drawn somewhere. People might get upset and offended, but it's not about them really.

[OM]

Do you know if these were people who had been in long term relationships??


They had all been together for a couple of months. So not really long term but then again not really a fling either iykwim;)

[MonkeyMum05]

I think it is manners to invite partners, whether you have met them or not.
Your friend would probably enjoy themselves more if their partner came along... and general couples like to do things together.
I would be offened if someone invited me somewhere and not my partner.

[*Chels*]

Yeah,especially if the guests dont really know other people and they are all lumped together at a table without their partners there.That would be horrible.

[sueliz]

They had all been together for a couple of months. So not really long term but then again not really a fling either iykwim;)


Heh - I call my ex-boyfriend a 'fling' and we were together for nearly a year! LOL. He def wasn't invited to any weddings I went to during that time and I totally understood why.

But I do know what you mean. Some friends of ours, including one of my bridesmaids, had started seeing people a couple of months before we got married, but we explained that we wouldn't be able to invite their new partners to our wedding and everyone understood. (5 yeasr on my bridesmaid and that guy are still together!)
I think if you explain to someone who you know has a partner why you are not inviting that partner, it is perhaps a little 'nicer' then just not inviting them.

[Bron]

We invited partners to our wedding who we'd never met, I think about 4 of our guests were people we didn't know, but we invited them because it is polite to invite partners and we thought it would be unfair on our friends to spend the evening alone.

A few years ago when DH and I were not yet married or living together but had been together for about 6 years, he was invited to a wedding. I knew the couple, not very well admittedly, he was a uni friend of my DH's, but I wasn't invited. DH rang to check that the invitation was correct and they confirmed that no partners were invited. He went. I didn't mind him going at all, but I really minded them not inviting me. When he came home he said that one of their uni friends had their wife there, but no one else had partners. Clearly they'd decided that a married couple would be invited but a long term serious couple didn't count. I was not impressed, and nor was DH.

Inviting partners is the right thing to do.

[mum2bubba]

It depends on how serious their relationship was and all that. Grant has gotten invited to places (parties etc) and on the invite it says 'To Grant and guest' which I personally think is rude considering we've been together for quite a while and in a serious relationship, for my wedding I want a small amount of people and seeing as though we haven't really set a date (I'm hoping for Oct or Feb next year) we don't know who or if anyone will be dating other ppl or what.

[sueliz]

Just out of curiousity - and not being rude here, but out of the people who think it is rude, how many of you have planned a wedding??
And to those who have - did you have big numbers?

I know that question sounds condescending but I can't think of a better way to word it!!

The reason I ask is that we were lucky enough to have our parents pay for most of our wedding. My parents paid for the reception food and hire and my in laws paid for the alcohol. It was important to them, (and to us), that family was at the wedding. So they gave me a list of family, (as I didn't know all of DH's family as most of them lived about 12 hours away), and by the time I got the lists from our parents, there were 120 guests already on the list. This had actually originally been our cut off number! So this was before we had invited any of our friends.

Don't get me wrong, we wanted family there and our parents asked some of their close friends who are like family to us as well, and we were happy to do this as we both wanted them there and as our parents were fotting the bill, we wanted them to be able to ask some of their friends. It sounds harsh, but we had to make 'cuts' somehow but we tried to make sure we explained this to all our friends. Some were upset of course, but most of them understood - and we told them we would understand if they didn't want to come, (in a nice way!)

I guess I am just trying to say, it all depends on your reasons behind not invitng partners in my opnion before I could say if it was rude or not.

(That said - a 6 year long term relationship - we counted that among our 'engaged/married/living together rule')

[Becteria]

For our wedding I used two rules - i didnt invite anyone we didnt have up to date details of, and I didnt invite partners i hadnt met.
Obviously they were not that important in our lives or our friends/family. The people who wanted to bring their partners who werent invtied called me to ask and of course i said no worries.

[ButterflyMama]

I think if they're in a long-term relationship whether it be dating or engaged or married, it's rude not to invite them.

[FourAngelKisses]

If someone send me an invitation but not my hubby, I wouldn't go.

Me either.

[damien's mum]

If someone send me an invitation but not my hubby, I wouldn't go.



Same here!

[FourAngelKisses]

Just out of curiousity - and not being rude here, but out of the people who think it is rude, how many of you have planned a wedding??
And to those who have - did you have big numbers?

