Hit Me With It ....

[reAllytee]

Im not sure whether its possible or whether it will happen for sure but honestly after my trip to my first midwives appt today i want to work out if it can happen.

While nothing went wrong as such i just felt so overwhelmed going back to the hospy & them wanting so much more testing done etc. What made it worse was they didnt even have the records from Boof's birth which just made me wonder if they really knew what was going on. We had a hard traumatic birth & honestly i dont want that again in fact i refuse to have that again. Being there & them not having any info just made me think " oh this is going to be history repeating ".

I want this birth to be empowering, sacred & loving. Boof's was far from this & even as i sit writing this im trying to not to feel so anxious or cry about it all. Most people dont get how i can feel this way but i do.

So im 19wks where do i start & how does it all work ?

[Ffrenchknickers]

I have considered homebirths twice...and would have done it if I didnt get into the birth centre.....dont know all that much about the technicalities but I just wanted to sy good luck and :hugs:

[reAllytee]

I have considered homebirths twice...and would have done it if I didnt get into the birth centre.....dont know all that much about the technicalities but I just wanted to sy good luck and :hugs:

Thanks hun :hugs:

Ive just sent off some emails to find out if i even have an independant middie near me to start lol cause that sorta helps hehehe.
Here is hoping this will help with my decision :fingerscrossed:

[SammieSnail]

Also if you still wanted to stick with the hospital maybe you could hire a doula (sp?)?
From what I've heard a doula would be a good step to achieving your empowering, sacred & loving birth.

:hugs:

I've been doing a bit of reading, as after my 1.5hr birth I've been told that the next could be too quick to allow me a chance to even get to the hospital.

From what I've read it is a good idea to remain 'booked in' with your hospital as if anything happens your private midwife will facilitate your transfer etc.

Here is a PDF of an emergency childbirth booklet I found which also has info on homebirthy stuff (it takes a while to load):
http://www.umbrellanoize.com/stuff/Emergency%20Childbirth.pdf

HTH

[SammieSnail]

You've probably looked at this, but if you haven't here it is lol:
http://www.bubhub.com.au/infohomebirth.shtml

[AM]

You've made a great start just finding out if there are any in your area, hopefully where you are there are a good few to choose from.
It is easy.
Just go and interview them all, and see who you like the best, and take it from there.

All the best, it will be an amazing experience, trust me!:)

[reAllytee]

Thanks Sammie & AM.

And thanks for the PM's.

Still trying to read what i can etc.

Im just finding the whole idea of birthing again very daunting to be honest.

[AM]

I hear ya! There is a lot of psychological work to be done during pregnancy, lucky it lasts give or take 40 weeks!:)

I'll listen to you...:hugs:

[lilpearl]

After going to my "booking in" appointment at my local hospital, I knew there was no way I'd have my baby there...alarm bells were ringing the whole time, as the medwife tried using scare tactics on me about uterine rupture and all that BS...and I'm a doula! I had to then tell her how it really is! Anyway, I knew there was never going to be the right sort of support or respect at the hospital,a nd I've felt so FREE after deciding on a homebirth. I haven't looked back. My blood pressure is lower than it's ever been during all of my pregnancies (not that it's ever been an issue), as my midwife comes to me and I'm so RELAXED when she takes it, no traveling, no hospital smells, no sick people to walk past, just me and my family - and that's just the pre-natal appointments! I wish you all the best in planing an beautiful birth experience!

[mytwolilprinces]

Allyoo, not sure what area you are in but I know that St George Midwife Run Birthing Centre have a "homebirth" service. Not sure how it all works but I have friends who have given birth at The Birthing Centre at St George and they thought it was wonderful, the middies there are all for natural births with little or no intervention at all. I think there are some other birthing centre's who offer a "homebirth" option as well.

[AM]

"Homebirth" in a Birthing Centre? That is a contradiction in terms, and quite frankly laughable!
(Nothing against you mytwolilprinces)

Birthing in a Birth Centre is simply a hospy birth in disguise.

[reAllytee]

After going to my "booking in" appointment at my local hospital, I knew there was no way I'd have my baby there...alarm bells were ringing the whole time, as the medwife tried using scare tactics on me about uterine rupture and all that BS...and I'm a doula! I had to then tell her how it really is! Anyway, I knew there was never going to be the right sort of support or respect at the hospital,a nd I've felt so FREE after deciding on a homebirth. I haven't looked back. My blood pressure is lower than it's ever been during all of my pregnancies (not that it's ever been an issue), as my midwife comes to me and I'm so RELAXED when she takes it, no traveling, no hospital smells, no sick people to walk past, just me and my family - and that's just the pre-natal appointments! I wish you all the best in planing an beautiful birth experience!

I felt exactly the same Liana quite sick when i walked in ! I also suffer from Hyperemesis so the idea of having my middie come to me rather than me trying to battle public transport :barf: all the way seems so blissful !



