R U The BEST Dad you can be?

[rainman]

Just wondering what changes you may have made
in yourself and yourlife when you first became a Dad
so that you could be the best Dad you could possibly
be?

For example I gave up smoking ,started exercising more,read books on parenting,started doing more
around the house....etc

Also what changes do you want to make in the future
to improve your Dadness?

It could be something little like not looking for porn on the internet every night but instead looking for positive affirmations to read to your child the next day.

Ok so thats probably something big not little but you get the idea.

[SweetSerenity]

Just wondering what changes you may have made
in yourself and yourlife when you first became a Dad
so that you could be the best Dad you could possibly
be?

For example I gave up smoking ,started exercising more,read books on parenting,started doing more
around the house....etc

Also what changes do you want to make in the future
to improve your Dadness?

It could be something little like not looking for porn on the internet every night but instead looking for positive affirmations to read to your child the next day.

Ok so thats probably something big not little but you get the idea.


Hi... not a dad here... but just wanted to say what a great thread! :yes:

Im sure this will make alot of dads think very hard :)

Good on you.

[melfunction]

Will be interesting to see how many other dads have 'manned' up.

Your wife is one lucky girl.

[Daddy2Angels]

I spose this is an interesting forum as you could say are you the best mum you can be?

For me I have made several changes since I have become a father.

3 years ago I would average 18/20 hours a day infront of a computer.

If I was not infornt of a computer I was usually down the pub or somewhere else where it involved getting on the 'sauce'

Basically since I have become a dad I game far less, do far less geeky things even though DD is a technology freak she loves anything with a display or buttons.

I still smoke but I have never ever smoked around and especially have not smoked in front of the kids. But my average day consists of coming home from work either feeding DD1 or DD2 their breakfast or if DP has already done it I will play with them for a few hours before I goto bed.

Also I am very particular about work now making sure I am full time and not doing contracts like when I was single.

I also make sure DP and I have time to cuddle and stuff like that to make sure she knows I do love and adore her and appeciate all the things she does around the house.

Even though DP is home with the kids all the time I still try and incorporate like a mini weekend so she gets to sleep in once a week.

I cant say I have changed on this point but I always take a keen and particular interest to point out what things are to the kids and tell DD's people names over and over again. With DD1 it worked too well cause up until recently all she would say was 'da da'

It is a hard question to answer as if you know you are going to be a dad you prepare to make changes in your life and lifestyle to ensure you can be the best dad you can be regardless.

After all there is no point having children if you are not prepared to give it you all.

The only medal in terms of parenting is the smiles seeing them grow, seeing them explore their surrondings, learn at a rapid rate, the cuddles and the kisses, wait for the ''I hate you dad' and before you know it they will be all grown up and at the end of the day only you will know if you truely did give it your all to ensure you were the best dad you could be. :rolleyes:

[SweetSerenity]

After all there is no point having children if you are not prepared to give it you all.


I like that point... If only all parents thought that way!:yes:

[Daddyof2]

I would like to think I'm being the best dad i can be. It took my wife and i too seperate to make me realise what i had. Since my wife and I got back together I am presently giving up smoking. I have started helping around the house more than what I used to.

[rainman]

Well I'm only a Dad to one little boy at the moment with another on the way so I can see you guys really have ya hands full.

Man it's hard to give up smoking.I only done it with the help of a drug that I got from the doctor that reduces cravings and my motivation to quit was to keep myself as healthy as possible so I will be around as long as possible for my children.(now I've just got to learn to eat healthy)

[Daddyof2]

Rainman was that drug Zyaban? if it was did you have any side effects? I tried taking that and i couldn't sleep? just intrested if anyone else has had similar problems. :confused:

[rainman]

Yep was Zyban.I took it for two weeks then stopped
smoking and the cravings were dulled just enough that I could go without a fag.

I continued to take it for another week then decided to continue without it as the side affects can be bad.Myself I went off food and felt very sick at times it also played havok with my mood as in it put me in a very bad one.

But in saying that I wish I stayed with it a bit longer as in I hadn't been off the fags long when I stopped taking it and the craving to smoke come back again
very strongly and I almost started up again.

For me though I think the key to quit smoking was to get set in my head that after I finished my last smoke I just told myself that it was the last one I would EVER EVER have and it was.I have not even had a puff since because I know if I did I would just start smoking again.You've just got to treat it like the addiction that it is and realise that every day for the rest of your life you'll have to make the choice to smoke or not to smoke even if you've been quit for a long time.