I planned a wedding, but it was a registry office one. No way was I having anyone else paying for my wedding (I actually think that is rude too) and I didn't want a big one. So we just invited our parents and siblings......9 people all up.

[sueliz]

I planned a wedding, but it was a registry office one. No way was I having anyone else paying for my wedding (I actually think that is rude too) and I didn't want a big one. So we just invited our parents and siblings......9 people all up.

I sometimes wish we had done it this way.

We didn't expect our parents to pay, but they wanted to. My Mum cried when I told her I was engaged and then said she had accounts set aside that she had been putting savings into for many years for my brother and I for if we got married as she didn't want us having to worry about costs. It would have broken her heart if I had said no! Same with my in-laws

We never, ever would have invited only one half of a married/long term couple though! I can totally see why that would upset people and be seen as rude

[sugar n spice]

yes its rude if you dont invite their partner if you know they have one

[Tubbychook]

Interesting topic. There were some parteners there that i didnt know DH's workmates (who i didnt know) and their parteners, only married or long term though. There was also a situation with DH's birth mother who we invited only because she was bringing DH's youngest brother to be paige boy. She had an affair with a guy and she was still with him by the time we married a few months later but we didnt put his name on her invite (or partener) and when she rang to question it we told her we didnt want him there she was very annoyed that he wasnt invited (she still came unfortunatly) but we justified that if her ex partener who we really liked wasnt invited as she didnt want him there then there was no way we wanted the other guy there. It really annoyed me as i would have rather had her ex bring their son (dh little bro) then have her there as she looked like a Jerry Sprinnger reject as one of our friends (who didnt know she was dh's birth mother) and then complained that she had to pay for her own spirts when dh's stepmum was getting them without paying mind you dh's stepmum and dad paid the bar tab. we told her to grow up and leave if she wanted.

[Mum&bubs]

Yeah I think it's pretty rude. I wouldn't go to something if DF wasn't invited. Because we are in a serious relationship with children I believe we are like one- and every one I'm close with knows this.

I wouldn't want to go anywhere without DF anyways. So yep I believe it's rude.

[poshBecks]

I was once invited to a wedding and my HUSBAND wasn't invited :eek: needless to say. I didn't go.

[whatwasithinking]

Depends on who the partner is I think.

I don't get on with my step mum so I only invited my dad to my wedding. He turned up and she cracked the poos but she eventually got over it.

J doesn't get on with his step father so he only invited his mother. She didn't turn up - but then again she would have had we paid for her ticket from QLD to Melb.

I didn't invite my sister's partner because it was a small restuarant reception.

[SassyMummy]

Hmmmm...I was thinking that I'd just invite any partners to my wedding (when that happens...one day... I hope ...) just to prevent arguements and fights... but this thread has actually given me a better idea.

I intend to pay for my own wedding... if either of our parents want to help, they can help with minor costs... not the costs of the reception, that's for sure. My parents aren't wealthy, so I'm not going to accept major contributions from them.

So, I've decided that, anyone who I don't know (and by know, I mean I can remember something about them, other than the fact that they are with a certain person), will not be on my list. If I haven't met the person, I don't think it's rude for me NOT to be offering them a free meal...

Kids will be different though - I'll invite children, because leaving a partner behind poses less difficulty for a person than leaving a kid behind could.

I WILL consider whether the guest knows anyone else at the wedding... and if they won't, then I WILL invite their partner... but if they do know plenty of people, and I don't know their partner... well, the partner won't be invited. If they want to pay for their own meal, then by all means, they can come...lol. But I'm not giving a free meal to some person who I don't even know.

I doubt I'll have too many problems though - I don't know many people as it is...

[Becteria]

For me Stacey it wasnt about the free meal - it was about baring my soul in front of strangers. Its one of the most intensely personal moments of your life and for me i was against having strangers there to make me nervous. i wanted to be surrounded by love from people we share our everyday lives with.

Maybe when your planning gets underway, you can use that reasoning?> it sounds nicer than noone is offended and end result is you have who you want there.

Re: parents friends and input. My mum invited one friend, my dad invited 0 and my stepfathers family wasnt invited. My FIL wasnt invited, my step FIL didnt invite any of his family and my MIL invited maybe 5 people (the wedding was on her property!!) We asked them all if there was anyone special they wanted to invite and we were very lucky to have them understand it was our day, my mum got the ball rolling saying I'm not getting married, its your day... is there anyone yoooooooou want to invite. everyone else followed. I can understand parents wanting to show you off on your big day but thats what photos are for!

