Tearing..

[Seekrit]

I'm terrified of this.

We three kids (ie: my sister, brother and I) were just wee small babies but my mum tore a lot with each of us.

I'm worried that it's a heireditary (wow, spelling's GREAT on a monday morning) thing. I told my MIL this last night and her MIL told me that it only used to happen because babies were delivered fast, which they're not as much anymore.
Is that the case?

I'm just a worrisome one.

[tickle]

From what I've read, tearing can be avioded or reduced by the assistance of a really good middy. I'm no expert though, Janet or Felicity would be the best to answer your question.
Good luck
E :)

[melfunction]

I tore, but I was told no one would have been able to stop me as K was born in 2 hours... I didn't feel it either..

[Imogensmum]

I think that it is true about the quick labour and tearing! I had a 4.5hr labour and i tore!

It really wasn't that bad- i didn't feel it and it was only slightly sore for the few days after birth( i had 3rd degree tear.)

Best of luck with it- i got told to try perineal massage- massaging the skin of the perineum! (don't know how you'd do this with a big bump but maybe worth a try- i really don't know if it will help!

[alissa-mareesmum]

Hi,

I also had this fear with alissa, she was tiny and the midwife used a warm compress on my perenium (sp) to help ease my body with the stretching. I pushed for an hour and a half most of this was alissa stretching me (she would slightly slide back up until my body was prepared to stretch enough for her to crown). So if your body may need some time to do this don't be worried. Because of my body taking its time i did not tear only had a little bit of grazing. My middy was great the whole time she kept reassuring me that my body was doing a great job and she even told me that alissa was just making room for the next baby LOL

So in planning for no.2 i have purchased the pink kit it is a book, DVD and CD. It is fantastic it is designed so that the woman and her partner or support person can work through it together. It goes through different possitions for labouring and birthing to help the woman to remain open and encourage the baby down. It also has a section for preparing your vagina and perenium to open and stretch during the birth to help prevent tearing. It is easy to follow and understand i wish i had it to prepare myself for alissa's birth, i think every first timer should have it to help eleviate the worry of the unknown of labour and birth, gives you confidence and trust in your body to do what it is designed to do, give birth :D

[JanetF]

Do you know what position your mum birthed in? Lying on your back creates tearing because your peri can't stretch as it should. Being upright, pushing only when your body can't NOT push, no coached pushing are all great ways to avoid tearing. I know many women who've birthed babies over 10 and 11lbs with not even a graze because they've followed those guidelines. Other women can tear pushing out a 6lber. I think genetics plays a part, as it does in stretchmarks, but like I said above, there are many ways to minimise it.
PM me if you want any more :)
This is a huge resource.
http://gentlebirth.org/Midwife/perinealProtection.html

[alicesmum]

my DD was 8 1/2 punds with 37cm head (big!) and using active birth techniques (moving around, birthing in an upright position etc) i needed no stitches, whereas my mother had an episiotemy and forceps when she had me and I was only 7pds 10. And as alissa-mareesmum said, taking your time when pushing also helps alot.

An aside, can JanetF or someone pls tell me what "grazing" means?? I don't know if I had this or not :confused: . i had a tiny tear that didn't need stitching and lots of swelling and bruising but what is grazing????????????????????????

[alissa-mareesmum]

Alicesmum my midwife said i had some grazing, i didn't ask her what it was i was to happy that i didn't need stitches or anything. I think it is when you graze the inside of your vagina, it doesn't need stitches or anything but you have some light damage to the tissue, i think of it like when you graze your arm or leg. I know that you need to wait until it has healed itself other wise sex can be very painful. By six weeks it was all good.

Hope that helped, thats my thinking of grazing of course i could be wrong.

[Seekrit]

Wow, thank you muchly, you've set my mind at ease.. mostly :)

Janet - I have no idea what position mum was in, probably on her back?

I'll have to buy some of those books and stuff :)
Thanks :D

[jaydensmum]

They say that tearing can be reduced by perineal massage during pg. It also really has to do with how flexible your skin is. I never massaged during labour and never tore, not even a little. I pushed out a 9lb 3oz baby, i was sure that i was going to tear but i didnt. I wouldnt worry about it too much. If you are worried maybe try the massage and talk to your midwive what she suggests.

jaydensmum

[jaydensmum]

Do you know what position your mum birthed in? Lying on your back creates tearing because your peri can't stretch as it should.

Also with this quote, i was on my back the whole time during the pushing stage and didnt tear. So it really depends on the person, whether its going to happen to you or not.

jaydensmum

[JanetF]

I love to meet an exception! Congratulations! :D Lithotomy or stirrups is the worst of all because your peri is stretched unnaturally in that position before a baby even crowns. Plus you're pushing uphill, against gravity and your tailbone can't slide out of the way as it should. Birth is really meant to happen upright or leaning, or hands and knees or basically ANYTHING BUT lying down on your back - side lying is different and can be wonderful.

