Very disillusioned!!!!

[Megansmum]

I don't know if I am putting this in the right place, but I just am getting very FED UP with Breastfeeding. DD is eight months old and is doing fine, putting on lots of weight and is generally a happy baby. Except that she doesn't sleep. I can not get one night where she will sleep longer than maybe 4 hours. For example last night she aimed to go to bed at around 9pm but woke every hour until 1am and then woke this morning at 5am and is still awake now playing with the mirrors in the bedroom behind me. Mind you I was in tears at 1 from lack of sleep and sick of trying to work out why!?! :(

Every time she wakes at night she feeds and I am now to the point where my breasts are so empty that DD can not latch on properly. She is on maybe two, three solid feeds a day and doesn't appear to be having any reactions/intolerances. It doesn't make a difference if she eats solids, doesn't eat solids and my diet doesn't seem to make a difference either.

Through the day she will not sleep any more than 40 minutes and has done this since I bought her home from hospital, that I can live with.

Is this just breast feeding as every bottle feeding mother I speak to manages to get their babes to sleep through and I mean a good 8 to 10 hours? I have tried giving her formula in the past but she has simply refused it due to taste for the afternoon feed!?! It is too expensive to experiment with different brands as well. I have tried letting her cry back to sleep but it goes from a whimper to a scream and will continue that way for an hour or more until she is fed.

On a good night she will not go any more than three hours without a feed. I am extremely lucky if I get her to sleep from 9pm to 3am once every 6 weeks.

DH assures me that I am doing nothing wrong and he is being a great support but he himself is so tired as he is working 18 hour days, so neither of us is coping real well.

Any help thoughts and suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I just need some sleep.
Sarah-Jane :(

[tickle]

I know exactly how you feel. :( My DS did exactly the same thing at that age.
I found that he was just comfort feeding and I changed the way I comforted him and it helped a lot. Initially I had to cuddle and rock etc and then I ended up just patting him on the back. I just didn't want to bf every hour at night anymore.
Even though he wasn't self settling as such he never woke up as much through the night anymore because he knew I wasn't going to feed him.
Does that make sense? :confused: I think there are so many different options for you in regards to settling you baby at night, and I'm sure you will get a great range of ideas from the ladies here. ;)
I hope you get some more sleep soon. :)

[MariaO]

Hi Megansmum, I have a very similar problem with my little one. She used to self settle and sleep through the night but not anymore. She has rejected her dummy and wants to feed every hour or so during the night. She too only capnats during the day. In fact recently, if she has two 40 min sleeps she is doing well.

I am trying to ensure that she has enough fats in her solids diet - cheese and yoghurt etc. although I suspect that , as happy lady says, she is comfort feeding.

Hope you get some sleep soon....

[annsam]

Must admit, though I WISH I could BF, there are advantages to FF.......i.e. in the night DH gets kicked out of bed to do it. :D

[Imogensmum]

((((hugs))))) for you!!!

That is the worst feeling- not getting enough sleep!

Will your little one take BM out of the bottle???? That is the only suggestion i have! Sorry.

Hope you get a good sleep soon....

[rynosmum]

Hi Sarah-Jane,

I tend to agree with Happy Lady as well. My little one certainly got into the mode of comfort feeding. Personally I don't believe that formula feeding is any better for long sleeps than B/feeding, esp if bubs is getting solids as well.

We found it was more a requirement to lear to self-settle. Our bubs couldnt do this so whenever he went through a light sleeping pattern, he would wake up, not know how to go back to sleep and would therefore cry and need a comfort feed to go back to sleep as he only knew he to fall asleep when he was having a B/f.

We used a modified version of controlled crying, including patting, rather than feeding. By 6 months he was sleeping though (from 6:30 - 5:30).

For us, 'teaching' bub how to fall asleep on his own was a God-send.

Your hubby is right. You obviously care very much about your bubs and you are certainly doing all of the right things (as any paediatrician would recommend) to look after your bub. We went against some of the paed advice as we figured that without sleep, I was no use to the bub as I couldn't function and was too stressed. I found the "Baby Whisperer - Communicating with your Baby" book very insightful fror this and also learning to understand bubs patterns so much better.

