Advice Needed

[GoneBatty]

Hey guys,

Ds's dad is being a royal pain in the But again (so whats new)

He has started carrying on because im in a new relationship and very happy, so he is jealous now and is threatening with everything possible.... like he will kill himself if i dont leave my new guy and get back with him or he is not going to bring ds back when he has him or he will take full custody of him. and threatening to call welfare on me and spin em a load of ****!!!

Can any1 please help with what to do? i dont wanna be a B***H and take his son off him but at the moment i dont know what else to do.

Its making me so stressed out and i know DS is picking up on this stuff :( hard for him not to when his father threatens to kill himself when he is in the car with him :(

Truth is he has alot of mental issues and i honestly dont think he is stable to have ds very much at all.


ANyway any idea on what i could do would be greatly appreciated thanks.

[ryma]

I would not be letting DS go with him at all!!!!
I think you should go and see a solicitor straight away (you may be eligible for legal aid). I would be trying to let him have supervised visitation only. This man may be mentally unstable and there is no way you should put your child at risk.

[carly29]

I have been in the same boat as you with my first son, His father was an absolute pig! treat him ith the contempt he deserves, See a solicitor asap and start getting some sort of visitation order in place.
You have the right to a life and tough luck for him but he isnt part of your life, he is a part of yur sons!

you need to start keeping a diary of eberything that is said to you by him, ie phone calls harrasment etc, as this is all handy information when you see a solicitor

[HayleysMummy06]

im so sorry that this is happening to you. I have not been in the situation with my partner doing this but i have been in a situation where someone has told a whole lot of bull s*** to child welfare. Anyway they came to me and told me why they were at my house and asked to check out all the things that had been told. They asked to see my daughter and said that she looked well looked after and that they could see that everything was just a load of ****. Get this i still dont know who this horriable person was that tried to take my daughter away from me but when i find out its not gonna be pretty. lol They told welfare that we didnt have a washing machine which in fact we do, that she sleeps in filth which is wrong her sheets are washed every 2 days, that the dog and cat wee and poo inside and that she stands in it, the dog and cat are NOT allowed inside. They thourghly checked over my house and found nothing that was of interest and said that my daughter looked happy and healthy where she was and that was it. As long as you can prove that your son is happy and healthy which im sure he is there will not be a problem, aslong as he has a bed to sleep in thats clean and everything is clean u will be fine.

[princessarra]

My ex used to do the same to me...... he was very happy while i was single after i left him but as soon as i became engaged and pregnant with mr 4 he became very nasty and jelous. With his new partners backing and resources he would stalk me and and also employ others e.g PIs to stalk me as well. I could not do a thing about it as i had no direct evidence it was him nor did i had any direct evidence that he was employing people to do his dirty work for him (even though everyone in the street i was living at the time saw what was going on and was getting upset about it) After a nasty incident out side my home with a house load of kids (DP got ****ed off and went out there to confront a car that had been parked out the front of our house for 3 hours with 2 occupants that were little more than children in it) i had a rego number and still the cops refused to act. I was given the oppertunity to dob him into the cops for having 8kgs of cannabis sitting in his laundry boxed and ready for sale. I took up this oppertunity with the desired effects of him leaving me the hell alone. p.s he got a 4 thousand dollar fine and a 18 month suspended sentence. which mummy promptly paid for him.

[princessarra]

im so sorry that this is happening to you. I have not been in the situation with my partner doing this but i have been in a situation where someone has told a whole lot of bull s*** to child welfare. Anyway they came to me and told me why they were at my house and asked to check out all the things that had been told. They asked to see my daughter and said that she looked well looked after and that they could see that everything was just a load of ****. Get this i still dont know who this horriable person was that tried to take my daughter away from me but when i find out its not gonna be pretty. lol They told welfare that we didnt have a washing machine which in fact we do, that she sleeps in filth which is wrong her sheets are washed every 2 days, that the dog and cat wee and poo inside and that she stands in it, the dog and cat are NOT allowed inside. They thourghly checked over my house and found nothing that was of interest and said that my daughter looked happy and healthy where she was and that was it. As long as you can prove that your son is happy and healthy which im sure he is there will not be a problem, aslong as he has a bed to sleep in thats clean and everything is clean u will be fine.What wankers....... that's outragous. The last time i looked it's NOT a child protection offence to not have a washing machine, just as long as the washing is being done e.g laundry matt, freinds house ect then it's ok. It's NOT a child protection offence to have your dog and cat inside just as long as they dont **** and **** everywhere. When you catch up with this low life **** head who dobbed you in give him/her a good knee to the cogglies for me won't you

[JesLiz]

the ones that talk bout doing those things are the one that do it to make ppl feel guilty...
what matters most is that your DS is safe and happy and you are happy stiff poo to DS's father:D

[Trumpet]

I am sorry you are going through this and I had a boyfriend like this too but fortunately no children to him.

Now I do not recommend you do this as I do not know his state of mind but when mine said he was going to kill himself if I didn't go back it really upset me as I and he knew how scared I was of people dying.

But a very close friend that I had told she said that it was only for attention and to make me feel guilty so she told me that next time to say "ok if that's what you want to do, just don't make a mess for me to clean up!" He never did it again.......

No one will take your kids off you even if they tell stories as Welfare will check and see that everything is fine. I also agree that you should write everything down and get a solicitor and stop his visitation based on his state of mind and the safety of your child.

[SorenLorensen]

sorry this is happening to you :hugs:
i dont really have any advice as to how to stop it but i would try somehow to get him to write you a msg or something saying he is going to make up stuff to tell docs and keep it, never tell him you have it, but just keep it so you have that to back you up if he does something

[princessarra]

Flick you can't use that in an investigation...... it's heresay. You can't even produce charachter references. It's bul**** from where i stand. I don't think she has anything to worry about. Normaly soon as welfare cotton on to the fact it's a family issue they back out pretty quickly as it's normaly seen as a family court matter not a welfare matter. Having said that if they got serveral different reports, very close togeather then it may make them ***** their ears up. Do agree though you should get a family court order or parenting plan made up.

[GoneBatty]

Hey guys.

Thanks for all ur replies.

i will be organizing to see someone to get everything sorted out this week

:)