View Full Version : so over it!!!
bearsmummy
21-02-2007, 17:10
Im am so so sick and tired of peoples negative views on large families! :mad:
It is my choice to want 4 children not theirs so why does it bug them so? Some of these people arent even close friends so i wouldnt even say they were worried about my wellbeing- just being plain old nosy!
My husband earns good money and yes we have been through some hard times but why does that give people the right to put me down and try destroy my hopes and dreams of a large family, things are better for us now and anyways..... its none of their business!!! (what would they know about my private life??)
Im sick of people asking me how we can afford it, how i cope etc etc
Its my life not theirs...so why carry on so? If they dont like large families then thats cool, dont have one.... but dont bag me!
Ok vent over... sorry but had to just let that out...
Aaaahhhhh that feels much better :D
Anyone else get this from other sticky beaks???
Not yet, but i'm sure i will! Mum and dad know we want to have 4, we'll see how we go with 2 first, but it's always been my dream to have 4 kids.
I say good on you hun and :thumbsdown: to anyone that thinks that they have a right to concern themselves with how many children you want to have!
:hugs: :hugs: like you said hun its none of their buisness, just ignore them they dont know what is best for you or your family
jealousy springs to mind! they are jealous they cant cope with so many kids, or afford them (or the ones they have)
when people ask you how do you cope, take it as a compliment.
BlakeNatsMum
21-02-2007, 17:31
I think its up to the individual couple to decide how many children they would like!.. I don't think it's anyone else's business to put in their negative views or opinions! As long as the children are loved and cared for, why should anyone have a problem with that?
I say you both do what you want to do, and don't listen to the negative comments that you may receive. Most of the times it is about them, and their views!..
Tell them to knick off I say!...
bearsmummy
21-02-2007, 17:51
Not yet, but i'm sure i will! Mum and dad know we want to have 4, we'll see how we go with 2 first, but it's always been my dream to have 4 kids.
I say good on you hun and :thumbsdown to anyone that thinks that they have a right to concern themselves with how many children you want to have!
Thanks babe... it will be you too one day! :D Cant wait till you have some news of a new bubba on the way one day, got to fill that house of yours that your building!!!
:hugs: like you said hun its none of their buisness, just ignore them they dont know what is best for you or your family
Thanks Niki *hugs*... im trying hard to ignore them.. but sometimes they are so full on and "in my face".
Ill just have to take a deep breath and count to 10 lol!
jealousy springs to mind! they are jealous they cant cope with so many kids, or afford them (or the ones they have)
when people ask you how do you cope, take it as a compliment.
Yeah i would be surprised if a few of them are jealous. thanks for your advice, im going to try take it as a compliment :)
I think its up to the individual couple to decide how many children they would like!.. I don't think it's anyone else bsuiness to put in their negative views or opinions! As long as the children are loved and cared for, why should anyone have a problem with that?
I say you both do what you want to do, and don't listen to the negative comments that you may receive. Most of the times it is about them, and their views!..
Tell them to knick off I say!...
Yeah thats what i dont understand with these people.. dont they get its MY life and not theirs?? By the sounds of the way some of them carry on, they need to get a blimmin life LOL!
Like i said B4 yes we have had problems in the past (which couple doesnt every now and then...) but its all over with and its not up to them to decide if we are to have another baby or not!
Id tell them worse than to nick off if i could LOL :p
Thanks for your encouraging words ladies
Mel xoxoxoxo
mum2bubba
21-02-2007, 20:27
:hugs: for you,
I get this a bit and I only have ONE kid (and another on the way) so I can only imagine what ppl would say if I had 4 or 5 etc kids. When my sister found out I was pregant with this baby the first thing she said was "have you got a job?" no "congratulations" or anything, she is happy for us don't get me wrong but its coments like this that get me mad.
Just keep your head up high and know that your'e a good mum, if your kids are happy and healthy, you aren't abusing or neglecting them, they have the basics in life (food, shelter, clothes, bed and a few toys) then you're doing a great job.
Just tell everyone else to bugger off and keep telling yourself that you are doing the best job you know how.
catalicious
21-02-2007, 20:32
I can see where you are coming from, but I would just try really hard not to pay any attention to them...I think they might have a little jelousy going on because maybe you can kep you kids in line a bit easier so you know you could cope with 4 where others struggle big time with 1.I want a big family but there is still alot of work to do to fix up the one I have before I go bringing more kids into the world...Im glad you are at a stage where you know tou could make it work..
:hugs: Babe, IGNORE "her"!!!
It is your choice and "she" is not worth your time or effort!
You and B are great LOVING parents, so why the hell wouldn't you want more???:confused:
I am happy to be Aunty Row to 15 kids if thats how many you want....:laughing:
IGNORE ignore ignore....thats all I can say.....:o
I get this all the time. I have just had my 4th baby and when i walk past people sometimes, they do a head count! Some people have no clue about anything so i wouldnt stress too much.
