Pain in the****!

[wontdance]

:mad: Hi everyone! I am writing this as I am so annoyed with my fil, and am starting to get annoyed with my dh.

I posted before how my fil doesnt want me to study etc, my husbands study might get "interrupted or disturbed", but it gets better folks, my dh went over on my son's b/day to pick up his present (fil couldnt be bothered to see his grandson on his b/day). He comes home and tells me that fil has told him that I and dd shouldnt be going away for 3 days (mother daughter time) as we shouldnt be spending our money and who is going to look after the boys (2 sons, during holidays)? And that he didnt want to talk to him about his teaching degree dh is doing at our house because he didnt want to hear his wife's opinion!!!!!!:banghead: Dh told him it was none of his business etc. He rings next day and says to dh that he wont talk to him about anything to do with wife etc and dh said thank you and hung up.

Now my problem is - I dont want to see him anymore/talk to him for at least 6 months because I am really p*d off! This is not an isolated incident - it is the latest in a long line of things since we were engaged, 11 years married this year.
My other problem comes with dh, his whole family are a manipulative bunch, and he usually gives in although lately he has improved. Then this morning he went outside(note he thought I wouldnt know) and rang his father up. Boy was I annoyed and dh knows I am but doesnt realise how angry I am about this, I have told him though.
Any suggestions?

wontdance

[Nan]

Hi.
The way I see it you kind of asnwered your own question! :yes: You say DH doesn't know how angry you are about this. My suggestion would be to tell him exactly how angry you are so he knows the magnitude of the situation. He won't react how you want him to if he doesn't know how bad it is.
Just a thought........

[she_rambles]

I don't really have any suggestions ... it sounds like your in-laws are manipulative, and I know it must be really tempting to just go off at your husband about it (I have a massive, crazy temper and I just tend to lash out when I lose it). But for the sake of your kids and your marriage, I'd try and have a calm (as calm as you can make it when you're as angry as you obviously are!) conversation about, explaining how you feel. Don't try and get between him and his father, because you can't predict how it's going to end.

I'm a single mum, and at first I was really devastated (my fiance ****ed off on me without a word when I was seven months pregnant ... just disappeared and I didn't hear from him again) ... but some of the stories I've been hearing about meddling in laws and all the drama that goes with, I think I'm ultimately kind of relieved!

[Chickadee]

Now my problem is - I dont want to see him anymore/talk to him for at least 6 months because I am really p*d off! This is not an isolated incident - it is the latest in a long line of things since we were engaged, 11 years married this year.
My other problem comes with dh, his whole family are a manipulative bunch, and he usually gives in although lately he has improved. Then this morning he went outside(note he thought I wouldnt know) and rang his father up. Boy was I annoyed and dh knows I am but doesnt realise how angry I am about this, I have told him though.

Fair enough that you want nothing to do with your FIL. But I'm not sure it's fair to expect your partner to cut off all ties and communication with his family. He should definitely stand up for you and support you, but to cut off ties is pretty hard.

[mum33]

Fair enough that you want nothing to do with your FIL. But I'm not sure it's fair to expect your partner to cut off all ties and communication with his family. He should definitely stand up for you and support you, but to cut off ties is pretty hard.

i dunno...sometimes its a last resort when nothing else works... sometimes its something you have to do... i did this, with both mine and DP's family. i wont go into details why but things were bad enough where i felt i had to do it to get my point across. now both families respect me alot more because of it...although still pains in the a***s...

[Lastcenturymum]

Your FIL is a different generation by the sound of it (you know, keep em bare foot and pregnant mentality...) that is HIS opinion and shouldn't have any bearing on your life.

But your bloke needs a pair of scissors to cut the umbilical chord from his family...biblically it goes "a man shall leave his mother and a wife shall leave her home"...time he put it into practice...


Try and ignore your FIL's opinions, its YOUR life and you are trying to improve it it (with study). Oh and I had a weekend away with each of my daughters (and dad with sons) just before puberty to spend time talking about the approaching peer pressure and changes etc. Nothing can replace that special time together.

Feel for you, hang in there:hugs:

[EskimoMumma]

I have no suggestionsd but what you told us is like looking into the future for me...

:hugs: Manuplitaive inlaws are bad..so bad and i hope you are able to stand your ground..

[Lochlansmummy]

I hope that you have the strength to get through as your family will be around for a long time and 11 years is already a long time.
Is your fil of a different race or religion to you? Has he always had problems with you? Or has it just started as a result of your studies??
You go girl study and make something of yourself, look after yourself and your family and I hope that your fil will be able to see how much you do..
Good luck:hugs: