Advice for 9 weeks old bub - Pls help

[happydays]

Hi,

Firstly, a bit of background...

My son is 9 weeks old and has in the past been held to sleep because nothing else seems to work. We don't use a dummy for personal reasons (except in overtired emergencies!). I'm trying to hold myself together because I'm really starting to lose it ( I yelled at my poor son for crying):crying: , so any advice that will help per below would be much appreciated.

1. My son has been waking up for the last 1 1/2 weeks screaming in the morning around 7.00am. He never use to do this before.This morning I realised it was probably due to wind as I held him up and tried to burp him. Did anyone elses bub wake up screaming pain in the morning? Should I try burping him more in the middle of the night. Sometimes he's fallen asleep and he doesn't burp.

2. My son use to sleep some nice 3 hrs (maybe 4) blocks at night, usually waking for a feed and then going back to sleep. Again in the last week, he's now waking every 2-2 1/2hrs now. Out of habit, I get him up and feed him. Should I be resettling him instead? Because it's been over 2 hrs he will always still take the breast, sometimes eats a fair bit and sometimes not much.

3. My bub is terrible at settling. He always seems to wake up after 10-15mins after we think he's asleep. Is this something to do with their sleep cycle? If I'm lucky, I'm able to re-settle either by a bit of rocking or patting, otherwise he'll cry and I'll have to start all over again. It soesn't happen when he's fallen asleep after a feed, only his day naps.

4. Have got the Tizzie Hall and Liz Pantley book. Tizzie Hall method of settling won't work because my sons seems to always cry an emotional (full on tears) cry. There is no protest cry!! Have been doing some things in the Liz Pantley book already. Tried white noise, co-sleeping not an option as my husband rolls around in bed with arms/legs everywhere. Has anyone got any other settling methods without resorting to a dummy???

Sorry it's long winded. Just need help asap.

Thanking all bubhubbers in advance.:sleeping:

[EnglishClaire]

Hi Happydays

I hope you are getting some sleep. I am a big Tizzie Hall fan I have been to two of her workshops and read her forums day and night so I think I might be able to give you a suggestion. If your baby is crying an emotional cry you need to work out why. Tizzie says at this age the most common reason for an emotional cry is hunger.

Tizzie talked about this at her workshops a lot. She explained there are a few common reasons for hunger. One is feeding your bay too often so they are getting lots of foremilk and not enough hind milk. From what I have read and heard her say a baby of 9 weeks needs to bed fed four hourly in the day and on demand at night. The other thing she explains is how your breasts need to be on a routine so they are milked at the same time everyday. This way your breast start to produce lots of good creamy more like hind milk for every feed and the lactose and foremilk vanishes. Also this helps to make reflux disappear as often it is caused by too much foremilk. If you know anything about Dairy farming you will know that farmer work under the same principles and this is why they milk on a routine.

To answer your questions.
1. My son has been waking up for the last 1 1/2 weeks screaming in the morning around 7.00am. He never use to do this before.This morning I realised it was probably due to wind as I held him up and tried to burp him. Did anyone elses bub wake up screaming pain in the morning? Should I try burping him more in the middle of the night. Sometimes he's fallen asleep and he doesn't burp. I think this could be reflux or colic from too frequent feeding. Tizzie talked about this in her workshops. How often are you feeding him in the day and have you got him on Tizzie’s routine for his age?

2. My son use to sleep some nice 3 hrs (maybe 4) blocks at night, usually waking for a feed and then going back to sleep. Again in the last week, he's now waking every 2-2 1/2hrs now. Out of habit, I get him up and feed him. Should I be resettling him instead? Because it's been over 2 hrs he will always still take the breast, sometimes eats a fair bit and sometimes not much. I don’t think this is habit from what I can work out he is too young for habits like this also he won’t be sleeping in night time sleep cycles until he is at least 8KG. I think it is hunger or coldness waking him. Maybe you are feeding him too often in the day so he is getting all watery milk in the day and is staving.