I had an older lady the other day at the shop say to me "well now i hope you know what causes it" WTF?????? I just said to her "yeah, lots of sex but hubby and i just can not seem to stop":laughing:. Her facewas a real mastercard moment-priceless.
Sarcasm always works for me- try it:p
jess_live_die
21-02-2007, 20:46
:hugs::hugs: hun ur boys are beautiful so dont worry what they say it better to have a large family then none at all. kids are better then the most money in the world. :thumbsup: to u and ur hubby ur boys are so cute.
Awww Mel honey....just had to post to you!!
POO POO to whomever is being not nice to you......you know I want one more bubba and I still get **** (mainly from MY family:thumbsdown: )
You are a great Mum and anyone here would agree.......go for the fourth....'crazy Aunty Tash' needs a good reason to come to Perth...LOL (well apart from seeing you and B:laughing: )
Better still, let's try and get preggers at the same time again and maybe I'll get twins, so we can both be parents of four children!!:laughing: :laughing:
Love you hun!!!
damien's mum
22-02-2007, 11:48
OMG Mel...
You are NOT the type of person to sit back and take people's cr@p, so why are you now? They don't care about letting you know how they feel about the life YOU are making, so why don't give them some of their own back.
The most important thing is, that you and B are great parents, love your children and they are healthy and happy, which they all are.. You have been through some stuff as a parent, that most of us wish to never go through, and you still have made it through and have the happiest kids i know.. So don't let people get you down babe.. As far having problems with B and posting about them, GOOD ON YOU for having the guts to get it out and in the open, and not worry about what people are thinking. The people that are saying things, probably have the same problems and are worried about what other's will think, so don't worry about it hun! You are a fantastic person, a loyal friend, wonderful mother and a great partner to B, bugga these people babe! You are great!!! Love you lots... xxxxxxxxxxxx :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
sam's mum
22-02-2007, 12:15
I don't even think that four is large....
I have 2 step daughters and my ds is 3 and we are ttc#2, and i get comments on how we will cope and because ds is autistic everyone seems to be in a panic about how he will behave and whether he will still get the same care and if it will effect him. i am so sick of it all, for gods sake we have a right to get on with our life whether we have a child with a dissability or not. our ds will be loved just the same and he will have a playmate :yes:
Im am so so sick and tired of peoples negative views on large families! :mad:
It is my choice to want 4 children not theirs so why does it bug them so? Some of these people arent even close friends so i wouldnt even say they were worried about my wellbeing- just being plain old nosy!
My husband earns good money and yes we have been through some hard times but why does that give people the right to put me down and try destroy my hopes and dreams of a large family, things are better for us now and anyways..... its none of their business!!! (what would they know about my private life??)
Im sick of people asking me how we can afford it, how i cope etc etc
Its my life not theirs...so why carry on so? If they dont like large families then thats cool, dont have one.... but dont bag me!
Ok vent over... sorry but had to just let that out...
Aaaahhhhh that feels much better :D
Anyone else get this from other sticky beaks???
I know exacticly what you mean I got a negative response for conceiving my 3rd. Some ppl were like "wow Im so excited for you" and other ppl were like ohh wow so soon. I have a 5 and a 4 year old mind you. Like fair enough you dont want to have a large family but atleast you can be happy for me coz thats what I want. And then when ppl ask me are you going to have anymore I say yeah maybe 1 or 2 and ppl say your crazy 5 kids. "shut up" my DH is 1 of 6 children and Im the oldest of 3 by 13 years so I didnt have siblings really. I hope you have as many children as your heart desires and dont feel the need to justify yourself to anyone :hugs:
blackdog
22-02-2007, 13:19
Awww...sounds like someone specific is being mean to you, and that is not fun. But here's what I think. (because you so care what I think ;) )
Maybe people really do want to know how you cope? I have noticed that, as a terrible generalisation, people who have a large number of kids (and, yeah, once upon a time 4 was not considered large) also come from a family with alot of kids themselves, so they have experience. I only have two kids, and I was one of two, so I have never seen how a 'large' family works first hand. I know how stressed and tired and frustrated I get with two, so I can't even imagine having four! Or six! or eight! (the lady over the back from us when I was little had 11) Do you know what I mean?
There was a mum at our kindy last year, and she had four kids under five. She had twins who were four, a Two year old and a new baby. One day I did ask her how she managed. She said to me, "My mum and husband help alot, and if I have all four of them by myself, I just don't leave the house." I don't think she was offended; maybe she could tell I wasn't being judgemental, just wanted to know.
I don't think it's a bad thing to acknowldedge parenting is a difficult task. When someone next says, "How do you manage?" You could say, "coz I'm bl**dy good!"
I say good on anyone who can cope with more than 2 :yelclap: ......Not me and in my moments I think to myself what I would be like with more than my two and I cringe and I look up to others that can do it with ease. My only comment is "I don't know how you do it".
If someone is being nasty and saying things like that just come out with "but we are aiming for a football team" (sorry I like to rub it in). If anything you both wanting to have more children shows that your relationship is over the past rocky patch and reaffirming your love for each other and your family.