Allyoo, not sure what area you are in but I know that St George Midwife Run Birthing Centre have a "homebirth" service. Not sure how it all works but I have friends who have given birth at The Birthing Centre at St George and they thought it was wonderful, the middies there are all for natural births with little or no intervention at all. I think there are some other birthing centre's who offer a "homebirth" option as well.

Im unfortunately nowhere near St George hospy :( That is where Boof wouldve been born had we not moved & it would have been lovely !



"Homebirth" in a Birthing Centre? That is a contradiction in terms, and quite frankly laughable!
(Nothing against you mytwolilprinces)

Birthing in a Birth Centre is simply a hospy birth in disguise.

AM they are now offering 3 alternatives at this hospy either a normal birthing suite, the birthing centre or a home birth. So its actually a proper home birth & its great we are hoping its the start of it becoming more mainstream & hospy's actually seeing it as something "normal".

Still havent heard back from any of the independant middies .... I understand they are busy etc but its making me feel even worse to be honest. :gloomy:

[shed]

I have been making some enquiries as well. I really wanted to have Baden at home but we just couldn't swing it - well, DP wouldn't pay for it and I wasn't confident enough to really push it (I always get my way when I push for it but I didn't).

Next time I would really like a homebirth so I am starting to do my homework now. I have rung a few and talked to them and got quotes.

There aren't that many in Sydney. I have a list that I got from the expo last year. The going rate is four grand.

I hired a doula and was booked into Fairfield birthing unit, which I then swapped to Liverpool hospital (still not really sure why I did that!! - I was going to labour at home and then just pop up the road, which IS sort of what happened but I shoulda went to the birthing unit).

I had a wonderful labour as you know ally. If all else fails use my doula, or at least meet with her and see what you think. Or hire another doula. DO NOT give birth without one, that's my advice.

And remember, you're a different person this time round.

And keep me posted on this St George thing. I have never heard of it.

[AM]

OK!:laughing: Excellent if they are REAL Home Births!!:thumbsup:

O - and ring those MW's again! Let them know you are serious, and want to meet with them soon!

[reAllytee]

Yeah see ive always toyed with the idea of a homebirth/ waterbirth but DP is really scared about it all. To be honest he is more petrified this time around after all that happened. Im really going to have to have him spoken to by the middie also because he is scared he may lose me & the baby this time. *sigh*
All the dramas !

Yes will definately be putting feelers out for a Doula especially if i cant have a homebirth because im quite petrified & i need someone on MY side.

[reAllytee]

AM - Im going to ! Plus im also trying somewhere else in regards to finding more !

Yeah isnt it strange to be hearing a hospy offering homebirth help :eek: :smiliedance: :yelclap:

[AM]

strange, but good (if they don't try to throw their weight around too much...)

[lilpearl]

"Homebirth" in a Birthing Centre? That is a contradiction in terms, and quite frankly laughable!
(Nothing against you mytwolilprinces)

Birthing in a Birth Centre is simply a hospy birth in disguise.

I agree with you, depending on the birth centre. When I had my daughter at the RPA's birth centre, however, I couldn't have wished for a more 'homelike' experience, and attitude that my midwife held. No monitoring, no internals (unless I requested them), a lovely natural water birth that I know wouldn't have been posible in any hospital for me (given that I've had a caesarean in the past)...and I think I would never have chosen a home birth this time round had they not respected my birth and given me the freedom to have such an empowering birth experience for my initial VBAC in the birth centre - it gave me the confidence in myself to take back my births, and hence, I now have no hesitation in a homebirth...and I do see homebirth as the safest, optimum choice in most cases. Anyway, while not a 'homebirth', it was not a hospital birth either...I trusted in my midwives trust in the birth process, and that she would not have allowed any 'outside' influence in, any more readily than an independent midwife transferring one to hospital. Of course, it absolutely depends on the birth centre though! I always recommend that women look into transfer rates, etc.

[reAllytee]

Auuugh just got some quotes in regards to the cost & DP is freaking out.
Admittedly we dont have any money to spare due to him only just re-commencing work after 6mths & then thats only part time. So we are struggling as it is to then add this *sigh*
I also know he is still freaked at the idea of having a homebirth also which i think may be negatively affecting his response.
Im just so upset he cant see this means a big deal to me :gloomy:

[AM]

:hugs: Give him some time... :fingerscrossed: he will think about it, and realise how important it is to you.

Is he the kind of guy you can educate at all?

Do you have any HB groups around about to go to?

I hope he comes round.

[Areca]

I haven't read all of these posts so forgive me if I'm way out of line. In Newcastle there is a freestanding birth centre...it's about 20-30minutes from the hospital, no doctor's on site at all, you see the same midwife the whole way through, that midwife delivers your baby. You can stay up to 4 hours in the birth centre post birth and then you go home and have a midwife (I'm pretty sure it's the one that delivers your baby) come to your house for up to 3 weeks post birth (if you need them that long). I've never been to see it (I love my midwife at the birth centre in the hospital here) but they have no forceps etc, they don't do inductions and like I said no doctor's at all. You can have a water birth there too.
I'm mentioning it because I was wondering, if the money for a home birth was too much for you, if something like that would suit you better if they have it in Sydney. It's 100% free of charge so if you just can't get your DP on board maybe you'd be comfortable in a place like that?
Good luck Ally!