3. My bub is terrible at settling. He always seems to wake up after 10-15mins after we think he's asleep. Is this something to do with their sleep cycle? If I'm lucky, I'm able to re-settle either by a bit of rocking or patting, otherwise he'll cry and I'll have to start all over again. It doesn’t happen when he's fallen asleep after a feed, only his day naps. Again I would think this is hunger.
Good luck and please let me kjnow how you get on. :fingerscrossed:

[annb]

y'know I relaly have to second what Claire says....I think i fyou can persevere with a routine for another couple of weeks I think the erratic waking will subside and your baby will be much more settled. I had similar issues with my first DS, once I started to feed him less ffrequently, at similar times each day making sure he wasnt snack feeding during the day I did notice a huge difference and he then became such an easy baby.
I started Tizzies routines with DS2 pretty much soon as I got him home from hospital and he is the perfect baby, sleeps well, feeds well and never seems to have any colic or wind pain. I also give him Infacol at his 10pm feed which is a bottle of expressed breastmilk, I find this way I know he has had enough to eat as I can see exactly how much has gone in!! He only wakes once in the night for another feed.

[the_queen]

He's 9 weeks old. Far too young for structured routine. Wrap him for comfort, feed him to sleep, co-sleep so you can attend to him as soon as he wakes (also, co-sleeping will give you more rest) (and if Dad rolls around a lot - boot him out to the spare room :D) Every night take a nice deep warm bath with bubby. Try bathing him in a bucket, the upright-ness will encourage his body to slip into the foetal position and can help move gas/wind. It's also relaxing for him.

At that age, if he's awake - offer the breast. If he's tired - feed him to sleep. If he's crying - try lots of calming ways to settle him (as I suggested above) and when he settles a little, stick him straight on the boob.

Learn to feed laying down so that you both get more rest.

Tizzie Hall doesn't have any of her own children, so perhaps her method is more suited to Nannies and babysitters, who don't have an emotional and mystical connection to the baby. I dunno about you - but when my kids were newborns, when they cried, I didn't just hear it; I felt it. It's instinct. Don't get too caught up in what you "should" be doing. Don't read books by "baby trainers". Just relax, feed and cuddle, feed and cuddle. He won't be this little for very long. :hugs:

[EnglishClaire]

Hi annb nice to meet you. I have used the routines from day one too.

Happydays how are you getting on?

[reAllytee]

Bubs may also have silent reflux ( no vomitting ) so maybe putting something under bubs mattress so it isnt flat.
Also try to keep bubs as upright as possible for at least 15mins after a feed. This will also help with wind.

Bubs at this age cant form habits that doesnt happen for some time yet so holding bubs to help him fall asleep isnt a bad thing. Have you tried a sling or a Hug A Bub for through the day this way you can do what you need while bubs is close & can fall asleep helping reflux & wind.

Maybe also seeing if you can spend a day in bed together letting bubs settle beside you & feeding as he needs it. Gives you both as much rest as possible.

But i would really look into whether he is suffering a reflux problem first then you can maybe look at something that may be in your diet thats affecting him.

Good luck these are the hard days thats for sure :hugs:

[mumofone]

Hi

I have been doing the Tizzie Hall routines this time. Used a similiar routine last time too. Now my 3.5 goes to bed almost herself. Both my girls have been good sleeper. I reckon a good bedtime routine eg Bath massage, bottle, story and then bed, helps kids calm down from the excitement of the day.
hearing your child crying is the most awful sound inthe world I think, I have never been able to let my girls cry them self to sleep as I think you should go to sleep happy and relaxed. (that goes for Mums too !!)

You could adapt the routines from Tizzie to suit your self. If you can't stand the crying, maybe but her in the cot and sit on a chair or stool beside the cot, with a hand on him, have you tried putting the radio on talkback quietly, (my dad suggested that for us) we use classical music, a sleep CD playing in her room just loud enough that she an't hear any noise going on outside her room. we find it is a good sleep association tool.


Good luck and take care

[EnglishClaire]

No baby should cry nor needs to cry. My baby is on a tizzie routine and has never cried. I would never let her cry. My advice would be if your baby is crying at sleep times there ia a problem such as hunger don't let your baby cry.

Did anyone watch Tizzie on the today show I missed it but I just watched it now.

