Feeling Jealous

[Crazy Monkey]

Hi ladies,

I just found out that my SIL is pregnant (she's about 9 weeks) and although I am happy for her and my brother, I am also feeling jealous and am on the verge of breaking down crying...

My SIL had my nephew in August last year and this bubs is due September/October, so he'll be about 13 months...

Think I'm finding it harder because my little angel was due in August... As far as I know this wasn't planned, although they wanted another bubs...

I feel really stupid, its the first time I've felt this way and I've heard of pregnancy due around the same time as I was and not felt anything... She's carrying my neice or nephew and all I want to do is cry because its not me...

Please tell me this is normal and I'll get over it... I am really happy for them and I don't want them to sense that I am jealous and I want to look forward to meeting the bubs without feeling like this...

Thanks for letting me get it off my chest and I hope it makes sense...

[rynosmum]

Yes it is normal - it is so very very normal. You poor thing. I found it so hard when friends were announcing their pregnancies when we had just lost our bubba. I was happy for them of course but my heart was tearing out because it wasn't us.

Take some time away just to gather your thoughts. You aren't being been or spiteful, you just want to be a Mummy again and there is nothing wrong with that.

:hugs: to you.

[Percy]

Im sorry your having such a rough time:hugs:

It is definately normal. The pain does eventually get easier. Please dont feel silly.

I have recently passed my sons due date. He would have been 2. The hardest thing for me, is that my best friends two year old has the same birthday. The birthday party was so hard, i couldnt look at him without my heart being ripped out.

It doesnt make you selfish. greif is such a personal journal. Take all the time you need to get through the rough patches.

:hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

[JATS]

My daughter would be 3 this year, she would have been almost exactly one year older than Thomas. We have friends with a son born within weeks of her due date the same year, when we see them and they tell us all the new things he's doing it does tear at me, knowing she'd be doing those things too by now, KWIM?

It never goes away, you just learn to cope, you learn not fo have negative feelings towards the parents.

It's ok to mourn, you have to let yourself or it will consume you.

[bigglet]

This is normal and I felt the same way when my friend announced her pregnancy and still do when I hear people all around me talking about pregnancy - I get all upset when I hear about people not even wanting to get pregnant or even thinking about not continuing a pregnancy - it's hard when you want a baby so much yourself. :gloomy:

I was due in August as well so I truly understand the extra sting.

Big :hugs: to you and one day you'll be the one on the other side announcing your pregnancy and we'll all be jealous :kiss:

[Crazy Monkey]

Thanks ladies, glad I'm not alone...

I don't know where I would be without BubHub at the moment... the last few months have been tough and everyone here has been a great support... :hugs: to everyone

[Bel1978]

Yes this is very normal... I have had 3 M/C's and i am due in May but to keep this baby alive i have to inject blood thining needles each day and take a few tablets...

I was given a whole load of baby clothes when i was pregnant with 1 of the bubs then i was asked for them back when my SIL found out she was having her 3rd baby....

Im scared too that some thing will happen even though im in the 3rd trim.

[Rainbowbrite]

I hear you Crazy Monkey :hugs: Not as close to home but I got a message off a friend the other day asking if we were ever going to have another bub & telling us that she is 12 weeks pg......exactly what I would have been now :gloomy: really knocked me around again.

I think its totally normal to be upset :hugs:

[mini_me]

I feel your pain! :hugs: My bub was due in August and i have a friend whos currently 18 weeks (just a couple weeks above where i would have been right now) Some days its so difficult to support her when i feel jealous and turn into the green eyed zomie when she gives me updates on how well shes going. And to top it off my friends g/f just announced their 6 weeks and a workmate of DH is 12.

Hang in there its hard but i believe if you support and celebrate with the pregnancys and births around you - eventually it will happen again and all the good vibes you've sent out will create a happy bean of your own :hugs:

[Adria]

As everyone has said it is perfectly normal.
My SIL fell pregnant and i worked out it she would have conceived when we lost our baby.
Shortly after that my cousins announced they were pregnant (sadly they opted for a terminaion due to abnormalities at 22 weeks)
DDs swimming teacher also said she was pregnant due a week before i was.
Every single time i would end up in tears.
Hang in there things get better.