[steve]

changes you may have made
I did a few changes and infact it has brought my self and my wife a lot closer.
1. I don’t use the computer as much as I use too.
2. I help around the house a lot more my wife and I do the house work together after I get home.
3.I also went out and brought books for dads and a DVD to learn how to be the best father.
4. I am take cooking lessons since I am hopeless in that department :)
5. I don’t go out with my friends as much … gave up the weekends fishing trip and camping trip to stay home.

Also what changes do you want to make in the future
Planning to adventure in to the IT industry hopefully at the end I will be getting a nifty salary.

[rainman]

Cooking lessons, Go Steve!:yelclap:

I'm also looking to improve my imployment situation
and am thinking of joining customes as they are suppose to pay well.

I also don't go out much and I like to think it's a choice I've made to be a better Dad and husband but
sometimes I think it might just be because I'm to busy.LOL I guess I'll find out if I ever get any spare time again.:D

[steve]

Would be interesting to see how many fathers spend a lot of time at home?
I know how you feel… It feels like I am also busy but I have decided I need time out once awhile go out fishing or camping even to the movies or pub.

[Amberlea]

*pokes head in*
No - not a father.. but just wanted to send appreciation to you dads who do actually see fatherhood as something great and not as a "chore"

Makes me less annoyed at the so called 'dads' in my children's lives to know there are 'good dads' out there.

[jessi]

It could be something little like not looking for porn on the internet every night but instead looking for positive affirmations to read to your child the next day.



Gosh, if my DF did this instead of looking at porn, id be shocked!! And ... helping around the house, playing with DD and not spending every spare minute on the Xbox 360... I think our relationship would be a HELL of a lot better!!!!

As you can tell, he does the very minimum with his 'parenting' role. I feel like Im raising our child on my own.

[rainman]

Well girlfriend it sounds like your man needs to step
up or step out!

But as we all know everythings not all black and white.He may be feeling lost as a parent and he may
not know how to express that so he keeps to himself and plays his games or it could be that he's a lazy immature ***** that needs a wake up call either way nothings gonna change untill you change it.

As the loving partner I'm sure you are it sounds like you are needing to encourage him and support him in finding his inner Dadness.

This can be done through simple things such as family outings and activities.

You could also explain to him instead of playing as a super hero in a video game where the only reward for
saving the day is some cheesy ending.
He could be the superman in his childs life because thats exactly what Dads are in the eyes of their children and the rewards for being a good role model
at the end of this game are unmeasurable.

Or you could simply keep your legs crossed untill he picks up his act.

But the simple fact is(and this goes for all the woman out there who aren't happy with their partners Dadness)is that nothing will change unless you take steps to change it and your children deserve that.

Let me know how it goes.

[steve]

I wont lie here but I was the same … on the computer most of the time if not on the computer I was out with mates. The day my son was born was the day I grew up from 10 to 28 and I was in shock for a few days simple fact is I was amazed that my wife stood by me at every thing we have been through, It has made me see how much I love her. Now I am changing and starting to act like a husband and a father.

I am with rain man but I would take a more of …. … lets say crude way … harsh and nasty but it will tell you where u stand.
While his at work or where ever get his pc , xbox and his games and sell them …. When he comes home lay it flat and tell him ur feelings and also say if u don’t like it move out.

Ow and any guy that looks at porn while in a relationship needs serious help.

[rainman]

I also use to play Video Games alot,watch alot of movies and get on the booze abit and really this is a normal pass time for alot of males.But when my beautiful son came into this world I was a changed man overnight.

Now if I go to play a video game I just think "what a waste of time" and don't bother and it's the same for movie's most of the time especially since most of them are the same **** thats been done 20x before.Mind you though I'm a big comic book fan/geek so am looking forward spiderman 3 etc...and I did see Borat and almost wet myself laughing.
As far as drinking goes I've only had a few beers 3x since my son was born and he's almost two, I just don't won't him seeing Daddy acting like a tosser which anybody who is drunk does.(also very hard not having a smoke when I drink now)

Being a Dad and having my own little family with my beautiful wife just felt like it was why I'm on this planet for some males thats not the case they are here for another reason whatever that may be.Also the simple fact is most males in their early 20's or younger are not yet mature enough to fully appreciate what it takes to be a good father and partner.