[Refresh]

He's 9 weeks old. Far too young for structured routine. Wrap him for comfort, feed him to sleep, co-sleep so you can attend to him as soon as he wakes (also, co-sleeping will give you more rest) (and if Dad rolls around a lot - boot him out to the spare room ) Every night take a nice deep warm bath with bubby. Try bathing him in a bucket, the upright-ness will encourage his body to slip into the foetal position and can help move gas/wind. It's also relaxing for him.

At that age, if he's awake - offer the breast. If he's tired - feed him to sleep. If he's crying - try lots of calming ways to settle him (as I suggested above) and when he settles a little, stick him straight on the boob.

Learn to feed laying down so that you both get more rest.

Tizzie Hall doesn't have any of her own children, so perhaps her method is more suited to Nannies and babysitters, who don't have an emotional and mystical connection to the baby. I dunno about you - but when my kids were newborns, when they cried, I didn't just hear it; I felt it. It's instinct. Don't get too caught up in what you "should" be doing. Don't read books by "baby trainers". Just relax, feed and cuddle, feed and cuddle. He won't be this little for very long.
__________________

Thanks Queenie....saved me the trouble lol:thumbsup:

I get so over |experts| telling parents wgat their bubs are supposed to be doing.....follow your instincts:yes: Actually tonight I heard a great saying....."If you and your family were alone on a desert island, you wouldnt think you were doing anything wrong"

The only other I wanted to add is that my third bub was really unsettled/screaming after feeds for 4 weeks...we took her to the chiropractor 4 times and she is a changed girl:)

[harvey123]

Our dd used to wake up screaming. can you hear him making any noise before this. i used to wait until dd started to cry, with her it was hunger and crying is the last of the hunger cues. now we use a baby monitor up fairly loud so i hear the early grunts before she get too upset.

When you put him down is he sleeping for about 40mins? our dd does this, apparently one deep sleep cycle is about this long and they should be able to resettle after this. try stroking them rather than holding them or otherwise they will expect it everytime.

Have you tried a growbag or similar products? our dd was wrapped for a while and the moved on to a grobag. only now at 4 mths will she sleep without anything.

For settling, i never used a dummy because i figured it would fall out and then you have those woes. i tried reading to her, just stroking her all while shes in her cot that way i didn't wake her up when i put her down.

i have to back up the routine followers. we co-sleeped and went to our dd when ever she even grizzled for the first few weeks and eventual i just couldn't physically do it any more.

a bloke my husband works with told him we should stop it or it gets out of control. he suggested a routine of feed, play and sleep over a three hour cycle, with 1 hr all up of feed and play. i was really unhappy at first about doing this but my husband wanted to try. the first few times we put dd down she would grizzle and i'd sit outside and cry. but within a day or so she was able to self settle and was waking at night normally at midnight and 3 ish and napping well during the day. it completely changed my life actually being able to get sleep.

after a few weeks i felt a bit guilty about it all and went back to reacting on demand and it all went pear shaped. i spoke to a midwife about it and she said bubs figure out from about 6wks that their crying equates to you responding. in saying all this, you must be sure your bub isn't crying for a particular reason. it really does depend on you and your bub. i couldn't keep up the demand of co-sleeping and rocking her to sleep, so a routine suited us. it meant i had a little bit of time each day for me, selfish yes but it really helped me from not losing it. good luck, pm me if you think any of this might help. it was only what worked for our dd, but anything's worth a go. :fingerscrossed:

[grass is always greener]

my ds was just like this and i was suffering really badly from post natal depression. one night i was sitting getting ready to feed him and i just couldn't. i started crying knowing that i had to feed him but after having mastitis and temps around 40 i physically and mentally couldn't do it anymore. he also was feeding for over 1.5 hours every feed, he was 10lb born and wanted more than i could provide.
so he was crying because he was hungry and i was crying because i felt like a bad mother, my dp woke up and seen this and made ds a bottle. i felt bad for giving him this as we had decided that we wanted to breast feed for as long as we could, however after just one bottle feed he was completly satified. i am not suggesting that you stop breast feeding but have you thought of substituting one night feed with a bottle? this way bub is getting what he needs and if you need a rest, hubby can feed him and get some time with your son and bond over a great time.