Do what you and your DF want to do...

[Duchessa]

Gawd, it's amazing how easy it is to step on toes! I would have eloped if it was that complex :laughing:

[Angelmist♥]

Just out of curiousity - and not being rude here, but out of the people who think it is rude, how many of you have planned a wedding??
And to those who have - did you have big numbers?


Yep I planned our wedding 6.5yrs ago, we had around 100 people there and I think 4 people I had never met before.

We paid for the whole thing ourselves (well apart from the beer).

[Areca]

Well technically my DF is planning our wedding but we did the invitation list together. At first we were going to have a sit down meal and we cut people off our list.....this was couples, not just the partner's that we didn't know. We are having a party after the ceremony, instead of a reception, so everyone that was on our original list is invited....it's 70 something people. We're having finger food which brought the cost down a lot.
Stacey maybe this is an easier way to do it without stepping on toes......write down who you want to come, then decide how many people you can afford, and if people have to be cut off the list then cut off those that you don't even know well enough to know their partners! I hardly know DF's workmates and would prefer it if they weren't there for that reason alone but he really wanted them there but they were the first to get cut off the list when we were reducing numbers because they aren't the 'important' people (ie. family and close friends). Well just another idea anyway!

[MonkeyMum05]

Just out of curiousity - and not being rude here, but out of the people who think it is rude, how many of you have planned a wedding??
And to those who have - did you have big numbers?

We had a casual beach wedding which we paid for ourselves.

[zafyrezmummy]

When I was pregnant with my DD friends of ours had a wedding, admittenly yea, they were friends moreso of my DP, not so much close to me, but I'd known them for years. Also, me and my DP ave been together for 6 years and were having a baby, anyway, all the months leading up to the wedding, the groom to be would talk excitedly about the wedding, where it was going to be etc, to the both of us whenever he came over.
When the invite turned up in the mail, it only had my DP's name on it, no 'and partner', just his name.
I was very upset (prob moreso becos i was very pregnant) and offended alot, i'd thought these were friends of ours etc etc.
Well DP rang them, with all intent to not go, tell them it was rude etc as he was quite mad over it, and they explained that it was just about the money side of things, that it wasnt meant to offend me and they didnt think i'd mind cos i was pregnant and that there were some other guests who's partners werent invited, not just me, which seemed to be good enough for my DP so he still went...plus i told him to go, as he is good friends with the bloke.

Ihave to admit tho, that I'm still cut about it. Since then, we have spent more time with this couple, they love our daughter for eg., she is their honoury niece, they buy her pressies, we spent new years with them, and recently when they've just found out they're pregnant we were one of the first people they came to see to tell.
so the overall friendship has survived, i try not to be petty or self absorbed, but well, i was really cut, and am still harbouring some hurt over it, which i'm hoping to resolve soon because i dont want it to get in the way of our friendships...

oh, sorry i've been rambling:ecomcity: :ecomcity: , so, to answer the OP, yes I do think it is very rude, but I also understand that there are reasons for it sometimes and everyone cant keep everyone else happy all the time, and at the end of the day, it was their day.
and when we get married, i'll still invite them both.

[Verdi]

I am going to be truthful here but yes i would find it offensive. If my friend or relative was going out with someone and it was serious they would automatically be invited. ( I had 300 people at my wedding and there were lots of people about to get engaged so i had quite a few that came due to being a girfriend or boyfriend)
Hope it helps:)

[sueliz]

Yep I planned our wedding 6.5yrs ago, we had around 100 people there and I think 4 people I had never met before.

We paid for the whole thing ourselves (well apart from the beer).

I actually had quite a few people I had never met before - like my DH's grandparents! (They lived about 12 hours away so we had never had the opportunity to meet) And some of his aunts and uncles who also lived out west.

I must admit if we had been more financially involved, our wedding would have been very different and probably a lot less emotionally stressful! And a lot more casual.

While I will always be grateful that our parents insisted on paying off the bat, many lessons could be learnt from my wedding planning experiences as to why people who pay for their wedding themselves are the smart ones!! :D

It surprises me though that people have had experiences where they are so very obviously in a serious relationship and yet have not been invited along with their partner.

I never realised though that weddings have the potential to be such political mindfields until I planned my own with my mother and my MIL often telling me how things should be done - and then what others seemingly expected from us as well. It was insane!