Best of luck and keep us up to date with what you choose to try and how you go ! :)

[draught]

I agree with the earlier posts - the issue here is sleep not breast feeding. There are lots of books on teaching baby to sleep - whether you are ready for controlled crying or just want to replace the breastfeeding with another form of comforting, you will find that she is old enough to go through the night without food. If you are worried that she is hungry, make sure you are filling up her little tummy at night - some dessert like yoghurt and fruit or custard after dinner is a good way to really fill them up so that you know that the issue is comfort not food.

If you wean her you are still going to have the sleep issues so my advice is to sort out the sleep issues then the food will sort itself out. If you want to know more about controlled crying as an option PM me and I will send you the method that we used.

Hope you are having a better day

[Mamaduke]

To AnnSam...

Must admit, though I WISH I could BF, there are advantages to FF.......i.e. in the night DH gets kicked out of bed to do it
I agree! Don't you just love it that when you FF everyone can enjoy the experience of feeding the baby :p
Carly

[katesmom]

I was going to tell you the same things as others have. I breastfeed my dd for over 2 years and she slept about 6 hours at a time at night at that age. Does she have a blanket or stuffed animal she especially loves? My dd had to have her Winnie the Pooh blanket and her "kitties" every night for a year. Now, she can sleep without them. She also liked music to help her sleep.

I used Windows MovieMaker to make movies for the family and we played those for her at night. Also, I put my screensaver to family pictures, so when she woke up at night, she always had pics of family to look at. I would check her and see her happily watching her movies or her screensaver. Of course, that only works if you have a computer in her room.

Also, have you considered or are you co-sleeping? I don't know how y'all feel about co-sleeping over there. (I'm American.) My dd slept with me most of the time until recently. Now, she sleeps the night in her own bed. Just knowing Mommy is there, may help her sleep through the night.

I hope you find a workable solution soon. ((Hugs))

[Angelmist♥]

Oh Megansmum, you poor thing!I really do feel sorry for you....There is nothing worse than sleep deprivation.

My first son started waking during the night (all night) from about 6 months on and we were told to give him a REALLY solid breakfast, for example thick porridge, farex,weetbix or similiar. I don't know why but it seemed to work for us..I would have thought it would be better later on in the day but it worked, so maybe it's worth a try?

Like someone already asked, will she take BM from a bottle?? Maybe try to express as much as you can (and this will sound nasty) but force feed it to her before she goes to sleep??

Some people might get cranky at this, but have you tried co-sleeping?It was a godsend for us....

Sorry I probably haven't helped much, but I hope things get alot better for you!

[draught]

Can't believe I didn't mention co-sleeping - it is good advice if you can do it. A friend with a son the same age as your daughter was having dreadful problems but now is co-sleeping and not having to feed during the night and they are both sleeping much better. It is a painless solution that is worth a try!

[stormanet]

Heya :) If she is comfort feeding and not hungry, try giving her a little cooled boiled water instead of milk during the night.. she will feel full and will hopefully fall asleep for you again... hope this helps :)... good luck :)

[nemosmum]

Hi Sarah-Jane (by the way I love your name LOL as mine is hyphenated too but I dont use the hyphen version, I got teased as a kid :p )

Any way back to your post :) After reading it I so related to your dilema, However DS changed at about 6 months and started sleeping 10-12 hours a night.

I think your problem is the night waking and not bf as even if you did ff you may still have bub waking several times during the night anyway iykwim :D

I think Happy lady and Rynosmum had some great suggestions on comforting without bf during the night. Coz from what you are saying she doesnt really need those night feeds, if shes eating three solids and bf during the day.

I also agree with Rynosmum about the ff vs bf, I used to think ff would help DS sleep longer but even while bf he started sleeping 10 -12 hours a night so I personally dont think that matters.

Any way good luck :)

Sarah

[Megansmum]

What a fountain of information!!! :cool:

Thank you all for responding to my plea!! It is certainly a wonderful boost. Well DD is having her third nap for the day, just her routine.

