Cyber bullying

[theycallmemum]

Has anyone else dealt with this? We let our 10yr old set up an MSN account just over a week ago because a large number of the kids in Yr 5 have one.

I can't even type what was said to him on it yesterday as it would all be blanked out. He was told to f off repeatedly by three boys, told repeatedly that he had no friends and noone liked him and finally it ended with him being told he would be bashed today at school. Fortunately he didn't see all this because I was actually using the computer and his account was left on so I got to see all this. I did print it off and took it up to the school this morning.

What I can't believe is that one of these revolting children starting calling out to him all friendly when we got into the playground. Once he saw my face he realised I knew exactly what was going on.

This thing is my son does not get bullied at school, at all! He has never been bashed up either but this MSN thing was not a joke or just kids mucking around. It was really really cruel and nasty. Why aren't the parents watching their kids on their computers, I have ours in the living room and supervise everything.

[OM]

Oh that is very sad. What did the school say when you showed them the printed document?

[theycallmemum]

Well I took it to his class teacher. He is really switched on and is dealing with this with his own 10yr old daughter in another school. I did specifically ask that he dealt with this, we had a similar situation last year and the principal handled it very badly (naming the child in front of all the yr 4 boys and the principal standing there in front of them crying so the boy just got bullied even more behind the scenes). We have told our son to just completely ignore the 3 boys and avoid them if he can. He can defend himself if it gets physical but he doesn't want that and neither do we.

[Can I?]

That is awful. I know a young man who is now in Year 11 who suffered through this all through high school. The school are really limited about what they can do about it I guess. Maybe suggesting that a note be sent home to all parents in the class about monitoring computer use and using msn etc would be a good idea?

[theycallmemum]

I'm pretty sure that there will be something in today's newsletter. I agree that the schools are completely limited, I don't see it as the school's issue actually, I just wanted his teacher to be aware of the tension and to try to stop my son getting belted up today.

It's up to the parents, we have to monitor our kids on the computers and educate them how to talk to one another. If you don't like someone, leave them alone, don't harrass them. I think a big problem is the main instigator of this comes from a home where his parents don't speak english so how do they know what he is writing?

[pegasus]

I agree it's totally up to the parents to monitor what's going on for the kids on the computer.

My DSD has had heaps of issues with msn accounts and sadly, some of it she invites without realising it.

She's had cyber stalkers (which I've found out about by logging in to her account) and changes her user name multiple times.

(Put it this way - if you had in your signature:
"When da parties done and tha lights go out deres no doubt my name is the one he shoutz" There's other similar stuff we've seen her pop up as, but at 13 she really doesn't have any idea how people are viewing what she portrays.)

Luckily her mum has problems working out which bill to pay so their internet is currently cut off. If she was in our house full time there'd be a heck of a lot more monitoring that she gets at her house.

As for little kids doing it - bullying is scary and worrisome at any time. So many people say you can only feel guilty or inferior if you let yourself. I'm here to tell those people that many adults who have problems feeling inferior, or guilty about how they parent etc may well have been bullied when younger, have low self-esteem and therefore have no way of not letting themselves feel bad for something they haven't done.

It needs to be nipped in the bud, and by the parents - setting the example.

I'm sure the principal thought he was doing what's best, but very hard.....

[WeThree]

My son in year 5 has msn, but he only has my mum, his other nana, my brother, a trusted family friend and a sweet friend of his on it. He had another friend on it, a friend of mines son but he was swearing and inviting older people into the conversation etc, so I just deleted him from his msn. These parents need to be supervising their chidrens computer access.