[melfunction]

Lithotomy or stirrups is the worst of all because your peri is stretched unnaturally in that position before a baby even crowns.Side lying is different and can be wonderful.


Please excuse my ignorance Janet, but whats a lithotomy :confused:

I gave birth on my side and got a grade 3 tear :eek:

[jaydensmum]

I gave birth on my back with my legs bent and up in the air! Like i said before i really believe that every person is different and their bodies deal with the pressure in different ways. You can still tear standing, squatting, on all fours basically every position. Also it depends on if your baby is coming through the right way. Some babies come through with their shoulders the wrong way and tear on the way out. If that happened it wouldnt matter what position you're in you would tear!

jaydensmum

[Hukuna Matata]

I wonder if fear also plays a part. Fear of tearing may make the situation worse, but tightening and tensing as the baby is crowning. Read some books about what the sensation might feel like so that you can start to prepare yourself and accept what is going to happen. For me, it was a very anal sensensation. My poor midwife had to hear about how my bum was going to turn itself inside out! (sorry if TMI!) But someone told me it could feel like that so I was scared.

Also, my friend told me about her 3rd degree tear. She said she didn't even know that it had happened until after baby was born and said it was no big deal. It was a positive story to hear and cause me not to worry that if it happened to me, it was going to be OK :)

[cobysmummy]

definately not a speed thing... i tore after a 26 hour labour :eek:

[WeThree]

An aside, can JanetF or someone pls tell me what "grazing" means?? I don't know if I had this or not :confused: . i had a tiny tear that didn't need stitching and lots of swelling and bruising but what is grazing????????????????????????

grazing is pretty much just that, a graze inside the vagina, kind of like a skin tear, you know the ones elderly ppl can get on their arms and legs? i had terrible grazing with coops, it was absolute agony to pee for 2 wks! (sorry if tmi lol) with tilly i only had very minimal grazing and no discomfort afterwards at all :)

[Peaceangels]

Seekrit, if you do the perineal massage (as mentioned by Jaydensmum) you can reduce the chances of tearing greatly.

Use a bit of olive oil and massage the perineal area with a bit of force (it doesn't hurt, is just a bit uncomfortable) while in the shower.

I did this for both pregnancies (from about 32 weeks onwards) and I had no tearing!!

[W & T's sleepy mummy]

yup I agree cobysmum. I was in labour for 34 hrs (1st) and had 49 stitches (owww) - tore right up to the *uhum* sphincter! However - had ventuse vaccuum and 1st time doctor - who forgot to do the episiotomy! Tore with the second after 19 hrs - but only 14 stitches. I was on my side then. Good to know tho - I'm completely back to normal now!:) :)

[LittleBoysRock]

It is important to remember everybody is different but I had a 9lb 4oz baby and tore badly (3rd degree) internally and externally.

Sometimes I think it is something you can't avoid. 5 months on I still have some pain but it is getting better all the time. I try to look on the bright side. My baby is worth every little problem during pregnancy and birth....I wouldn't trade him in!! :)

Goodluck with everything, I am sure you will be fine. Merry Christmas!

[SweetSerenity]

I too tore VERY badly...3rd degree, internally and externally and i had a very long labour! So stitches galore! The phrase the doctor used when he was stitching me up was that i was "Shredded" :eek: Did not make me feel good when i heard that one!

Unfortunately it's kind of like stretch marks, you either get them or dont! There are things to reduce the risk, but everyones different so you will or you wont unfortunately!!!

Love Nat

PS: If you do get them Salt water baths are the best at healing them!!! I found that it REALLY helped for me!

[reAllytee]

Yep definately not a fast thing i tore internally as well as externally 3rd degree & my labour was also very long but then of course a fast labour im sure can cause just as much damage depending on the woman. I believe i tore not mainly cause bubs was big but he had a big head 38cm & also because he got stuck so they used the ventouse to get him out & were desperate to as his heart rate was dropping so they didnt really care what damage they did to me to get him out. When it comes down to it neither do i because im glad i have a happy healthy baby ! Ive healed with some dramas due to me being a little too over the top in getting back into things but overall it was worth it & id do it all over again. Yeah i dont want to tear etc again but if it does happen again i really dont care again i would just want my happy healthy bubs in my arms !
My mum like jaydensmum was on her back with all 3 of us girls due to her disability & didnt tear with any of us & she even had a full epidural that wasnt even turned off when they wanted her to push !!! She did it all on her own :D

[giggles]

I was terrified as well Seekrit......and admittedly I only had a first degree tear (about 10 stitches)but it just happened so quickly that I can't even remember it. The worst part really is the healing and a soft cushion will work wonders for you.