:p to them....:hugs: to you
here_we_go
23-02-2007, 09:50
???
mummymason
24-02-2007, 14:37
Mel honey you are a fantastic, kind, caring and loving person and the more kids with you as a mother the better! :thumbsup:
I think that large families are wonderful as are smaller ones and you know that it all comes down to what you want, NO ONE ELSES.
You don't need that and know that there are so many true friends that love and care for you and support you through everything and that is all that matters.
Oh yeah and please let me know if you and Blake would like to add any more children coz I am happy to give mine for free. :D
Lots of love and hugs to you, an amazing and inspirational mother and friend :hugs:
little mermaid
25-02-2007, 16:30
jealousy springs to mind! they are jealous they cant cope with so many kids, or afford them (or the ones they have)
when people ask you how do you cope, take it as a compliment.
I think you have hit the nail right on the head there, just cos they cant even cope with one or two kids they have doesnt mean that other people cant either. Good on you for doing what you want, i say stuff em all and tell them to get a life!!!!:yelclap:
i think its great to have a big family!! if we could afford it i woud have at least 4 kids. big families are great! :smiliedance:
We want 6. My Mum knows, she's not surprised, I've always wanted lots of kids. My Dad's trying to convince me that 3 is plenty and I should spend the rest of my life paying childcare bills for 3 under 3 while I struggle to pay the mortgage on a house with rediculously high repayments. (we have NO interest in buying a house just yet.. We love the freedom of renting, to move around, and see the country.. blah blah blah)
It's your choice how many children you want. I can't think of anything better than having a large family. Don't let this person get to you... they'll be the old and lonely one while you're surrounded by 4 gorgeous kids and lots of grandchildren :yes:
You go, girl !
I've come a while back to the conclusion that there's a fair bit of envy in there, like others have said.
I got a population lecture for having my third from a colleague - I wonder what she'd say about my little F !
My 6 kids (11 - 14mths) are bright and well-behaved at school, reasonably well-behaved and helpful at home, they have manners and go off and enteretain themselves for hours. But most of all, they have parents who care for them and who are pretty experienced.
I reckon it's a good idea for good parents to keep having as many kids as they like !
Keep up the good work !
Elmopalooza
28-02-2007, 17:12
Anyone else get this from other sticky beaks???
YEP! I too have encountered the odd 'sticky beak'! Its not a nice feeling to have someone put you down just because you actually know what you want out of life! And hey, if a big family is a part of your dream, then i say go for it!
Ignore the people that criticise you. They are just plain out jealous and obviously not happy with their own lives so are trying to make yours miserable too!
You guys deserve to be happy, so follow your heart! :hugs:
damien's mum
28-02-2007, 20:27
I think you have hit the nail right on the head there, just cos they cant even cope with one or two kids they have doesnt mean that other people cant either. Good on you for doing what you want, i say stuff em all and tell them to get a life!!!!:yelclap:
:yelclap:
When someone next says, "How do you manage?" You could say, "coz I'm bl**dy good!"
OMG, my coffee just went all over the screen, Im bagging that one, if ok, what a great comeback!!
I get it all the time, and it annoys me no end, but I think Im used to it now, and it doesnt upset me quite as much as it used to.
We will be going for another after this one, probably end of next year, and Im already dreading what people will say to that, like you know, its anyones business, I even had someone tell me today, Im a glutton for punishment, why, I ask, is it soooo wrong to want to have the best old age with all your family around you????????
spiritedfamily
01-03-2007, 17:07
I know the feeling:rolleyes:
When I had ds who was number 3...people would say..you've got your girls and now you've got your boy, you can stop now right!!! This used to be very hurtful...as it was always the topic of conversation with a certain group of people. I've found I have the most negativity from my eldest dd's classmates parents. I bumped into two the other night with my big bump and they said 'hi I didn't know you were pregnant....so are you stopping after this one'. they weren't offering a compliment, they were rude. Yet I do meet people who are genuinely nice and polite.
These days I don't have much time for nosy rude Mum's.
You are equally entitled to your green turf filled with 4 kids as the neighbour and her turf with 2 kids.
When we tell people we plan on 4-6 kids you should see and hear all the :eek: and :ecomcity: we get! We only have 1 so far and are already copping it!
So yeah I do sort of know what it's like, something like: :banghead: perhaps?
I'm happy with my family plans, their thoughts are no concern to me!
:hugs:
I have 3 and ppl think that is crazy. We want to have more and ppl just don't get it - and I don't expect them to either.
Just do what you want to do and don't worry. :hugs:
People are just narrow minded, they think that because they couldn't cope with x amount of children that no one else can either, they should learn to keep their mouths shut :(
I get rude comments from people all the time, "haven't you figured out what causes them yet"?, "don't you own a television"?, "don't you know what birth control is"? etc etc I usually say "no, I don't actually, would you be so kind as to explain it to me"?:laughing:
BTW I still heven't figured out what owning a telivision has to do with me and my DH having sex :no:
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.1.9 Copyright © 2013 vBulletin Solutions, Inc. All rights reserved.