The only reason I hadn't considered co-sleeping is because we are on a water bed and the floor is not very appealing, also I like the blankets over my head (my secret). I do agree that it is only comfort feeding. Though breaking that habit is probably better done now rather than later. I was extremely lucky last night that when I got to the point where I couldn't cope any moer DH took over. Gave me time to cool off and then come back to it. (I would be lost without him).

Orlandos mum, I too got teased as a kid with my hyphen but didn't take much notice of it and it just got too confusing filling out forms etc, so just went back to using it after school finished.

Question, when it comes to changing the method of comforting what sort of change over period am I looking at? If that is the right way to word the question. DH is not keen on controlled crying and I tend to agree.

Once again I thankful for your responses.
Sarah-Jane :D

[tickle]

Hi there!
I'm not into controlled crying either. I tried it once and he got so distressed. :(
I think it was only about a week and a bit for O to get out of the routine using other settling techniques. It was only the first couple of nights that he would keep waking up a lot and then after that he hardly woke much at all.

We came into other problems down the track but they seem to be solved now with DS sleeping in our room, in his own cot. ;) This might be a solution for you?? I think he feels more secure in there at night, as he is afraid of the dark.
PM me if you want any further info. ;)

[nemosmum]

Orlandos mum, I too got teased as a kid with my hyphen but didn't take much notice of it and it just got too confusing filling out forms etc, so just went back to using it after school finished.
Sarah-Jane :D

Yeah I use mine for work and official stuff etc but I just hate explaining my name to people as its unusual and a pain , no where near as nice as Sarah-Jane :)

[rynosmum]

With Ry it took about 3-4 days to see a definite change but he was much younger. Still, as HL says, it should be about a week but the key is consistency. The first couple of days may be tough and you may be very tempted to just B/F her as it may seem like the easy option. Hold Back ! If you revert to the old method, it will take much longer and will confuse her. Consistency....

Good Luck ! :D

[OM]

Megansmum I am having the same problem at the moment too but DS is 9 months! I am glad you posted about this topic cause I was just going with the flow getting up numerous times a night to feed DS and being a zombie due to lack of sleep during the day. I am going to try the different types of comforting tonight to see how I go. I hope it all works for you........and me too! :)

[tickle]

The first couple of days may be tough and you may be very tempted to just B/F her as it may seem like the easy option. Hold Back ! If you revert to the old method, it will take much longer and will confuse her.
LOL, I know exactly what you mean. When your soooo tired and want to sleep and you just think oh it can't hurt. Be strong, it will be worth it in the end!! :)

[Megansmum]

Sleep glorious Sleep!!! ;)

Guess what DD slept from 9pm to 2am I comforted her gave her a drink of water and walked the floor for 20 minutes but she went back to sleep and slept to 6am. Yes!!!!

But if it is not one thing it is another....... We had a lot of rain here last night and DH was in and out of the house every two hours checking on water and starting pumps to catch it all. Hmmmmm so I still didn't get much sleep but at least it was relaxed sleep when I did get there.

Thank you all for your suggestions and your support and Oscar's Mum I hope that you also had a good nights sleep!!! I am just glad that I could help someone else as well. Here's to hoping it will continue. :rolleyes:

Sarah-Jane :p

[tickle]

I am so glad that she slept better last night!
They are such smart little cookies and once they realise they aren't going to be fed they will usually just go back to sleep (eventually).
I am so glad it has worked out!!! :)

[nemosmum]

Well done SJ :)

[Alison Sullivan]

JS will soon be one and still survives solely on breastmilk - he just has not taken to solids (his choice of foods is extensive). Sore nipples and sleepless nights are a common complaint and somedays I can scream and cry for just a few hours of undisturbed sleep. I've tried to wean him but being a stay at home mom and always available, he'll scream and cry until he gets a feed or he'll cry himself and walk a few minutes later crying till I give in. We have tried unsuccessfully to give him the bottle. In a few weeks time we intend to try weaning him cold turkey, so ill keep you posted on the progress in the meantime chin up and ;) They do bring us tonnes of love and laughter and this is a small price to pay.

Alison