Input from Family

[Seekrit]

How do you deal with this?

Husband's favourite name is Coby Danger (No, not kidding.... :rolleyes: ). I love Coby and I figure that no one uses my middle name unless I'm in trouble (and besides, he can always use something else on his resume or if he becomes a lawyer or doctor like everyone else tells me he'll become). ANYWAY.
My dad's middle name is James, his dad's middle name is Clarence and my brother's middle name is James. My Great Grandad's first name was Clarence as well.

I let dad know the name we were thinking of using.. if we weren't to use Danger we'd probably use John (husband and his father's middle names) my dad immediately asked me to remember the traditional names in our family, James and Clarence.
I'm not too fond of Clarence at all, and James is a nice middle name, but I'm more inclined to let the boys follow the boys (ie: Name tradition follow through from the in-laws side with the boys, and my side with the girls)

I just made the offhand comment that my son's name would then be Coby John James Clarence Danger Mensforth if I was to do that, and left it at that.

What do you do when things like that come up? Should I just not say anything until after the baby's name has been scribbled down on the birth certificate, should I entertain dad and have a few names tossed up using James and Clarence but then end up picking the one we want.

I know I still have, like, 7.5 months to name the kid.. and that's IF it's a boy! But I'm just interested in if others have been through this, where their family wanted them to follow tradition but they didn't, how they dealt with it and how it ended up.

[MariaO]

Hi Seekrit,

In my opinion, the only people who get a vote in naming baba are you and your hubby. You can always say that you are starting a new family tradition. I am sure that your family at the end of the day are just going to be so thrilled with the newest member that that is all that will matter.

[BubbleBelly]

I think the choice is up to you and your partner!!! As much as tradition is nice everyone has to realise that not everyone can have it their way. Choose the name you and your partner love... the people that really care about you will understand and if they don't put it down to them being selfish.

As a pregnant woman there are so many other things going through your mind, fears, questions, expectations etc the last thing you need is everyone stressing you out about a middle name.

Hope this makes sense

[Foxy]

Seekrit, this is just the start of family input :eek: Sometimes it can be very helpful, while other times it just makes life more confusing.

I do think that middle names matter, especially at school and we do use them as adults from time to time.

Anyway, to make everyone happy we used my maiden name as the middle name. We thought this was a good compromise as DS had I both have DH's last name and it is nice to have something from both sides.

Stick to the names you and DH are both comfortable with.

Good Luck!

[tickle]

We had the same idea with middle names, if it were a boy, use one from DH side and a girl from mine. And then if you had 2 boys the next boy would come from mine. Hmmm getting very confusing now. LOL
Do what you guys want to do. Families usually get over this stuff. Good luck for all the future advise!LOL :rolleyes:

[Me]

sorry to break the news to you, but if you think families are bad then don't get your friends involved! We have had people constantly bugging us for names and at 3 weeks out from our due date we are still telling people "we haven't really talked about names yet... we're going to wait til after the birth to decide". Although as time gets closer people are starting not to believe us - you'd think they would get the idea not to ask anymore. I've had people telling me what names i should be using and when i try to dodge the subject they tell me that they are trying to be helpful because we haven't talked about it. For the few people that we are really very close to then we just tell them that we've decided but not telling anyone and they all understand... that's my best advise to you. good luck to you with deciding on a name, and don't let anyone else tell you what you should or shouldn't be doing

[Seekrit]

I hate it when you say a name to a friend and they curl their nose up and go "I don't like it"
One of my co-workers is great for doing this.

[xkwzit]

I agree with JRMummy - just don't tell ppl until he's born. I figure you'll only get to name a very few ppl in your lifetime, so it's really a decision for your DH and you ONLY. I'm fanatical about names and we protected our right to name our children as we saw fit. DH and I made the choice with no input from anyone else and we told no one before they were born.

The price is just too high, at the very best they'll say "nice" (some small validation for your choice), at the worst you have ppl being rude and sarcastic about your baby's name (very negative for you to deal with during all the other pg madness :mad: ) . If you wait to tell, most ppl won't be negative because it's (somehow) considered to be more rude to be negative after baby is named (I don't know why - but that's the way it is :confused: ). Maybe ppl think that its too late to change your mind so they don't bother.

In a way, you've already invited your family's input, so now you have to stick by your guns and ignore their advice - or cave. I personally would be bugged FOREVER if I caved on an issue as important to me as the name of my child - but that's JMO :) .

Cheers

[Bronwyn]

Hi All

We had lots of disagreements about middle names. DH wanted his dads name (if it was a boy) but I thought that was unfair to my dad and we didn't want to use either of our mums names, we disagreed for months.

Then we finally agreed that our parents picked our names and obviously liked them so we decided to use our own name for the middle name.

So we have Nicole Bronwyn, nice little legacy for our baby girl to carry with her. For a boy we had picked out Ryan Brendan.

It certainly saved the fights and kept both families on side and offended no one.

Its such an important thing, naming children. You have to be truly happy to be calling this person and writing their name on every birthday, christmas and special occasion card but when you pick the one that you go with you know that it is right.

[cobysmummy]

i love the name Coby James!! lol... thats my sons name... it really suits little boys i think!!

good luck with bringing hubby around to a name!!

James was a traditional name in my partners side!

[Jaileth]

Oue big issue at the moment is weather or not our bub will have a middle name, as on dh's side, both him and his dad don't have one (I'm unsure about his mum)

But the looks you get when you say he doesn't have a middle name - no one believe's you! :rolleyes:

Name your child what you want to - it should be up to you and your dh. You can take into account what your family's wishes if you want, but remember that you and your hubby are the ones that are going to be the ones calling out or talking to the child the most often! :)

[annsam]

We didn't discuss names iwth family. We did with friends but I know our families would want input so we made up a rediculous one and told them that was going to be his name. :D

[Pixie]

I say only you and your husband choose, your child your name choice.

My whole family have turned their noses up at our choice, so have friends. It's their issue not yours!!

[Percy]

My son Jake has two middle names..... Robert(after my dad) and Edward (after hubbys dad). Ive found though that only robert is acknowledged on things like medicare and health care cards, which doesnt bother me and it has kept both grandpas happy.
Although both grandmas have already said that if the next one is a girl, they dont want her named after them!! phew! not too keen on their names!

but like everyone has said, its your decision so stick to what feels right to you!

[Seekrit]

i love the name Coby James!! lol... thats my sons name... it really suits little boys i think!!

good luck with bringing hubby around to a name!!

James was a traditional name in my partners side!
:D It's a great name, but I don't want to bring Husband around to it! He's quite intent on Danger being the middle name. I'd prefer Coby John to Coby James - if naming soley based on tradition :)

Thanks for all your input :D I know Chris and I will name the kiddle whatever we want.. just for those who did have input such as I have had, how did your family react when it came out that that wouldn't be the kiddlet's name?

[aardvark]

DH and I have a policy of not discussing names with anyone outside of our immediate family until after it's decided. And it's not decided 100% until the baby is born. The only person involved in discussions about names for the baby apart from DH and myself has been DD#1, now a teenager.

My evil MIL wanted us to give DD#1 the most appalling middle name ever created - and it's a man's middle name to boot! She used to call me weekly when I was expecting to harp on about it. Needless to say, it didn't happen.

With #2, she started about it again.

With #3 - well I'm 30+ weeks now, and the cow doesn't know I'm expecting, so she can't have any input!

As for middle names, well, I'm having a boy, and my Grandfather's name was Clarence, and we fully intend using that as the middle name. I like middle names to be family names.