The power (and peril) of praising your kids - New York Magazine

[zenifa]

My DH found this article and I was interested to see what other people thought about this.

http://www.printthis.clickability.com/pt/cpt?action=cpt&title=The+Power+%28and+Peril%29+of+Praising+Your+K ids+--+New+York+Magazine&expire=&urlID=21157633&fb=Y&url=http%3A%2F%2Fnymag.com%2Fnews%2Ffeatures%2F278 40%2F&partnerID=73272

[motherhoodlmb]

Great, great article. I subscribe to Michael Grose's weekly newsletter and he often says the same thing - praise their effort, don't just say "great picture", tell them what's great about it ("oh look, you've added windows to the car this time, good thinking"). It can sound a bit contrived but gee it works. My 5 year old gets great satisfaction from this method. It builds confidence and resilience.

[Honeydoll]

That was a very insightful article! And does have a point.

Indeed it's important to give praise where it's due. But it is a real good idea to praise the effort--acknowledging them for their hard work. :thumbsup:

No harm in giving this form of praising a try.

After reading this article, I remember this speech a guest speaker gave when my high school held a "Career Week".

He talked about the common saying of the top 3 universities in my country to their students:

Students at uni # 1 always hear "We don't care what you do."
Uni # 2 "You're the best."
Uni # 3 "You're no good."

The effects on students of uni #1 is that they have a sense of accountability. Whether the student studies or not, attends classes or not, passes or fails, rich or poor--"we don't care." After all "Your life is what you make of it."

The effects on the students from uni #2, after graduating, they realize that there's more to life outside the fences of their university and realize that there are people, even from unpopular schools, who are better than they are.

And finally, from uni #3, most of the students he has encountered seemed to go for challenges. It's like trying to prove "You're wrong! I'm good for something."

Although, I don't totally buy his "sermon" as I also know people from Uni #3 and they're nothing like the students he was talking about. :laughing: True students from their school always get taunted by other schools that they're not smart--they're too rich to care what others have to say because "I don't have to be intelligent or make any efforts because I'll be taking over the family business nevertheless."

Sorry, I think I veered off the topic there. Anyway, I think this is a good article. Thank you very much for sharing it with us!