[happydays]

Thanks everyone for their advice.

EnglishClaire I'm doing better today.

I've decided to give Tizzie Hall's routines a go again yesterday.

I stretched his feeds to 4 hourly and tried Tizzie's self-settling technique.

The settling technique seems to work better for me now (maybe bubs was too young when I first tried a few weeks back) but I'm still not sure about my son's protesting or emotional cry because if I do pick him up it stops (so does this mean his full on teary cry was just a protest one??)

Also, can you clarify what I am suppose to do to help the catnapping? After 40 mins do I get him up and don't allow him to fall asleep at all, because he gets irritated and I have to hold him and he starts dozing off again (but only in my arms). Also, if he sleeps for only 15mins do I still get him up or restart the self-settling process?

Thanks

[AvasMama]

Hi Happy Days,

Can I ask what are some of Tizzie's self settling techniques? At the moment I am having a few of the same issues too and after a week of co- sleeping and demand feeding am exhausted (especially when I have to get up in the morning to a two year old).:sleeping:

[Refresh]

because if I do pick him up it stops

I'm sorry if this sounds blunt but in that sentence you have your answer.....he wants to be with you:hugs:

[sam's mum]

I went to a day clinic with the child health nurse to learn how to get my little one settled. He was a changed boy after only one day. I learnt how to better look for and recognise his tired signs so I could settle him down before he got overtired. I got him into an sleep, eat, play routine so that he wasn't feeding to sleep. I started wrapping him again. All of this contributed, but the big one was the tired signs.

The other thing was stretching his feeds so that he would have a proper feed, while also limiting the amount of time he spent on me. He had been using me as a dummy. (and I was a dummy :laughing: )

See if you can get the information on the tired signs. I don't remember what they are for the little bubbas anymore. (better remember by October)

[*Sparkles*]

I attended a sleep and settling class last weekend (my bub is almost 6 weeks old). They also suggested the feed, play, sleep routine. My bub is very alert during the day so 1 hour is too soon for us, we tend to have him up for 1 1/2 hours but we look for the tired signs and then put him to his bed.
If he cries, we leave the room and go back every few minutes to settle. I find that saying "ssshhhh" and gently stroking his head can work, we use a dummy when needed too. We also play a lullaby CD beside his basinette. Sometimes we have to do this several times (me and DH take turns so we don't get too stressed). He has usually settled by about 4 attempts. We also wedge him in the basinette with an anti roll cushion and rolled up towels. He likes the security and it stops him rolling over. Sometimes I swaddle him too. You can also try side settling and then roll bubson his back when he's asleep.

I hope everyone's suggestions help you.

[SalTheGal]

I am divided between 'routines' and responding to bubs needs.

I have had lots of problems with settling with our DS, I cannot leave him to cry, but found that constantly picking him up/ cosleeping feeding to sleep etc was wearing me down personally.

So my happy medium is putting DS down to sleep, and if he cries I sit by the cot and rub his back and talk softly to him. This way he isn't in the habit of being picked up, yet I am not leaving him to 'cry it out' which I could never do, he knows I am there and doing as much as I can to soothe him.

This seems to be working for us.

[EnglishClaire]

happydays (http://www.bubhub.com.au/community/forums/member.php?u=12875) it is great to see you back I was wondering how you were getting on. What Tizzie suggests is to put him to bed at the time on the routine for his age and to only let him only protest cry. So yes if he is stopping when you pick him up it is a protest. As you know she explains all the cries in her book. If he goes to sleep and wakes up after even as little as 15 minutes she would suggest you get your little one up keep him wrapped and pop him on your chest and patting his back to the rhythm of your heart beat and get him back to sleep on you. Please let me know how you get on.

[wattle]

I'm with Ffrenchie - a chiropractor that specialises in babies would be great. It made a huge difference for us and was a simple thing to do. Many babies spines are slightly out of alignment after birth and giving them a quick tweak can assist with colic, reflux and sleeping problems.

I hope things are improving for you.