do i have a problem?

[meme]

i have started to drink more than i normally would. dp enjoyed a beer (several, in fact several, i sometimes thought he drank a little too much) and i guess i feel a little closer to him when i have a drink. i cant deny that i also enjoy the feeling of the edges rubbed off the world, i feel 'funner' and don't care so much about the cr@p stuff.

i used to only have 1-2 drinks and figured this was fine on occasion, especially as i still bfd dd. i do wait until night so it will have time to leave my body.

now though i want to drink more, 1 drink does nothing to blur the edges, every night i seem to want it.

i feel like it is the only way i can cope.

i have none here and am seriously considering a pub run:o

well i do sound like an alco! from this post.

i do have an addictive personality, but i thibk i am self aware enough to not get out of control. (sounfs even more like what an alcie would say doesnr it)

i have also been craving cigareetes despite being a decidedly anti smolinhg ex smoker for years now.

sorry anout the typos am not drunk! its dark and only have one finger free

[*Chels*]

Oh hun,youve had so much to deal with lately.
I think its fine to have a few drinks,but dont use it to numb the pain IYKWIM.
If you think you are developing a bad habit,nip it in the bud ASAP.Your babies need you.
:hugs: :hugs:

[Mummaof2]

Meme you poor darling sending plenty of comforting :hugs: your way.

At the present time i dont think you have an addiction considering what you have been through. I see it more as a comfort thing. But in saying that drinking to feel closer to your DP could turn into an addiction.

Have you seen a counsellor to talk about how you are feeling and dealing with the loss of your DP. Maybe this will help you in some way.

Remember that your Bub Hub family are always hear for you no matter what.:hugs:

[Becteria]

sometimes a rdrink has helped me cope with loss grief and life in general. you sound like you have it so together, you know your limits. dont begrudge yourself a little outlet. :hugs: :hugs:

[whatwasithinking]

Meme you poor darling sending plenty of comforting :hugs: your way.

At the present time i dont think you have an addiction considering what you have been through. I see it more as a comfort thing. But in saying that drinking to feel closer to your DP could turn into an addiction.

Have you seen a counsellor to talk about how you are feeling and dealing with the loss of your DP. Maybe this will help you in some way.

Remember that your Bub Hub family are always hear for you no matter what.:hugs:

This is exactly and all what I was going to say.

Hugs and thoughts with you Meme.

:hugs:

[meme]

At the present time i dont think you have an addiction considering what you have been through. I see it more as a comfort thing. But in saying that drinking to feel closer to your DP could turn into an addiction.

yes, this is what i thibk.

yes i do need to find a counsellor.

thankyou my bubhubfamuly:hugs:

jopefully lo will b asleep soon and i can nurture my less dangerous addiction to bubhub instead of driving to the pub!

[damien's mum]

Oh hun,youve had so much to deal with lately.
I think its fine to have a few drinks,but dont use it to numb the pain IYKWIM.
If you think you are developing a bad habit,nip it in the bud ASAP.Your babies need you.
:hugs: :hugs:

Totally agree! :hugs:

[whatwasithinking]

jopefully lo will b asleep soon and i can nurture my less dangerous addiction to bubhub instead of driving to the pub!
That would probably be a better idea than driving to the pub. :thumbsup:

Go into chatlive when B is asleep and there will be people there wanting a chat I promise.

[SassyDiva]

Hey there,

Well I dont know what you've had to deal with of late but just wanna say hang in there.

I think we are all creatures of habit, and when you get caught in a rut you can sometimes do ur ritual (or routine) without really thinking about it.. then B4 long you feel you need it.

Your stronger than that, cause you see it, are aware of it so will control it.

[draught]

Meme - just keep talking to us, see a counsellor and don't be too hard on yourself. We are all here for you.

[misskittyfantastico]

Hi Meme!

A few drinks is cool, dulling pain, rather than dealing, is the issew. We're always here...I thought of you today. Millie made me feel so frustrated I wanted to ..ya know.

[natasha]

Meme, you do what you need to get you through this difficult time.
From the sounds of it, your'e just using drink for comfort , you said you feel closer to him when you drink. Is there anything else you can do that makes you feel closer to him? A special place you used to go together?

I know it numbs the pain to drink (your speaking to a girl with a drink problem here), and it feels nice to just slip into a state of peace and numbess, but think of other things you can do, break the cycle of when you are drinking. Instead of drinking, go to bed, read a book, go through your photo album and remember all the good times you both shared together, crawl into bed with your littlies and give them a cuddle.

You have to fight it, and I can't imagine how hard it must be to lose someone so special to you, but keep fighting on, every day will be a battle for a while, but it will get easier, I promise.

I have such admiration for you hun:hugs:

We'r always here for you.:hugs:

[Issey]

Hi Meme :wave: :hugs:

I think a couple of glasses of wine or whatever numbs our stesses a bit & does give a bit of comfort. Umm I just drank two but they are low alcohol wine (Brown Brothers Moscato).

Like the others said don't be hard on yourself, you are a great person and mum.

You have had to deal with so much and such a huge shock.

I guess the important thing is not to develop a pattern or habit and find other things that can occupy you when you feel the need for some support.

:hugs:

[meme]

thankyou.

i am sitting here, inebriated again. but after posting this i did have a week off the booze. i needed to. and now i feel like i have more of a handle on it. yes i am using it as a crutch to help me deal wiht it and yes it is dulling it wchich may not be a good thing in the long run.

but i am meeting my responsibilities and i know that i always will and that while i have the urge to just write myself off i will not while i have kids to take to ballet and feed and organise and play with ...etc...etc...;

you are all such a huge help and comfort. it is right there is a fine line. i am treading it. i hopw that i can use this crutch for comfort and support without it becoming a problem for me in the long ter,m.

thanks.:hugs:

[*Chels*]

I just cannot imagine how you are feeling.
My DF works sooo much and then works night shift so 3-4 nights a week I am alone.
It is so hard.I have a few wines while Im sitting here alone.
I dont even know what to say-I can understand where you are coming from-its hard being alone:crying: