Can a 3 month old go to sleep by themselves

[kylietheplanetgirl]

Hi Everyone,
I have a beautiful 3 month old baby girl who loves to fall asleep on the boob. I have no prob with this however I am told that I should be establishing a sleep routine. Eg. In cot awake, reassure when she gets upset and pesevere until she falls asleep. I would like to know if this has worked for anyone else?
Thanks
Kylie

[Sarie]

I bottle fed my boys, and while yes they were both younger than 3 months when I could put them in the cot and they settled themselves. It may take you a little while to establish a new routine.
I was lucky, I could put both of them down, have them whinge for a couple of minutes and go straight to sleep.
A friend of mine wasn't so lucky and her bub would scream.
See how you go, take each step as it comes, but more importantly do what is right for you and your bub. Not what someone else tells you you should be doing!
Good luck
:D

[mummycloud]

My little man is 10 weeks and has a habit of falling asleep on the boob too. As soon as I put him in his cot he wakes up screaming. I discovered a week or 2 ago, that if I put him in bed awake, he will either talk to his mobile till he falls asleep or he will do a whimpering kind of cry for 5 minutes and fall asleep. He usually stays asleep for a lot longer when he puts himself to sleep.

Every baby is different though, so you need to just try out a few things and which ever suits you best is what you do. Everything constantly changes anyway :)

[cosmic]

I have no prob with this however I am told that I should be establishing a sleep routine. Thanks
Kylie

Kylie, I agree with Sarie... if you have no problem with it, ignore those who tell you you "should" be establishing a routine!

I have fairly strong views on the issue of routines, I'm afraid :o so you can ignore me too if you want but here goes anyway.... I think there is far too much pressure on new parents to get their babies to sleep through or settle themselves. Breastmilk is designed to make baby sleepy, so it's no wonder your little one falls asleep on the boob.. that's perfect! They are little for a very, very short period of time and there is a school of thought that in the first 12mths, their wants and needs are one and the same so don't ignore what your baby wants... whether it is to be fed, cuddled or rocked to sleep.

As far as using 'sleep training' techniques, again I have strong views which I won't go into, but even Mr Ferber who invented it (trust a man to come up with a technique which tells mothers to ignore all their maternal instincts :rolleyes: ) recommends it not to be used before 6mths. And the AAIMH (Aust Assoc for Infant Mental Health) recommends you don't do it until your baby understands when you tell him/her that you are coming back (ie usually around 18mths).

Sorry for the rant. I hope you got the main gist. In summary - if you're happy and baby is happy, ignore them! :)

[MariaO]

Hi, When my little one was 3 months she did self settle. If I put her in the cot asleep, after she had fallen asleep on the breast, she would wake up very annoyed. I used to wrap her and put her in the cot awake, after a feed (albeit a little sleepy) and she used to settle herself to sleep.

Please note that at 5 months she stopped doing this so even if you are following a routine things change. If you are both happy then do not worry about anyone's advice (IMO)

[Terrible2+1cutie]

Blaze was always such a good baby, being my first and all, by 3 weeks i could put him into the cot and he would fall asleep by himself, Bailey my second wasnt so easy, he never fell asleep on my boob but always wanted to be nursed to sleep, we tried putting him in his cot to go to sleep by himself and it just didn't work. I think every baby is different.

Catherine

[Michelle_N]

I think there is far too much pressure on new parents to get their babies to sleep through or settle themselves.

Here here!!! Couldnt agree more!! I thought I was the worst mum in the world because DS would always fall asleep on the boob and I couldnt get him to go to sleep by himslef or sleep for the allotted time.

Jack is 5 months and I need to rock him to sleep during the day where he only sleeps for half an hour at a stretch and I am not forcing him to sleep or cry it out and we are both the happier for it.

But as the other mums have said all babies are different and it really is whatever works for both of you. Just dont get stressed that you and your baby arent following whatever the guidelines say you should be doing at X age.

Michelle

[channy]

I agree every baby is different. If you are happy with bubs falling asleep feeding and she is sleeping fine and you are happy with that don't worry. As for routines you can try but they change constantly. Remeber they are flexible and still go with bubs. I don't agree with leaving them to cry. If baby is distressed comfort them. If they are happy then leave them but if they get upset then I definately agree you should comfort them. I don't think they really do get more of a routine till later on. Definately not at 3 months.

