View Full Version : If I had a dollar
If I had a dollar for every person who says "don't pick him up all the time" "don't carry him around" "why do you always carry him?" "Not picking up my DS/DD every time they wanted me to has been a lifesaver"
then I'd be a very rich woman!!
I'm just sick of it. So what if its maybe a bit more effort to carry him I like doing it, he likes it and we can so why not? It just seems like every person I meet has a negetive opinon of carrying but we enjoy it and I think its made our bond alot stronger.
How do you other mums deal with this? Any good comebacks?
:hugs: It's hard to deal with negativity all the time. I guess you could fight fire with fire: "Hey, why aren't you picking your kid up?? He just wants cuddles, why are you not cuddling him??" and have THEM justify their detached parenting.
How about :
them: "Why do you always carry him?"
you: "Coz I love him :) He's my favourite boy, he won't be little for long, I just wanna snuggle and cuddle with him all the time. What's wrong with that?" and make that last bit an actual question - again, making THEM justify their position.
Or trying being brisque:
them: "Don't carry him around"
you: "Don't tell me how to parent" (with a quick fake smile, you know the type, turn the ends of your mouth upwards but give the evil-eye ;))
Or try making them see the error of their ways:
them: "Not picking up my kid every time they wanted me to has been a lifesaver:
you: (horrified look) "You mean, they just eventually learnt that you didn't care enough to pick them up whenever they needed you? Oh I could never do that".
OK that last one's a bit mean. I'd only use that one on people who really wouldn't let the issue go. And people who I'd be prepared to argue with :D
Do you just carry him in-arms, or do you wear him? Sometimes wearing a bub can give you the perfect justification - you can tell the person that this is the best of two worlds, you have two free hands but also have your favourite boy close to you.
I had bub in the pouch at one year old. My hubby carries sometimes too in the pouch. People ask "Can't he walk?" At one he couldn't but thats not the point! Its nice for us as his parents to enjoy him as our little boy.
I give my big kids cuddles too and they are way past one (though I don't carry them).
My dad's DW was telling me at 3 weeks old that I shouldn't pick him up every time he cries.
What the hell??? Why not?? He's just a baby!!
And I still use the "excuse"
Dont worry my so called wonderful MIL was telling us when Boof was all of 2weeks old that we were "spoiling" him by picking him up when he cried etc :mad:
She also hated how i always carried him around etc but sorry sunshine tis my baby & thats life !
Just nod & smile then walk away but easier than getting into a fight with anyone about it all !
You are doing a great job :hugs:
I must look really cranky because people never ask me why I'm carrying my 2 and they are 4 and nearly 3. :laughing:
I did have someone say to DS2 (4 years old) "Aren't you a bit heavy to be carried?" But he just answered "No" so I didn't have to say anything.
I was carrying Asher around in an ergo pouch thing and it was the first time I ever encountered any negativity about carrying him I wandered into a children's clothing store and the woman there was actually talking to him, telling him that he "mustn't make mummy carry him around as it will hurt her back and shoulders".
Funnily enough, He got no negative comments while facing outwards in a baby bjorn. When it actually did hurt mummy's back.
Oh that would totally peeve me right off too!.. Who cares how much you carry your baby around? Its not affecting them!.. I would tell em to stuff off and mind their own business.. If I wanted to carry my baby around then I would! I wouldn't be listening to what everyone else says!.. Like they say, they really don't stay babies for long!
You carry your baby around for as long as you want too I say!..
the only time i wont pick up DS straight away is when he is throwing an absolute temper tantrum (kicking the legs and screaming angrily etc) but if he is just crying and stuff then i will carry him around all the time, i havent had many comments about carrying him all the time, i think i need to get an ergo carrier because my lordy the baby bjorn kills my back about 2 minutes after i put him in it and i'm finding it a bit difficult carting around 10kg in an arm all the time... but he loves to be snuggled and i don't think its anyone elses business really. I'd be tellign people so too, the comments i have had about carrying him all the time, i just told them that as a child i didn't receive much affection and i'll be damned if my son is going to have the same problem even if i do overcompensate for it at least he'll know he is loved
Awwwww:hugs: How annoying!!!
Babies grow up soooo quickley that if your happy carrying your little man carry him cause soon enough he will be to big!!!! Just try to ignor these rude ppl!!!!
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