I had been to a few weddings where my 'boyfriend' was not invited and I wasn't upset or offended - but once it became obvious we were in for the long haul, then yes I would have been.

[sexy_minx]

umm i dont know, im in this myself i dont like a few partners to our friends and didnt wanna really invite them i wouldnt have, but DP kinda made me, but i have a rule who ever doesnt come to my engagment party wont be invited to the wedding its to more the ppl who dont have plans but just dont wanna come so ive said to dp who ever doesnt come on the day thats cool but thay wont be geting invited to the wedding i might sound like a ***** but the way i see it is if thay cant be happy 4 us on our day then there not welcome at the wedding as thay didnt care when thay 1st found out ( yes some ppl are working and what not even have friends flying back to melb 3 days befor the party who wasnt due back for a few more weeks to be with us on the day more just to the ppl who are too lazy or dont like me lol)

[SassyMummy]

Thanks everyone!

I just want to clarify that I'm NOT planning a wedding (well, I am, but I've been doing that since I was like, 13... I'm not ENGAGED and so I'm not sure when this wedding will ever happen...lol...I just like thinking about stuff...).

Maiky's Mum, you make a good point about strangers. I'm not good at meeting people - I get shy, and I don't really enjoy it (unless I'm in the right frame of mind to do it, and even then it's still scary). I guess that's a good reason not to have strangers at my wedding - I don't need people that don't understand me or DP coming there and judging us (I know that sounds so cynical, but if I went to something like a wedding for people I didn't know, I'm sure I'd find some of it odd... being that I don't "get" the couple or their humour/personality/etc).

[Angelmist♥]

I never realised though that weddings have the potential to be such political mindfields until I planned my own with my mother and my MIL often telling me how things should be done - and then what others seemingly expected from us as well. It was insane!


I have to admit our wedding was a very casual one because we wanted it to be.
MIL had full intentions of paying for a big huge wedding and had her nose firmly out of joint when she realised I wasn't budging:laughing:.

[kristi001]

:banghead: ITS YOUR WEDDING! :banghead:


A weddingis your Day! Its also an expensive day!

I Have many friends That i am not the Closest with their Partners..

I am Not going to MIss OUt on Inviting Close friends or family just so i dont offend someone because their partner wasnt invited!!

THey dont Come then fine! You know Who your true friends are thats for Sure!

[JuniorMinime]

I am having the same problem. My good friend (whom I have known for about 21yrs) has a boyfriend that she has just bought a house with and I really don't want it invite him.

He's an alcoholic and I haven't ever had a proper conversation with him and my fiancee doesn't know him from a bar a soap caue every function we have had he is never there!!!

What do I do too???

[JATS]

I believe it is EXTREEMLY rude not to invite partners of guests who are in long term relationships.

Yes your day = your way but your wedding says alot about who YOU are, and not inviting partners/kids IMHO says you're a rude person. If you can live with that good luck to you, but I guarantee it will leave a lasting impression on your guests, whereas having them there will cause very few long term problems!

BTW yes I am married, and we invited all partners, even a few we really didn't like much and others we barely knew. Didn't make our day any less enjoyable having them there, and a few have since become our friends!

[MissSparkle]

We actually sent out invites for our engagement party and my DF's cousin has a bf (dating a few months ) who we'd never heard of or met but he just rocked up with her. We were a little taken back but just accepted it. For our wedding we'll be on a stricter budget as meals will be per head and I don't think casual bf's or gf's should be invited and payed for by us.

If I know the bf or gf however I would tend to invite them.

[pookiesossige]

So what if you've never met one of the partners (or hardly know them)? Is it fair for the bride and groom to pay for them to have seat when you don't even know them?

Or what about if you don't like them? Should you invite them anyway?


I think that if you care enough about the friend you are inviting, then you should allow them to have their partner with them for the event.

I wouldn't have got to know my uncle's partner at all if I had struck her off the list just because I didn't know her yet!

Our wedding had 40 guests. We didn't invite casual bf's or give room for friends to bring a mate etc. But we DID invite partners (married or not). IMO it is rude not too, and I know that our close friends appreciated sharing the experience of our wedding with their loved ones :yes:

[M~T~J~M]

Yeah, I sorta think it's rude not to invite partners....
I was invited to a wedding when DH was my DF, but he wasn't invited!! We were a little shocked, but it was their decision, and their budget, so who are we to say it's rude?? Lol!

[TeamAwesome]

wow some of you had huge receptions!
I had only 50 (we managed to up the number to squeeze in 5 more) as we wanted an intimate not have everyone we'd ever met kind of affair.