[BIANCA-mummy of 2]

Hey guys, I am a believer in each to their own too. This subject is also one that gets me touchy as well, because Mums have so many bosses telling them what and what not to do. I ahve 2 boys 1 and 3. I was really bad with my first he got use to falling a sleep on the breast and then when I would take him off he would need to be rocked to sleep as soon as I tried to put him down he'd throw a tantrum I use to blame it on everything wind, pain, earache etc I would even sad to admit but I would sometimes climb into his portacot coz he'd get to heavy in my arms abd I was sooo tired and so was he. In the end I took him to see a professional and she said there was nothing wrong with him and that he was just spoilt :mad: I took her advice and tried the contol crying it KILLED me I felt sooo bad for him felt as though he thought I'd abandoned him and I cursed her but after percervering after 5 days he went down with no worries which was less stressful for us both. My second little man now usually falls asleep on the breast and then I put him straight down, although theres no worries as he doesnt wake through the night fretting for me like my first, he just sleeps until 5 and it morning time so I say if you are comfortable stay as you are but if it is more trouble than it;s worth and you want a change give the control crying a go and if it workd for you and bubs your set but if it doesnt as long as your both happy Hakun Matata LOL. Good luck :)

[cosmic]

I can't believe the amount of "professionals" who say babies are spoilt?? I'd be mad too Bianca! How can you spoil a baby?? :confused:

As for CC, I've heard so many stories of babies who cry until they vomit, or one who cried so hard she burst a blood vessel in her eye. :( They are tiny and helpless and they depend on their mother. Sometimes they just need to be able to smell you to feel safe, and if they can't they DO feel abandoned. We as adults might know that we haven't abandoned them, but they have no way of knowing that.

[Tisme]

Can a 3 month old go to sleep by themselves .... Yes .... most people have to sleep eventually!!! But nope, not always easy!!

[jonesso]

To answer your question, yes, bubs can self-settle @ 3 months, but as others have said, if you're happy with the way things are, then don't change anything unless you want to. I take all advice with a grain of salt when it comes to pregnancy, birth and parenting. Sounds like you have found your own rhythm and are happy with it.

Me, on the other hand... I am not really into attachment parenting and give my bubba lots of time on his mat, in his cot etc. Because of this, he has always settled very easily in his cot, putting himself to sleep or entertaining himself @ 5am after his feed and mummy still needs some sleep! This makes life v. easy for me. I certainly don't let him cry long or leave him for hours at a time, though!

I don't have a routine as such, have let bubba find his own, but around 3 months he slipped into EAT - PLAY - SLEEP without me even trying. Saying that though, this morning it was EAT - PLAY - EAT - SLEEP and I don't have an issue with that! He is both breast and bottle fed and will sometimes (like today) fall asleep during a feed. I don't see how that can be a crime, so don't upset bub drastically but stopping that if they're happy and thriving.

Sorry, kinda rambled!! :eek:

Good luck and enjoy your bubba - isn't now just the best time?? :D

[giggles]

I agree that everyone has their own way to do things and if it works for you, then go with it.

If you are interested in changing though, The Baby Whisperer by Tracey Hogg has some really good advice. Goes by the, dare I say what seems to be a dirty word :) , routine of E A S Y. Eat, Activity, Sleep and You time

It's not really a routine, just a sequence.

Just remember though, do what YOU want and don't listen to other people telling you which way is the "right" way.....your bub after all!

[JanetF]

Some do, most don't. There is no inherent benefit in it. Remember human babies are THE most helpless of all mammals, and in your tummy every need is completely catered for immediately. The transition from womb to world is hard enough without expecting stuff that they're just not designed for. Keep your baby as close as possible and you'll have as much sleep as you can!
Works for me! :)

[alicesmum]

Alice ALWAYS went to sleep at the boob. I am such a sucker - i ended up ALWAYS feeding her lying down (bed or couch) so that when she finally released my nipple (!!) I could just get up and leave her to sleep.

some people would say that that is terrible and not doing anything to help set up a routine for sleep, but she is 15 months old now and settles herself very well when put to bed, though she now relies on a small bottle of weak formula to get her to sleep (unless she is really tired). again, ppl might tell me i am terrible for letting her go to bed with a bottle, but i figure that it's not doing any harm; in fact, it helps her get to sleep which she needs and i need for my sanity, and I also figure that she won't be needing to do it when she's 5 or 6 or 10, so why stress out about it.

do what you feel you need to do for yourself and your babe. there are many ways of doing things, and no one way is 'right' :p

[kylietheplanetgirl]

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts and advice with me. I understand that we all have such different experiences with our babies. I know that my little one needs my help at the moment to get her off to sleep so I am going to see to that.
Thanks again
Kylie