[reAllytee]

:hugs: Give him some time... :fingerscrossed: he will think about it, and realise how important it is to you.

Is he the kind of guy you can educate at all?

Do you have any HB groups around about to go to?

I hope he comes round.

Oh he realises how important it is, i just thought he was being narky at me. Turns out he was more angry full stop that he cant provide me the money to do this. Made me feel rather guilty :o
We both had a good talk about it tonite its we just arent sure how we would afford it.
We are going to look into a few things we have & see whether we could see them to make some money to put towards it. Might even ask my mum as a gift to the baby if she adds some money. We will see.

We talked about how much better it would be even if for some reason i do end up in hospy she will be at my side as well as just the before & after care which to me is huge !



I haven't read all of these posts so forgive me if I'm way out of line. In Newcastle there is a freestanding birth centre...it's about 20-30minutes from the hospital, no doctor's on site at all, you see the same midwife the whole way through, that midwife delivers your baby. You can stay up to 4 hours in the birth centre post birth and then you go home and have a midwife (I'm pretty sure it's the one that delivers your baby) come to your house for up to 3 weeks post birth (if you need them that long). I've never been to see it (I love my midwife at the birth centre in the hospital here) but they have no forceps etc, they don't do inductions and like I said no doctor's at all. You can have a water birth there too.
I'm mentioning it because I was wondering, if the money for a home birth was too much for you, if something like that would suit you better if they have it in Sydney. It's 100% free of charge so if you just can't get your DP on board maybe you'd be comfortable in a place like that?
Good luck Ally!

Thats sounds awesome but unfortunately there isnt anything like that here in Sydney i dont think but definately nothing near me :thumbsdown:

[Areca]

That sucks Ally....that birth centre is in Belmont so depending on where you live in Sydney it might be an option for you? My best friend's IL's live in Sydney but it only takes them an hour and a bit to get to Belmont.
I really hope you get the birth you want. You deserve it!

[AM]

Well Ally, you both sound as though you are on the same page and that is wonderful!

So I guess the 'baby bonus' is already spent?

I really, really hope you manage to get that money from somewhere.:fingerscrossed:

[reAllytee]

Well Ally, you both sound as though you are on the same page and that is wonderful!

So I guess the 'baby bonus' is already spent?

I really, really hope you manage to get that money from somewhere.:fingerscrossed:



Yeah he is gorgeous !

The baby bonus isnt totally spent as such but some already is yes because we needed a new cot due to DP being injured. The one we have for Boof isnt suitable anymore. Then there are a few more things like change table etc again because we need to help him out as much as possible so he can be hands on.

Plus he is adamant we put a little aside like we did with Boof for his future in case anything happens especially as he may end up in a wheelchair & unable to support us.

But who knows we may be able to work something !

[Zan]

The model at St Georges is similar to the options available in the UK. (homebirth is available through every hospital/health authority and is every woman's right in the UK) Quite a few hospitals also have a birth centre, that is run separately and is not the same as a hospital birth, but allows easy transfer for drugs/intervention and obviously has rules that must be followed (I have had a lot of friends have brilliant natural birth experiences at birth centres, the midwives are generally much more pro natural birth). I haven't been through St Georges system but have been through the public system in the UK and think that it would be similar.
The only issues are the m/w's are employed by the hospital and therefore 'have' to adhere to hospital policy. But then it does depend on the m/w you get. Some will follow hospital policy to the letter, others won't (the more pro homebirth ones ie with dd1 I pushed for 4 hours so double the hospital limit but my notes were just amended to cover under 2 hours).

Good luck with either finding the money or getting the birth you want.

Zan (currently 5 days overdue - awaiting homebirth number 3).

[Duchessa]

Hey Ally, I've only just read through your thread. I hope that things work out the way that you want them to. It is a lot of money to come with. There are some middies do payment plans.

The St Georges hospy plan sounds very progressive and a b/c would have to be a better option than hospy...

Best of luck!

[reAllytee]

Thanks Duchessa.

We are working it all out & hopefully we will find a solution to it all one way or another.

But im certainly fighting for a better birth this time & have even started the wheels in motion to actually seek counselling to de-brief about Boof's birth.
Hopefully this leads to a better, positive birth this time around !

[Claire-Bear]

Hey Ally,

Sounds like you are taking some great steps towards a better birth. I truley wish you the best of luck and suggest you read "Gentle birth gentle mothering" by Sarah Buckley. You might benefit from reading "Birthing from within" - England & Horowitz. I hope that the counselling helps.

Claire