We didn't invite any cousins as he hardly knew them and we discussed just before the wedding why even intvite his uncles and aunts who had barely been apart of his life on DH's side and I only know 2 cousins on my side so they were invited (I have a much smaller side then DH does)

We had some family friends. My mother who knew absolutely nothing about our wedding(long story) and invited an old school friend of mine to stay for the reception (my mum and dad did not contribute) so I was a bit peeved about that. we didnt want a huge OTT affair as it is not us so we had to make sacrifices of partners etc. a good friend of DH's had only been going out with her now DH for a few months and we explained but she was happy and seeing as we never met him he didn't have any issues with not coming.

The place we had our reception literally did not have the room for any more then what we had (one of the reasons we chose it actually!)

We didn't see the point int going into debt for a HUGe wedding when our little intimate one was lovely and everyone had a great time! also on the whole putting all the singles together we had a few singles so we put them with people we knew they'd most probably get along well with not just cos they were single and chucked them all together (aka as the rejects table at some weddings) We even got complimented for putting them on good tables as they all had a blast.

[NZMama]

I think that it would be rude to invite your friend but not their partner. Defining the term partner as meaning that they are committed to each other and arent just dating.

I think the appropriate response to 'they would come regardless if they were real friends' is 'if they valued me and my friendship then they would realise my partner is a big important part of me and invite them as well'

[hellsbells]

At our wedding we had guests from our work places where we didn't invite their partner regardless of whether they were married or serious relationship. We figured if they wanted to celebrate with us they'd come, and they all did, without any comment. If we didn't do that, we would've had 1/2 the people we wanted.

In relation to family, if they weren't in a serious relationship, we only put one name on the invite, no partner or friend. Partly so the single girls didn't feel any pressure, but we didn't want anyone just making up numbers, our families are too large to be wasting spaces.

If people want to celebrate they'll come regardless. It's your day, you make the rules. My male cousin only invited the male cousins of the family, which I was cool with, it was their day.

[Mischief]

I personally think its rude not to invite partners. We had alot of people at our reception too, but even the single people were invited to bring a guest if they wanted too.

If I was invited to a wedding or something that my hubby and son were not invited too, I wouldnt go either.

I personally think that if someone cares enough to invite you to their wedding then they should care enough to let you bring your other half.

If you dont have alot of money, I would be more inclined to ask people to please pay for their own meals instead of presents. :) Just my opinion. :)

[EskimoMumma]

I will never have to worry about this because, with DP's extremely large family, when we do get married and hold the reception, everyone pays for themselves.

Oh and not everyone gets along with their friends partners.

[Mischief]

I think the appropriate response to 'they would come regardless if they were real friends' is 'if they valued me and my friendship then they would realise my partner is a big important part of me and invite them as well'

Well put! :yelclap:

[JATS]

I think the appropriate response to 'they would come regardless if they were real friends' is 'if they valued me and my friendship then they would realise my partner is a big important part of me and invite them as well'

:yelclap:

Thinking your guests should choose you over their partner (if they are in a long term relationship) is arrogant at best.

[Baby dreams]

I think the guests partner should be invited if the relationship seems serious and providing they are together when the invitations go out which is usually about 8 weeks before the wedding.

It also depends on how many people you are inviting to the wedding. When i got married a few months ago we invited partners because we had a limit of 100 people and we had room for a few partners. I would prob think differently if i had a guestlist of 200 or 300 as some people do.

[jamiebrod]

When i was married a couple of years back, i invited my dh friend and his new partner, just being polite. Anyhow a couple of weeks later we had a few people over to watch the video and show photos and both of them came along - this girl whom i didn't really know as it was a new relationship she told me that she didn't like the wedding, was bored and the only thing she liked was my dress and she only said that becasue she felt as though she had too. I was so p***ed off, i had paid for her, i didn't have to invite her. Anyway i don't like her, and even though they are now a serious couple i wouldn't invite her now if i was getting married. I think that it is your wedding and you should only invite the people you want to be there. Unless they were married.

[mumslilspunks]

My opinion is that if you know them or have meet them before invite them and i think only invite who you want to share your special day with!! The thing that gets up my nose is ive been married to dh for 3yrs now and i still get invited to his friends weddings as "partner"( and half these pepole came to our wedding!):banghead:
Its your day love and it should be your choice (oh and your partner).:D