Good luck!

[Goosie22]

Tearing happens in the 2nd stage of Labour I doubt anyone was in 2nd stage for over 2hrs max (especially if they delivered in a Hospital) Long Labours with drug assistance(Induction/epidural/forceps/vaccume) or with a private Ob increase your risk of Tearing or most likely episi.
Being in an upright position does cut the risks of perineal tearing(as Janet f suggested) as does the speed at which you push your baby out. Studies that I have read suggest that not being directed to push and following your own bodies urge will help reduce your risk. If you are under any kind of drug however your urge may very well be deminished and as such you might need someone to help tell you when to push and when to stop. This is the reason why 'Natural Drug Free Labours' are more attractive. The position of the Baby while in Labour can play a role in your tearing or not. You can ask you midwife about Optimal Fetal Positoning and He/She will point you in the right direction.

[AM]

Goosie, I was in second stage for 12 hours, I kid you not!!

Unfortunately i ended up with a third degree tear which extended into my rectum, however it healed so easily, i must have been stitched really well.

And I was standing for the birth, dunno what happened really, perhaps i was just SO keen to get ds out in the end i just overdid the whole pushing thing!

[Goosie22]

? you were pushing for 12 hrs.:confused: or were you fully dilated? if you were pushing for 12 hours I would get my medical records and get a lawer, That is some serious malpractice.

[AM]

Yes, 24 hour labour, 12 hour second stage.
It was a case of my pushing urge dying out completely, and contractions becoming really puny, but it was all my choice, I was at home with my midwife, and she was constantly monitoring baby, who was fine the whole way through, it was simply when i was exhausted that i gave in and we opted to transfer, and shot some syntocin into me and out the little bugger came in an hour!( I love him dearly ;) )
So I was well looked after, no complaints whatsoever, it just all took a bloody long time!!

[Goosie22]

I understand,
prolonged 2nd stage causing tearing ( that is what I was talking about) It is usually qualified by the statement active pushing or Fully dilated no urge in that case it is most of the time joined onto transition( the calm before the storm). And since you were not actively pushing with no urge. Sounds like your midwife did a fantastic job in a difficult situation. (your lucky you chose a home birth even just for your labour cause we both know what would have happened) better luck next time getting the whole way your way:)

[reAllytee]

I pushed for what ended up to be 3hrs total one of the doctors abused my midwives LOL & i didnt have diminished feeling either due to my epi & my body was also doing its own bearing down etc. Guess my main prob was due to them using the ventouse cause bubs was stuck & that i was still laying down but as i said before my mum did it this way with no dramas !

Guess as long as i stay standing next time there is hope but mind you they still talk about my pelvis so im gonna have to really seek more expert advice !

[AM]

Goosie, i just had a talk with dh, to see if my recollections of the pushing were correct, and yes, i was actively pushing with no urge for probably 90% of that time, as we had good progress to begin with, then ds's head was on show with each contraction for hours! So my midwife was laying her hand on my belly, and telling me when I was having a contraction, and to push, as we wanted him out.
And as his heart rate showed no distress whatsoever, we just kept it up until i simply could not.

[BecH]

I have to say I tore quite badly with a 30 hour labour, but my DD thought she should come out with her hand on her head, so one push delivered her completely. I honestly don't think tearing is that bad if you can get by without stitches. All the best, it is a pretty amazing experience to meet your bubba.

[jaydensmum]

I feel very sorry for you girls that have had tears, it sounds so nasty. I was lucky that i didnt tear with Jayden. I had a 30 hour labour as well with 4 hours of pushing. I seriously thought i would tear, as it took so long and felt like i did. I was one of the lucky ones. Im really worried about the next one! :( Im worried that i had such a good run with him that i wont be so lucky next time.

jaydensmum

[peekaboo]

Here's a good site that talks about preventing tearing.
http://www.glorialemay.com/gloria_lemays_courses.htm#intact_perineum

[reAllytee]

jaydensmum - Id say considering you did so well first time round your bound to do just as well this time ! But then yeah it hurt & stuff but i didnt really care IYKWIM i had bubs so thats all that mattered. Plus i didnt find it as bad as i thought especially when they said it was bad & took so long to stitch up etc. You just take it easy which is hard but rather than trying to run upstairs i just resigned myself that it would take 15mins to get there which i think was better than overdoing it which i did later mind you hehehe. I think its always good to make something out to be horrific then find you can cope & it seems to make it easier well it does for me :)
Anyways im sure everyone who is expecting will do fine !
Try not to stress as i think its best to always look at it in that whatever happens happens ! :)

[Seekrit]

Try not to stress as i think its best to always look at it in that whatever happens happens ! :)
hehe Thank you for that. :) It's only of those things that I just needed to hear and nod and go.. "of course. what else can I do?"