tantrums

[pingu]

Hello

I know most toddlers around the age of 2 start throwing tantrums - just want to know how other parents handle it - My daughter - 2yrs is throwing more & more tantrums - possibly because I have a 3mth old & maybe its jealousy...I try to leave her as most mags/books suggest when they throw tantrums but she starts screaming even worse - its never slows down..i give in after a few mins & go to her. Are other toddlers out there the same.....should i be concerned that she does this & when i do leave her to calm down she screams like crazy? Please give your advise/experience

[mamafelix]

Hi pingu

Felix is only 18 months so I'm not sure if the tantrums I get are anything like 2 yo ones, but for me the quickest way to calm him down is to hold him gently, rub his back etc. I also talk calmly to him, tell him it's okay to be cross, express understanding at why he's upset (but don't give in to his demands) and try and suggest something interesting to do.
Yeah, sounds great when I write it down but of course it doesn't always work! :)

from talking with other parents I get the idea that different strategies work for different kids- some kids might react really well to time out, other kids definately don't!

I guess my advice would be to follow your instincts- you're the one who knows your child best- do what seems right for her, which might not neccesarily be what the mags and books say...

It's pretty tough with a small baby and a two year old. Hang in there!

[razzle]

Hi Pingu

I remember watching A Current Affair a while back (maybe a couple of months)and there was a story about handling tantrums. I think it was an American guy saying that the most effective way to handle a temper tantrum was for the parent to sit down with the child and have a tantrum as well. Apparently this shows the child, in a way they can understand, that you understand them. I can only vaguely remember the story, maybe someone else can recall the finer details.

I thought it was a bit far fetched - those wacky Americans will try anything - but I spoke to my sister who has a friend that swears by this method. The kid starts screaming and Mum sits down next to him and mimics his behaviour. Apparently it works a treat for her son.

I just tried to look it up on the ACA website with no luck, with my memory it might have even been Today Tonight. Who knows - might be worth a try... I guess it depends on the type of tantrum too.

Good luck!!

[tobysmum]

hey boomtish
they had this guy on Dr Phil also. It looked absolutely insane and the mum said she felt incredibly stupid but was a convert after she tried it. If her little boy was screaming that he didn't want to go to bed for example she was supposed to get down to his level and yell with him 'you don't want to, you don't want to' over and over until she was sure that her boy knew that she got his message then she was supposed to say 'but we're going to' over and over in a calmer voice while taking him to bed. After awhile of doing this their tantrums got less and less and they started just saying what they wanted as they knew that mum was acknowledging the message they were trying to get across. It honestly cracked me up and it is definately not for me but there are some who apparently swear by it. I can't think of the guys name but he is a paeditrician and has a couple of books out. Happy tantrums to all :D