[iluvmeboyz]

it's totally normal i have afew friends that are preg
and i want one so much but have to wait

[Shadek]

Hi ladies new to this side of the bubhub I have 3 wonderful children from marriage no1 aged 16,14 &10.I had my tubes tied in 2000 due to divorce and then I met my new hubby in 2001.We have just been through our first IVF cycle on Tuesday just gone got a :bfn: .
I have been reading the post on here for you all and im glad im not the only one feeling this way about friends who have had a :bfp: I feel i have done something wrong as I never had a problem before I keep on crying this morning I had something come out and then started to bleed is this normal????.I have never had a MC before and just dont know.:crying: :crying:

[xpectant]

Shadek - sorry to hear of your conception issues. Not sure about the bleeding - wouldn' hurt to get a BT to see what your HCG levels are. All the best. Feel free to join is in the TTC threads. You'll find loads of support.

[flib]

It's so normal to feel jealous and sad and just awful!

I've been in both positions with a close friend having her baby when I should have been having mine and also being pregnant when my SIL was having miscarriages.

The good news is that everyone got their babies in the end. It doesn't take away the loss of a miscarriage - you never forget but I hope that with time you'll be pregnant again. Waiting for it to happen again is the hard part.

I hope it all works out for you.

Best wishes

[SilverStarfish]

Like everyone's said... it's normal to be upset. Three days after we got the sad news that our baby had died we had to go to Melbourne to visit DH's Grandfather who wasn't well. We were staying with DH's Aunt - who has three pregnant daughters at the moment! One of them was very supportive and understanding. She lost a baby about the same time I found out I was pregnant with Sarah.

Our little baby #2 would have been born in September, and my EDD was the same day as a very close friend's wedding. She has a little countdown ticker on her computer and it makes me a little sad sometimes to see it and to be reminded of what happened.

[little kingdom]

it is perfectly normal.. you just can't ignore that feeling.. but I know that you'll be okay by time.. take care..

[Kadwil]

I find it hard to hear about other women being pregnant also - I was pregnant with both my sisters before my miscarriage and it is difficult watching them progress with their pregnancies while I am still waiting for AF 14 weeks later!

My sister talked to me about if she was talking too much about her pregnancy - she didn't want to stop talking about it because then she would be leaving me out and she didn't want to do that. Now when I grimace or walk out of the room she knows I have just had enough and doesn't take it personally. I respect her right to celebrate her pregnancy and she respects my right to protect myself from time to time.

Talking to her about how we should handle things was the best thing that happened - it is OK to respect where everyone else is at, but make sure they respect where you are at also.

Best of luck for you and your family. :) Hopefully soon it will be you sharing your good news - and I will be happy for you, (but secretly jealous! LOL). Bring on the baby dust!

[BubbaNoogie]

:hugs: :hugs: to you.

I know exactly how you feel.
When I lost the twins my best friend was pregnant as well (a month further along). I didnt see or speak to her for 4 months. I just couldnt, because it hurt so much. I feel terrible and incredibly guilty about cutting her off, but I had to do it for my own emotional health. Luckily for me she is a fantastic person and totally understood (thats why she is my best friend).

Take time to grieve.

I hope that everything works ou well for you.:hugs: :hugs:

[spoon]

[quote=Amaris&BethanysMum;121689 to you.

I know exactly how you feel.
When I lost the twins my best friend was pregnant as well (a month further along). I didnt see or speak to her for 4 months. I just couldnt, because it hurt so much. I feel terrible and incredibly guilty about cutting her off, but I had to do it for my own emotional health. Luckily for me she is a fantastic person and totally understood (thats why she is my best friend).

Take time to grieve.

I hope that everything works ou well for you.[/quote]


Oh darling, how could i not understand:crying: it was so devastating to me too. i just love you so much, and i had to put a lot of faith into our friendship, and look how it paid off honey.

I want you to have what you need and so if it is time to yourself i want that too.

To the original poster...:hugs: take the time you need like my darling best friend did. you need to look after yourself and grieve for your little angel:hugs:

I love you so much Brooke.